Broternal Order Of Different Helmets/Strong Badman Meets the Helmet Squad

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{Cut to the Pillquarters. The BODH is all waiting as Honstlar walks in.}
{{hn}} Hey, helmets! I suppose you're wondering why I called this emergency meeting.
{{gf}} Well, in fact, we certainly ha—
{{hn}} I just found this weird glowy orb on the street! {sets an orb on the table} Pretty cool, huh? I wonder what it's for.
{{ev}} Is it like the QblePon orb?
{{hn}} Maybe.
{{gf}} Is it like the Garby Orb?
{{hn}} It could be.
{{gf}} Then there's no use waiting!
(Gfd picks up the orb.)
All: NOOOO!!!!!!
{{sr}} Hey, it seems familiar somehow... Oh yes! I've been reading about this orb. It's called the Superium Orb.
{{gf}} That's a cheesy name. What does it do?
{{sr}} If I remember correctly, when it comes into contact with an organism—
{The orb starts glowing}
{{sr}} —the combination of the orb's elements and the DNA causes a nuclear reaction, releasing radioactive waves into the air—
{Waves start coming out of the orb}
{{sr}} —which are absorbed by any surrounding organisms, mutating them—
{The BODH starts glowing}
{{sr}} —and once the orb reaches maximum radioactivity, it detonates, decimating any nearby structures!
{The orb blows up. The Pillquarters is destroyed, and only the BODH remains.}
{{hn}} So what you're saying is that since Gfd touched it, not only did we cause tons of collateral damage, we've got the X-Gene?
{{sr}} Yeah.
{{gf}} Pardon my French, but quelle est la merde est le gène x?
(Subtitles appear saying "What the crap is the X-Gene?" when Gfd starts speaking the language of love.)
{{hn}} It's this thing from some comic books that gave the X-Men their unique abilities.
{{ev}} Healing factors, shapeshifting, magnetism.
{{sr}} Telekinesis, flight, invisibility.
{{dn}} You name it, there's probably a Marvel character who has that ability.
{{hn}} So, basically, we have superpowers now. Sweet! Gfd, what did you get?
{{gf}} Not sure. {looks into the distance} Ooh! The ice cream truck!
{Gfd speeds off in a cloud of dust, then returns in a fraction of a second with a large ice cream cone}
{{gf}} What I miss?
{{hn}} Well, we can cross superspeed off the list.
{{ce}} (Offscreen) What's next?
(Honstlar turns around)
{{hn}} I don't know. Wait, where the crap is Erin?!
{{ce}} {offscreen} Right here! You guys! Behind Greg!
{{ev}} But you— hey, wait a minute... {waves his arm around; a slap is heard}
{{ce}} {offscreen} OW! You just hit me in the eye!
{{ev}} Sorry. I didn't see where your eye was.
{{ce}} Oops. One second... {fades into visibility}
{{hn}} All right. Gfd's got speed, E's got invisibility... wha' bou' me?
{{ev}} Uh, try looking down.
(Honstlar does that, revealing that he is above the ground.)
{{hn}} By Stan Lee's glasses, I can fly!
{{gf}} That's great! Try not to say "sbu".
{{sr}} ...Or would it be "raltsno"? His name backwards minus the first letter.
{Honstlar starts flying around in the background}
{{gf}} Hey, SRMX12, what did you get?
{{sr}} Not sure yet. Scanning for genetic mutations... {a green laser comes out of his eyes and scans himself}
{{gf}} Whoa! How did you do that?
{{sr}} Hmm. I'm detecting hints of metallic substances, electricity, and advanced circuitry. Hey, wait a minute! I'm an android now, just like I always lied about before! ER, I MEAN... like I always was before! Because, of course, I've always been an android. And, uh, nothing changed. At all.
{{sp}} All this mutation is making me thirsty.
(Stom reaches for a glass of water, causing his arm to stretch.)
{{sp}} Woah!
{{hn}} He's become Stretch Armstrong!
{{ev}} Okay, that's cool and all, but where's my powers?
{{gf}} I don't know and I don't care.
(Greg gives a death glare as his eyes turn green.)
{{gf}} Oh, I didn't say that, it was my clone!
{{gf}} And by the way, I never noticed you had green eyes. I think I have boring ol' hazel.
{{hn}} {stops flying and lands} How are you doing that, Greggins?
{{ev}} I don't know.
(Laser beams come out of Greg's eyes)
{{ev}} Holy crap!
{{gf}} It's a good thing our headquarters is already destroyed. Otherwise that woulda caused some serious structural damage.
{{hn}} And last but not least... Rabite! What did you get?
{{rb}} I don't know. Besides, what could possibly top being able to make anything a person?
{{hn}} I don't know, maybe you should ask that refrigerator you're holding.
{{rb}} Oops, sorry. Musta picked this up by accident. {puts it down}
{{hn}} Yeah, but... you were ''holding a refridgerator''.
{{rb}} Maybe I have super strength! Yeah, that's it!
{Rabite runs toward Bubs' Concession Stand and picks it up}
{{bb}} New location, same great prices! Wait no. Scratch that. New location, bigger prices! Tired of this $99 ice cube? Now you can have it for $1999!
{Rabite runs back toward the BODH}
{{gf}} So, is that everybody? Cool, cool. We've got it all figured out.
{{dn}} Hey, wait a minute. We exist too!
{{hr}} Yeah, we were in the other room when the orb splo'd up.
{{db}} Nine dollars!
{{hr}} Exactly, tiny hobo, nine dollars.
DWAYNE!
(Homestar is now made of money.)
{{hr}} Ooh, I feel like a million nine bucks!
{{hn}} Shapeshifting. All right, all right. What about you, Dean?
{{dn}} Mind powers, I think. Telekinesis, telepathy, all that stuff.
{{hn}} What do you mean, exactly?
{Zoom in to Honstlar's head. After a few seconds, zoom out.}
{{hn}} She says she can communicate through brains.
{{dn}} And read minds. Right now... {concentrates} Gfd's thinking about walnuts and socks.
{{gf}} I deny anything of the sort. I have never in my life eaten walnuts and socks together, and obviously, I have no idea that it's a delicious combination.
{Gfd starts floating}
{{gf}} Whoa whoa whoa! Dean!! Put me down!
{Dean puts Gfd down}
{{hn}} Okay then... just one guy left.
{Cut to Dooble. The camera slowly zooms in as ominous music plays.}
{{db}} Ka-boom-boom!
(Dooble explodes, but he is still intact)
{{hn}} You can blow up yourself? YEAH, BABBY!!
{{gf}} What should we name our new superhero team, The X-Hats?
{{ce}} What about Headgear Force?
{{hn}} Ooh! Or the Headvengers?!
{{sr}} The Beanie League?
{{gf}} Hey guys hey guys! I've got it! We'll be the...
{Gfd strikes a dramatic pose and a spotlight shines on him}
{{gf}} {loud and echoey} HELMET HEROES!!
{{hn}} Or the Helmet Squad.
{{gf}} Oh yeah, that'd work too.
{The spotlight disappears}
{{gf}} So, next thing we gotta do is make names and costumes for ourselves. We can't be superheroes without 'em!
{{hn}} What'll you be?
{{gf}} Fasty the Guy! Wait, no, no. Star Runner! Uh... BreakFast! QuickTime! Zoomtown! Quickity Sam! Run-Around-M'n! You know what, these are all terrible ideas. Maybe I'll try taking a long walk. When I come back, I'll see if I have any ideas.
{Gfd vanishes for a millisecond in a cloud of dust, then returns, exhausted}
{{gf}} {breathing hard} Man! That walk... {gasp} really worked wonders... for my... imagination. How long has it been, like an hour? Sorry for keeping you waiting so long.
{{hn}} So what did you come up with?
{{gf}} SPEEDO! In fact— {in a blur, Gfd runs off and comes back with a drawing of a costume} —I've got my costume all planned out! I'll try making it and seeing how it looks.
{Gfd runs off and comes back wearing a swim cap and goggles, with a red cape and a yellow shirt reading "SPEEDO"}
{{gf}} Oh yeah, this is great!
{Gfd quickly makes a costume for each person after they say their name}
{{hn}} I shall be known as Flyguy!
{{ev}} Just call me Eyebolt.
{{sp}} I am Rubbam'n!
{{db}} Eggs Plotion!
{{hr}} I wanna be Texxtura!
{{sr}} I call dibs on Robonic!
{{ce}} I'll be Chameleon E! Because, you know, chameleons are sort of invisible.
{{rb}} I'm maybe Strong Good. 'Cause I'm strong. And, uh, good.
{{dn}} And I'll be Telephone. Since I have, like, tele- powers.
{{gf}} All right! Now there's one last thing. Weaknesses! Every superhero has a weakness. Remember kryptonite?
{{sr}} Scanning for weaknesses. {a green laser comes from his eyes, scanning each member} Flyguy, you can't say your name backwards minus the first letter. Speedo, you can't be in cold temperatures. Chameleon E, you'll become visible in the rain. SRM— er, me... I can't go in water. Makes sense, I guess. Eyebolt, don't shoot at mirrors or you'll hit yourself in the eye, damaging your laser abilities. Rubbam'n... you can't stretch yourself too long, or you'll freeze into that stretch forever. Strong Good, you can't lift anything made of apple pie. Teledean, you can't wear hats. It'll interfere with your brain-type powers. Texxtura, contemporary jazz turns you back into normal. Eggs Plotion, you are unable to blow up meatloaf.
{{hn}} Great! Now that that's all sorted out... we need a headquarters. Or at least shelter from the rain and somewhere to sleep.
{{gf}} Let's look in the newspaper. {picks up a newspaper and flips through it quickly}
{{ev}} How did that survive the explosion?
{{gf}} Ah-ha! I found something in the classifieds section.
{Cut to the ad}
<blockquote>
Looking for roommate (preferrably w/ superpowers).
Room 497 of an apartment in whatever city this is.
Rent-controlled, water included. 2-bedroom, 1.5 bath.
Expanded basic cable stolen from my neighbor.
Includes secret lab b/w foosball table.
</blockquote>
{{hn}} Rent-controlled? This can only mean one thing...
(Cut to the exterior of the apartment.)
Narrator: In a boolding...
(Cut to the inside, we then hear the doorbell)
Strong Badman: Stiney, get the door for me!
{Cut to The Cheat dressed as Li'l Stiny, drawn in a Strong Badman style. He opens the door.}
{{hn}} Hi, is this Strong Badm'n?
STRONG BADMAN: It is I, mortal.
{{gf}} Yeah, we've come to stay in your house.
STRONG BADMAN: Oh jeez. When I was looking for a roommate, I wasn't thinking of, like, ten of them.
{{hn}} Well, we're all superheroes. Show him, guys!
{Stom stretches into a trampoline and Gfd quickly runs up and jumps off it. Honstlar flies up and gives Gfd a high five. SRMX12 uses his rocket feet to fly sideways as Honstlar and Gfd land on him, and they ride him around the room. They stop above Dooble, and SRMX12 surrounds him with metal, protecting the room as he explodes. EDITED Video Greg shoots his laser eyes at Dean, who stops the laser with her mind. Homestar turns into a 2000-pound dumbbell and Rabite lifts him. Everyone returns to normal.}
STRONG BADMAN: Whoa. That's pretty impressive actually. Sure, you guys can stay here. Let me give you a tour of the apartment.
(Cut to the TV)
Strong Badman: Here is the state of the art tube tv from 1989...
(Cut to the faucets)
Strong Badman: Here are the tools I'm using for my diabolical scheme...
{{hr}} (Singing) The Neverending Faucets...
(Cut to the bedroom)
Strong Badman: Here is my secret lair...
{{ev}} Has the neighbor noticed?
Strong Badman: Not even the eagle eyes of Mr. Foodleman can discover my secrets!
{{hn}} Ha ha, Foodleman.
{{ev}} Can't you buy your own house
STRONG BADMAN: Ahem. ''Rent-controlled.'' I thought I made that abundantly clear.
{{gf}} Nice, nice. So what else you got in your 'partment/lair?
Strong Badman: Well... I've got this tiny phone.
(The phone rings)
STRONG BADMAN: {picks up phone} Hello?
{A muffled voice is heard}
STRONG BADMAN: I'll be right there! {puts down the phone} Helmet Squad, there's a robbery in progress at Central Bank. Will you join me to stop this criminal?
{{hn}} So wait, I'm confused. Are you a superhero or a supervillain?
STRONG BADMAN: Supervillain for my career, superhero in my spare time.
{{gf}} That makes very little sense.
STRONG BADMAN: Most things make very little sense, my blue man.
{{hn}} We'll do it!
Strong Badman: Stiny, get me my keys!
{Stiny hands him his keys}
STRONG BADMAN: TO THE BADMOBILE!
{Cut to Strong Badman, Stiny, and the Helmet Squad driving slowly in a beat-up, mold-green minivan.}
STRONG BADMAN: Trust me, if I had a bigger budget, this Badmobile would be tricked out with all sorts of flames and laser guns and spiky wheels. Or at least air conditioning.
{They arrive at Central Bank}
Bad Guy: (Offscreen) I said paper bag. PAPER!
{{hn}} Looks like we got ourselves a picker.
{{gf}} Then there's no food to waste! I mean time.
(Cut to the interior of the bank, where we see a supervillain version of Homeschool Winner collecting bags of money)
Homeschool: Ah, sweet, sweet, cash.
{Zoom out to reveal he's in the bank vault}
HOMESCHOOL WINNER: {holds up a device} Now I just need to use this laser cutter to cut a hole in the wall and escape outside secretly!
{Cut to the main bank interior. The superheroes arrive.}
{{gf}} Now where's that villainm'n?
{{sr}} {scans the area} I've detected a lifeform in the bank vault over there.
{They walk over to the metal vault door. It's closed.}
{{hn}} Well, this is just greatastic. How will we get inside? Anyone know the combination?
{{sr}} Don't worry, there's a 83% chance he will leave through this door. We can catch him when he leaves.
{{hn}} Is that a laser cutter I hear?
{{sr}} That chance just dropped to 9%.
{{gf}} Quick! Someone get in there before he escapes!
{{hr}} I'll save the day!!
(Homestar becomes liquid and slips through the door.)
{{hr}} Hey, haven't I seen you somewhere?
Homeschool: No, you haven't!
{{hn}} Hey, I recognize that voice...
(The door opens revealing Homestar back to normal and Homeschool.)
{{hn}} Of course it's Homeschool.
Homeschool: I am not homeschooled, I went to college, EVIL COLLEGE!!, EVIL VIRGINIAN COLLEGE!!!!! I am the one known as...
(Duplicates of Not Homeschool appear.)
Duplicato: DUPLICATO!!!
{{hn}} Duplicato... we meet again. For the first time. Whatever.
DUPLICATO: Good luck getting out of here, helmet fools...
{He opens the door, locks it, and closes it}
DUPLICATO: Because this bank is set to self-destruct in 30 seconds!
{{gf}} We can't let him escape with that money! Or let ourselves be blown up!
{{sr}} I calculate a 73.4% chance of failure.
{{ev}} Wait, what if Eggs tries to absorb the explosion?
{{sr}} Well, in that case, we have a 73.3% chance of failure.
{{db}} Never sell me the oddysey, Ronginald!
(Dooble runs to the left.)
{{sr}} Should I tell him where the bomb is?
Strong Badman: Sure, whatever.
{{sr}} Scanning. {scans the room} It's up there, hidden in the security camera.
{{dn}} {disassembles the camera with her mind, and floats the bomb onto the floor}
{{db}} Remember, kids, my gravy is one-of-a-kind! Don't protest yourself! {leaps onto the bomb}
{{rb}} What if this doesn't work?
{{ev}} Then we all go kablooie.
(The timer goes off and nothing happens.)
{{hn}} Was it a dud?
(Dooble stands up, revealing a charred potbelly.)
{{db}} No.
{{gf}} YOU DID IT!
Strong Badman: Now, let's stop Duplicato!
{{hn}} So, how do we get outta here?
{{ev}} {fires laser at the door} Barely made a dent.
{{rb}} I'll try. {smashes into the door, causing it to fall over}
{{gf}} Wow, that super strength is super. Strength.
{{ev}} You could've just done that this whole time?! Dooble almost got himself blown up!
{{rb}} {shrugs} I didn't think it would really work. Ow... smashing through that steel door gave me a serious headache.
{{hn}} Let's go get that clone menace!
{{sr}} Yeah! Except, uh, the door is destroyed and anyone can walk in and take money.
{Gfd blurs around the room, building something}
{{gf}} Phew. Is this door good enough? {holds up a new bank vault door}
{{sr}} {scans the door} Fully stabilized.
{{gf}} Good. I worked for days on that thing!
{In a flash, the door is attached to the doorframe}
{{hn}} Now, as I said before, let's get revenge on that clone menace! I hope we can strike a great return. And, um, he'll awaken for the last time.
{{gf}} I see what you did there.
{They run out of the bank}
Duplicato #27: Is this necessary?
Duplicato: No, I just wanted to fulfill my dream of wreaking havoc in a pyramid formation.
{The Helmet Squad runs in}
{{hn}} Freeze, Stevie Twice-Times! Wait... which one is him?
{{dn}} {closes her eyes, puts her hand out, and concentrates for a few seconds, then stops} The one at the top of the pyramid.
{{hn}} Leave this to me! {flies to the top} Freeze, the real Stevie Twice-Times!
DUPLICATO: You really expect me to stop because you say so? How naive.
{{hn}} No. I expect you to stop because if you don't, we'll stop you ourselves.
DUPLICATO: And how do you plan to do that? You're the only one who can fly, so no one else can get to the top of my pyramid.
{{hn}} We can climb. That's what you and your clones did, isn't it?
DUPLICATO: Yeah, you can't do that. My clones will stop you.
{{hn}} Unless you're Homestar.
{Duplicato #19 jumps up and kicks Duplicato}
Duplicato: What was that for?!
{Duplicato #19 transforms into Homestar}
HOMESTAR RUNNER: I wanted to do a cube!
DUPLICATO: What? Homestar?!
{{hr}} You didn't think your own clone would betray you, didja?
{{dn}} {levitates the Helmet Squad to the top of the pyramid}
{{hn}} {swoops down, grabs Dean, and flies up}
DUPLICATO: Uh oh. Uh... freeze, Helmet Squad!
{{hn}} You really expect me to stop because you say so?
Duplicato: Yes...
{{hn}} Joke's on you, This isn't Cutseycorns!!
Strong Badman: HELMET SQUAD, ATTACK!!!!
(Rabite chucks Dooble at the pyramid.)
{{db}} Haloche, polymer!
(Dooble explodes.)
{The clones are blown up, and Duplicato falls down from the top of the pyramid}
{{ev}} Ha! Now we'll get you for sure.
{EDITED Video Greg fires his laser eyes at Duplicato, but Duplicato creates a clone of himself as a shield, which gets blown up by the laser}
DUPLICATO: Sorry, Helmet Squad, but you'll never defeat me as long as I have my clones. I can protect myself from any attack!
{Rabite runs up to Duplicato and starts to punch him, but Duplicato protects himself with another clone}
Duplicato: See, what did I just-
(An invisible force punches Duplicato in the gut.)
Duplicato: OW!!
(Erin appears.)
{{hn}} Way to go, Chameleon E!
Duplicato: You wanna play dirty? I'LL SHOW YOU DIRTY!!!!
(Duplicato duplicates the BODH into opposite versions)
Strong Badman: Who the crap are they?!?
Raltsnoh: I apologize, it wouldn't be polite to kill you before introducing ourselves... I am Raltsnoh Alpha!
{{ev}} Raltsnoh? What kinda name is that?
{{gf}} It's almost as unpronouncable as Gfgdsgzgxdsgrc! I mean, Gdgfgsxgzdgdrc! I mean, nevermind.
{{hn}} Isn't "Raltsnoh" Honstlar spelled backwards?
CRD: Indeed it is. I am called Crdgzgxgsgdfg. It would be a pleasure to kill you.
{{hn}} Who are you guys?! Why are your names our names spelled backwards?
DUPLICATO: I duplicated you. But I used a special technique... I inverted your clones' DNA, making them the opposites of you!
{{sr}} That doesn't sound scientifically plausible.
GERG OEDIV DETIDE: We are known as...
HDOB: THE HEINOUS DISORDER OF OBNOXIOUS BADGUYS!!!
{{sr}} Disorder, wouldn't that mean you don't get along?
Naed: SHUT UP, IT'S THE BEST WE COULD COME UP WITH!!!
RALSNOH ALPHA: I'm but a lowly minion of the Heinous Disorder, but they let me do all the talking, which is nice. I write a newspaper column in which I give readers glimpses into the future. I'm the best friend of Duplicato.
DUPLICATO: Uh, you didn't exist five minutes ago. And now we're best friends?
RALTSNOH ALPHA: Erm... you created me, so for that I am going to assume, for the moment, that we are best friends.
CRDGZGXGSGDFG: I ridicule food of any sort. I have survived my whole life without a bite of anything.
DUPLICATO: Your whole life as in, the last five minutes?
CRDGZGXGSGDFG: Shut up, I didn't ask you. I also have nine PhDs, as well as being talented, with a strong moral compass. Despite this, I do not like myself so much.
{{hn}} I actually like this guy better than the real Gfd.
21XMRS: ME 21XRMS. ME IS NOT SO SMART. WHAT A INTERNET?
E HCAOC: Bubs and Coach Z are my mortal enemies. I like to watch cartoons about them killing each other. Painfully.
{{ce}} Uh, a little harsh there, other E.
GERG OEDIV DETIDE: I am known as Gerg Oediv Detide. I despise anime and movie logos with my very soul, and I hate edited videos. If you're going to make a video, you should at least make something original.
MOTS: Greetings, I'm Mots. I force everyone to give me potato salad every three seconds. Speaking of which, I DEMAND MY POTATO SALAD!
{The HDOB frighteningly gives Mots potato salad}
ETIBAR: My name is Etibar, and I enjoy drawing humans as dumb animal characters.
NAED: We's Maet-B. We's like the leaders of Disorder. Me named Naed. I'm fail college a lot. The others is Ratsemoh and Elbood.
RENNUR RATSEMOH: I just lie on the couch all day and watch TV. I hate all you guys.
ELBOOD: Salutations. Now, it is very unlikely that any sentient organism in this existence ever needs my assistance, and therefore, I do not feel the need to assist them with their pathetic lives. In fact, quite the antithesis— I vehemently appreciate doing the most unhelpful tasks possible. Combusting everyone's domiciles, for instance.
{{hn}} So we have a starving graduate, an up and coming Viacom lawyer, a caveman, a salad-crazed maniac, someone who mutates people into horrifying monstrosities, a flunkie, a couch potato, and a selfish genius. Yep, we're boned.
Unknown Voice: (Offscreen) Also you forgot me.
{{hn}} HOLY CRAP. NO. NO. IT CANT BE.
Pat Sajak: Yes. The attempt at creating Gerg Oediv Enesra... or as I would have liked to be named if we were more creative with the names, Koichi Video Greg, rather than create a new human being, merely yanked me out of California. Apparently, I was already that stick figure dudes polar opposite in every way.
Leonid Yakubovich: (speaks Russian): I'm here with him too. Opposite of one guy is two guys.
{{ev}} YOU MEAN THERE'S MORE OF YOU GUYS?!?!
Leonid: Yep, pretty much.
Crd: But they're all in another dimension.
{{sr}} How do you know that?
Crd: Uh, hyperintelligence, remember?
{{sr}} Hyperintelligence, huh? Tell me, what's the meaning of life? And don't say 42.
Crd: It's actually 27, surprisingly enough.
{Cut to a slow zoom-in of SRMX12. The background fades into a galaxy, which is reflected off his glasses.}
{{sr}} 27... of course... it all makes sense...
{Cut to a wide shot. SRMX12 snaps out of it and the background returns to normal.}
{{gf}} What all makes sense?
{{sr}} Oh, nothing. I just bought a burger last week for $27. That's gotta mean something, right?
{{hn}} It means you got ripped off, is what it means. That is a ridiculously expensive burger.
{{sr}} It was a gourmet burger.
Crd: Was it an Arch Deluxe?
{{sr}} IT'S LIKE YOU'RE READING MY MIND!!!
DUPLICATO: You guys are supposed to be mortal enemies! Quit talking about burgers!
RALTSNOH ALPHA: Yes, Supreme Overlord.
DUPLICATO: Now I'm just gonna leave you opposites to fight each other in peace. See ya. {blasts off into the sky using clones as propulsion, like a rocket engine}
{{hn}} So, um...
Naed: Are you'se gonna do it or...
(Silence)
Ratsemoh: !nekorb era sepip ehT
(A fight breaks out.)
{{gf}} Wait, do our opposites have the same superpowers we do? Or the opposite of our superpowers? Or no superpowers at all?
CRD: Right. Didn't think of that.
{The fight resumes}
{{hn}} Ow, my porgadon!
Naed: Ows, my nodagrop!
{Gfd tries to eat Crd, but Crd somehow materializes knives out of his mouth, which Gfd dodges}
{{gf}} Eww. You can make anything come out of your mouth?
CRD: Makes sense, doesn't it? It's the opposite of you eating everything.
{{gf}} Good point. Gross, but good point.
{Mots unleashes a wave of potato salad at Stom, who retaliates with a waffle gun}
{{sp}} Get wrecked by the waffle, taste the waffle.
(Several waffles fire out of the gun.)
Mots: Yuck, I'm allergic to wheat!
{Honstlar flies above Raltsnoh Alpha, falls down, and stomps on him from above}
{{hn}} Flight attack!
{Crd throws torches and pitchforks at Gfd from his mouth. It changes to a slow-motion shot as Gfd walks at normal speed and moves Crd in front of the torches and pitchforks.}
{{gf}} Super speed really pays off!
{E Hcaoc tries to punch Coach E, but she turns invisible and E Hcaoc misses. Coach E uses her invisibility to attack her from behind. 21XMRS tries to smash SRMX12 over the head with a primitive club, but SRMX12 disentegrates the club and electrocutes 21XMRS.}
{{sr}} Science powers!
{EDITED Video Greg uses his laser eyes on Gerg Oediv DETIDE. Stom grabs Mots and stretches his arm into space, trapping Mots in space. Rabite hurls Etibar into the distance. Dean levitates Naed into the sky. Homestar shapeshifts into a bug, flies on Ratsemoh's shoulder, and transforms back into himself and kicks Ratsemoh. Dooble blows up Elbood.}
{{hn}} Take that, bad guys! It seems you've forgotten we have superpowers.
{Cut to the HDOB, crumpled into a defeated pile}
RALTSNOH ALPHA: Oh no, you defeated us! ...I'm just kidding. It seems you've forgotten...
{The HDOB gets back up again and strike heroic poses}
RALTSNOH ALPHA: ...we have superpowers! Since we're your opposites and all.
{{gf}} Wait, I just realized, the opposite of having superpowers is NOT having superpowers!
(Brief silence.)
Crd: Curse you, Chuck Jones logic!!!
Raltsnoh: Well, we can still kill you!
Strong Badman: Not on my watch!
RALTSNOH ALPHA: Oh man. It's Strong Badman.
CRD: What do we do?
MOTS: RETREAT!
STRONG BADMAN: Not so fast, mere mortals...
21XMRS: WHAT YOU DO?!?
Strong Badman: I'll defeat you with my powers of... TOP BILLING!!!!
RALTSNOH ALPHA: He's right! He's more popular than all of us combined! We've never sold any comic books or starred in a multi-million-dollar movie. He'll defeat us in a most extreme manner!
{{hn}} Wow, we finally agree on something. 'S a first.
{Strong Badman starts punching lasers at them}
RALTSNOH ALPHA: My friends, there's—
CRD: We're not friends, remember? We're the opposite of the BODH.
RALTSNOH ALPHA: Oh right. My enemies, there's only one way to survive this. TO ASU YRTNUOC EERF!!
{{hn}} To what?
(The HDOB disappear.)
Strong Badman: DRAT! They got away!
{{sr}} Now we have to make sure Duplicato doesn't follow suit.
STRONG BADMAN: Leave this to me, my acquaintences.
{Strong Badman turns toward Duplicato and punches him into the sky}
{{hn}} Whoa, that was easier than it looked.
DUPLICATO: {offscreen} Of course it was. But you didn't really think it would be that easy, did you?
{Strong Badman turns toward Duplicato again, and punches him again}
DUPLICATO: {offscreen} Ah, Strong Badman... so predictable...
{Strong Badman turns toward an army of Duplicatos}
ALL DUPLICATOS: You'll never find out which one is me!
{{gf}} Well, only one course of action... PUNCH EVERYTHING IN SIGHT!!!!
{The Helmet Squad and Strong Badman charge at the Duplicatos}
{{hn}} {picks up a Duplicato and flies up, kicking him into the distance}
{{gf}} {speeds around attacking any Duplicato he can}
{{ce}} {constantly turns invisible and sneaks behind a Duplicato, then turns visible and punches him, then turns invisible again}
{{sr}} {shoots a flame thrower at the Duplicatos}
{{ev}} {shoots his eye lasers at the Duplicatos}
{Cut to a beaten, bruised pile of Duplicatos. All of them disappear except one.}
{{hn}} We've found him! Attack!
{{db}} (leaps towards Duplicato and explodes, causing him to rocket upwards.)
Strong Badman: (kicks Duplicato when he falls back down.) Ain't that a kick in the guts.
{{ev}} I see what you did there.
{{ev}} {fires a laser at Duplicato}
DUPLICATO: NOOO! {blows up}
{{hn}} Well, that's the last we'll be seeing of that guy. What do we do now?
Strong Badman: Now, we jog to Florida to stop the Aminal Mafia!
{{ev}} Don't you mean Animal?
Strong Badman: I meant what I said.
{{gf}} Let's go! {speeds off}
{Cut to Florida}
{{gf}} {out of breath} Phew. What's taking those guys so long?
{{ev}} Not all of us have super speed, ya know!
(Cut to an Indiana Jones map style.)
{{hn}} (Singing) Red line, red line, doo-doot-doo,
red line, red line, for me and you!
{Cut back to Florida. A red line hits Gfd in the face.}
{{gf}} Ow! Quit it, red line!
{Strong Badman and the Helmet Squad come out of the line}
{{gf}} Oh, it's you.
{{hn}} Now where are the Aminal Mafia?
{{sr}} Or should it be "where is"?
{{hn}} I don't care. I just want to know wheres be is the Aminal Mafia are being.
Strong Badman: You're serious, right? They've taken an entire chunk of Orlando and claimed it for their own!
{{ev}} What do they do again?
{{sr}} Apparently, they extract peoples memories and hold them for ransom.
{{hn}} Those sick monsters!
{{sr}} And the ones they don't want, they lock them up in a vault, never to be released... Or at least until they make the Diamond Edition of that memory.
{{gf}} That's terrible! Who could do such a thing?
{{sr}} I know, right? I honestly don't know how these people sleep at night...
{{gf}} No, I mean literally. Who could do such a thing? Who are we talking about? Who are you guys? Why are we here?
VOICE: {offscreen; quietly} The Mafia strikes again!
Strong Badman: I heard that, Don Michael!
(Pan to caricatures of Mickey Mouse, Pete, and Donald Duck)
Don Michael: Well looky here, we've got more idiots in underwear.
Duckm'n: {Hissing noises} DUCK HATE UNDIES!
{{sp}} Oh no! The Aminal Mafia are literal animals! And cartoon characters, at that! We're doomed!
{{gf}} The who?
Beet: We are the reason why you'll never see that movie about the big people!
Don Michael: And you're on our turf! Or land. Or world.
Duckm'n: DUCK CONFUSED WITH PROPERTY!!!
DON MICHAEL: We've got Gfd's memories of the Broternal Order of Different Helmets! {holds up a VHS tape} And you'll have to pay a hefty ransom to get 'ems back.
{{gf}} The What-ternal What-er of What-ferent What-ets?
{{hn}} You evil son of a gun, you'll never get away wit- Wait, is it the Black Diamond version or- What am I saying?!
Strong Badman: No dice, Mickey Mice! I mean mouse!
Don Michael: Then you leave me no choice... But to just stand here holding the tape.
(Cricket sounds.)
{{ev}} (Whispering) Hey, Speedo, you see that tape there?
{{gf}} Yeah?
{{ev}} That thing, it's made of-
(The tape instantly appears in Speedo's grasp.)
{{gf}} Say no more! (Eats the tape, causing his eyes to briefly show static.)
{{hn}} Did it work?
{{gf}} Did what work, BODH Leader?
{{sr}} Yup, it worked.
Duckm'n: DUCK WANT KILL!
{The Aminal Mafia charges toward the BODH with knives and weapons}
{{gf}} Hold on a second!
{Gfd runs quickly in a circle around the BODH, and the Aminal Mafia starts running extra slowly. Gfd stops.}
{{hn}} Gfd, what did you do?
{{gf}} I caught you guys in my circle of fastness! Now you guys are as fast as me, temporarily. Everything else seems slow to us.
{{ev}} Sweet. But why?
{{gf}} I needed to tell you my plan.
{{sr}} Well, what is it?
{{gf}} Step 1. We find out how they take memories. Step 2. We take all their memories. Step 3. Ice cream for everyone!
{{rb}} Also, they're running toward us with pointy and shooty things at this very moment.
{{gf}} Oh right. Also, Step 0. Walk to the left.
{The BODH walks to the left. Gfd goes back to normal speed, and the Aminal Mafia run toward where the BODH used to be and trip and fall on the ground}
BEET: I thought I saw 'em right here!
Duckm'n: DUCK HATE ILLUSION!!!!
{{gf}} So, anyone have any ideas on how to find out how they take away memories?
{{dn}} {raises her hand} I can read peoples' minds.
{{gf}} Oh right. You do that.
{{dn}} {reaches her hand out toward Don's brain and closes her eyes for a moment} There's a memory-stealing device in Beet's pocket.
{{gf}} All right. So, I'll get the device, then we'll—
DON MICHAEL: So, uh, Duckm'n, Beet, wanna go get sandwiches or something?
DUCKM'N: DUCK LIKE SAMMICH!!
{The Aminal Mafia leaves}
{{rb}} Well, rats. Now we can't get the device.
{Cut to a hotel in Florida}
{{gf}} This is a real Florida room. {rimshot}
{{hn}} We need a plan to stop these memory bandits.
{{hr}} Ooh! I'ms could shapeshift into one o' the aminals. Then I'll find Beet and ask for the memory machine!
{{hn}} That's good, that's good. But what if the aminal you're imitating is already there?
{{ev}} Maybe we could kill him beforehand.
{{hn}} Whoa whoa whoa! Too far! Let's just kidnap him or something.
{{ev}} 'Kay. Which one?
{{sp}} Wha' bou' the duck? He seems like the weakest.
{{ce}} And how do we do that?
{{gf}} I could do it. It's a tough job, though... it would take a few milliseconds, at least.
{{dn}} Good. But how do we find his house at night? Gfd can't go through every house in Florida.
{{sr}} I can scan for his location.
{{hn}} We got ourselves a plan!
{Honstlar puts blueprints down on a desk. The BODH crowds around the table as Honstlar draws on the blueprints with white chalk.}
{{hn}} Step 1. Wait until night. 2. SRMX12 scans for Duckm'n's location. 3. Gfd goes to his house and kidnaps him. 4. The next day, Homestar will turn into Duckm'n and ask Beet for the memory device. 5. Beet gives it to him. 6. Homestar steals Beet and Don's memories with it. 7. To jail with them. 8. Victory!
{{ev}} I thought the plan was to cut a hole in a box then-
{{hn}} No, that was last week's plan.
{{ev}} Oh right, I keep forgetting.
{The sky turns to night}
{{hn}} It's night, you guys!
{{ev}} Thyme to start our devious scheme!
{{sr}} {leaps into the air and scans the city} Duckm'n is sleeping in his house on 91st street. The blue house on the right.
{{gf}} Got it, Robonic!
{Gfd becomes blurry for a moment, and suddenly Duckm'n is in the room, tied to a chair with rope.}
{{gf}} We've caught 'im!
DUCKM'N: DUCK NO LIKE KIDNAP!
{{hn}} Well, Homestar, you know what you need to do.
{{hr}} You bet, little man! {shapeshifts into Duckm'n}
DUCKM'N: IMPOSTOR DUCK! DUCK HATE DUCK!
{{hr}} Sorry, man.
{The sky turns to day}
{{gf}} That was a short night.
{{hn}} The sun is up! You know what that means... time to get that memory device!
{Cut to Beet and Don Michael. Homestar (as Duckm'n) arrives.}
DON MICHAEL: Duckm'n! What's taking so long? We told you to meet us here at 8:00 sharp!
{{hr}} Oh, sorry, man. I didn't get the memo.
BEET: We've been reminding you every day for the last ten years!
{{hr}} Must've slipped my mind.
DON MICHAEL: And... what's wrong with your voice? You sound smarter today.
{{hr}} Sorry. Um... DUCK VOICE ALWAYS SOUND LIKE THIS!
DON MICHAEL: That's better. Now, come help us steal some memories.
{{hr}} Uh... DUCK WANT TO DO IT THIS TIME!
BEET: You did it last time!
{{hr}} DUCK REALLY WANT TO!!
BEET: {sigh} Fine, here you go. {tosses the memory-stealing machine to Homestar}
{{hr}} {turns back into Homestar} Thanks, bad guys!
DON MICHAEL: What the—?! Beet! What did you do? And where's Duckm'n?!
{{hr}} Oh yeah, we kidnapped him.
DON MICHAEL: WHAT?!
{{hr}} He was evil! And so are you, so I'm going to use this machine-type-thing. {looks at the machine}
DON MICHAEL: Ha. You don't even know how to use that thing, do you?
{{hr}} Um... I don't know. I've never used memory-stealing machines before. Is there, like, a button or something...?
BEET: There's that one on the side there...
{{hr}} This one?
DON MICHAEL: No, the blue one.
{{hr}} Ohhh, this one.
BEET: Yeah, that's it.
{{hr}} Hey, thanks! You guys are great. {presses the button and zaps the two guys}
DON MICHAEL: You're welcome! Uh... who am I, exactly?
{{hr}} That's easy, you're Mickey Mouse!
Don Michael: Oh right.
(Homestar turns his head towards Beet.)
{{hr}} And you're Pete the... Pete the... Lemme get back to you on that one.
Beet: How could I forget?!
{{hr}} And you two were just about to go to Pluto with Pluto!
Don Michael: Thanks for reminding us, armless guy!
(The two inexplicably rocket into space as Strong Badman and the rest of the Helmet Squad break-in.)
{{hn}} Sorry it took us so long, we had to deal with a couple of Disney lawyers off-screen. And by deal with, I mean beat the crap out of until their brains start coming out of their whimsyholes. 
Strong Badman: I see you dealt with the aminal problem.
{{hn}} We sure did!
{{hr}} More like I did. I did all the work, you know!
{{gf}} Really? You're not the one who ran 100 miles and back to kidnap a duck.
{{hn}} I came up with the plan, so basically I did everything.
{{gf}} Why, you—
STRONG BADMAN: Stop stop stop. Let's just go back home and watch TV or something.
{{ce}} That sounds great!
{A phone rings}
STRONG BADMAN: Oh, sorry, I gotta take this. {gets out his cell phone} Yes? Who? No. Yes? Oh. Never. What? Yes. Absolutely not. All right. Bye. {hangs up} Looks like the ol' Telebision will have to wait.
{{rb}} What happened?
STRONG BADMAN: We must face our third and final opponent... GRINDOLO.
{{hn}} Oh, that's easy. We've fought him dozens of times.
STRONG BADMAN: Have you ever won?
{Pause}
{{hn}} I'll get back to you on that.
STRONG BADMAN: This time will be far, far worse... Grindolo has gotten his hands on a Superium Orb.
{{hn}} This is bad.
{{gf}} This is awful.
{{sr}} This is horrific.
{{ev}} This is downright horrendous.
{{ce}} This is dreadfully gruesome!
{{sp}} This is unimaginably apocolyptic!!
{{hn}} Whoa whoa whoa, too far. I think "horrific" is the best term.
{{sr}} Thanks!
{{hn}} So, where is he?
STRONG BADMAN: He found the Superium Orb in the center of Mount Kilimaiawaki'amaui'uaki, an active volcano in Hawaii.
{{sr}} Wait, how is the Superium Orb there? It exploded!
STRONG BADMAN: You see, whenever a Superium Orb blows up, the remaining debris combines to form a new orb in a different location. So, there's always an orb somewhere.
{{gf}} Well, to Hawaii we go!
{Cut to a volcano}
{{gd}} Yesss... the Superium Orb. We have been searching a long time for this.
{{pr}} More like two days, but okay.
{{gd}} As soon as I touch it... I will be more powerful than before!
{{md}} Just do it already, you crazy kid.
{{gd}} I am not a kid. I am thousands of years old. And I'm building up dramatic suspense. So shut up.
{{cg}} Is the dramatic suspense finished yet?
{{gd}} No. Two more seconds. {pause} There we go. {touches the orb}
{pause}
{{gd}} Wait, what?
(Grindolo touches the orb again.)
{{gd}} Why isn't this working?!
{{cg}} Isn't it obvious? You're dead, there isn't anything organic that the orb can react to.
{{gd}} Oh, come on! I wanted to be the one to make it explode.
{{pr}} Here. I'll do it. {touches the orb} Hey... what happened?
{{cg}} Nothing happened, that's what happened.
{{gd}} Oh yeah... your body is robotic, so it doesn't work on you.
{{md}} Looks like my job. {touches the orb}
{A blue explosion happens, and Grindolo absorbs it}
{{md}} All right! Now I can shoot lasers and... uh... hey, where are my powers?
{{pr}} Hey, nothing happened to me either! Grindolo, tell us what's going on!
{{gd}} Yes, about that. You see, I absorbed 100% of the orb's power. Now I have every power the Helmet Squad has! Flight, speed, invisibility, all that.
{{cg}} What?! You got every power, and we got nothing?
{{gd}} You see, now I can defeat the Helmet Squad on my own, so... I don't really need you guys no more.
{{pr}} Come on, man!! We were supposed to get superpowers! It was part of the deal!
{{md}} Yeah, we want superpowers!
{{pr}} {{md}} {{cg}} Powers! Powers! Powers!
{{gd}} Fine. I'll give you guys powers.
{{pr}} Sweet! Do me first!
{{gd}} Pretender... your name is The Pretender, so... I'm going to give you the power of pretending things into existence.
{{pr}} Yes! That's awesome! I'm going to pretend I have a million dollars! {a pile of money appears around him} YES!!
{{gd}} Cleanser... you can cleanse anything. Which means, you can erase certain things from existence.
{{cg}} Awesome!
{{gd}} And Mr. Dando... oh man. Your name is just Mr. Dando. I've got no ideas.
{{pr}} Well... what does Dando sound like?
{{gd}} It sounds sort of like... dandelion? So... maybe you can control plants?
{{md}} Seriously? That's not very exciting. {makes a throne of leaves} Actually, this might be pretty cool.
{{pr}} Now we just need one last thing.
{{gd}} What is that, Pretender? We already have superpowers.
{{pr}} True. But we don't have superhero costumes and names! Here, I'll pretend some for you guys. {his suit gets a cooler upgrade and a metallic green headpiece that matches}
{Cut to The Pretender against a Xeriouxly Forxe-like green background, with his new name written at the side}
{{pr}} SUPER PRETENDO!
{Cut back to the scene}
{{pr}} What should your super name be, Dandym'n?
{{md}} Did you just call me Dan Demon?
{{pr}} No, no... I meant Dando-man, like, you know, Dand—
{{md}} ...Because I like the sound of that!
{Mr. Dando gets an ominous dark cloak with horns, with leafy vines growing from it. Cut to him against a red background.}
{{md}} DAN DEMON!
{{cg}} My turn!
{The Cleanser Geek is surrounded by soap, sponges, and towels, which combine to form a Scantron-like armor. Cut to her against a purple background.}
{{cg}} CLEANSOTRON!
{{gd}} And lastly... me!!
{Grindolo transforms into a bigger, scarier, more ghostly version of himself with a visible sharp mouth. Cut to him against a black background.}
{{gd}} DOLO SUPREME!!
{{cg}} Nice scare factor, boss.
{{pr}} Truly the new face of evil.
{{md}} I think I may need to change my cloak.
All: EWW.
{{gd}} Now, we shall find the Helmet Squad, and bring them to their DOOM once and for—
{{hn}} {offscreen} Not so fast, Grindolo!
{Pan to reveal the Helmet Squad has arrived}
{{gd}} Wait, you're here? That was quick. This saves us the trouble of travelling to you guys. So, thanks!
{{pr}} It's much more convenient to kill you right here.
{{gd}} By the way, I'm Dolo Supreme now.
{{gf}} Whatever.
{{rb}} Cool styles.
{{gd}} Thanks. Now, for my revenge...
(Dolo Supreme blasts balls of dark energy at the Helmet Squad.)
{{gf}} {uses his super speed to move the Helmet Squad out of the way}
{{ce}} {turns invisible and sneaks up behind Super Pretendo, then turns visible and punches him} Hi-ya! Ow...
{{pr}} Ha, my robot armor is too tough too punch! {pretends Coach E into a cage}
{{rb}} {breaks the cage open and frees Coach E}
{{db}} {runs up to Super Pretendo} Ka-blooj! {explodes}
{{pr}} Augh, you put a dent in my suit! Now I can't walk properly.
{{cg}} Here, let me cleanse that for you. {the dent is gone}
{{md}} {traps Honstlar in vines}
{{hn}} {muffled} Help!
{{hr}} I gots it! {Becomes a fire Homestar, and runs towards the vines.} HOMESTAAAAAAAAAAAAAAR RUNNNNNNNNERRRRRR!!
{{hr}} {burninates the vines} You're free!
{{hn}} No, I'm not! Ow! You just set me on fire!!
{{hr}} Oops.
{{sr}} {uses his water shooter arm to shoot water at Honstlar}
{{hn}} Thanks, Robonic. How do we beat these guys?
{{hr}} Ooh, I know! I'll morph into a whisk and-
{{hn}} Not that kinda beat!
{{sr}} {fires lasers at Super Pretendo's suit}
{{pr}} Ow!
{{db}} I'll keep doing this! {goes up to Super Pretendo and explodes repeatedly}
{{pr}} STOP, YOU GUYS!
{{sp}} NEVER!!
{{pr}} Then you leave me no choice! {shoots his arm out at Stom, crushing him}
{{hn}} Stom! No!
{{db}} You'll pay for beans! {explodes even more}
{{pr}} You're totally destroying my robody!
{Cleansotron starts floating}
{{gd}} Whoa, Cleanser. What are you doing? I didn't give you the power to float.
{{cg}} I'm not doing this!!
{Cleansotron smashes to the ground, then floats back up, repeatedly}
{{cg}} OW! Ow! OW!
{{dn}} {turns to the Helmet Squad} You're welcome.
{{md}} Ha! You crazy kids may have beaten up those two, but you'll never get me!!
{{hr}} Nice try, Dan Demon! {turns to fire again and runs toward Mr. Dando}
{{md}} {creates a Venus Flytrap that devours Homestar}
{{hn}} Oh no! First Stom, now Homestar?! This is getting serious!
{{cg}} You don't know how serious it is. {shoots Dean with a laser, blowing her up}
{{ev}} No! Dean!
{{cg}} And now, I shall cleanse the damage of my robo-suit! {her suit becomes less damaged and returns to normal}
{{ce}} It's getting impossible to stop these guys!
{{rb}} Or is it? {grabs Super Pretendo and Cleansotron by the feet and swings them around, crashing them into each other}
{{cg}} Ow!
{{pr}} Hey! Jeez!
{{cg}} It's fine. I can just cleanse the injuries... {the suit is restored to normal}
{{pr}} Yeah, good idea. And I will pretend an anvil.
{An anvil appears over Rabite's head and crushes her}
{{db}} You schemes! You shall have no chance! {explodes The Pretender's suit repeatedly}
{{pr}} And now, I'll pretend a force field.
{A force field appears around Dooble, and he keeps exploding until he explodes himself}
{{gf}} Nooo! My ambiguous relative!
{{hn}} Strong Badman, do something!!
STRONG BADMAN: Oh. Right. I forgot I was here. Well, then, evil monsters... how do you feel about... RADIOACTIVE GOO?!
{Goo blasts out from Strong Badman's gloves at the three minions. Dan Demon protects himself with a leaf shield, Super Pretendo pretends a shield for himself. It starts to disintegrate Cleansotron's suit, but she cleanses the goo out of existence, along with the damage to her suit.}
{{md}} Is that the best you can do?
STRONG BADMAN: LIGHTNING!!
{Lightning comes down from the 'bove, zapping the three minions. Super Pretendo pretends a lightning conductor, so the lightning stops hitting them. Cleansotron picks up the conductor and tries to stab Strong Badman, but he protects himself with a force field. She cleans away his force field and tries to stab him again, but he dodges. Dan Demon wraps him in vines, trapping him.}
{{cg}} Thanks, Dando. Should I kill him now?
{{gd}} {whispering} No. The Helmet Squad will find a way to free him, which will be an excellent distraction.
{{sp}} Don't worry, Badm'n, we'll save you!
{{pr}} This'll be too easy.
{{gf}} Eyebolt! Use your cool eyes to cut through those vines!
{{ev}} I can't! It'll slice through Strong Badman!
{{ce}} Gfd, can you untie him?
{{gf}} I can try.
{Gfd blurs around the vines, then stops, exhausted}
{{gf}} {panting} I... couldn't do it... these vines are too strong.
STRONG BADMAN: And tight! Hurry up over here!
{{ev}} Wait, I have an idea.
(Greg cuts the stem of the flytrap containing Homestar with his eyes, releasing him.)
{{hr}} So, what did I miss?
{{ev}} Strong Badman is trapped in some vines and-
{{hr}} Say no more.
{Homestar turns into a large, gray, technological box}
{{ev}} Whoa, Homestar, what are you doing?
{{hr}} I am be'sing an ultra-precise laser-cutting device!
{A laser comes out of the device, cutting the vines and freeing Strong Badman}
STRONG BADMAN: I'm free! Now, for my revenge on these villainous fools...
{{gd}} Yes, thank you, Strong Badman. You've made an excellent distraction.
STRONG BADMAN: I did what now?
{Strong Badman turns around, revealing Super Pretendo has sneaked up behind him. He shoots lasers at everyone, but they all dodge... except EDITED Video Greg, who explodes.}
{{hn}} Greg!
{{hr}} Wait, what happened? I don't have eyes. {turns back into himself}
{{hn}} Eyebolt just died!
{{hr}} Oh, noes!
{{hn}} And everyone else is gonna follow suit unless we find a way out of here!
{{gf}} You just killed Greg! You'll pay for that, Pretendo.
{{pr}} That's SUPER Pretendo to you, chump.
{{ce}} Guys, I have a plan. {turns invisible and sneaks up behind Dolo Supreme}
{{gd}} You know I can see you, right? I'm far too powerful to be beaten. {crushes Coach E}
{{hr}} I can do it! I can do it nine times!! {turns into Dolo Supreme}
{{gd}} What are you doing? Are you... impersonating me?!
{{hr}} You know it! Now I'm as powerful as you!
{{gd}} Yeah, except no. {punches Homestar/Dolo Supreme into pieces} You're not.
{{sr}} What's hHappening to_me? {sparks come out of him} I f—feel ggGGg glitch—glitch—glitchyyy404 {explodes}
{{gf}} AAAHHH! SRMX12! You just exploded!
{{pr}} Sorry, that was me. Since we're both half-robot, I decided to overload his electrical circuits.
{{hn}} See what I mean? Everyone's following suit!
{{gd}} I've been waiting for this moment for the longest time. DIE, WADDLER!
(Dolo Supreme grabs Honstlar... and rips him in half.)
{{gf}} NOO!!!
(Gfd speeds towards Honstlar.)
{{gf}} Cuz, speak to me! You must have something up your sleeve!
{{hn}} (Weakly) No. For once, I've got nothing.
{{gf}} There has to be a way to stop him!
{{hn}} It's no use, Grindolo finally won, I...
(Pause.)
{{gf}} Honstlar? HONSTLAR!!!!!!!!!
(Cut to an image of The Cheat eating a potato.)
Voice: The producers of this series would like to apologize for the sudden dark turn, and to lighten up the mood, here's a cute picture of The Cheat. We now return you to the BODH.
(Cut back to Gfd.)
{{gf}} You'll pay for this.
(Gfd dashes away from the scene.)
{{cg}} He's getting away!
{{gd}} Don't worry, he won't get that far.
GRINDOLO: He won't get far at all.
{Grindolo zaps Gfd into bits}
GRINDOLO: Well, we won. We finally did it. Three cheers!
{The minions mumble unenthusiastically}
GRINDOLO: Now, let's go back to my place for some chicken wings. On the house!
Strong Badman: You sick monster, you won't get away with this!!
Grindolo: Oh, yes I will! Now that those wretched helmets have been eliminated, There won't be anyone to stop me from taking over the world!
Strong Badman: And I guess you'll kill me too, right?
Grindolo: Wrong! I'm going to keep you alive so I can make you my slave.
{Dolo Supreme shoots energy at Strong Badman. Strong Badman turns dark purple with yellow eyes, and kneels before Dolo Supreme.}
STRONG BADMAN: I am at your service... my master.
{{gd}} Excellent. Now, Strong Bandolo, you will help me rule over the world, and—
VOICE: Not so faaast!
{{gd}} Who said that?!?!
{Arsene Video Greg walks in}
{{av}} Don't forget, I'm in the Helmet Squad too.
{{pr}} So wait, why weren't you in the rest of the episode?
{{av}} 'Cause I didn't become a B-Team member until the end of an earlier episode, and that part wasn't written until a couple weeks ago.
{{cg}}  Continuity errors are the worst.
{{gd}} You can't destroy us, Arsene. You don't even have superpowers.
{{av}}  Oh yeah?
{Cut to a flashback of Arsene watching TV in the Pillquarters}
{{av}}  That's the wrong answer! This game show is the worst.
{An explosion destroys the Pillquarters}
{{av}}  Whoa! What was that? And why do I feel so powerful?
{Cut back to the volcano}
{{gd}}  Whether you have superpowers or not is irrelevant. Because you can't destroy us.
{{av}}  I know. I'm not trying to destroy you. ...I'm trying to help them.
{{md}}  What now?
{Arsene floats up, as the scene rewinds to the point where every Helmet Squad member is alive}
{{hn}}  Not so fast, Grindolo!
{{gd}}  What?! How is this possible?
{{av}}  Time travel powers from the Superium Orb, of course.
{{av}} Call me ThymeMaster. {a superhero costume appears on him}
{{gd}} No matter. I destroyed you all before. I'll simply destroy you again!
{{hn}} Sorry, Dolo. Arsene will just keep bringing us back. Again and again. Forever. Until we defeat you.
{{sr}} There's no way for you to win. We'll just keep repeating the same moment.
{{db}} And sandwiches!
{{gd}} Well, if that's the way you're going to do it... then I'll kill Arsene first! {crushes Arsene with his fist}
{The scene rewinds slightly, so that Arsene is alive}
{{av}} Dolo Supreme, we've come to bargain.
{{gf}} And, uh, and destroy you.
{{dn}} We told you that you can't win.
{{gd}} NOOOO!!
{{pr}} Dolo? I have an idea...
{{gd}} Hey, go for it.
{{pr}} Since I have the power to pretend things into being... I'll pretend your past enemies: DUPLICATO and THE AMINAL MAFIA!!
{Duplicato and the Aminal Mafia poof into the volcano}
DUPLICATO: Whoa, I'm alive again. Where am I? Who is everyone?
DUCKM'N: DUCK NOT LIKE LAVA!
{{hn}} Aw man. We already fought these guys! This story's getting too repetitive.
{{gf}} Don't you worry a bit, Honstles. I have a plan...
{Gfd becomes blurry for a moment, then reappears, exhausted}
{{gf}} I... {gasp} I just ran around the world... {wheeze} fifty times.
{{hn}} Why?!
{{gf}} To find this! {pulls out another Superium Orb}
{{sr}} Whoa! We're going to get DOUBLE superpowers?
{{gf}} I guess we'll see. Oh and Homestar... can you transform into a wall? I don't want Dolo or his goons getting any more powerful.
{{hr}} You betcha! {transforms into a wall between the good guys and bad guys}
{{gf}} 3! 2! 1! {touches the Superium Orb}
{There is a large explosion. When the dust clears, the Helmet Squad has turned into their comic book-style, muscular Strong Badman counterparts.}
STRONG BADMAN: {muffled; offscreen} Hey, guys! {breaks through the wall from the other side}
{{hr}} Ow.
STRONG BADMAN: You left me on the side with the bad guys!!
{{hr}} {turns back into Strong Badman-style Homestar} Whoops. Sorry.
STRONG BADMAN: And... hey, how did you guys get so cool-looking all of a sudden?
{{ev}} We found another Superium Orb! Our powers have doubled!
STRONG BADMAN: Aw man. Wish I could've been there. {glares at Homestar}
{{db}} I have the slightest pants!
{{hr}} Sorry I left you outside. You'll get double superpowers another time.
{{sr}} Well, let's defeat those evildoers!
{{gd}} Oh, it's on!
DON MICHAEL: We'll beat you this time!
DUPLICATO: DUPLICATE!
{{hn}} CHARGE!
{Both sides charge at each other in slow motion}
{{gf}} (Slowly) I NEEEED TOOO TIIIINKLEE!!!
{The speed returns to normal. Everyone starts fighting each other.}
{{hn}} We're in the middle of a giant battle, Gfd! Wait just a few minutes!
{{ev}} EYEBEAM!
{{gd}} DARK MATTER ENERGY BURST!
{{sr}} LASER BLAST!
{{md}} PLANT SHIELD!
{{db}} SPLOSCHE!
{{rb}} {exhausted} Even with two Superium Orbs, we're still no match. They're too powerful. We need a new strategy.
STRONG BADMAN: I think I have a plan...
STRONG BADMAN: Speedo!
{{gf}} Yeah?
STRONG BADMAN: Speed around the world again. I need two more Superium Orbs.
{{ev}} TWO MORE?! We already have double superpowers! And why are there so many of these things all of a sudden?
{{rb}} So wait, are we going to get quadruple superpowers?!
STRONG BADMAN: Not quite. Now go!
{Gfd speeds off and comes back with two orbs}
{{gf}} {gasp} I'm never {wheeze} running around the {cough} world four million {huff} seven thousand two hundred fifty {puff} six times ever again.
{{sp}}  Do we touch the orbs now?
STRONG BADMAN: No. Not yet. We don't want more superpowers.
{{rb}} Oh, come on!
{{db}} Now what we does, cake mix?!
STRONG BADMAN: I need a volunteer.
{{gf}} Ooh! Ooh! Pick me! Pick me!
STRONG BADMAN: Yeah, sure, you. I need you to be bait.
{{gf}} Wait, what?! Like for fishing? Are we going fishing?!
STRONG BADMAN: No, bait for Duplicato. We need to get him to shoot at you.
{{gf}} WHAT?!
STRONG BADMAN: Just stand here... {whispers to Gfd}
{{gf}} I have a less than sufficient feeling about this. {loudly} Hey, Duplicato! I surrender!
DUPLICATO: Oh, good. So you mean you'll stop fighting us?
{{gf}}  Yep. Just one thing... remember how you made the reverse us? The HDOB?
DUPLICATO: Er, yes, I do remember that. Why?
{{gf}} You should do that same thing, and turn me into a reverse version of myself. If I can't win this battle, I might as well be a bad guy so I can join the winning side.
DUPLICATO: Sure, why not. {shoots Gfd}
{Gfd speeds out of the way and puts the two Superium Orbs in its place. The shot reverses them into Anti-Superium Orbs.}
{{gf}} Phew. I did it, Badm'n. Now we have two spheres of not-superpowers. What do we do now?
STRONG BADMAN: Now, we use them.
{{gf}} But that will just erase our superpowers!
STRONG BADMAN: That's okay. We have double superpowers, remember? The two Superium Orbs and the two Anti-Superium Orbs will just cancel each other out, turning us back to normal.
{{rb}} What about the Grindolos?
STRONG BADMAN: They've only used one Superium Orb, so the two anti-ones will turn them into much weaker versions of their normal selves.
{{sp}} So... our powers will be gone, but they'll be even weaker than normal? That's a pretty good plan.
STRONG BADMAN: Exactly. Activate the orbs!
{Honstlar touches the orbs with his foot, causing an explosion in the volcano. When the dust clears, the BODH are no longer wearing their superhero suits, Strong Badman has turned into Strong Bad, Duplicato and the Aminal Mafia have vanished, and Grindolo's team looks much simpler and less threatening.}
{{md}} Hey, what happened?
{{gd}} My magic! It's... it's gone!
{{pr}} My robo-body can't even shoot lasers!
{{sb}} That's right, you losers. {to the BODH} Now we attack!
{{pr}} Oh no, you don't, chumps! We may be weaker than you, but... hey, wait. We're weaker than you.
{{md}} I don't think fighting them is the best idea right now.
{{gd}} Good point. Retreat!
{Grindolo and his minions leave}
{{gf}} Well, that was a complicated and orbful ending. Now let's all go home and eat some pies!
{{ev}} Hey, wait a minute. The Pillquarters was blown up by the Superium Orb. How can we eat pie there if it's a smoldering pile?
{{hn}} It's fine. I'm sure the writers will find some way to fix it by the next episode.
{{gf}} Oh, did I forget to mention? I used my fast powers repair the Pillquarters while you guys were blinking. Back when we were fighting Grindolo.
{{rb}} Now how bou' that pie?
All: HOORAY FOR PIE!
END.

==Easter Eggs==
Click on the D to see an ominously foreshadowing Easter egg.

{Cut to the center of a dark swirling vortex. Red lightning flashes occasionally in the background, and the floor is spiky. A dark ghostly figure with red eyes approaches a throne that faces away from the camera.}
GHOSTLY FIGURE: Supreme master...
SUPREME MASTER: What is it, minion 7,256?
MINION 7,256: We've picked up some corruption in the space-time continuum.
SUPREME MASTER: Odd. What location?
MINION 7,256: Planet X3-58-7A, locally known as "Earth". Located in the northwest region of universal quadrant 3.
SUPREME MASTER: Tell me more.
MINION 7,256: We've done some research. The cause was a fellow by the name of Manfred Cerebus Reinhardt, commonly referred to as Arsene Video Greg. He had time-manipulation powers granted to him by a Superium Orb. We've detected multiple other instances of time manipulation in the last couple years, all of which come from this same planet.
SUPREME MASTER: I've never detected such frequent occurences before. Please elaborate.
MINION 7,256: In 2017, a dumb animal character named Honstlar Waddler and his friends used a remote control to rewind time and get some gold hat thing. Sometimes, they use a video game device in a kitchen appliance to transport to other time periods. And last year, they used a pixelated cardboard box to return to the present.
SUPREME MASTER: Impossible. Very few civilizations have the means necessary to manipulate time. I suspect he might have something to do with this...
MINION 7,256: Who is "he", master?
SUPREME MASTER: You will find out. In due time. But if what I suspect is true...
{Cut to a close-up of his face, silhouetted. He looks up at the camera, revealing a pair of glowing red eyes.}
SUPREME MASTER: ...Earth's destruction is imminent.
{Smash cut to black}