The History of a Runner/4

Chapter 4: Life, Liberty, and Pudding the Pursuit of Happiness
Here's what G and H learned about the new..."changes" of the participants:
 * The newlyweds, Henry and Margaret Runn, have now been transformed to just boyfriend and girlfriend, Homestar Runner and Marzipan.
 * Manny, Beck, and Samuel Strong, while still holding their personalities to some extent, have now morphed into Strongs Mad, Bad, and Sad, respectively. Their golden retriever Corey has also turned into an unidentified species, simply called "The Cheat."
 * Mr. Cephas Zachary has now become a (somewhat less incompetent) coach, now called Coach Z.
 * Pablo Perth, the local plumber, was now a dead-silent being referred to as "The Poopsmith."
 * Mr. Timothy Knight was now referred to as the King of whatever town they claimed to come from.
 * Paul Parker somehow became a big yellow blob simply called "Pom Pom." Everyone said he was from the Isle of Pom. Neither agent knew what that meant.
 * Mr. Benny C. Stanza became a local concession stand owner that everyone called "Bubs."
 * Homer, the head trauma patient, was now a nonsensical being with the word "homsar" written on his shirt.

With this information, they decided to relocate the participants to another room on the other side of the building, where they could stay until they figured out what had happened with the Egon Sciuntid, how it managed to transform them, and what they could do about it.

****

It had been one and a half months since the Incident (everyone at AISS had decided to call it that) had happened. The room they had been relocated to had nothing in it but enough beds for everybody and a large window that served enough light to illuminate the room during the day. Since any and all items the participants had brought with them for the test had been confiscated, they were...well...

"Oh, I'm so BORED!" Strong Bad cried for what had to have been the tenth time that week.

"'Ey, come orn, Strong Bad. It's not too baerd," Coach Z told him. "This could be a bornding time between the orl of us."

"I know!" Homestar said. "Why don't we all sing a song?" He started humming along to one of his favorites. "Doot! Doot-doot-doot! Doot-doot&mdash;"

"UGH!" Strong Bad groaned. He looked longingly at the window, so tauntingly out of reach. "I've gotta get outta here."

"Now howya think you're gonna do that?" queried Bubs. Strong Bad, not for the first time, thought hard about what to do. Suddenly, his brain had an idea.

Five minutes later, he managed to get everyone to stack up in a giant column, with him and The Cheat on top. Thanks to the size, the windowsill reached around the same height as Strong Bad's chin. "Well, you managed to reach the window," Bubs continued. "Now what are we gonna do?"

"Oh..." Strong Bad said. "Well, it's a very complicated step. Just give me a minute to...figure out how I'm gonna say it..." Crap! he thought. I can't believe I didn't think this through! Marzipan rolled her eyes further down the column. He was just on the verge of revealing he didn't know how when he felt The Cheat reach out for something.

"No! The Cheat!  No!" The Cheat was reaching for a balloon that a child must have accidentally let go of. "No! I said no!" Giggling was heard from the others. "Shut up!" Eventually, The Cheat grabbed hold of the balloon, and started playing with it, holding tightly to it, until the unthinkable happened.

He swallowed it.

Suddenly, The Cheat swelled up, and Strong Bad, who had been grasping tightly to The Cheat the entire time, felt himself lift up. A smile appeared on his face. "Everybody! Grab tight to the person above you!" he ordered. In a matter of seconds, The Cheat managed to fly out the window, carrying everybody out with him. For about half a minute, they all experienced a rushing sense of freedom, finally escaping the grasps of AISS.

That didn't last for long, however, as the King of Town's weight suddenly gave in, and they fell to the ground with a thud. The column of people collapsed.

Strong Bad had many a bruise on himself, but he didn't care. He barely noticed. He was only thinking about one thing.

He was free.

Fun Facts

 * "Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Happiness" may very well be the most famous words in the Declaration of Independence, written in 1776 by Thomas Jefferson to declare that the USA was splitting from Great Britain. The crossed-out "pudding" in the title is a reference to the "poorbt-mail" email from Other Character Email Tampo, a fanstuff from the original Fanstuff Wiki.
 * Coach Z's original first name is a reference to Cephas from Cornwall, CA. "The Corn Army is no match for A Mighty Warrior!"
 * The Poopsmith's original name is a reference to names Strong Bad gave two email senders, a combination of their first name and location: "Pablo Phoenix" who sent "flag day" and "Paul Perth" who sent "more armies."
 * Strong Bad's first line is a reference to "Strong Bad's Message Bored."
 * It probably didn't come to you when you read it, but the song Homestar began humming was "Back in Black" by AC/DC, the song he sang in the Easter egg in "Marzipan's Answering Machine Version 7.0."
 * The Cheat swallowing the balloon is a reference to "helium."