Broternal Order Of Different Helmets/Coach E's Happy Stay In Mortality Night
Season 1: Episode 16
The continuation of Coach E's Happy Leave Mortality Day. The BODH make a last-ditch effort to stop the bad guys from ending the world with a videotape.
Cast (in order of appearance): Honstlar, Gfdgsgxgzgdrc, SRMX12, Coach E, EDITED Video Greg, Stom, Dean, The Cleanser Geek, Grindolo, The Unguraits
Places: Pillquarters, Pillquarters Metallix, Crazy Go Nuts University, Dean's Video Dungeon
Date: Sunday, January 14, 2018 - Sunday, January 21, 2018
Running Time: 6:00
Transcript[edit | edit source]
{Open to the BODH in the remains of what was once the Pillquarters.}
EDITED VIDEO GREG: Hey, at least E survived.
COACH E: Who knew the solution to having someone kill you was to run like the Dickenzians?
HONSTLAR: Hey, what about us? We survived too! We were inside an actively exploding building and didn't burn up!
GFDGSGXGZGDRC: {on fire} Eh, can't speak for everyone.
SMRX12: I think he meant... you know, none of us were threatened to... What was this story about again, Paper Bag Player?
EDITED VIDEO GREG: E was gonna live the same day over and over again. You know like that Haruhi Suzumiya story arc everybody loathes?
HONSTLAR: I'm sorry, I don't speak nerd.
EDITED VIDEO GREG: Fine, it's more like Groundhog's Day.
HONSTLAR: Now that's a reference I can pronounce!
COACH E: We're standing in the burning remains of our blown-up former headquarters with nowhere else to go, and you're discussing which movie this is like?
HONSTLAR: Don't worry, juys, we can just make a new HQ!
GFDGSGXGZGDRC: But how are you going to do that?
HONSTLAR: Cuz', you know I always come prepared!
{Honstlar pulls out a metallic red and white pill (a P316 to be precise) and plants it in the ground. A metallic version of the Pillquarters appears.}
HONSTLAR: Introducing: Pillquarters Metallix!
EDITED VIDEO GREG: Wait, if you had a backup headquarters, how come you didn't use it back when Pom Pom kicked us out?
HONSTLAR: That's because this wonderful thing was my second thing I wished for with the Platinum Porkpie!
SRMX12: And why were you so distraught when the drone destroyed the first one?
HONSTLAR: For dramatic effect. Plus I really wanted to quote Charlton Heston.
EDITED VIDEO GREG: Well, there are worse ways to quote him. You coulda said—
{Cut to a Technical Difficulties screen (with The Cheat now stuck in the plug) reading "CENSORED FOR WHAT WOULD HAVE BEEN TOO POLITICAL A JOKE. I'LL GIVE YOU A HINT. ITS ABOUT GUNS."}
{Cut back to the Pillquarters Metallix where everything is hunky-dory.}
HONSTLAR: With that out of the way, allow me to tell you the benefits of Metallix! 80% more durability, increased strength for the Pillbox Megazord, Chameleon Circuit technology, and of course, a shiny new paint job. Now, let's get back on track and stop The Cleanser Geek from trapping all of Free Country in an endless loop. TO THE PILLMOBILE!
{The gang goes into the Pillquarters which quickly transforms into the Pillmobile and speeds off while a modified version of the theme from Beetleborgs Metallix plays in the background.}
SINGERS: Pillquarters Metallix! Pillquarters Metallix! (Metallix!) Big bad helmets! Pillquarters Metallix! Pillquarters Metallix!
{The music ends. Cut to Crazy Go Nuts University, where the Cleanser Geek and her lackeys are talking to Grindolo via videophone.}
THE CLEANSER GEEK: The plan is going flawlessly! Now that stupid Waddler and his cronies are without power, so they won't be able to stop us from forcing all of Earth to repeat the same day over and over!
GRINDOLO: Thus giving us the perfect opportunity to take over the planet!
THE CLEANSER GEEK: Hold up... how does this crap work? I had to kill Coach E every night in order to keep the loop going... so am I going to have to start the apocalypse every day in order to keep the loop going?
GRINDOLO: Pretty much.
THE CLEANSER GEEK: I am so game. {pulls out a VHS tape labeled "apocalypse curse or something"}
ALL UNGURAITS: Ut hoc articulo ultimo patiens omnibus aeternitatis...
{The Cleanser Geek puts the tape in a VCR/TV combo and is ready to press play until the Pillmobile crashes into the hiding spot of the Cult of Skaro— I mean the Cult of Dolo.}
HONSTLAR: Stahp right dere!
THE CLEANSER GEEK: Waddler?!
HONSTLAR: That's right, mein nutzy fraulein, you should know by now that nobody messes with the Broternal Order!
THE CLEANSER GEEK: Nobody except me. ATTACK!!
{The Unguraits charge toward the Order.}
HONSTLAR: Ready, guys?
THE REST: Ready!
HONSTLAR: It's morphin' time!
{Honstlar's belt, the Thyme-phoon appears on his body.}
HONSTLAR: HENSHIN! {jumps in the air while his Rider armour materializes} Kamen Honstlar! RX!
SRMX12: Trooper Transform! {holds up a weird brooch-type thing that glows} I! Are! VR! {the energy from the brooch forms his armor} Virtual Reality! VRMX12!
GFDGSGXGZGDRC: I'm still hungry for thyme! {the Zeonizer activates} Zeo Ranger G! Potato! {surrounded by a wireframe as his suit appears} Power Helmets! Z-O!
EDITED VIDEO GREG: That's faster then what is expected from that power set. {morphs into a non-catty version of Guido Anchovy} Grego Anchovy! You guys are going down-down! Right, Dean?
{Dean just stands there.}
EDITED VIDEO GREG: Come on, Dean, you're wasting time!
DEAN: I can't morph! I don't have a ranger form yet!
EDITED VIDEO GREG: Then why didn't you say so?
{He pulls out an extra morpher and hands it to Dean.}
EDITED VIDEO GREG: Just think of your favourite toku show.
DEAN: I got it! It's morphin' time!
STRONG BAD: DWAYNE!
{Dean shapshifts unto a pair of socks from Great Aunt Miltrudria.}
DEAN: Oops, let me try that again.
{The lightning thing happens.}
DEAN: SOMETHING THAT ISN'T AN INANIMATE OBJECT! {morphs into a Pre-Cure/Sailor Moon-type style} Now this is what I'm talking about! Sailor Dean!
COACH E: I got nothing, so I'll pass for this one.
STOM: {already in his Gavan armor} Space Sheriff Gavan!
HONSTLAR: CHARGE!!
SRMX12: Hey, emo wannabe, try this on for size! {throws a disc of energy at the Ungurait}
UNGURAIT #24: Ow, my vital organs!
{While they're distracted, the Cleanser Geek slowly backs away from the fight. She stealthily reaches over, grabs the remote, puts her thumb on the play button, and... is smacked away by Gavan.}
STOM: Not on my watch!
{Stom confiscates the videotape and gives it to the Potato Ranger, who eats it}
HONSTLAR: Ha ha! Now that the videotape is eaten, you'll never be able to—
{The Cleanser Geek quickly reaches over and presses play.}
HONSTLAR: Noooo!
{The tape begins.}
HONSTLAR: {on the TV; singing out of tune} iN tHe NoT tOo DiStAnT fUtUrE...
{The ear grating cover of the Love Theme from Mystery Science Theater 3000 continues in the background.}
THE CLEANSER GEEK: What the crap?!
HONSTLAR: Argh, this is so embarrassing!
THE CLEANSER GEEK: What happened to the cursed tape?
GFDGSGXGZGDRC: I ate it, duh!
STOM: And while you were busy blinking, I quickly put in a tape of Honstlar singing the MST3K theme song to cancel the effects of your twisted time loop!
{Fade to later. The entire BODH sans Coach E, who is filling the role of Gypsy, is gathered in front of the TV in Dean's Video Dungeon in a familiar silhouetted position against the screen. Dean herself is filling the role of Cambot.}
EDITED VIDEO GREG: Well, since that's over with, I guess playing that tape won't curse the universe, so... here we go.
{Gfd plays it with his stomach. The video begins.}
HONSTLAR: {at the 0:01 mark} WHAT THE CRAP ARE THOSE THINGS?!?
GFDGSGXGZGDRC: I think that one on the right is some kinda penguin.
EDITED VIDEO GREG: {at the 0:10 mark} Graphic design is my passion.
SRMX12: {at the 0:14 mark} THE CARS ARE ATTACKING!!!
HONSTLAR: {at the 0:16 mark} {in a Russian accent} It is me, Vladimir Nelson!
ALL: {at the 0:23 mark} AAHH!
HONSTLAR: They did save Hitler's brain!
STOM: And his constipated body too, apparently.
EDITED VIDEO GREG: {at the 0:30 mark} Riffception. BWAWP!!
HONSTLAR: {at the 0:35 mark} Run, the demons are back!
SMRX12: That non penguin thing looks like a Dalek cosplaying Clifford.
EDITED VIDEO GREG:: Erm... something about Zangief? Look, I already blocked out my Russian Literature course in high school years ago, got nothing to work with.
STOM: {at the 0:44 mark} Ketchup? What kinda name is Ketchup?!
GFDGSGXGZGDRC: Those aminals are sure terrifying.
HONSTLAR: {at the 0:54 mark} Don't you laugh at me, you felt freak!
EDITED VIDEO GREG: I'm guessing this show's version of the mantra is "Too many questions will result in death."
{The video ends.}
{Fade to later. Honstlar is cleaning up around the remains of the old Pillmobile.}
HONSTLAR: Well, that was an experience. {spots another crashed drone.} That's strange. {reading the metal calling card} This Ziktor Industries brand EyeSpi camera drone is property of "EDITED Video" Gregory... Dando?!
{A "dun-dun-dun" dramatic string is heard. Cut to a screen reading "TO BE CONTINUED NEXT SEASON".}
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