Strong Bad's Disk 4 of 12/Those Back Treasures! ft. Coach Z

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{A live-action case filled with 5 inch floppies sits on a desk next to an old computer. The disk in the front has a handwritten label reading "Disk 4 of 12". Strong Bad's gloves reach into the shot, open the case and begin rifling through the contents.}

STRONG BAD: {singing} When I check my email,

{Strong Bad holds up a disk labeled "Old Game".}

STRONG BAD: —there are some old games.

{Strong Bad inserts the disk into a disk drive and then types on a keyboard with boxing gloves on.}

STRONG BAD: Now I'm gonna play them for you.

{The monitor comes to life, showing a screen reading "Strong Bad's Disk 4 of 12". A disk reading noise plays.}

{Gameplay footage of various vintage games begin to play. The first shows a man in a giant cotton candy machine. He gets struck by a wooden beam and his head swells and explodes.}

STRONG BAD: {voiceover} Hello there, what's—NO! Wow! That is not what I wanted to happen!

{The game switches to a wrestling game where grayscale sumo wrestlers lie on the floor of the ring sleeping.}

STRONG BAD: {voiceover} Aw, it's baby Strong Sad taking a nap. {imitates snoring sounds}

{Game now switches to a toilet inside a shower. The showerhead is running.}

STRONG BAD: {voiceover} Turn this on. Spaghetti noodles that are uncooked shootin' out of there.

{Game now switches to a two-color game. A man in a swimsuit is standing at the top of a purple cliff and dives off.}

STRONG BAD: {voiceover, imitating Dangeresque} Looks like I'm gonna have to cliff-dive! Whoooooaaa...

{The game switches back to the first game, where the player confronts a giant bee.}

STRONG BAD: Do you want some cotton candy, bee? {The bee stings the player, causing the player's head to swell and then disappear entirely} Nope, you want to kill me still.

{The game is now a primitive dungeon crawler where the player is holding a sword. The player leaves a room into a hallway.}

STRONG BAD: {voiceover} This game is about collecting crosses, and turning vermin—

{The scene cuts to another room where the player strikes mice, turning them into white mushrooms.}

STRONG BAD: {voiceover} —into mushrooms.

{The game is now a primitive Battleship game with three levels and a grid made of letters.}

STRONG BAD: {voiceover} Look at that battleship! That thing's amazing!

{The game switches to an athletic obstacle course game. The player is leaping over a row of barrels and takes a dive, causing one of the barrels to fly out from the row and break.}

STRONG BAD: {voiceover, singing} Full-body hoodie... whoa-ho-ho! Those are some accurate physics!

{The game is now a black screen reading "What Is Your First Name Captain? (Enter Your Name And Then Strike The Enter Key)".

STRONG BAD: {voiceover} Enter your name and then STRIKE the enter key! Strike it down with extreme prejudice!

{The game now shows a screen where the player is looking into a series of bright lights as the silhouettes of doctors look down. A heart rate line blips.}

STRONG BAD: {voiceover, laughing} What? That is an orange slice that's shooting out some... oil... slicks.

{The screen now does a checkerboard wipe. The game now shows a face on a monitor reading "Mayor Vincenzi" and "Hunter, We've had more reports come in of kids dying..."}

STRONG BAD: {voiceover} There's like a real-life old man staring right at me!

{The text momentarily changes to "...all were horribly disfigured like my... (gulp) ...my poor daughter." before the game switches back to the dungeon crawler from before. The player walking into a river and transforms into a yellow skeleton.}

STRONG BAD: {voiceover} Doo doo doo. Augh... wait, what?

{The screen goes black, with the text reading "Y u Drowned!"}

STRONG BAD: {voiceover} Why you drowned? I dunno!

{Cut back to the computer monitor, now inactive. The title screen for Strong Bad's Disk 4 of 12 returns with a beep and a disk reading sound.}

{Open on the title screen for Lode Runner.}

STRONG BAD: {voiceover} Whenever I see Brøderbund, I think....

{Cuts to a scene from hrwiki:The House That Gave Sucky Treats, after Homestar calls Strong Bad in his Carmen Sandiego costume "The Spanish Inquisition")

EARLY STRONG BAD: Look, for the last time, I'm not The Spanish Inquisition, I'm not Cab Calloway, and I'm not Strong Bad wearing a yellow turtleneck! I'M CARMEN FREAKIN' SANDIEGO!!

{Cuts back to the title screen.}

STRONG BAD: {voiceover} See? That was back when I had that Mexican accent!

{The game starts.}

STRONG BAD: {voiceover} Ladders! Platforms! I'm feel asleep!

{Strong Bad snores.}

{End title card for Strong Bad's Disk 4 of 12.}

TV ANNOUNCER: {quick voiceover as the screen darkens} Strong Bad's Disk 4 of 12 will not be seen this week. Instead we bring you: Coach Z's Disk 1 of 24, already in progress.

{A live-action case filled with 5 inch floppies sits on a desk next to an old computer. The disk in the front has a handwritten label reading "Disk 1 of 24". Coach Z's hands reach into the shot, open the case and begin rifling through the contents.}

COACH Z: {singing} When I chork my zmails,

{Coach Z holds up a disk labeled "Old Game".}

COACH Z: —dere are some old games.

{Coach Z inserts the disk into a disk drive and then types on a keyboard with boxing gloves on.}

COACH Z: Now I'm gonna play thorm for you.

{The monitor comes to life, showing a screen reading "Coach Z's Disk 1 of 24". A disk reading noise plays.}

{The game starts.}

COACH Z: Coach Z here, filling in for Strange Bad. I can't play a game for you. Instead, here's the music video for Fish Eye Lens.

STRONG BAD: Woke up this mornin' in a rap song video
COACH Z: Can ya help me with my hip hop ditty, yo?
STRONG BAD: Well, Coach Z, that all depends
Can ya get ya green mittens on a fisheye lens?

{A synth bass plays two notes that resemble "Waughmp waughmp"}

COACH Z: I'm sorry, did you just say, "Waughmp waughmp"?

STRONG BAD: That's right! {smiling} And you know what that means:

COACH Z: I don't!—

STRONG BAD: Things are about to get... bulbous.

TOGETHER: Waughmp waughmp!
I bought a fisheye lens
And make a rap video
With a couple of friends
It goes, waughmp waughmp!
All the ladies and mens
They know everything is better
With a fisheye lens

COACH Z: Hey, that chorus wasn't kidding! Check out how cool my rap points look!

STRONG BAD: With a fisheye lens, you don't need to know how to rap, or skateboard, or do anything well!

Just put the camera on the ground
And aim it up
COACH Z: My kicks look huge
And my crew looks tough
STRONG BAD: We got bulbous hands
COACH Z: And bulbous feet
STRONG BAD: Turn your back to the camera
TOGETHER: Shake those bulbous cheeks!

COACH Z: Aw, look at that! I've got a considerable rear shelf!

STRONG BAD: That makes me uncomfortable!

{End title card for Coach Z's Disk 1 of 24.}