Homestar Runner: The Next Generation

'''Homestar Runner: The Next Generation

A story by Coach E

It was a beautiful day in Free Country USA and everybody everybody was enjoying themselves. Bubs Jr was hugging and kissing Olympia but she wasn’t very happy about it though. Bubs Jr went to his father’s concession stand, telling him “What would it be like in the next 10 years, dad?” Bubs laughed his blue head off “Oh, you’re crazy, son!” he laughed “Kids always ask those questions. I bet you’ll marry Olympia and you’ll both have kids of your own.” Bubs Jr clapped his hands, smiled and giggled. “Oh, I can’t wait until I’m older! Olympia shall be my bride and we’ll live together and…” He carried on talking until Bubs got a headache.

Bubs took out a small bottle of liquid out of his concession stand and showed it to his son. “If you want to go to the next decade and marry Olympia, you can.” said Bubs “Take this 10 years later potion, it’ll make you and other people older then they are now. And maybe when you’re older, I’ll let you work in the concession stand.”

“Wow! Awesomeness!” smiled Bubs Jr “I won’t have to wait to become an adult! I can do it instantly!” Coach Z was about to take his daughter Olympia home until he saw Bubs Jr with the potion in his hand. “What ‘cha got dere?” Olympia interrupted “Probably one of his dad Bubs’ stupid fake products.” Bubs Jr told Coach Z about the 10 years later potion. “It will make you older then you are now! If I drink it, the whole world and everybody everybody will change!” Coach Z was shocked “Does this mean…?!” Bubs Jr nodded “Holy gorsh!” Coach Z was worried “Whartever ya do, don’t drink dat portion then!” Bubs interrupted “Oh, will you shut up and let him go!”

Bubs Jr disobeyed Coach Z and drank the potion anyway. “Oh geez!” cried Coach Z, with his hands covering his eyes. Bubs Jr had a funny feeling in his belly “Oh, uhh what’s happening?”

Well, it looks like Free Country USA has changed a lot this time! Bubs Jr woke up, looking at himself. “What the heck?!” he gasped “I’m so fat!” He walked around Free Country USA and loads of his fellow citizens have aged a lot. Olympia tapped Bubs Jr’s shoulder “Hi there, Bubsy Jr.” Bubs Jr admired Olympia’s body “You’re so beautiful, Olympia! Now that we’re adults, we can get married!” Olympia folded her arms and nodded her head aggressively. “I don’t think so, pal!”

Homestar Runner and Marzipan have aged quite a lot, there is a little grey in Marzipan’s hair and Homestar is...well… almost the same (we love Homestar). They were preparing dinner for their kids Homestar Runner Jr, Marzistar and Homezipan. “The table is looking good there, Marzipan.” smiled Homestar “Thanks, Homey. I’ve made a nice vegetarian meal for me, myself and I and the rest of you are welcome to have whatever’s on the dinner table. Homestar Jr knocked on the door “Oh, the kids are here!” said Homestar, and answered the door. “I’m so glad you kids are here. I’ve cooked some of these lovely meals.”

At the house of The Brothers Strong, the house was very messy and it smelled bad. Strong Bad had a new computer (one that floats) and a Cheat-pup since The Cheat sadly passed away, due to old age. Cheats live as long as a dog can. Strong Mad was in his room, trashing it with wrappers, food items and old toys. But what ever happened to our Strong Sad? Is he still around? He left his hand-written graphic novels in his room and his room seems to have cracked walls and cobwebs. It could be haunted! Strong Bad was claiming that Strong Sad has died, but I doubt that’s true.

Strong Sad’s wife Hannah was upset, crying her eyes out because Strong Bad told her that her husband died. Strong Sad’s older daughter Natalie grew up into a fine but aggressive 18-year-old and his younger daughter Sarah grew up into a gothic teenager. Although she looked gothic, she’s still the sweet little girl that everybody loved. Don’t worry, our wonderful Depressio Strong Sad is still very much alive, and he came back as a ghost. Sarah was in her room, alone with a tear down her eye because she missed her father so much (she even wrote a biography about him in the future). Suddenly, she heard a voice. A voice that sounded soft, calm and yes, depressing. “Dad, is that you?” Strong Sad’s voice replied “Yes it is, my dear. Listen to your father.” Sarah can see Strong Sad’s ghost and she smiled. “I thought you were dead!” Strong Sad told his daughter that everything’s going to be okay and he’ll still be there for her.

Our Pom Pom was still texting his girlfriends and is married to one of them. They have raised a family of poms and they’re so cute!

Coach Z seems to have aged quite a bit! Just look at that little bit of beard on his chin and all those empty bottles of Listerine! Could that be a sign of stress? Is Coach Z stressed about his daughter becoming an adult? Well, whatever it is, he seems to have trashed the sports centre with Listerine bottles, faeces, toiletries and all that crap! “Oh, what a life! Bubs Jr is engaged with my beautiful daughter. I’m so prord of my little girl!” Charity (Coach Z’s wife) kissed him and told him that everything was going to be okay. “She’s got a life to live now, Coach Z. Kids grow up so fast.”

Bubs has, well aged a lot! Look at him sat there in his concession stand. He’s about to retire and let his son sell all the crazy crap. We’ll have to call him Old Bubs from now on cuz he’s got a walking stick and his back hurts. “Well, Bubs Jr. The concession stand is all yours!” Is Bubs’ wife Babs still around? Oh yes, she is! She’s sitting at home, looking at her photo album of family photos from the past. “Bubs, here’s our son when he was just born.” she said and had a tear down her eye. “Oh, and here he is meeting Coach Z’s daughter for the first time!” said Bubs.

Bubs Jr was looking in the window of The King of Town’s castle. “Strange!” he said “Where is he?” The Poopsmith saw Bubs Jr, holding up a sign saying ‘HALT! Who goes there?’ Bubs Jr sighed, “Oh, I’m sorry about that, Poopsmith. I promise I won’t do it again.” The Poopsmith accepted his apology and broke his vow of silence “It’s okay, man. Lots of people are wondering what happened to The King of Town in the next 10 years.” “What happened to him?” Bubs Jr asked.

“Well, everybody was happy that the KOT was gone for good.” said The Poopsmith. “He died from old age, apparently.” Bubs Jr’s face fell. “Then, who’s gonna rule the town then?”

“His good son The Prince of Town.” The Poopsmith told Bubs Jr. “I must admit, he’s a better ruler then The King of Town would ever be. He even let me retire from digging up whatsit.” “Well, that’s good for you then.” said Bubs Jr.

“I gotta go now, Poopsmith.” said Bubs Jr. The Poopsmith’s face fell. “Oh, aren’t you going to stay for some cookie dough?” Bubs Jr was in a hurry “I’ve got to run the concession stand. My dad left it for me since he’s retiring too.”

Bubs Jr went to Bubs’ Concession Stand and worked hard. “This place could deal with an improvement. Now, let me.” Bubs Jr cleaned up the stand and threw away any wrappers lying around. “We don’t need these anymore…” Bubs Jr took out a ladder, went on the roof and took down the ‘BUBS CONCES5ION STAND’ sign “And we don’t need this anymore.”

Homestar Runner walked by to buy something from the concession stand, but he saw that Bubs Jr was putting up a new sign. “Aww, you should’ve just kept the old sign up there.” he cried “I put up a new sign without any typos. It’s meant to say ‘Bubs Jr’s Concession Stand.” The sign says ‘BUBS JR’S CONCE$$ION STAND’ “I thought those two S’s could look like dollar signs.

Bubs Jr put the finishing touches to Bubs’ Concession Stand, by painting it and making it attractive. Bubs was walking along to see how his son was doing. “Son, you’ve made my stand a better place. The painting of you and me looks great! Now, everyone will know that it used to belong to me and I’m letting you own it.”

“Are you a licensed concession stand owner, Bubs Jr?” asked Homestar. Bubs Jr showed Homestar a photo of him gratulated, showing off his certificate. “I am now, Homestar”

“Well, Bubs Jr” said Coach Z “You’ve done a great jorb, taking over your dad’s stand.” Bubs Jr smiled and said “Thanks, Coach Z!”

Bubs Jr and Olympia got married and raised two kids. The boy who resembles Coach Z and the girl who resembles Bubs.