Broternal Order Of Different Helmets/Broternally Prepared Meat

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Honstlar and Arsene V. Greg in
Broternally Prepared Meat

(We open on an exterior shot of Arsene ringing Honstlar's doorbell)
Honstlar: This better not be Avon again!
(Cut to the other side of the door, as Honstlar opens it.)
Honstlar: Oh, it's just you.
AVG: Well, even though you gave me a coloring page instead of directions to your house, I made it in time for lunch.
Honstlar: Well, I'm glad you did, because this is gonna be one for the rekkid books!
AVG: Yeah, right.
(AVG walks to the table while Honstlar walks to the kitchen, where he sees a small fire inside the oven)
Honstlar: Gasp!
(Honstlar opens the oven door, revealing a small meat thing on fire.)
Honstlar: Oh crap, My non-specific meat roast is burnt! Lunch is ruined.
(Honstlar notices a Blubb-o's from outside his window.)
Honstlar: Or is it...
(Honstlar sticks his foot out the window, just as Arsene walks in.)
Honstlar: Dah, Arsene! I was just... doing some stretches through the window, it's surprisingly refreshing. Wanna join me?
AVG: First of all, no, second of all, why is there smoke coming out of your oven?
Honstlar: That? That's not smoke, no, It's... steam! After all, you can't have steamed clams without steam.
AVG: O-kaaay.
(AVG walks out.)
Honstlar: Phew!
(Honstlar goes through the window and runs to the Blubb-O's. We then cut to AVG sitting on the table while Honstlar walks in with a platter of burgers garnished with potato nudules.)
Honstlar: (In a sing-songy tone) I hope you like burgers! Cause that's what I made! I should probably stop talking like this!
AVG: Wait, I thought you said we were having steamed clams.
Honstlar: You must have misheard me, I clearly said steamed hams. That's what I call hamburgers.
AVG: Seriously?
Honstlar: Yeah, it's a regional saying.
AVG: What region?
Honstlar: The region we're in?
AVG: Really, well I've lived in Corndale for most of my life, and not once did I hear anyone call a burger a steamed ham.
Honstlar: No, not in Corndale, it's strictly a Dockoville expression.
AVG: I see.
(They start eating for a bit.)
AVG: These burgers kinda remind me of the New Old Classic Original or whatever the heck it's called at Blubb-O's.
Honstlar: (In a comical dramatic tone) How dare you compare a Waddler family recipe to lowly fast food!
AVG: A family recipe for steamed hams.
Honstlar: Yeah.
AVG: And you call them steamed hams even though they are not actually made of ham and obviously grilled.
(We see that smoke is coming out of the kitchen door.)
Honstlar: Well- You see- Everyone- Excuse me for a moment.
(Honstlar runs into the kitchen door, revealing that the room is on fire and quickly returns.)
Honstlar: *yawn* Well, that was a good burger if you ask me, now I gotta go poop.
AVG: I guess I should do the- GOOD GRAVY, WHAT IS HAPPENING IN THERE?!?
Honstlar: Uh... Aurora Borealis?
AVG: Uh- Aurora Borealis?! At this time of year, at this time of day, in this part of the country, LOCALIZED ENTIRELY WITHIN YOUR KITCHEN?!?!?!?
Honstlar: Yes.
(Brief silence.)
AVG: That's it? That's all you could come up with?
Honstlar: (Monotone) Yes.
(Cut to outside the door, where AVG walks out.)
Boobtube: (Offscreen) Blurb!* (Honstlar, the house is on fire!)
Honstlar: No, Boobtube, it's just the northern lights.
AVG: Well, Waddler, you are a very weird man-type-thing, but I must say, you steam a good ham! D-did I get that right?
Honstlar: Precisely.
AVG: Good. I may just use that next week in Corndale when I give my speech to the Union of Fairly Fine Fibbers. I’ll tell them all about the “Aurora” in your kitchen too. Thanks again.
(AVG walks away, as we hear the smoke detector go off.)
Boobtube: Blurb, blurb!* (Help, help!)
Honstlar: You're a fish, remember?
Boobtube: Blurb... Blurb-blurb!* (Oh... Nevermind!)
END.