The Longest Story Ever

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Introduction[edit | edit source]

This is the story we created on the forum. Many people worked on it. It was created one sentence at a time. The story was started by Gfdgsgxgzgdrc. Here is the original topic.


Story[edit | edit source]

Chapter 1: The Barbecue of Danger[edit | edit source]

Once upon a time, Homestar was talking to Marzipan and Strong Bad tried to throw a rock at them, but suddenly the rock turned into The Cheat! The Cheat hit Homsar in the head, which then caused him to say, "Hello, Strong Bad. What's the haps?" Strong Bad got surprised and ran to Bubs' Concession Stand to see if Bubs had something to explain it, but it turned out Bubs was actually at Marzipan's, taking back the V.I. Warshawski DVD that was three weeks overdue, but the DVD exploded in a big fiery ball that was visible from space. Strong Bad suddenly started to have the jibblies because the DVD had turned into the Horrible Painting! It then exploded somehow and Coach Z cried, "What happened?". Surprised as his new-found ability to talk normally, he ran around saying, "JOB JOB JOB JOB JOB JOB JOB JOB JOB JOB JOB JOB JAERB." This drove everyone crazy. tZqSQpa.png came and he attempted to use his un-crazy powers on everyone, but he turned into aHcYGp4.png and he started going crazy-go-nuts. The citizens of Free Country USA, seeing the potential danger ran away and hid in Strong Badia, except Homsar, who walked toward aHcYGp4.png and started screaming, "AaAaAaAaA, think I won the powerbaaaaaaallllll..." This caused aHcYGp4.png to explode. Then Pom Pom came and he decided to hold a barbecue. For some reason. He invited Senor Cardgage but then Pom Pom got popped by Strong Bad. Senor Cardgage left, but he came back when he saw the body of Pom Pom, and he was so scared that he started eating a burrito. When Strong Bad asked why he was eating a burrito, Senor Cardgage pointed at Pom Pom's body, turning into a zombie, and he said, "The cheese will devour you popsicles!" so Senor Cardgage and Strong Bad ran away.

Chapter 2: Eh! Sweet Cuppin' Cakes![edit | edit source]

They got teleported to Sweet Cuppin' Cakes Land, so that they could get away from zombie Pom Pom. But then Eh! Steve! teleported out of nowhere and said "Halosche!" Then, he ate a Delicious "Bag" and he exploded. But Strong Bad realized he was stepping on The Worm's hole. The Worm chewed on Strong Bad's foot, so Senor Cardgage tried to put some salt on Strong Bad's foot, so it would taste better for the worm. Strong Bad had to eat Senor Cardgage's burrito so that he would feel better about a worm chomping at his leg. Sherlock flew by and caught the worm and Strong Bad ran away. When Strong Bad ran, everybody including Senor Cardgage ran after him for some reason. But soon he reached a dead end, so he created a helicopter so he could fly away to his very own comic, Teen Girl Squad! Strong Bad found the four, but they all got AVACADO'D! So he walked away and found a Greg. But he couldn't tell which one it was, until the Greg shouted "OKTAKU!", so it had to be Japanese Culture Greg. Senor Cardgage teleported out of nowhere because he wanted vengeance for Strong Bad eating his burrito, so he did some writing. He wrote a 147-page-novel called "Strong Bad ate my Burrito and I wrote a Book About It". It sold 20 million copies and Senor Cardgage became a famous best-selling author. He published many sequels, and eventually became the king of Free Country USA. The King of Town wasn't the king anymore so he decided to join the Homestarmy while they went to Strong Badia.

Chapter 3: Attack of the Homestarmy[edit | edit source]

Strong Bad and The Cheat were trying to figure out how to fix a broken computer, when Bubs came and fixed it for them. Pom Pom ate a sandwich at Crazy Go Nuts University. While Strong Bad and The Cheat were at Strong Badia, The Homestarmy came by and attacked because inside Pom Pom's sandwich was a top secret nuclear weapon that was super special to the Homestarmy, so they fought to see if Strong Bad and The Cheat stole it. There was once this guy and the Homestarmy killed that guy with weapon. Pom Pom was eating the sandwich so that he could go inside CGNU, spit the weapon out and The Poopsmith would study it to take over the world. But then Senor Cardgage threw a rough copy of his book at Pom Pom and he died FOR GOOD. The Homestarmy took the weapon. They celebrated by drinking Yoo-Hoo and doing a dance.

Chapter 4: Into the Atmosphere![edit | edit source]

Then Stinkoman came and kicked The Cheat into the atmosphere. Coach E went to the atmosphere. The atmosphere was an alternate Coach E universe. She had to take one of her favourite characters with her to rescue The Cheat. And that character was Bubs! He and Coach E went inside the spaceship to rescue The Cheat! As they went off in space, they saw Nebulon, so they told him,
"Get outta here, little alien guy! No one likes your style!"
So, he flew away and Coach E saw The Cheat, trying to reach out for the copy Senor Cardgage threw out into the atmosphere! But then Bubz Jr saw it, and he ran for the book. When The Cheat was almost about to float into the sun, Coach E found The Cheat and brought him back to Earth. But then Bubs realized Bubz Jr was chasing after the ship because he wanted Senor Cardgage's book badly! So Bubs bought the book and read it. It was so good that he ate it, but it made him get teleported to Sweet Cuppin' Cakes Land and he met the wheelchair.
"Hey, it's that wheelchair I did the voice of!" he said, "Now where did that spikey toothed version of my son go?"
Bubz Jr teleported there also, because he has awesome dimension transporting powers and then the real much-loved Bubs Jr went into this alternate universe, looking for his father and Coach E, who has The Cheat in her hands. The Cheat was gnawing her bracelets, thinking they were candy gems. Coach E was like, "Ouch!" and she jumped up and scared The Cheat. But Bubz Jr was getting closer to the ship, so the real Bubs Jr grabbed him by the wrist but he said "Ouch! That's sharp!" He managed to throw him out of the ship and then Bubz Jr fell and bumped his head. At least he was with his parents. Mission Complete!

Chapter 5: Sploding Up Old-Timey Stuff[edit | edit source]

They blasted back to Earth and Bubs met Old-Timey Bubs who was just awakening from his grave to watch The Homestar Runner do a dance. {Old-Timey dancing music.} Then, a giant pixelated head came and said "YOUR HEAD A SPLODE" and they realized that it was Strong Bad's Vector Head. Oh, and there was an Old-Timey Bubs Jr with his mother. Old-Timey Bubs dug his head out of the grave, just to see his son doing a dance with The Homestar Runner. The End. Then, the story un-ended, and Vector Strong Bad started sploding the old-timey circus tents and factories until someone ate a taco... it was Bubs and Coach Z. But they were vaporized, witch turned them into their 20X6 counterparts, 20X6 Bubs and 20X6 Coach Z. They started tackling Vector Strong Bad until he exploded, and The Sneak sang a song about telegrams, but the explosion caused The Sneak to die and Old-Timey Homestar did a dance again. Then everything was normal again because 20X6 Bubs and Shadowy Figure threw their taco at Vector Strong Bad. "YOUR HEAD A SPLODE" he said, and he asploded. But before they could celebrate, Shadowy Figure decided to destroy the world, so he filled the universe with tacos, which made the King of Town see a doctor.

Chapter 6: Too Many Tacos and Fries[edit | edit source]

Meanwhile, Coach Z and Bubs tried to eat all the tacos, but failed, so Coach Z starved and Bubs sneakily stole some tacos and ate the whole bunch. He got really fat! This made Coach Z angry, so Coach Z started eating tacos, but after a few, Bubs fed some to his wife, she also get a bit too fat and then Coach Z ate up all the tacos. And he was finally fat. So Coach Z puked in the terlet and Shadowy Figure came out of the terlet and realized he was out of tacos, so he destroyed EVERY TACO IN THE WORLD. That means they had to eat something else. Fries. So the Shadowy Figure planted fries all over the universe and that Shadowy Figure was Coach Z. Babs ate some of the fries. Meanwhile, Bubs epically battled Coach Z because Coach Z stole his napkins. Suddenly, the universe asploded and nothing happened ever again, until the universe restarted. Everything happened again, exactly the same as what happened in the first one, except for some reason the universe didn't asplode. So when Coach Z and Bubs were fighting, the latter took out a random baseball bat and ate some of the fries and hit the poor coach in the face.
"Yeah, shut up kid," said Bubs, thinking he was The Thnikkaman. "Oh, I mean..."
And then Coach Z was shocked when Bubs said "Yeah, shut up kid"!
"Holy gorsh!" cried Coach Z, "You're The Thnikkaman?"
And then Coach Z and Bubs became pals again and played baseball and Coach Z never revealed the secret of The Thnikkaman to anybody anybody.

Chapter 7: The Final Battle[edit | edit source]

But the fries machine was still filling the universe full of fries! So they teamed up and destroyed the fries machine. Then they discovered that somehow, Marshie took over the machine so Homestar ate that fweakin' mawshmallow but evolved into his final form, Gel-Arshie, and escaped Homestar's mouth so Bubs ate Gel-arshie and that's the end of the Marshie commercials and Homestar got his old job back. But he couldn't remember his lines, so Cherry Greg had to write his lines on some boards so he could read them and don't worry, the boards aren't near the camera.
"Take 1!" "Oh, hello. Buy Plushy Muff Marshpillows!" said Homestar. Then a steak sandwich flew by and made Homestar part of the sandwich. For some reason, it grew giant and flew away and then everyone attacked the giant steak sammich and it spit Homestar out and flew away. Homestar continued working on his commercial and it was the best commercial in the universe. Homestar and Cherry Greg got famous together.


Read the sequel at Olympia and Bubs Jr.'s Future Life.