Stinkoman Email/1

Stinkoman Email #1: Challenge

Summary: Stinkoman starts his own email show, where he answers emails from his various fans around the world. However, 1-Up interrupts his first episode pleading his case to enter the next Strongest Man In The Universe Tournament.

Cast (in order of appearance): Stinkoman, 1-Up

Places: Stinkoman Headquarters

Date: June 15, 2020

Transcript

Stinkoman Email #1: Challenge

{It immediately cuts to Stinkoman sitting at his computer. No over-the-top intro. Just classic Strong Bad Email-esque typing away at his computer. His computer and keyboard are holographic, conveying that it is indeed the future where this takes place. After typing out the executable “stinkomail.exe”, an email proceeds to pop-up on the floating holographic screen.}

STINKOMAN: {yelling} Is this email asking me for a challenge?

Hey Stinkoman
Is it true you'll challenge anybody?
Your pal from the past,
Emma Fox

STINKOMAN: Hahahaha! First of all, I’m not your pal. If I were, than you’d know that it is not I who asks for challenges. Everyone already knows that I’m the very best, like no-one ever was. I’ve even won greatest challenge-er and fighter-er of the past three years running in the Super Mega Ultra “Strongest Man In The Universe” Tournament.

{Stinkoman clears the screen by pressing enter.}

STINKOMAN: Of course, I cannot deny that Pan Pan gets pretty close to beating me a couple of times. Usually, it is me and Pan Pan in the final round. But, he’s not bouncy enough to evade my... DOUBLE DEUUUUUUUUCE busters. It is adorable, but completely understandable why he tries so hard. He has a great legacy to live up to considering that he’s the great-great-great-great-great-great-great nephew of Pom Pom. One of the greatest fighter-er... ers in history.

{The camera shifts view to behind Stinkoman. 1-Up walks on-screen as Stinkoman spins around in his hovering chair to make eye contact with 1-Up.}

1-UP: What about me, Stinkoman? Am I a good fighter-er-er-er?

STINKOMAN: Bahahahaha! You think that you could go up against the best of the best in the Super Mega Ultra “Strongest Man In The Universe” Tournament 20X6... trademark.

{As he says the tournament name, the words appear dramatically in a large, in-your-face font at the bottom of the screen. Followed by the trademark symbol, naturally.}

1-UP: Come on, Stinko’min. Every single time I’ve asked, you always keep saying “you’re just a kid” and “maybe next year”. Well, it’s next year now and I think I’m good an ready for it! Take me out of the oven, I’m done! Cooked to perfection! Like a nice bowl of choco-LATE puddin’. Mmmm, puddin’!

{1-Up smiles and closes his eyes as love hearts float up around his face.}

STINKOMAN: You misunderstand. When I said “next year” I meant next-next year. There is just no way that your fragile little body can handle going up against my older brothers... just as an example. Older brothers that I will imply exist, but not state their names.

1-UP: What a specific choice of words, Stinko’min!

STINKOMAN: Stop saying “Stinko’min”.

1-UP: Only if you let me train with you for the Strongest Man In The Universe Tournament! Come on, coach! Put me in!

STINKOMAN: Ugh, okay! Fine. You can join us for training sessions, but I’m not going to be making any promises about the Strongest Man In The Universe Tournament 20X6 trademark... dot-com... with cheese. {Trails off into muttering.}

1-UP: What?

STINKOMAN: Nothing.

{Stinkoman would turn back to his holographic computer screen and resume typing out his response to the email that triggered this whole conversation.}

STINKOMAN: So, in order to answer your original question, Ms. Fox. I’ll challenge anybody that asks me. With that being said, I guess... uh... I guess I’m training 1-Up now. {Pause.} Crap.

Fun Facts

• Stinkoman and 1-Up are the 20X6 versions of Homestar Runner and Strong Bad. Just in case, y'know, someone needed that context.
  • Stinkoman Email is a fanfiction series based on Strong Bad Email that tells original stories through that narrative structure. It is effectively the 20X6 version of Strong Bad Email.
• The "Strongest Man In The Universe Tournament" is a clear reference to "The Strongest Man In The World Contest", the subject of Homestar Runner's first ever appearance in the children's storybook, "The Homestar Runner Enters the Strongest Man in the World Contest".
• How often will this series update, you ask? A very good question. Around about as often as the actual Homestar Runner website, probably.
• This first email is borrowing its blockquote from Honstlar Email. A unique blockquote for Stinkoman Email will be requested and made shortly.
• Tournament storylines tend to be a common trope in a lot of early-2000's shonen anime. Think Dragon Ball Z, Yu Yu Hakusho, Naruto, etc.
• Speaking of anime references, "the very best like no-one ever was" is a well-known lyric from the popular children's anime, Digimon.
• Stinkoman implies that he has two older brothers, but will not state who they are. It is assumed that these are the 20X6 versions of Strong Mad and Strong Sad.