Strong Badathlon/2012/Ceremony

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BUBSHEADSTAND: {narrating throughout the ceremony} Good evening, ladies and gentlemen! I'm BubsHeadStand.

THE ANNOUNCER: {narrating throughout the ceremony} And I'm the Announcer!

BUBSHEADSTAND: And here we are, at the opening ceremony for the 2012 Strong Badathlon. Wow, it's already happening after all this time!

THE ANNOUNCER: Yes, quite an amazement, isn't it?

BUBSHEADSTAND: Indeed it is. Alright, here is the first event, a reenactment of the history of Strong Badia! Starting with how its founder was unjustifiably persecuted for his beliefs...

{As the following narration happens, actors appear on the stage. Actor Strong Bad is shown putting ketchup on his eggs, which Actor Strong Sad is disgusted by. Thus, Actor Strong Bad and Actor The Cheat start on a long, possibly exaggerated journey, until they meet Actor Bubs. Actor Bubs leads the two to a mock-up Strong Badia, and after some (also possibly exaggerated) conflicts with the natives, they eventually cooperate, make a treaty, and celebrate.}

THE ANNOUNCER: I still don't understand why they would do such a thing to him.

BUBSHEADSTAND: Exactly, but I guess it was for the better. I wonder how long it took them to find Strong Badia?

THE ANNOUNCER: You'd have to ask a historian that, but it seems it took them long enough. At least they were able to finally collaborate.

BUBSHEADSTAND: Yes, it is always good how that works out. Ooh, now my favorite part — the national anthem!

THE ANNOUNCER: Ah yes! I believe this is Ms. Partsmatter's first grade class, right?

BUBSHEADSTAND: M-hm. Ah, what soothing voices they —

THE ANNOUNCER: Shh, they're starting!

{Ms. Partsmatter's class starts singing the Strong Badia National Anthem. Complete silence except for the singing and the piano accompaniment by Mr. Cheaterson.}}

BUBSHEADSTAND: {after the applause} Ah, so soothing!

THE ANNOUNCER: And now comes the presentation of the competing countries. First up is Cnbsafia, and boy, what an active country!

{As the countries are mentioned, their representatives walk by on the screen. Their name is shown as they appear.}}

BUBSHEADSTAND: You tell me. The athlete representing Cnbsafia, a fellow by the name of MrMenCentral, is the most active out of all the countries, competing in three events — The Remote Put, The Clean and Jerk Strong Mad's Underwears Over His Head, and Probably Something With Guitars, Lasers, Robots, and Hot Girls. What a mouthful!

THE ANNOUNCER: My, I wonder how he'll fair out. Up next is East Homezipan, home of the renowned athlete Homestar Runner. He'll be competing for Greco-Roman Homestar Crud-Out-of-Beating.

BUBSHEADSTAND: Ooh, I'd hate to see how the other competitor does! Anyways, here comes good ol' Free Country USA, represented by Cherry Greg. Originally just an author, Mr. Greg gained his fame by breaking the world record in the Remote Put. You think MrMen will stand a chance?

THE ANNOUNCER: Possibly, he seems determined. We'll just have to see.


THE ANNOUNCER: up is Gfdia. Their competitor is Gfdgsgxgzgdrc, a well-known in that country. His sport of choice is Greco-Roman Homestar Crud-Out-of-Beating. {gulp} This is his first year, correct?

BUBSHEADSTAND: Correct, Announcer. A large amount of these competitors are new, as a matter of fact. Good luck to them. Anyhow, this next country is definitely one known for its athletic history. Here comes Pompomerania, led by its founder, Pom Pom. He's going to put up a fight, having scored the highest world record ever in the remote put. Man oh man oh man. Man.

THE ANNOUNCER: You can say that again. This is going to be quite...{takes a sniff} Good golly! What is that smell?

BUBSHEADSTAND: {nasal-sounding, apparently covering her nose} That, my friend, would be coming from the Poopsmith, the representative of Poopslovakia. He'll be defending his title in The Cheat Chuck.

THE ANNOUNCER: Ugh...remind me to bring a clothespin for that event.

BUBSHEADSTAND: Will do. Has the smell gone?

THE ANNOUNCER: Yes yes, you may let go. Almost done with the representatives. Here is Sweaty Overweight Land, represented by none other than Tenerence Love. He'll be competing against the Poopsmith in The Cheat Chuck.

BUBSHEADSTAND: Oh of luck to him. ...Aaand last, but definitely not least, our hosting country, Strong Badia! Represented by none other than its founder...Strong Bad!

THE ANNOUNCER: Ah, yes! He will be defending his title in Something With Guitars, Lasers, Robots, and Hot Girls. Wow, so many great representatives!

BUBSHEADSTAND: I'll vouch for that. Well, that's all folks. We'll see you again when the events start. Good night, and best of luck to all our competitors!