Strong Bad's Disk 4 of 12/Match Em' Up! ft. Homestar

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{A live-action case filled with 5 inch floppies sits on a desk next to an old computer. The disk in the front has a handwritten label reading "Disk 4 of 12". Strong Bad's gloves reach into the shot, open the case and begin rifling through the contents.}

STRONG BAD: {singing} When I check my email,

{Strong Bad holds up a disk labeled "Old Game".}

STRONG BAD: —there are some old games.

{Strong Bad inserts the disk into a disk drive and then types on a keyboard with boxing gloves on.}

STRONG BAD: Now I'm gonna play them for you.

{The monitor comes to life, showing a screen reading "Strong Bad's Disk 4 of 12". A disk reading noise plays.}

{Gameplay footage of various vintage games begin to play. The first shows a man in a giant cotton candy machine. He gets struck by a wooden beam and his head swells and explodes.}

STRONG BAD: {voiceover} Hello there, what's—NO! Wow! That is not what I wanted to happen!

{The game switches to a wrestling game where grayscale sumo wrestlers lie on the floor of the ring sleeping.}

STRONG BAD: {voiceover} Aw, it's baby Strong Sad taking a nap. {imitates snoring sounds}

{Game now switches to a toilet inside a shower. The showerhead is running.}

STRONG BAD: {voiceover} Turn this on. Spaghetti noodles that are uncooked shootin' out of there.

{Game now switches to a two-color game. A man in a swimsuit is standing at the top of a purple cliff and dives off.}

STRONG BAD: {voiceover, imitating Dangeresque} Looks like I'm gonna have to cliff-dive! Whoooooaaa...

{The game switches back to the first game, where the player confronts a giant bee.}

STRONG BAD: Do you want some cotton candy, bee? {The bee stings the player, causing the player's head to swell and then disappear entirely} Nope, you want to kill me still.

{The game is now a primitive dungeon crawler where the player is holding a sword. The player leaves a room into a hallway.}

STRONG BAD: {voiceover} This game is about collecting crosses, and turning vermin—

{The scene cuts to another room where the player strikes mice, turning them into white mushrooms.}

STRONG BAD: {voiceover} —into mushrooms.

{The game is now a primitive Battleship game with three levels and a grid made of letters.}

STRONG BAD: {voiceover} Look at that battleship! That thing's amazing!

{The game switches to an athletic obstacle course game. The player is leaping over a row of barrels and takes a dive, causing one of the barrels to fly out from the row and break.}

STRONG BAD: {voiceover, singing} Full-body hoodie... whoa-ho-ho! Those are some accurate physics!

{The game is now a black screen reading "What Is Your First Name Captain? (Enter Your Name And Then Strike The Enter Key)".

STRONG BAD: {voiceover} Enter your name and then STRIKE the enter key! Strike it down with extreme prejudice!

{The game now shows a screen where the player is looking into a series of bright lights as the silhouettes of doctors look down. A heart rate line blips.}

STRONG BAD: {voiceover, laughing} What? That is an orange slice that's shooting out some... oil... slicks.

{The screen now does a checkerboard wipe. The game now shows a face on a monitor reading "Mayor Vincenzi" and "Hunter, We've had more reports come in of kids dying..."}

STRONG BAD: {voiceover} There's like a real-life old man staring right at me!

{The text momentarily changes to "...all were horribly disfigured like my... (gulp) ...my poor daughter." before the game switches back to the dungeon crawler from before. The player walking into a river and transforms into a yellow skeleton.}

STRONG BAD: {voiceover} Doo doo doo. Augh... wait, what?

{The screen goes black, with the text reading "Y u Drowned!"}

STRONG BAD: {voiceover} Why you drowned? I dunno!

{Cut back to the computer monitor, now inactive. The title screen for Strong Bad's Disk 4 of 12 returns with a beep and a disk reading sound.}

{The game's screen reads, "Player #1, Please Enter Your First Name And Then Strike Enter Key".}

STRONG BAD: "Player 1, please enter your first name." {typing} Oldenbut. {hits enter, and a prompt for player 2 appears below}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: "Player 2, please enter your first name." You know I gotta go with my all-time favorite, {typing} Bernau. {hits enter}

{The screen briefly reads "One Moment While I Generate A Game Board", then a game board consisting of eight rows (numbered 1 to 8) and five columns (lettered A to E) prints. A prompt reads, "BERNAU , What Is Your FIRST Choice?" A message at the bottom of the screen reads "Strike <F10> To Leave This Game".}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: "Bernau, what is your first choice?" I'm going with D7.

{Space D7 is revealed to be ROLEX CAMERA, worth $90.00. The prompt now asks for Bernau's second choice.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Ooh, a Rolex camera! I know they're trying to fool me, but I know the match is at D8.

{D8 is revealed to be 6 PACK/COORS. The message reads, "SORRY BERNAU , But No Match". The board resets and Oldenbut is prompted for his first choice.}

STRONG BAD: Did that say a "Six-pack of coors?" "Oldenbut, what is your first choice?" Let's go over here to B6.

{B6 is VOLKSWAGEN, worth $5,500.00.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {The Show announcing voice} A horrible Volkswagen! {singing The Show theme} Doo-doo-doo!

STRONG BAD: Shut up. Uh, this thing's definitely at D4.

{D4 is MOBILE HOME.}

STRONG BAD: Mobile home?!

{The board resets; Bernau is asked for his first choice.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: I'm going with A4.

{A4 is GOLD RING, worth $300.00.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Gold ring! I betcha that increases my defense!

STRONG BAD: It's not that kind of a game, Homestar.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: They always try to fool me—I'm going with A5.

{A5 is TRIP TO JAPAN.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Trip to Japan!

{The board resets; Oldenbut is asked for his first choice.}

STRONG BAD: Ugh. Are you always just gonna check the one right below the one you just picked?

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Yes ma'am.

STRONG BAD: Ugh. A2. Six-pack of coors! That's right! It's right over there! D8! Nice!

{A2 is 6 PACK/COORS, worth $3.15.}

STRONG BAD: {excited} Six-pack of cold ones! It was over there, at D8!

{D8 is 6 PACK/COORS. The prompt reads, "ALLRIGHT, A Match !! OLDENBUT, For $3.15 In Prizes, Guess My Secret Number <10 to 99>".}

STRONG BAD: Nice! "Oldenbut, for {laughing a little} three dollars and fifteen cents in prizes" — ooh! That's a cheap six-pack! — "guess my secret number, 10 to 99." You know I gotta go with 54.

{54 is "Sorry, Too High. But Still Your Turn."}

STRONG BAD: Still too high?

{The board now has spaces A2 and D8 missing. Oldenbut is prompted for his first choice.}

STRONG BAD: Okay, I get to go again. Uh, B6.

{B6 is VOLKSWAGEN, worth $5,500.00.}

STRONG BAD: That Volkswagen. Did I already do that?

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {singsong} I'm not telling!

STRONG BAD: {pained} What if Homestar's right and it's the one right below it? Aaagh, you got in my head!

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {smoothly} That's what I do, Strong Bad. It's allll mind games.

STRONG BAD: I'm doing it! B7!

{B7 is FRIENDLYWARE.}

STRONG BAD: D'awh! Friendlyware?!

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Haha! My turn! D3. An MX-80 Printer! Preeow.

STRONG BAD: Oh, man! That doesn't take this game at all!

HOMESTAR RUNNER: And let-me-think-about-it, D4.

STRONG BAD: I'm going with C5. Corvette! Yes! Alright! Gonna be an E...7! Friendlyware?!

{The board resets; Bernau is asked for his first choice.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Ooh, now I know what that is. B7...

{B7 is FRIENDLYWARE, worth $49.95.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: And E7.

{E7 is FRIENDLYWARE. Bernau is asked to guess the computer's secret number for $49.95 in prizes.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Ding ding ding ding ding! Whoa, Friendlyware costs $49.95?!

STRONG BAD: And thems 1983 dollars.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: "Bernau, guess my secret number, 10 to 99!" Uh, 23.

{A message reads "Congratulations BERNAU You WIN !!!" before every space on the board is revealed and the message changes to "Strike Any Key To See Your Prizes".}

TAKE ONE SNORKEL & FINS TAMPA NUGGET TURKEY FARM LOSE ONE
  SURF BOARD BETAMAX MX-80 PRINTER TAKE ONE
BRICK HOME CB-RADIO CORVETTE MX-80 PRINTER SNORKEL & FINS
GOLD RING TURKEY FARM CB-RADIO MOBILE HOME MOBILE HOME
TRIP TO JAPAN TAMPA NUGGET CORVETTE PATIO SET GOLD RING
BETAMAX VOLKSWAGEN LOSE ONE BRASS BED BRASS BED
BRICK HOME FRIENDLYWARE ROLEX CAMERA ROLEX CAMERA FRIENDLYWARE
TRIP TO JAPAN VOLKSWAGEN PATIO SET   SURF BOARD

HOMESTAR RUNNER: "Congratulations Bernau! You win!"

STRONG BAD: What the crap?! You can just guess a stupid number and win the game?! Aw man. I coulda won a Betamax, a brick home, whatever a Tampa nugget is... and a turkey farm!

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Hey, check it out! The MX-80 printer actually followed my double-up style!

STRONG BAD: {emotional} You cheated me out of my turkey farm, Homestar! Least I got my six-pack of cold ones.

{End title card for Strong Bad's Disk 4 of 12.}