Strong Badathlon/2012/Training

Welcome to the Training Center for the 2012 Strong Badathlon! Here, you can train for the event(s) you are competing in.

Here are some rules to keep in mind:
 * 1) You have one week to train. Make it count!
 * 2) Despite this, don't push yourself too much. Because if you hurt yourself, we'd have to go through medical insurance and lawyers and blah blah legal stuff blah blah.
 * 3) The use of athletic performance enhancement powder or any type of steroid is strictly prohibited. Any use of one of these items (i.e. Total Load) will cause you to be disqualified from the games, forcing us to cancel an event, and who wants to do that?
 * 4) Likewise, any form of cheating is forbidden. The same punishment applies for taking steroids.

Coach Z is the trainer for this week, so if you have any questions, ask him.

Alright, now get to training!
( h ≡ r picks up a remote and throws it. The remote lands seven feet in front of him.)

h ≡ r : That's not enough to win, that's for sure.

( h ≡ r picks the remote up and throws it again. This time, the remote lands eight feet in front of him.)

h ≡ r : Closer, but not quite there yet.

( h ≡ r repeats the event 18 more times. The final time, the remote lands 18 feet in front of him.)

h ≡ r : That's probably enough to win. (turns to face Coach Z) Now, what do I do for the Clean and Jerk Strong Mad's Underwears Over His Head?

COACH Z: You don't aerctually have to clean 'em.

h ≡ r : That's all I need to know.

( h ≡ r puts on a pair of white gloves and grabs hold of Strong Mad's underwears. He then walks back twenty feet and jumps. Coach Z takes out a measuring tape and measures  h ≡ r 's result.)

COACH Z: Ten feet! A new record! (He pronounces "record" as "re-cord.")

( h ≡ r repeats the event ten more times. His final result is 30 feet.)

h ≡ r : Okay, the last event is Probably Something With Guitars, Lasers, Robots, and Hot Girls.

(A hole appears in the ground, and h ≡ r  jumps into it. He ends up in Powered by The Cheat world, where Probably Something With Guitars, Lasers, Robots, and Hot Girls takes place.)

h ≡ r : Okay, what do I need to do here. (to Coach Z) Don't tell me! Let me figure it out myself.

( h ≡ r removes his white gloves and puts on laser gloves. He destroys thirteen robots in one minute. A woman with a green-and-white striped shirt walks by; when she walks past  h ≡ r, he can be seen through the green stripes.)

COACH Z: I know what's comin'...

h ≡ r : Check it out! I won the best medal!

(Note: Good Medal: 1 to 4 robots; Better Medal: 5 to 9 robots; Best Medal: 10 or more robots)

COACH Z: Oh! I thot he'd say "hello nurse" or somethin' like that!

h ≡ r : Okay. Hello, Nurse!

COACH Z: And there's the "hello nurse" we were missing.

( h ≡ r and Coach Z are transported out of Powered by The Cheat world and back to the other events of the Strong Badathlon.)