Inanimate Objects in Decidedly Non-Inanimate Situations/Episode 8
Description: The eliminated contestants get their time to shine.
Transcript[edit | edit source]
{In The Field, the remaining contestants are gathered around, with Humidibot, Scotty Titi, and Cardboard Marzipan sitting on benches}
HUMIDIBOT: It's finally happening! I'm excited!
CARDBOARD MARZIPAN: Me too!
{Scotty Titi waits excitedly... I think}
F-SACK: That does mean one of you will leave the show, though. Your trio is about to be broke up.
CARDBOARD MARZIPAN: That just means I have new friends to make then.
HUMIDIBOT: Whatever happens, we'll get through it.
FRANK BENNEDETTO: How noble of you.
HUMIDIBOT: Thanks!
DRIVE-THRU WHALE: Teller does not carry lobster bisque.
HUMIDIBOT: {awkwardly} Ehh... thanks?
(The Lappier suddenly drops down from the sky}
LAPPIER: Surprise entrance!
STRONG BAD: {singing} Vote 'em up, vote 'em up, vote 'em up y'all!
LAPPIER: Now Bubses, you made a perfectly mediocre tribute to Trogdor last time. So one of you is sayin' bye bye.
{Scotty stands still}
HUMIDIBOT: If it's Scotty, I can say bye bye for him.
LAPPIER: Today's cake is... "Why hello, chocolate cake!"
{In walks The Cheat covered in whatsit}
THE CHEAT: {embarrassed The Cheat noises}
CARDBOARD MARZIPAN: I'll pass!
HUMIDIBOT: And me! Scotty will pass too!
LAPPIER: As expected. Cardboard Marzipan, you have never been voted since you were added as a recommended character.
CARDBOARD MARZIPAN: That's cuz I am lovable and kind!
LAPPIER: And once again, you get zero votes.
{He pretends to toss a cake to Cardboard Marzipan}
CARDBOARD MARZIPAN: Oh, I just ate that! Taste sensation!
LAPPIER: Now, these two are interesting. Humidibot, you've been voted every single time you were up for elimination. But you've also survived every time.
HUMIDIBOT: Someone's always got it out for Humidibot.
LAPPIER: And Scotty, you escape elimination despite doing nothing and saying nothing in every episode.
{Scotty sits there}
LAPPIER: Well, one of your lucky streaks comes to an end. Humidibot?
HUMIDIBOT: Yeh?
LAPPIER: Say bye bye... to yourself!
HUMIDIBOT: {upset} I'm... Humidibot?
{The vaccuum tube lowers, lowers... but then stops}
LAPPIER: Humidibot, you have a second chance at winning this competition. Because today is REJOIN DAY!
HUMIDIBOT {excited} YAY! What's rejoin day?
LAPPIER: One eliminated contestant is going to rejoin the game.
F-SACK: I want Doreauxgard!
CARDBOARD MARZIPAN: Humidibot!
LAPPIER: Now now, it's up for the voters to decide.
FRANK BENNEDETTO: But then there's no point in them having a competition.
LAPPIER: Sure there is. I will subject the applicants to the same rigorous screening process that Strong Bad subjected a bunch of applicants to in the sbemail "replacement". Then the viewers choose who was most impressive!
HUMIDIBOT: Hoo wee!
LAPPIER: Stand clear of the vaccuum tube! Danger: falling contestants!
{Everybody stands at a safe distance. The vaccuum tube rapidly spits out Tony Stony, Trivia Time, Onion Bubs, The Paper, and Doreauxgard in a big dogpile}
LAPPIER: Get it on!
{Cut to Humidibot and the Lappier alone in The Field}
LAPPIER: I'm gonna hold up a last name, and you make fun of it.
HUMIDIBOT: I don't like making fun of people.
LAPPIER: {exasperated} Just... try and play along with the game.
HUMIDIBOT: Eh...
LAPPIER: {holds up a cue card} Wolfswinkel.
HUMIDIBOT: Wolfs... winking?
LAPPIER: {changes the cue card} Rhammar.
HUMIDIBOT: Grammar... as in get some?
LAPPIER: {changes the cue card} Biscuités.
HUMIDIBOT: Got nothin'.
LAPPIER: {changes the cue card} Nimbus.
HUMIDIBOT: Ahh, this is too hard!!
{Cut to the Lappier and The Paper in Strong Bad's computer room}
LAPPIER: Let's hear...er, see your best "Deleted".
THE PAPER: {prints out} > (っ◔◡◔)っ ♥ deleted ♥
{The Lappier presses a button on his keyboard and he displays the DELETED screen:}
{Cut to the basement with the Lappier and Tony Stony. A cardboard box with Strong Sad painted on it is on the couch}
LAPPIER: Strong Sad's on the couch, watching TV. What do you do?
TONY STONY: What's he watching?
LAPPIER: Some boring documentary that contains no lasers or hot babes in the slightest.
TONY STONY: I go play with Strong Mad.
LAPPIER: Uh, if he's busy, then what do you do?
TONY STONY: {shrugs} Dunno. Probably hang out.
LAPPIER: We got a real diamond-cutter personality right here, folks.
{Cut to Onion Bubs and the Lappier near Bubs' Concession Stand}
LAPPIER: Scroll button song! Gimme a good one!
ONION BUBS: {singing} Gimme them scrollable controllable, buttons that...
{He begins to be drowned out by the screaming fans cheering for Onion Bubs, including the one guy screaming "ONION BUBS!!"}
LAPPIER: {covering his ears} Ugh, it's like Beatlemania in here. Did you have to bring your entourage?!
ONION BUBS: Onion Bubs don't sing without his lady fans!
LAPPIER: And a few guys, I hear.
{Cut to the Lappier and Trivia Time in the same basement with the cardboard box}
LAPPIER: Strong Sad's on the couch. Whatcha gonna do?
{Trivia Time barks and opens his top, ejecting a cookie against the cardboard box}
LAPPIER: Unconventional. I like it.
{Cut to The Field with the Lappier, Doreauxgard and Scotty Titi who is wearing a cardboard box with The Cheat painted on it}
LAPPIER: Pretend this is The Cheat. Give him a kick!
DOREAUXGARD: Kick with what?!
LAPPIER: Oh. You have a pencil as a bottom half. Well, surprise me.
DOREAUXGARD: With pleasure!
{He uses the eraser end of the pencil and attempts to erase "The Cheat"}
LAPPIER: The Cheat is not a pencil drawing.
DOREAUXGARD: Gimme a few days or weeks and I could rub him out!
LAPPIER: Well, folks, you know what we gotta do now. The most efficient way to humiliate the uncoordinated and overweight - DANCE CONTEST!!
{Cut to a stage. Doreauxgard spins around and bouncing on his pencil.}
{Next is Onion Bubs, who tumbles around like he was just rolled across a table}
{Then Tony Stony, who does the slightest little dance with his arms}
{Humidibot wheels himself around and flaps his lid mouth}
{Trivia Time just bounces around and barks like a dog}
{The Paper prints out as he always does}
THE PAPER: > I'm kinda permanently attached to the top of the screen, yo!!
LAPPIER: Sounds like a "you" problem to me.
{The Paper tries to crinkle himself back and forth. But he doesn't move much at all}
THE PAPER: > how's that?
LAPPIER: Almost adequate!
THE PAPER: > I can dance the electric slide... I just don't want to.
{A screen comes up displaying the rejoining contestants}
LAPPIER: {voiceover} Well, there you have it. Vote for who you want to get a second chance at winning the IODNIS grand prize. Tony Stony, Trivia Time, Onion Bubs, The Paper, Doreauxgard, or Humidibot. Peace!