Broternal Order Of Different Helmets/Dangeresque 4

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(We open on a shot of all the citizens of Free Country, USA inside Strong Bad's basement like in Somber Vacation and Dangeresque 3)
Template:gf I've been waiting for this moment for years, me on the big screen!
Template:ev But you've already been in a-
Template:gf Shut up.
Template:hn I just hope that Strong Bad didn't abuse the budget I gave him.
All: He has a budget?!?!
(Strong Bad walks in.)
Template:sb Greetings, people who aren't me, are you ready for the film experience of your life?
Template:cg I think not. We've recently gotten some feedback that the action movie genre is a cheap cliche turned into a walking punchline wrapped inside a laughingstock. We will only greenlight the product if you make it a lol random cartoon entitled Dangeresque Jump.
Template:hn Excuse me for a moment.
(Honstlar kicks TCG out of the basement.)
Template:hn Proceed, continue.
Template:sb Ladies and gentlemen, feast your beady, Flashimated eyes on... DANGERESQUE 4!
(The Cheat walks over and puts in a laserdisc as music starts playing.)
Template:sb Greetings, 20 dollar havers. In order to set ourselves apart from the rest of filmmakers, we have taken it upon ourselves to properly credit everyone involved. We begin with our caterers, Bubs' MSG and Gluten Place...
Template:gf Wait a minute, how does this set you apart from other filmmakers? Doesn't every film have credits?
Template:sb Yes, but no other film has motivational credits! Shout outs to my editor, The Cheat!
Template:tc (The Cheat noises)
Template:sb And to my director... me! And my screenwriter... me! And my lead actor... me! And my distributor... Bubs! And my financier... purple Homsar! And my executive producer... me! And my inspiration... me! And my cool-guy-all-the-time... me!
Template:gf Hooray for me! {claps} What a wonderful man.
Template:sb Now that we've got that mess outta the way, lemme introduce you to my next #1 blockbuster of the millennium, Dangeresque 4! Divided by 2. Equals 6. Ha-bring it on!
(We open on a shot of the Brainblow National Bank as Dange-Car-Esque arrives.)
Template:sb  I just parked that!
Template:cz  Yes, you did.
Template:hn (Off-screen) THIS IS A STICKUP!! HAND OVER THE DIAMOND!!
(Cut to the interior where we see the No-Armed Bandit holding an NES Zapper painted dark blue.)
Banker: But, we don't have the-
Banker: Okay, okay, it's in the safe!
Template:hn  Oh, you think you're so smart, do ya. WELL, DO YA!?!?!
Banker: But it is in the safe!!
Template:hn  Highly doubtful.
Banker: I shouldn't be telling you this...
Template:hn  What are ya gonna do, call the police?
(Dangeresque and Renaldo enter.)
Template:sb  Try the crooked police!!
Template:hn  Dangeresque?!?!
Template:sb Hand over the diamond, No-Arms... or you're going to have to take a nunchuck gun to the face.
Template:hn So be it, Dangeresque. When I leave here with this priceless artifact... my reward will be well worth it
Template:sb Don't be so sure about that. {takes out his nunchuck gun}
{Dangeresque Too comes in}
[[hsr:{{{1}}}|{{{2}}}]] The pipes are being replaced!!
No-Armed Bandit: Well, if it isn't the other Dangeresque...
Dangeresque Too: That's Dangeresque Too? to you!
No-Armed Bandit: Whatever, mayo-face.
Renaldo: I'm here too.
No-Armed Bandit: 3 against 1, can't say I like the odds, but I'll give it a try anyway.
(Dangeresque fires a bullet at the bandit, which he dodges by ducking.)
Template:hn So, 'geresque, you like diamonds, huh? Well, how 'bout a diamond TO THE FACE?
{The No-Armed Bandit leaps at Dangeresque, with the diamond pointing towards him, but Dangeresque swings his nunchuck and hits The No-Armed Bandit in the face.}
Template:hn Ow, my smellspot!! Now you've done it!
(The No-Armed Bandit pulls out his Zapper and is prepared to fire.)
{He fires. The ray is reflected off of Dangeresque's cool, cool glasses, and hits the No-Armed Bandit, who falls down charred and unconscious.}
Template:sb Seven-syllable catch phrase! {sting}
(Cut to the No-Armed Bandit getting thrown into the trunk, then thrown into Brainblow Prison.)
No-Armed Bandit: Ow, my charred porgadon!
(Cut to the inside of Dange-Car-Esque.)
Renaldo: Well, Dangeresque, we've taken care of the No-Armed Bandit.
Dangeresque: Or did we?
Dangeresque Too: I don't know... Can we stop for tacos?
(Cut to the opening credits, which are similar to the ones from Dangeresque 3. (The game, not the film itself))




{The logo from sbemail206 appears}


÷ 2

= 6

























{Cut to a dark, smoky city with graffiti and broken windows}
DANGERESQUE: {voiceover} Brainblow City. Also known as CrimeFest '91. The crime rates are through the roof. Kidnappings and bank robbings left and right.
{Cut to a familiar pair of sunglasses on a table}
DANGERESQUE: {voiceover} But it's okay, because it can all be stopped by a pair of cool, cool glasses.
{The sunglasses are picked up by a boxing glove. Cut to a silhouetted figure jumping on buildings.}
DANGERESQUE: {voiceover} That's where I come in. In a town dominated by bad guys, one man can stop it all. And that man is...
{Zoom in to Dangeresque, unsilhouetted}
DANGERESQUE: Dangeresque!
Dangeresque: But despite what I just said, I'm never alone.
(Cut to Renaldo playing with a paddle-ball.)
Dangeresque: I've got Renaldo, a semi-retired turban guy who I recently saved from the now sunken Sidekick Islands...
(Pan to Dangeresque Too? filing the recent case.)
Dangeresque: A spin-kicking rookie with the same name as me, who we affectionately call Dangeresque Too?..
(Pan to Cutesy Buttons drinking some iced tea near the window.)
Dangeresque: And my girlfriend or whatever, the lovely Cutesy Buttons.
{Cut to Dangergsgxgzgdrc Johnson in Perducci's headquarters}
DANGERESQUE: {voiceover} There's also Dangergsgz— Dange— uh, Dangegarble Johnson. He's our local double agent. He pretends to be one of Perducci's minions, spying on him and giving us information. Or... maybe he's spying on us and giving Perducci information. We're not really sure. We need to be extra careful what we say around that guy.
(Cut to Experimento working on some computer thing.)
Dangeresque: As well as Professor Experimento, scientifical genius, and mad inventor...
(Cut to The Chief, who resembles a grizzled, balding Billy Mays.)
Dangeresque: And The Chief... I've got nothing to say, he's just The Chief.
(Fade to various shots of things that Dangeresque has collected during his previous adventures, including Uzi Bazooka's metallic carcass, the tapes, a sample of the serum, an empty Ressy Cup milkshake, and the robotic Santam'n.)
Dangeresque: Throughout my career of being a Private Eye/Crooked Cop/Secret Agent/Enron Stockholder, I have amassed many quote-on-quote, trophies. But nothing will ever fill the father shaped hole in my heart.
(Cut to a black and white flashback of Dadgeresque's death scene from Dangeresque 3.)
Uzi Bazooka: Give me the formula and I'll give you this computer disk of highly important rocket launch codes!
Renaldo: Hey! Professor Experimento's launch codes! We need those!
Dangeresque: No dice, traitor Joe!
Uzi Bazooka: Oh yeah, well what if I ...shoot your dad?
(Uzi pulls out a blue gun and fires it at Dadgeresque.)
Dangeresque: NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!
Template:sb {voiceover} It was a fate... that never should have befallen upon a being of this Earth.
(Fade back to Dangeresque checking his e-mail.)
Dangeresque: It's been 10 years since I kicked that tiny cheetah looking thing into the vacuum of space, destroyed a robot with a really cool name, and accidentally left Renaldo to die on that exploding space station near the sun...
(Brief silence.)
Dangeresque: He got better!
Template:sb {voiceover} With the No-Armed Bandit caught and in jail, I can finally concentrate on my Dangeresquemail-checkins.
Template:sb {typing in "dangeresquemail.exe"; no longer voiceover} Looks like I'm gonna have to check! My email.
Template:sb (Reading) Dear Dangeresque, what would you do if you were trapped in a room surrounded by WWII German soldiers armed only with a wooden plank and a mongoose?
Genghis Kong,
Berwyn, Illinois.
Template:sb Well, Genghis, first off, I would take the wooden plank and smash it over the soldiers' heads, and get the mongoose to eat the remains, so I won't get arrested. I'd then dig myself out of the room with my face. Because that's totally a thing I can do.
Template:sb Then I'd use Dange-Car-Esque's voice commands to get me the heck outta Auschwitz! So, yeah, I'd survive WWII (pronounced dubya-wee) easily.
(Dangeresque closes the laptop.)
Template:sb Did the Professor send us any updates on Project: Xerox?
Template:mz Not yet.
Template:cz Can someone remind me what Project: Zorro is?
Template:sb This is confidential information, Renaldo. I can't tell you here, you never know who might be listening.
Template:cz Marzi— Cutesy Buttons knows what you're talkin' abrat. And she's not even your pratner!
Template:sb Good point. Despite my cat-like reflexes, inhuman strength, and muscular tolerance to all variety of bullets, it is almost certain that I will die someday. So Cutesy and I decided to clone me! Dangeresque 2 can serve as a business partner— sorry, Renaldo —and take up the crime-fighting, law-fighting torch when I'm old and decrepit! Two Dangeresques is better than one, after all.
[[hsr:{{{1}}}|{{{2}}}]] But what about me, aren't I your Dangeresque 2?
Template:sb No, you're my Dangeresque Too?.
[[hsr:{{{1}}}|{{{2}}}]] I don't understand that.
Template:sb I'll explain later.
(Stomach rumbling is heard.)
Template:gf Excuse me, I need to go pee-pee.
(Johnson walks out of the room.)
Template:sb So anyway, Experimento is working on a cloning machine that will make what I just said possible.
Template:cz Ooh, science.
(Cut to Johnson walking out of the bathroom.)
Template:gf That was refreshing. Now, where was I? Oh, yeah, the info!
(Johnson pulls out a high-tech communicator)
Template:gf Johnson to Izzy, come in Izzy.
(Cut to Izu Zabooka (a.k.a. Dangeresque Homeschool) talking to Johnson on a large video screen.)
Izu Zabooka: Loud and clear, Johnson.
Template:gf Just found out that Dangeresque is planning to clone himself and make his clone a crooked cop associate. I'll see if I can find out more. Maybe you can hijack the operation.
Izu: I'll do it, just as soon as I get my associate out of the pokey.
Template:gf Excellent.
Izu: I also have a special mission for you.
Template:gf Tell me more...
(Cut to Dangeresque in The Chief's office.)
Template:sb Me and the smart lady have done research on the subject. The science is sound.
Template:sb I'm on it, Chief. Time to save that fast train from the living nightmare that is PERDUCCI!!!!
[[hsr:{{{1}}}|{{{2}}}]] Ooh! Ooh! Can I be's theres?
Template:sb Sigh... come along, Too.
{Cut to a monorail}
(We see Killingyouguy holding a gun and Perducci holding a remote with a big, red button)
Killingyouguy: NOBODY MOVE!!!
Perducci: I shall say this one more time... If they don't give me my ransom money, ALL OF YOU DIE!!!
(Dangeresque and Dangeresque Too? enter through a window.)
Dangeresque: Not on my watch!
Perducci: Dangeresque!
{Dangeresque leaps up with his nunchuck gun and smacks Perducci in the face with it. Perducci retaliates by kicking Dangeresque in the legs, knocking him down. Dangeresque Too grabs the nunchuck gun from Dangeresque's hand and points it at Perducci, but Killingyouguy takes it. Dangeresque stands back up and leaps off Dangeresque Too's head, hitting Killingyouguy in the face with his shoes, sending him stumbling backwards.}
Template:sb I still don't get how you managed to kick me down, Perducci. Do you even have legs?
Perducci: That's not important, what is important is that I'm going to kill everyone on this train!
Template:sb Wouldn't that kill you too?
Template:kot No, it's... I... j— the thing is... that, well— you... GOODBYE DANGERESQUE! {leaps off the train into a helicopter}
{Cut to a close-up of the remote as he pushes down the button}
Perducci: Huh?
(Peducci presses the button repeatedly.)
Perducci: I thought I told you to hook up the explosives!
Killingyouguy: I DID!
Perducci: But the train isn't-
(Brief silence.)
Perducci: Oh, cr-
(The helicopter explodes)
Template:sb JUSTICE!! By Dangeresque! {musical sting}
[[hsr:{{{1}}}|{{{2}}}]] Not really, Perducci did that himse—
Template:sb {covering Dangeresque Too's face} Cool, cool glasses! {musical sting}
(Cut to the outside of Brainblow Prison, where we see Izu planting C4 near the wall)
Izu: Don't worry boss, you'll be out of here in no time!
(The wall explodes.)
Template:bb I'm free! Free to wreak havoc amongst the world!! Along with my sidekick...
{Cut to a dramatic zoom-in shot of Onion Bubs, with sunglasses drawn on him}
Diamonocle: Dr. Layers!
(The No-Armed Bandit runs past Diamonocle.)
No-Armed Bandit: Out of my way, Dumbo!
Diamonocle: Dumbo?
(Cut to the inside of Izu's lair.)
Izu: Glad to have you back, boss!
Template:bb Thanks, foreign-soundin'-name! Now, what kinda evil schemes are we cookin' up today?
Izu: That's the thing, I was just humoring you.
Diamonocle: What do you mean by that?
Izu: Simple, YOU'RE FIRED!
Diamonocle: WHAT?!
Izu: You betrayed us a decade ago, did you really think we would forget?
Diamonocle: Yes?
Izu: We've replaced you with someone better.
No-Armed Bandit: I'm that person!
Diamonocle: But he's just a thief, he can't be a supervillain!
No-Armed Bandit: I beg to differ... KILL THE INTRUDER!!!
Template:bb Oh man! You really are a supervillain! This does not look good for the Baron Darin Diamonocle!
{Izu Zabooka chases Baron as he runs off}
Template:hn And we'll keep your little sidekick... for ourselves.
{The No-Armed Bandit picks up Dr. Layers and places him on the side of his supervillain chair}
Template:hn At last we will have revenge on that crooked cop and his crooked cop friends.
{Cut to Professor Experimento's lab, where there's a big machine}
Template:sb Is Project Xerox ready yet, Professor? I wanna get in on that twice-style action!
Experimento: Almost done, I still have to configure the mental programmer.*
Dangeresque: But everything else is finished?
Experimento: Precisely, Dan.
Dangeresque: (whispering) What did I say about saying my real name?!
Experimento: Sorry, at this age you forget a lot of things, like whether or not that chick over there a 6 or an 8.
Dangeresque: Can we focus on the machine?
Experimento: Oh yeah, the DNA fabricator has been calibrated, the CPU is up and running, and the regulator ray is fully functional.
Template:sb Then let's get this duplication party started!
Template:pp (Don't you want Dangeresque Too to join you?)
Template:sb Naw, man. That guy's not cool enough to be cloned. He might as well—
[[hsr:{{{1}}}|{{{2}}}]] {strolling in} So, I hear you're getting cloned, huh? That mess sounds awesome! I'ma do that.
Dangeresque: NO, YOU WILL NOT!!
Dangeresque Too?: Why won't you let me do anything anymore?!
Dangeresque: You're too inexperienced to even finish a spin kick without breaking your tailbone!
[[hsr:{{{1}}}|{{{2}}}]] Hey, I only broke my tailbone once! Except for that other time. And the other four. But still!
Template:sb Trust me, Too, the world needs more Dangeresques. It does not need more Dangeresque Toos.
(Dangeresque Too cries a little.)
Dangeresque: Now, get back to the car before you cause any damage to the machine.
(Dangeresque Too walks away.)
Experimento: That was kinda harsh.
Dangeresque: Of course it was, harshness builds character.
(The lab window breaks and a bunch of burglars rush in.)
BURGLAR #1: FREEZE, Dangeresque! {pronounced Dan-GEHR-esqueh}
Template:sb It's Dangeresque. Who this is?
BURGLAR #2: We're the Armed Bandits! Because we're armed. With weapons and whatnot.
BURGLAR #3: We work for the best supervillain in town. The No-Armed Bandit!
Template:sb The No-Armed Bandit isn't a supervillain. He's just an everyday criminal. He doesn't have an army or a secret underground headquarters or...
BURGLAR #5: Oh-ho, you'd be surprised. Have you not heard? Baron Darin Diamonocle has been... replaced. Now the No-Armed Bandit works alongside Izu Zabooka and Baron's associate Dr. Layers!
Template:sb The No-Armed Bandit? A supervillain? No... this can't be.
{Dangeresque falls to his knees. Cut to an above shot.}
Template:sb {shaking his fist at the sky} PERDUCC— Oops. I'm just more used to saying that. THE NO-ARMED BANDIT!!
{Cut to Dangeresque Too walking along the street in the rain}
[[hsr:{{{1}}}|{{{2}}}]] {sniff} Dangeresque. Who needs a Dangeresque? I can make it fine on my own. I'll start a business. I'll start a bakery! I'll make millions!
(We see a helicopter in the distance, with the cloning chamber in tow.)
Dangeresque Too: I'll make millions of millions!!
Izu: (Offscreen) Ditched by your friend, I see.
Dangersque Too: Who said that?
(Pan to Izu wearing a trench coat and flipping a coin.)
Izu: I did. Friends call me Izzy, I'm just a guy who pops up in the right places at the right times.
Dangeresque Too: Hi, Eddie Izzard!
Izu: I know someone who could help you find a new job.
[[hsr:{{{1}}}|{{{2}}}]] Ooh, a job, huh? I used to have something like that. Count me in!
IZU: Excellent. Tell me, Dangeresque Too, what do you call yourself?
[[hsr:{{{1}}}|{{{2}}}]] Oh, I'm Dangeresque Too, former crooked cop.
IZU: Ah. So your partner wasn't treating you well, huh?
[[hsr:{{{1}}}|{{{2}}}]] Yeah. And I only got paid in ice cream sandwiches. Which isn't half bad honestly.
IZU: Let me take you to my pal, No-Arms. He'll treat you like a partner, and pay you in cold hard cash.
[[hsr:{{{1}}}|{{{2}}}]] Ooh, No-Arms! That sounds like me!
{Wipe cut to the No-Armed Bandit's headquarters}
No-Armed Bandit: Trust me, Mr. Too, I'll be a way better boss than that other guy.
(Cut to Dangeresque Too and the No-Armed Bandit walking down a hallway.)
Dangeresque Too: Ooh, nicknames on the first day.
No-Armed Bandit: And there's way more where that came from, my good man.
[[hsr:{{{1}}}|{{{2}}}]] Oh really? Like what?
Template:hn Hmm. You're not working with Dangeresque anymore, so... you should change your name. How about... Dr. Esque II, burglar/criminal?
[[hsr:{{{1}}}|{{{2}}}]] Wait, I'm gonna be a criminal?
Template:hn What? No, I said, um, NOT burglar/criminal. You know, since we're gonna be stopping burglars and criminals. Like that Dangeresque fella.
Dangeresque Too: Makes sense to me!
(The cloning chamber descends from the ceiling.)
Dangeresque Too: Hey, what's that magic machine?
No-Armed Bandit: Oh, that's just the new executive toilet I ordered from SkyMall.
Dangeresque Too: Ooh, executive.
No-Armed Bandit: We need to get the plumbing ready before anyone can use it, so it's your job to make sure nobody tries to steal it and/or use it.
Dangeresque Too: You can count on me!
No-Armed Bandit: Good.
(The No-Armed Bandit walks away.)
No-Armed Bandit: (Thinking) "Executive toilet", that's the best cover up for a cloning machine I've heard all week!
{Silence. Crickets are heard.}
[[hsr:{{{1}}}|{{{2}}}]] {mumbling} Guarding the toilet. That's right. Ol' Dangeresque Too, toilet protector-er. That could be on my resume {pronounced "re-zoom"}. I'll make millions of millions! This is who I was always meant to be! Take that, Dangeresque. I've found my calling!
{Cut back to The No-Armed Bandit in his chair and speaks into a speaker}
Template:hn This is Bandit to Izu. I've got Too. Repeat, I've got Too.
{Zoom out to reveal Izu sitting across from The No-Armed Bandit}
IZU ZABOOKA: Yeah, I can hear you. What do we do now?
No-Armed Bandit: Simple. We'll use him to get a sample of Dangeresque's DNA to use for our master plan.
Izu Zabooka: To take over the world?
No-Armed Bandit: Of course.
IZU ZABOOKA: Sounds good to me. So how do we get his DNA evidence?
No-Armed Bandit: Isn't it obvious? Dangeresque doesn't know that Too left to work for someone else. For all he knows, he's still in his car. So we'll get him to convince Dangeresque that I'll give back the cloning machine in exchange for a vial of his-
Izu: Saliva?
No-Armed Bandit: No, that's gross.
Izu: Then what is it?
Template:hn DNA evidence, of course! Like in a little green test tube.
IZU ZABOOKA: How are you going to manage that?
Template:hn It'll be easy! Isn't that what DNA looks like?
IZU ZABOOKA: Um... I'll just let you do your thing.
Template:hn A'ight. Hey, Dr. Esque II!
[[hsr:{{{1}}}|{{{2}}}]] Yes, supreme overlord?
Template:hn Quit calling me that. I want you to do a favor for me...
[[hsr:{{{1}}}|{{{2}}}]] I'm listenin', I'm listenin'.
{Cut to the Professor Experimento's lab}
Template:sb Hey, Experimento. You seen the time machine? I mean cloning device?
Template:pp It was stolen!
Template:sb Nah, it couldn't'a been stolen. I suspect—
{Dangeresque Too walks in}
Template:sb Oh, hey, Dangeresque Too. What took you so long? Do you know where the transmogrifier is? I mean whatever.
Dangeresque Too: That thing? Isn't it obvious?
Dangeresque: Is what obvious?
Dangeresque Too: Uhhh... HEY LOOK, FRED FLINTSTONE!!
(Dangeresque and Experimento look to their right.)
Dangeresque: WHERE?!?!
(Dangeresque Too quickly puts in a videotape and turns on the TV.)
TV Guy: You're watching live TV, this is definitely not pre-recorded.
TV Guy: A cloning machine has been stolen from Professor What's-his-name's lab by Dangeresque Too. Dangeresque Too claims he will give it back in exchange for Dangeresque's Dan. Er, I mean... DNA.
Template:sb You stole my cloning machine?!
[[hsr:{{{1}}}|{{{2}}}]] {in a fake voice} What?! Of... of course not! I would never do that!!
TV Guy: Here is a picture of the thief.
(Cut to a picture of Dangeresque -1 (Homsar) with a number 2 taped to his shirt.)
Dangeresque: Oh, you were framed again.
Dangeresque Too: Yep, that's correct!
[[hsr:{{{1}}}|{{{2}}}]] So, uh... how 'bout that DNA?
Template:sb Why should I give you my DNA? You're not the thief, Dangeresque -1 is!
[[hsr:{{{1}}}|{{{2}}}]] Oh right. Man. This plan wasn't thought out so well.
Template:sb Wait, what plan?
Dangeresque Too: The plan to get back that machine!
Dangeresque: Oh, that!
(Dangeresque pulls out a vial of DNA from his pocket.)
Dangeresque: Go get 'em!
[[hsr:{{{1}}}|{{{2}}}]] You betcha! {runs away}
{Zoom out through a screen. The No-Armed Bandit is watching the scene on his supervillain monitor. Dangeresque Too arrives from the right. The No-Armed Bandit spins his menacing supervillain couch-chair towards him.}
Template:hn Ah. Dr. Esque II. You have my DNA, I trust?
[[hsr:{{{1}}}|{{{2}}}]] No, but I have Dangeresque's.
Template:hn Yeah, that's what I meant. It belongs to me now.
Dangeresque Too: Oh, right.
(Dangeresque Too hands the No-Armed Bandit the DNA.)
No-Armed Bandit: Thanks man, now we can BEGIN THE CLONING PROCESS!
Dangeresque Too: Good, I've always wanted to-WHAT?!?!
(Izu pours the DNA into the cloning machine.)
Izu: Time to program him for evil!
Dangeresque Too: What's going on?!?
Template:hn Don't you see, Dr. Esque II?
[[hsr:{{{1}}}|{{{2}}}]] It's Dangeresque Too now.
Template:hn Don't you see, Dangeresque Too? We were the bad guys all along. We only needed you to get us Dangeresque's DNA so we could make an evil Dangeresque! After all, the only person who can defeat Dangeresque... is himself!
[[hsr:{{{1}}}|{{{2}}}]] {falls to his knees and looks up to the sky dramatically} NOOOOO!!
No-Armed Bandit: (Bends at the knees and looks down) YESSSSS!!
{The cloning machine opens, as steam pours out and a familiar silhouette steps forward}
Template:sb Dangeresque. Nice to meetcha.
No-Armed Bandit: Dangeresque 2!
Dangeresque 2 and Dangeresque Too: Yeah?
No-Armed Bandit: Extract the DNA of the intruder!
Dangeresque 2: As you wish, boss.
[[hsr:{{{1}}}|{{{2}}}]] NOOO! Stop, you thief! You'll never get my DNA!
{Dangeresque 2 reaches under Dangeresque Too's hat and gets a tube of DNA evidence}
[[hsr:{{{1}}}|{{{2}}}]] Hey, how did you know I kept my DNA there?
Template:sb I'm Dangeresque, remember? I know all about you.
[[hsr:{{{1}}}|{{{2}}}]] You're not Dangeresque! You're a fiendish impostor!
Template:sb Eh, same thing. {pours the DNA into the machine}
{The cloning machine opens, as steam pours out and Dangeresque Too 2 steps forward}
DANGERESQUE TOO 2: I'm Dangeresque Too 2.
DANGERESQUE 2: What, are you my partner or something?
Template:hn Yes, you two are partners.
DANGERESQUE 2: Oh, okay. Can I have a weapon now? I can't defeat Dangeresque without a weapon.
Template:hn Oh right. Dangeresque has a nunchuck gun, right? I forget what it looks like, exactly...
IZU ZABOOKA: Just tape together a nunchuck and a gun. I have some right here. {hands them to The No-Armed Bandit}
Template:hn Okay. {looks at them for a second and thinks} Uh... {tapes them together the wrong way} There we go. {gives the gun nunchuck to Dangeresque 2}
DANGERESQUE 2: Cool, thanks.
Template:hn Now, Dangeresque Too 2...
[[hsr:{{{1}}}|{{{2}}}]] Yeah?
{They look at each other angrily for a moment}
Template:hn Dangeresque Too 2, go to Dangeresque's office and convince him that you're Dangeresque Too, then kill him.
DANGERESQUE TOO 2: I'm on it, boss! {runs away}
[[hsr:{{{1}}}|{{{2}}}]] No! You won't get away with this! {runs after Dangeresque Too 2}
Template:hn Yeah, you didn't think I'd let you escape so easily, did you? {zaps Dangeresque Too with his NES Zapper, knocking him unconscious}
IZU ZABOOKA: Now we wait for Dangeresque Too 2 to work his magic.
{Cut to the Smoky Office}
Template:sb Doot doo doot dooo... ah, the life of a crooked cop. So cool, and yet so boring.
{Dangeresque Too 2 arrives}
DANGERESQUE TOO 2: Hey, Dangeresque! It's me! Your partner! Dangeresque Too!
Template:sb Oh hey, D-Too. Didja get the cloning machine back?
DANGERESQUE TOO 2: Oh. About that. It... um... it broke.
Template:sb Aw man! Seriously?! I worked for months on that thing! Or more accurately, paid some professor to do it! With money!
DANGERESQUE TOO 2: Yeah, sorry, man. Hey, listen! I've got something to show you. Um... follow me.
Template:sb Sure! As long as it doesn't involve trying to kill me.
DANGERESQUE TOO 2: {nervously} Uh... uh... why would you think that?! That's ridiculous!!
Template:sb Oh, come on, Dangeresque Too. It was a joke!
DANGERESQUE TOO 2: Oh. Oh right. {fake laugh}
{They walk out of the room}
Renaldo: What a normal conversation.
(Cut to the two standing in front of a giant rock with some string wrapped around it.)
Dangeresque: So, why did you want to take me here again?
Dangeresque Too 2: Isn't it obvious? Everybody wants a rock! Especially one that's the size of a mansion.
Template:sb Oh, of course. Everybody wants a rock to wind a piece of string around!
DANGERESQUE TOO 2: ...Except, I already wound a piece of string around this one. Sorry.
Template:sb It's fine. I've got other rocks.
DANGERESQUE TOO 2: Anyway, I wanted to show you this because there's something special underneath. See, look! {lifts up part of the rock}
Template:sb I can't see anything under there.
DANGERESQUE TOO 2: Oh, that's just because it's too small. You need to go under the rock to see it.
Template:sb {crawls under the rock} Like this?
DANGERESQUE TOO 2: Yeah, perfect! {to himself} Man, this is too easy.
Template:sb Who are you talking to?
DANGERESQUE TOO 2: Um... Jerry! Yeah, just my good friend Jerry. What a pal.
Template:sb Who's Jerry?
DANGERESQUE TOO 2: No one, Dangeresque! I was talking to myself about how I'm going to kill you!
Template:sb What?!
DANGERESQUE TOO 2: Goodbye, Dangeresque!
{Dangeresque Too 2 drops the rock, crushing Dangeresque into tiny bite-sized pieces}
DANGERESQUE TOO 2: {gets out a walkie-talkie} This is D-Double-2 to No-Arms. I did it. Dangeresque is no more.
Template:hn Excellent, D-Double-2. Now come to my headquarters for your reward.
{Cut to The No-Armed Bandit's lair. Dangeresque Too 2 and The No-Armed Bandit are talking.}
DANGERESQUE TOO 2: So, where's that reward?
Template:hn Oh. Yeah. About that. I lied.
DANGERESQUE TOO 2: What?! I demand a reward, boss! I just killed Dangeresque!!
Template:hn Fine, fine! Uh... I'll give you... a new star, how about that?
{The No-Armed Bandit gets a white star, draws a face and mustache on it, and puts it on Dangeresque Too 2's shirt.}
Template:hn There. Good as new.
DANGERESQUE TOO 2: I like it! Thanks, No-Arms!
Template:hn Anytime.
{Dangeresque hops out from behind the cloning machine}
Template:sb FREEZE!
Template:hn Oh, hey Dangeresque 2. Did you hear? We just killed Dangeresque!
DANGERESQUE TOO 2: Why are you pointing that gun at us?
Template:sb I am Dangeresque!!
Dangeresque Too 2: What?! I thought I killed you!
Template:sb I got my main man Experimento to make a realistic robot version of me, just in case I ever get into a dangerous situasche. So you just broke my million-dollars robot. I'm gonna need to rebuild that thing, you know. Pay up!
Template:hn Sorry, Dangeresque. I'm not paying you anything!
{Dangeresque Too starts to wake up}
[[hsr:{{{1}}}|{{{2}}}]] Oogh... ugh... what's going on?
Template:sb Whoa! Dangeresque Too! Where'd you come from?
Template:hn I zapped him unconscious seven posts ago!
Template:sb Well, Too... do you wanna fight these impostor clones and their hideous boss?
Template:hn Hideous?
[[hsr:{{{1}}}|{{{2}}}]] You bet, Dangeresque!
Izu: Oh no, you don't!
(Armed Bandits rush in.)
Izu: We're not gonna let you end this movie- I mean stop our plan so soon!
No-Armed Bandit: Minimum Wage Minions, ATTACK!
Template:sb Nunchuck gun! {nunchucks three bandits}
[[hsr:{{{1}}}|{{{2}}}]] THE PIPES WILL NEVER BE PREPARED! {does a spin-kick, knocking back every bandit}
Template:sb Ptoo! Ptoo! {shoots a few bandits}
ARMED BANDIT #14: Hyah! {kicks the nunchuck gun out of his hand}
{The nunchuck gun lands in Armed Bandit #29's hands. He aims it at Dangeresque and shoots, but Dangeresque dodges.}
Dangeresque: Ha, ya missed me!
Armed Bandit #14: I wasn't aiming for you...
[[hsr:{{{1}}}|{{{2}}}]] {weakly} Mr. Esque... I don't feel so good...
Template:sb Nooo! You shot my partner! How dare you?!
Template:hn Bandits, away!!
{The No-Armed Bandit, Izu, and the Armed Bandits leave}
Template:sb Keep it together, Too! I don't want you to go all Peter Parker on me, DON"T GO PETER PARKER ON ME!!!!!
[[hsr:{{{1}}}|{{{2}}}]] I... {inhale} I can't make it. You... you defeat the bad guys for me. And tell... {wince} tell Renaldo... he... still... owes me... five... bucks... {closes his eyes}
Template:sb D— Dangeresque Too. Dangeresque Too! Come on! You can't do this now! {silence} Noooooo!
[[hsr:{{{1}}}|{{{2}}}]] {coughs}
Template:sb You're still alive? Dangeresque Too! Speak to me!
Template:sb Unconscious. Aw, man. He doesn't have much longer to live... I gotta get this guy to Experimento, and fast!
(A Batman '66 type transition happens as we cut to Experimento in his lab doing some readings on Dangeresque Too.)
Template:pp He's not looking too good. We need to get that bullet out in less than three minutes.
Template:sb Yikes. Is that even possible?
Template:pp No, it's not... for me, at least. Luckily, my associate, Scientist Methodemew, can help.
Template:sp {walks in} Hey, everyone. I'm Scientist Methodemew. Heard you need help.
Template:sb Can you get this bullet outta' Too?
Template:sp Sure! Just gotta magnet it out.
(He pulls out a giant horseshoe magnet, which the bullet goes to.)
[[hsr:{{{1}}}|{{{2}}}]] OW!! Hey, stop! Oh, I'm alive again. That's pretty great.
Template:sp Hey, there's something written on the bullet.
Template:sb Let me guess, it has his name on it.
Template:sp No, it actually has some numbers on it.
Template:pp It looks like binary. All I need to do is type it into my computer here and decode it.
Template:sp I'm way ahead of you! {types into the computer} It's decoded! The message is...
Template:sp Be sure to drink your Ovaltine?
[[hsr:{{{1}}}|{{{2}}}]] It was just a cruddy commercial.
Template:sb Crap.
Template:pp Um.. did you put it in backwards?
Template:sp Whoops, sorry. I pressed the wrong button. I pressed "Commercial" instead of "Decode". {presses button} There we go.
[[hsr:{{{1}}}|{{{2}}}]] What does it say?
Template:sp "Remember the monacle."
Template:sb Oh no! It's worse than I thought!
Template:sp What?
Template:sb Those villains misspelled "monocle"! Those diabolical fiends!
Template:sp Wait a minute... diabolical... monocle... ah-ha! I know what this means! But you're not gonna like it.
{Cut to Brainblow City Prison}
Template:bb Ah, so nostalgic. Just like the olden days!
(Dangeresque pops out of nowhere.)
Template:bb {raises his hands} What are you doing? You can't arrest me! I'm already in jail!
Template:sb I'm not trying to arrest you, I'M TRYING TO KILL YOU FOR ALMOST KILLING MY PARTNER!!!
Template:bb What are you talking about?
Template:sb Don't act like you don't know, you made the bullet that was used to shoot Dangeresque Too! You left a clue and everything!!
Template:bb That wasn't a clue to anything! I just wanted to give you something to show that I've turned over a new leaf.
Template:sb Huh? Then... how did the bad guys get your bullet?
Template:bb You see, when that No-Arms replaced me, I stole one of my own bullets and wrote a note on it before I ran out of the building! Then I devoted my life to being a good guy. While being in jail.
Template:sb Prove it.
Template:bb You'll just have to trust me, Dangeresque. {Pronounced danger-esque}
Template:sb Did you say what I thought you said?
Template:bb What? Danger-ESQUE? Yes, I said Danger-esque. What's so wrong with saying Danger-esque?!
Template:sb You're saying it right! You're a good guy now! I can't believe it! Come with us. We have some bandits to fight.
Template:bb Not so fast, I've been talking with Experimento, and he has something to show you first.
(Cut to Experimento's Lab.)
Template:pp Hello, Dangeresque. We managed to get some of your father's DNA. It was too damaged to clone, but fortunately Methodemew and I managed to... well, I'll let him explain it.
Template:sp We managed to import his knowledge into a computer, bringing him back to life!
Template:sb Wait, seriously?
Template:sp Yeah, check it out! {turns on the computer}
Template:pp And now, the moment of truth. (Inserts a floppy disk labeled "dad.exe" into the computer, causing Dadgeresque's head to appear on-screen Max Headroom style.)
Template:sc Condolences, Sonny.
Template:sb Dad!
Template:sc I'm not too pappy, Julietta. My moniker is to being Seron Card—
Template:sb It's great to see you again, dad!
Template:sc It's okay to finally find a burrito. Could you spare a five?
Template:sp Umm... What the crap is he saying?
Template:sc I stole CBS. (farts) Oooohhhh I just made a giant masterpiece for all the worlds greatest newspaper nerds!
Template:sb You watch your mouth about news-pappers! Just cause I read them crapping doesn't mean you can disgrace them crapping!
Template:sb Anyway, dad, we need your help. We're trying to catch some bandits who cloned us. You got any tips?
Template:sc Welp, Joyceberg, the collect thing to do in the situnario is to prance like the chickens.
Template:sb Chickens! Of course!
{Cut to a chicken farm, where we see The Cheat dressed up as a farmer.}
Template:sb Ah-ha! Craig! I knew you survived!
Template:tc {The Cheat noises}
Template:sb Oh. You're Istanbul?
Template:tc {The Cheat noises}
Template:sb Ohhh, you're a new character. What's your name, new guy?
Template:tc {The Cheat noises}
Template:sb Nice to meet ya, Farmer Donglo!
Template:sb My dad, a famous dead detective, told me to meet you. Do you have any tips to help us catch the bandits?
Template:tc {The Cheat noises}
Template:sb Of cooourse!
(Cut to Dangeresque and co. milking cows.)
Template:bb When I wanted to help you guys, this is not what I had in mind.
[[hsr:{{{1}}}|{{{2}}}]] I have an injury. I prolly shouldn't even be doing this.
Template:sb Why do we have to do this again, Donglo?
Template:tc {The Cheat noises}
Template:sb The No-Armed Bandit is allergic to dairy, you say?
Template:tc {Confirming meh}
Template:sb Anything else we should know?
(Cut to them squishing grapes with their feet)
Template:sb How exactly will making jelly help us with Izu?
Template:tc {The Cheat noises}
Template:sb Ohhh. Grapes make him nauseous and break out in hives. Makes sense.
{The No-Armed Bandit, Izu, the Armed Bandits, and the Dangeresque clones pop out of nowhere}
Template:hn Freeze, gelatin-makers!
Template:bb But we're making-
Template:sb Quick! The milk!
{Everyone grabs a bucket of milk and tosses it on The No-Armed Bandit}
Template:sp And the jam!
{Everyone pours their buckets of jam on Izu Zabooka}
Template:hn WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! That's just gross! This milk will take forever to wash out.
IZU ZABOOKA: You think that's bad... I've got jelly stains everywhere!
Template:gf What's happening? I thought you guys were allergic!
Template:hn What are you talking about? I'm allergic to technocheese.
Izu: And I'm allergic to Swawarian death wasps.
Template:hn Wait, why did we just say that?!
[[hsr:{{{1}}}|{{{2}}}]] Ha! Now we know your allergies!
Template:sb But Donglo, I thought you said—
Template:tc {The Cheat noises}
Template:sb Wait... you knew their allergies all along?! Then why didn't you tell us the right ones?
Template:tc {cackling The Cheat noises}
Template:sb You're working for them? And you were just distracting us so the bandits could plan a surprise attack?!
[[hsr:{{{1}}}|{{{2}}}]] The Cheat—I mean, Donglo! How could you?!
Template:hn You don't know the half of it, Dangeresques. You don't know who he really is...
{Donglo starts talking in a poorly-dubbed Powered by The Cheat voice}
Template:tc It was me, Craig allalong!
Template:sb But you were thrown out into space, I saw it!
Template:tc You see, I made it back to Earth, do you see?
Template:sb But how? This makes no sense!
Template:tc I just landed here.
Template:sb Oh. That makes sense.
Template:sb Well, I guess we have to fight now.
Template:hn Not so fast! You guys have just found out our allergies, so we need to erase your short-term memory.
Template:gf Nooo! How will you possibly do that?
Template:hn Cuz', you know I always come prepared! {pulls out a device} As soon as I press this button, no one will remember a thing from today, except Izu and I.
[[hsr:{{{1}}}|{{{2}}}]]  You monster!
(The No-Armed Bandit presses the button... but nothing happens)
Template:hn What?
(He repeatedly presses the button until the device breaks into pieces.)
Template:hn WHY DIDN'T THAT WORK?!
Izu: Sorry boss, Craig forgot the batteries.
Template:hn DAAHHH! And that was my only one! Well, seeing as how it's practically impossible to find the things that cause our allergies, we might as well just ESCAPE!
{The No-Armed Bandit and Izu Zabooka run away}
Template:tc Cowards. I may have forgot to put in the batteries... but that doesn't mean I don't have extras! {pulls out a pair of batteries, fixes the machine, and puts them in}
{Craig runs toward The No-Armed Bandit and Izu, and presses the button. A force field appears around the bad guys, and the good guys are blown back from an explosion, unconsious.}
Template:hn  We did it, Izu! We won!
IZU: Yeah, but there's one problem... the Dangeresque clones weren't in the force field.
DANGERESQUE 2: Who are we? And who are you guys?
Template:tc  Come with us. We'll take you back to the Headquarters and tell you everything.
{The bad guys leave and the good guys wake up}
 Template:sb  Oh man, what a crazy dream. Can anyone tell me why we're in a chicken farm?
Template:sp  Maybe someone kidnapped us, or we fell out of an airplane, or we wanted to plant chickens or something.
Template:gf  That makes sense.
[[hsr:{{{1}}}|{{{2}}}]]  Let's go back to the office.
Template:sb Yeah, but the building's being fumigated. So we're gonna have to climb to the roof!!
Looks like we're gonna have to juuump!
Template:sb That's my line, man.
Template:bb How exactly are we going to climb up a building?
Template:sp Oh yeah. I bought spring boots, just in case. {takes out a box of boots with springs at the bottom} This should be a piece o' cake.
{Wipe to outside the building. Dangeresque and Too, Renaldo, Dangergsgxgzgdrc, Diamonocle, and the Pom Professors are wearing spring boots. They leap on top of the building.}
Template:gf Well, that was exciting. What do we do now?
Template:sb I dunno. Just look out for any crime, I suppose.
{Cut to the bad guys' headquarters}
Template:hn Your name is Dangeresque. And your name is Dangeresque Too. We need you to kill some criminals.
DANGERESQUE 2: What are their names?
IZU: {whispering} Should we, you know, tell them they're clones?
Template:hn {whispering} No. If they believe they're original, that'll give them more motivation to kill these guys.
IZU: {whispering} Your logic is questionable, but okay.
Template:hn Well, Dangeresque, their names aren't relevant. All you need to know is, they make frequent visits to Brainblow City Prison, so we'll wait there to kill them.
DANGERESQUE TOO 2: That's a good plan, master.
Template:hn But be warned. They are masters of disguise. They could be anyone, even you. So stay alert!
{Cut to The No-Armed Bandit, Izu, and the clones sneaking over to the prison. They're caught by a guard.}
GUARD: Hey, you're not allowed in here...
Template:hn  We've been caught! Retreat!!
GUARD: ...The building's being fumigated. You'll have to climb this ladder to the roof.
Template:hn  Oh. Heh heh. Thank you, sir.
{They climb the ladder. Cut to the roof.}
DANGERESQUE 2: So, boss, what do we do now? We can't really attack them from up here.
IZU ZABOOKA: Uh, maybe this will give us the opportunity for a sneak attack! Yeah!
Template:hn  So, uh, you guys wait here for the criminals. We'll go back down and watch.
{Cut to Dangeresque and co. on top of the office building}
Template:sb  Man. It's been two hours and we still haven't seen no crime.
Template:sp  I'm tired. Can we get down from here?
Template:sb  I guess so. But our spring boots are broken, so... looks like we're gonna have to juuump!
Template:cz  All da way down there? That's a twenty-story drap!
Template:sb  Don't worry, I'll survive. After all, I'm Dangeresque. I got a PhD in falling-from-unbelievable-heights at Crooked Cop Academy. The rest of you won't survive, though, so I guess you're stuck up here.
Template:gf  Aw man.
Template:pp {bubbles} {subtitled: Hey, what's that over there?}
 Template:sb  Whoa hey whoa! Looks like a robbery going on up on top of Brainblow City Prison! It's too far to see the criminals, though. Let's get on over there!
{Cut to the prison roof}
DANGERESQUE 2: Those criminals should be here any minute.
{Cut to Dangeresque and co. leaping across buildings}
Template:sb We'll be there any minute!
Template:sp Pardon me, Dangeresque, but my fighting skills aren't the best. I'm more of an inventing sorta guy.
Template:pp {bubbles and nods}
[[hsr:{{{1}}}|{{{2}}}]] I have a bullet wound.
Template:bb I haven't exercised since I was arrested years ago. My back is killing me!
Template:cz I'm an old man! I'm supposed to be retired!
Template:sb Fine. You Poms can stay behind and invent stuff. Bubs, you can just watch. Renaldo, you're too lame to fight with us. Dangergarblewhatever, you're too suspicious. All you guys can stay behind.
[[hsr:{{{1}}}|{{{2}}}]] What about me? I told you I'm injured.
Template:sb Shut up and come.
[[hsr:{{{1}}}|{{{2}}}]] Why?
Template:sb You have skills on the field. I could use your help.
[[hsr:{{{1}}}|{{{2}}}]] I dunno... I'm injured. I can't fight very well. That doesn't sound very helpful.
Template:sb Yeah, but I can use you as a shield.
[[hsr:{{{1}}}|{{{2}}}]] Wait—
Template:sb All right, let's go!
{Dangeresque and Dangeresque Too run to the prison roof}
{Cut back to the other characters on the building}
Template:gf This is boring.
Template:cz Oooh, this is too exciting! I just gorta wortch! {runs across buildings, near the roof of the prison}
{Cut to a slow-motion montage of the two Dangeresques landing on the roof, wielding their weapons, the clones getting into attack positions, about to attack... and then they realize who they are.}
Template:sb Template:sb Two Dangeresques?
[[hsr:{{{1}}}|{{{2}}}]] [[hsr:{{{1}}}|{{{2}}}]] And two Dangeresque Toos?
Template:cz {pops into the scene} But that equals...
Template:cz ...SOMETHING!!
Template:sb Wait, doesn't that equal four?
DANGERESQUE TOO 2: Divided by two?
DANGERESQUE 2: Equals six?
Template:sb Doesn't matter. Let's fight, you impostors.
DANGERESQUE 2: You guys are the impostors, man!
[[hsr:{{{1}}}|{{{2}}}]] This will determine that.
{The Dangeresques and their clones shoot at each other}
Template:sb {shouting back} Hey guys! We need some help over here!
[[hsr:{{{1}}}|{{{2}}}]] {shouting back} Experimento! You got any cool science equipment?
{Cut to Dangeresque's allies, still standing on the building}
Template:pp {bubbles} {subtitled: I always take a bag of spare parts with me, just in case. But since we left in such a hurry, I only had time to pack this microwave.}
Template:sbAh, don't worry. A microwave will do. Now pass it!
{Professor Experimento throws the microwave to Dangeresque, who catches it. He smashes it over Dangeresque 2's head as he turns into the stunt double.}
Template:ss Ow!
Template:sb That's what you get for impersonating me, you impersonator! {repeatedly smashes the stunt double with the microwave}
Template:ss Ouch! Hey! Jeez! I! Didn't! Even! Wanna! Be! In! This! Movie! Stop! Ow!!
{Cut to Strong Bad's basement. Everyone is still watching the movie.}
Template:hn Hey Strong Bad... why did you use your stunt double in this scene? I gave you a big enough budget. You could've just CG'd yourself in there.
Template:sb What are you talking about? Of course that's me. I do all my own stunts.
Template:ss In reality, he just wanted to torment me on camera.
Template:gf  Don't we all, Strong Bad... don't we all.
{Cut back to the movie. The two clones are now bruised and beaten.}
DANGERESQUE 2: All right, Dangeresques, all right! You win!
Template:sb You got that right, impostorous crinimal scumbag! Ready, Dangeresque Too?
[[hsr:{{{1}}}|{{{2}}}]] THE PIPES ARE IN DESPERATE NEED OF A REPLACEMENT AND WE SHOULD PROBABLY CALL A PLUMBER!! {does a backwards flip, kicking both clones off the building}
Template:cz Noice kick!
Template:sb Just another victory for... DANGERESQUE!
Template:hn {offscreen} You call that a victory?
{The No-Armed Bandit and Izu Zabooka climb up the building and onto the roof}
[[hsr:{{{1}}}|{{{2}}}]] Izu and the Bandit! We shoulda known you was behind all this!
Template:hn Indeed. But you will never truly succeed, Dangeresque. For as long as Izu and I live, you will never, ever—
[[hsr:{{{1}}}|{{{2}}}]] {kicks both of them off the building}
Template:hn AAHHHHH!
Template:hn (Weakly.) I'm still alive! Somehow...
IZU ZABOOKA: {offscreen} I can't believe I bounced!
Template:hn {offscreen} Shut up.
Template:sb Well, we're on top of a building, and there are criminals down there, and the elevator's too slow, so...
[[hsr:{{{1}}}|{{{2}}}]] Yeah?
Template:sb I'll... I'll let you say it this time.
[[hsr:{{{1}}}|{{{2}}}]] LOOKS LIKE WE'RE GONNA HAVE TO JUMP!
{Dangeresque and Dangeresque Too jump off. Cut to the bottom of the building, where they land.}
Template:sb Time's up, Armless Thief and Backwards Weapon Name! {points nunchuck gun at them} You're under arrest!
[[hsr:{{{1}}}|{{{2}}}]] {pulls out handcuffs}
Template:hn {sarcastically} Oh no, whatever shall we do? (Pulls out a communicator) JOHNSON, GET THE HELL OVER HERE!
(Dangergsgxgzgdrc Johnson appears)
Template:gf Suprise!
Template:gf I said, surprise!
{Crickets continue}
Template:gf Aren't you guys surprised I was working for the bad guys this whole time?
Template:sb Not in the least.
[[hsr:{{{1}}}|{{{2}}}]] You always seemed kinda sketchy and mischevious.
Template:gf Aw man. That's kind of anticlimactic. I was hoping for a big "WHAT? YOU'RE A BAD GUY?!" plot twist revelation.
Template:sb Well, you're not gettin' one, Dangegarble. You're too predictable.
Template:gf  Oh well. What's the troubles, No-Arms?
Template:hn Take care of these guys while we escape!
Template:gf On it.
Template:hn You haven't won yet, Dangeresque! Soon, we shall plant the seeds of your death, and harvest the wheat of victory!
(They run away.)
Template:gf But I'm allergic to victory!
Template:sb Allergic?!
(Zoom in on Dangeresque's head, then fade to a flashback to the farm scene.)
Template:hn I'm allergic to technocheese.
Izu: And I'm allergic to Swawarian death wasps.
(Fade back to Dangeresque.)
Template:sb I remember everything!
[[hsr:{{{1}}}|{{{2}}}]] Same thing!
Template:cz Ditto!
Template:sb {whispering to Dangeresque Too} Now where can we find technocheese, death wasps, and victory at this hour?
[[hsr:{{{1}}}|{{{2}}}]] I may know, but your not gonna like it...
Template:sb Not this crap again.
(Cut to everyone in DangeCarEsque)
Template:sb So, who are we finding exactly?
Template:pp Isn't it obvious? We need someone who's had experience traveling the world, looking for specific things.
Template:sb But that could be anyo- Oh heavy lorde, not Sultry Buttons.
{Cut to Sultry Buttons at a familiar stone bridge in "Rome". The DangeCar-esque arrives. Dangeresque steps out.}
Template:sb Uh, h— hi, Sultry. I know it's been a while, but I need you to h—
Template:mz {smacks him with her purse and walks away}
Template:sp This'll be harder than I thought.
Template:pp (We need to earn her trust!)
Template:bb But how?
Template:sb Well, I did it before. I'm sure I can do it again. Say, doc, you know how to clone Stickanee plants?
Template:sp I'm sure I could try. But it's a long and complicated process... and, dare I say it? You're not gonna like it.
{Cut to Experimento Labs}
Template:sp Stickanee plants have been extinct for over a decade now. But with the right materials, I might be able to make a replica.
Template:sb What materials are those, exactly?
Template:sp I need one particle from a Stickanee plant. I need water. Not just any water, but Stickanee water. And last but not least, I need a slice of pie. I can't resurrect extinct flora on an empty stomach.
Template:sb Where can we find these things?
Template:sp The particle should be in the lab owned by Doctor Prisma. You can probably find the Stickanee water in the garden of Cool Cool Glasses Erin. For the pie, locate The Sweepster. Word has it she operates a top-secret restaurant alongside a mysterious accomplice, serving the best pies for the lowest prices since 1987.
Template:sb Huh. That shouldn't be too hard. Let's split up for this job. Dangeresque and I will find Prisma. Renaldo and Diamonocle, you guys go to Erin. The two scientists, get the Sweepster.
{Cut to Dangeresque and Dangeresque Too in a dark lab}
[[hsr:{{{1}}}|{{{2}}}]] This place be givin' me the jibblies.
Template:sr {walks out of the shadows} Well, hello, Dangeresque. And Dangeresque.
Template:sb Step aside. We need to see Doctor Prisma.
Template:sr Well, you're in luck. I am Doctor Prisma.
Template:sb Oh, sorry, right. You got any Stickanee particles?
Template:sr You see, there were some... complications. Come with me and I'll explain everything.
{Cut to Renaldo and Baron Darin Diamonocle in front of a house}
Template:bb "Cool Cool Glasses Erin"... nope, never heard that name before. Have you?
Template:cz I have, actually. In fact, I'm very familiar with that name. She was my foster daughter!
Template:bb Wait, really?!
Template:cz Yeah! She left like twenty years ago to go to Crooked Cop Academy. I've wonder how she's been. {knocks on the door}
{Cool Cool Glasses Erin opens it}
Template:ce Dad?
Template:cz Hey dere, kiddo!
Template:ce Who's that guy with the not-so-cool-cool half-glasses?
Template:cz He's my associate, Baron Darin Diamonocle!
Template:ce Wait, you mean the supervillain?
Template:bb Not no more! I've turned a new leaf! I'm with the good guys now!
Template:cz We need some'n from your garden. Mind if we step inside?
Template:ce Sure, sure! Come on in.
{They walk inside. Cut to the two Poms walking through Brainblow City.}
Template:sp The secret pie restaurant has to be around here somewhere...
{They encounter a shady door in a dark alleyway, reading "Detective Delly's Dangerous Dessert/Deli Dining Division"}
Template:sp Here it is. Now for the secret signal. {knocks the door}
DETECTIVE DELLY: {opens it} Ah, Scientist Methodemew. I've been expectin' ya.
Template:pp (Are you the one they call "The Sweepster"?)
DETECTIVE DELLY: No, you're lookin' fer my janitor. Sweepster! You got visitors!
Template:su {emerges from the shadows} Oh, it's Methodemew and his associate. What do you guys want?
Template:sp One freshly baked pie, please.
Template:su Jeez, Methodemew. Always with the pies. Get baking, Delly.
DETECTIVE DELLY: One pie, comin' right up!
{Cut back to PrismaLabs}
Template:sr A while back, I attempted to clone a Stickanee plant...
Template:sb Hey, that's what we're doing!
Template:sr I used all my Stickanee particles. The experiment failed. There are none left.
Template:sb Oh, come on! What are we supposed to do now?
Template:sr Don't worry, don't worry. I'll give you something else.
[[hsr:{{{1}}}|{{{2}}}]] We don't want anything else. We have to clone a Stickanee plant.
Template:sr Ooh, wait! I recently started developing technological substitutions of dairy products. Robotic milk, cheese, yogurt, you name it! On the house. Tastes just as good as the real thing!
Template:sb Fine. We'll take the cheese.
Template:sr Excellent choice!
{Cut back to the garden}
Template:bb Hey, nice plants, Glasses! Uh, got any Stickanee water here?
Template:ce What? No. I haven't bought any since they went extinct.
Template:cz But we need that water!
Template:ce Sorry, there's nothing I can do.
Template:bb Hey, why are there so many wasps' nests in here?
Template:ce Oh, studies have shown that plants raised alongside insects grow faster. These killer wasps fertilize the soil or whatever. Want one?
Template:cz A nest fulla angry killer wasps?! No thank you please!
Template:ce It's fine. They only attack when someone attacks them first.
Template:bb You know what, I'll take it. Better than nothing, I suppose.
Template:cz WHAT?! No! That is not better than nothing!
{Cut back to the diner}
Template:su Hey, uh, we don't got no pie ingredients.
Template:sp Oh, come on! What else you got?
DETECTIVE DELLY: Today's special dessert is our signature Victory Cake.
Template:pp (Victory Cake? What's in it?)
Template:su Victory.
Template:pp (Huh.)
Template:sp We'll take it!
Template:su Great. That'll be $949.99.
{Cut back to Experimento Labs. Everyone walks in.}
Template:sb I'm afraid I got some bad news, boys. All I managed to get was this lousy block of mechanical cheddar.
Template:bb Don't be too hard on yourself, Dangeresque. I didn't get the water either. Just these dumb insects.
Template:sp And we couldn't get the pie. We just got a cake full of victory.
Template:sb Well, this is just terrible! We can't clone a Stickanee plant, and get Sultry Buttons to help us find technocheese, Swawarian death wasps, and victory!
{Long pause}
Template:sb Wait.
Template:sb Are any of those bugs from Swawaria?
Template:sp Sure looks like it. I recognize a Swawarian wasps' nest when I see one.
Template:sb What about the cake? Is it made with authentic victory?
Template:sp {takes a bite} Mmm. Seems so.
Template:sb Technocheese, Swawarian death wasps, and victory! We have all our enemies' allergies!
Template:bb Hey, we do!
Template:sb Now let's get over to the No-Armed Bandit's lair and show them who's boss!
[[hsr:{{{1}}}|{{{2}}}]] To the Dange-Car-Esque-Mobile!
{They arrive at The No-Armed Bandit's headquarters}
[[hsr:{{{1}}}|{{{2}}}]] I think they're inside.
Template:sb Brilliant observation. Okay, here's the plan... the doors are locked, but I'll send endoded messages to Experimento, and he can hack into their security system. Once the doors are open, there are some countermeasures, so we'll need to be stealthy. And we'll need to use our acrobatic skills, 'cause their lasers could slice us into pancakes. Once we get past the foyer, there will be a panel on the wall. We need to open it, which might take a few hours, and change the wires. After that, we need to steal the—
{Dangeresque Too blows up the wall with explosives}
Template:sb Or... we could just do that. Good thinking.
{They walk inside. Cut to the Bandit's office.}
Template:hn So, they killed Dangeresque 2 and Too 2, but I have a new plan up my... sleeves.
Template:gf What's that, boss?
Template:hn We still have both Dangeresques' DNA. We'll just clone them again. But this time... we'll clone a whole army of Dangeresques!
IZU: Brilliant idea!
{Cut to Dangeresque and Dangeresque Too hiding in the room}
Template:sb {whispering} Did they just say they're going to clone an army of us?
[[hsr:{{{1}}}|{{{2}}}]] {whispering} Seems that way, yes.
Template:sb {whispering} Hold on. I have another plan. {walks over to them}
[[hsr:{{{1}}}|{{{2}}}]] {whispering} What are you doing? You'll blow our cover!
Template:sb {whispering} I know.
Template:hn Dangeresque?! How did you get in here?
Template:sb I'm not Dangeresque. I'm Dangeresque 2.
[[hsr:{{{1}}}|{{{2}}}]] That's right. He is.
IZU: But you fell off the building and died!
Template:sb We fell off the building, yes. But we didn't die. Just like you.
[[hsr:{{{1}}}|{{{2}}}]] What is your next mission for us?
Template:hn I need you to put Dangeresque and Dangeresque Too's DNA into the cloning machine, and set it to x1,000.
[[hsr:{{{1}}}|{{{2}}}]] Yes, master.
{The Dangeresques walk offscreen}
Template:gf With our Dange-army-sque, we'll be unstoppable!
IZU: Dange-army-sque? Is that really what you want to call it?
Template:gf 'Course! It rolls right off the tongue!
{The Dangeresques come back}
Template:sb We have completed your task.
Template:hn Excellent! You may go to your quarters. Izu... Dangegarble... come with me and witness my plan coming into fruition!
{The three bad guys walk to the cloning machine and press "Go"}
Template:hn In mere seconds, one thousand Dangeresque clones will come pouring out of this device!
{The doors open, and a mound of technocheese, death wasps, and victory cakes pour out, filling the room. They begin swelling up and breaking out in hives.}
Template:gf AAHH! This isn't Dangeresques!
IZU: Someone put our worst allergies in here instead of DNA!
Template:hn Wait, who was supposed to put the DNA in here?
ALL: Dangeresques!!
Template:sb {comes back and points his nunchuck gun at them} That's right, bad guys! I've caught you red-handed! And red-everythingded! And swollen! And gross!
[[hsr:{{{1}}}|{{{2}}}]] You're coming with us.
Template:hn No, we're not!
{Cut to the three at Brainblow City Prison. The cell slams closed.}
Template:hn We'll get you next time, Dangeresques...
Izu And the No Armed Bandit: NEXT TIME!!!
Template:gf MEOW!
Template:sb {voiceover} And so No-Arms, Izu Zabooka, and Dangergsgxgzgdrc Johnson were put behind bars by yours truly.
{Cut to various villains in prison}
Template:sb {voiceover} It's been months since that fateful day. Since then, I've finally caught Perducci, Killingyouguy, Craig, Dr. Layers, and the Armed Bandits. Brainblow City's crime rate has dropped 90%.
{Cut to the Chief awarding medals to the Dangeresques}
Template:sb {voiceover} For our courage in stopping them, the Chief promoted us to Very Crooked Cops. For his courage in promoting us, the Chief was promoted to Supreme-Chief-Officer-Chief-Bossman.
{Cut to Renaldo and Baron Darin Diamonocle on a beach}
Template:sb {voiceover} Renaldo retired one more time, and moved to the unsinkable Sidekick Islands II. Baron Darin Diamonocle, having turned away from his life of crime, lives there with him.
{Cut to the two Pom scientists with Doctor Prisma, creating a flower}
Template:sb {voiceover} The two Pom scientists teamed up with Doctor Prisma. They shared their research, and cloned the first Stickanee seed since the plant's extinction.
{Cut to Cool Cool Glasses Erin planting seeds}
Template:sb {voiceover} Cool Cool Glasses Erin is their seed-planter, helping to bring all varities of Stickanees back into the environment. She visits Renaldo every week.
{Cut to Cutesy and Sultry Buttons at the Stone Bridge}
Template:sb {voiceover} The Buttons sisters — yes, they're sisters — put their differences aside after 20 years, and bonded over their love for Stickanee plants.
{Cut to The Sweepster and Detective Delly}
Template:sb {voiceover} Detective Delly and The Sweepster started a new restaurant, with authentic, unstolen food. They became a five-star success.
{Cut to dad.exe}
Template:sb {voiceover} My father is still alive, albeit in computer form, thanks to Experimento. Everything's back to the way it should be.
{Fade to the Dangeresques driving the DangeCar-esque}
RADIO: Attention! Crime alert! There is a robbery taking place at Brainblow National Bank.
[[hsr:{{{1}}}|{{{2}}}]] A robbery? What fun!
Template:sb Let's stop by. Maybe serve the robber some sweet justice!
[[hsr:{{{1}}}|{{{2}}}]] Want to get a taco and a Reesy Cup on the way?
Template:sb Abso-total-utely.
{Cut to the car driving into the distance at sunset. Fade to black. Zoom out of the movie screen.}
Template:sb Well, what do you think?
Template:cz (Stands up and slowly claps.)
(Bubs, Greg, Strong Mad, and the Poopsmith follow suit.)
{...followed by everyone else}
Template:sb Thank you! Thank you! I'd like to thank all of you for helping to create this film.
Template:hn I'm so glad he put my budget to good use.
Template:gf I'm kinda disappointed they cut out my 2-hour song-and-dance number.
Template:ev 'Twas a dastardly masterly masterwork of cinemagic wonder!
[[hsr:{{{1}}}|{{{2}}}]] It sure was a movie.
Template:sp Scientist Methodemew's role was acted flawlessly!
Template:cz I didn't die this time!
Template:sb Thank you all so much for coming to the premiere! Be sure to stay tuned for Dangeresque 5: The World in Crisis, hitting theaters June 2029!
{Everyone gets up and leaves the basement}
Template:sb And don't forget to give me the payment for the $500 tickets on your way out!
ALL: Aww...
{Cut to a mug of coffee and cool, cool glasses on a dark desk. The glasses have "THE" and "END" reflected in the lenses.}
Template:hn (Off-screen) One, Two, One, Two, Three!
(Music starts playing as we cut to a slideshow of the making of the movie.)
Template:sb (Singing) Today is all right for tonight,
Riding in a Corvette and feelin' alright,
Today is all right for tonight!
Template:sb Tonight is okay for today,
riding in a Chevy and feeling this way,
tonight is okay for toda-a-ay!
(Guitar solo.)
Template:sb {speaking simultaneously}
Oh yeah, that's good.
I like that, I like that!
Feel those meedlies! And the squeedlies aren't half bad neither!

{The guitar solo ends}

Template:sb {singing}
This evening's so nice for the afternoon,
why did this song have to end a-so soon?
So nice for the afternoon!

3:02 PM is quite satisfactory for the... um...
I ran out of words. You guys can stop playing now.

{The song ends}
Template:sb I probably should have just sticked to the first lyric.
{Musical sting.}