Inanimate Objects in Decidedly Non-Inanimate Situations/Humidibot's Hiatus Halloween



Synopsis: All Humidibot wants to do is show everyone how hard he worked on his Halloween costume.

Transcript
''{The scene is The Field on a fall afternoon. Humidibot rolls along, dressed as Robot from Lost in Space}''

HUMIDIBOT: Hey F-Sack! Hey F-Sack?

{The sack is nowhere in sight}

HUMIDIBOT: I guess everyone is at home.

''{He rolls himself to Homestar Runner's house and rings the doorbell. A moment later, Homestar answers it}''

HUMIDIBOT: Hello! I'm Humidibot!

HOMESTAR RUNNER: You're a little too early to be dressin' up, aren't you?

HUMIDIBOT: I couldn't wait! I gotta show everybody!

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Well, I think it's great! Best however-many-bucks-it-cost you ever spent!

HUMIDIBOT: Cardboard Marzy? Is she around?

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Nope, sorry. I put the old cardboard away until next episode of Decidedly Objects.

HUMIDIBOT: That's too bad.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Hey, you want to join me a few days from now for my Halloween episode?

HUMIDIBOT: Thank you for the offer! But I don't think I would be welcome unless I win the competition. 'Cuz I'm only Humidibot.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: As the lead star from Characters Website, I can officially welcome you to the post-standing around in the Spooky Woods afterparty.

HUMIDIBOT: {gasp} You would do that for me, Humidibot?

HOMESTAR RUNNER: I totally can.

HUMIDIBOT: Wow! Amazing! Anyway, is Frank Bennedetto inside?

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Oh, uh... we don't let civilians in the Homestarmy barracks. But if you have five bucks to serve your col-o-nel...

HUMIDIBOT: Ooh! Hot dang! I gotta find some bucks!

{He quickly wheels out of there}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Bye! I really like your Dalek costume! Bye!

''{Humidibot wheels around in search of ways to make five bucks. He comes across the Drive-Thru Whale}''

DRIVE-THRU WHALE: Welcome to Blubb-O's!

HUMIDIBOT: Whale! Can I borrow five bucks?

DRIVE-THRU WHALE: Tear off a piece of your soul for me, madam.

HUMIDIBOT: No, money! Five dolla bill!

DRIVE-THRU WHALE: Half the sugar at twice the price! Free with proof of leg-have.

{The whale plays his crackly drive-thru jingle and moves his flume up and down}

HUMIDIBOT: Well, do you like my costume, at least?

DRIVE-THRU WHALE: Thank you for drowning with us, Senator.

HUMIDIBOT: You're welcome, I guess.

DRIVE-THRU WHALE: See you again in your nightmares.

{Humidibot wheels his way over to the Brothers Strong house next}

HUMIDIBOT: This must be where the rest of the gang hangs out.

{He rings the doorbell}

STRONG BAD: {overheard} You get it! I'm still thinking of costume ideas!

''{Soft thumps are heard. Eventually, Strong Sad answers the door}''

STRONG SAD: Hello?

HUMIDIBOT: It is I, Humidibot!

STRONG SAD: Oh, it's you. What are you doing here?

HUMIDIBOT: I have it on good authority that F-Sack, Scotty, and the Lappier can be found here.

STRONG SAD: Right. You're in that reality show, what's the name... Battle for H*R?

HUMIDIBOT: Close enough! Can I come in?

STRONG SAD: Just avoid the basement. We're kind of busy down there.

{He opens the door for Humidibot}

HUMIDIBOT: Er... I can't go up stairs!

{Strong Sad blinks}

STRONG SAD: Tell you what. I can send them out to meet you.

HUMIDIBOT: You can't help me up?

STRONG SAD: {pats his belly} The spirit is willing but the paunch is weak.

HUMIDIBOT: Oh man!

{Strong Sad goes back inside, and moments later comes back with Scotty Titi}

STRONG SAD: He's the easiest one to get.

HUMIDIBOT: Great to see you, Scotty!

{Scotty Titi stares}

STRONG SAD: I think F-Sack is in the basement.

{He goes back inside once again}

HUMIDIBOT: So, who do think has the best chance of winning the main prize?

{Scotty doesn't respond}

HUMIDIBOT: Don't know? Me neither.

{They are silent for a few moments}

HUMIDIBOT: You know, what I like about you is you're such a good listener. Even if you're not much for conversation.

{Soon, Strong Sad brings F-Sack to the front door}

HUMIDIBOT: {gasp} Hey, F-Sack!

F-SACK: {shocked} What?! I don't want to talk to this wierdobot!

STRONG SAD: Not my problem.

{He goes back in a third time}

HUMIDIBOT: Hey, F-Sack, like my costume?

F-SACK: I would like it better without you in it.

HUMIDIBOT: You're funny! What costume are you planning to wear?

F-SACK: Well, if you must know, I'll be Felix the Cat's Magic Bag.

HUMIDIBOT: Super cool!

F-SACK: I suppose it is.

HUMIDIBOT: Can I borrow five bucks?

F-SACK: You didn't come here just for that, did you?

HUMIDIBOT: Well... I kinda want to chat with Frank.

F-SACK: Ugh...

{Strong Sad peeks his head out}

STRONG SAD: I'm not allowed to touch Strong Bad's computer. Sorry, you'll have to ask him yourself.

HUMIDIBOT: I know how to get him out.

STRONG SAD: Hm?

HUMIDIBOT: {calls up to the window} Hey! I just found this stash of cake at stake and I'm about to eat it all!

{He hears a crash as the Lappier leaps through the plate glass window}

LAPPIER: {serious} Don't touch that cake, you--

{He lands and sees nobody is eating cake after all}

LAPPIER: Oh. Only you.

HUMIDIBOT: You ready for the Halloween season?

LAPPIER: I'll be busy checking Strong Bad's tweetmail.

HUMIDIBOT: That's too bad. Can I borrow me some five bucks?

LAPPIER: We don't have that kind of relationship. I'm like your boss, except I don't pay you.

HUMIDIBOT: I want to join the Homestarmy!

LAPPIER: How's it feel to want?

HUMIDIBOT: Oh dang it!

{He wheels off}

HUMIDIBOT: How do I meet my good pal Frank now?

{He sees a note on the ground}

HUMIDIBOT: Oh?

{The note reads, "Come to the Spooky Woods"}

HUMIDIBOT: I never disobey a piece of paper!

{He wheels himself to the middle of the spooky woods and waits}

HUMIDIBOT: What could I possibly find out here?

{The current members of IODNIS, including Cardboard Marzipan and Frank Bennedetto, and everybody in their costumes as well, begin to assemble behind Humidibot}

HUMIDIBOT: Perhaps a pumpkin? Perhaps a spooky branch?

CARDBOARD MARZIPAN: SURPRISE!

EVERYONE ELSE: {bored} Eh, surprise, I guess...

HUMIDIBOT: {jumps up} WHOA! Everyone!

CARDBOARD MARZIPAN: Yeah, we all decided to do something nice for you!

F-SACK: You said there'd be snacks.

DRIVE-THRU WHALE: Try our powdered beef bunions.

HUMIDIBOT: {amazed} You made a surprise party just for me?

CARDBOARD MARZIPAN: It's not a party, no. More like a surprise stand-around-and-hang-out.

HUMIDIBOT: Just as good!

FRANK BENNEDETTO: So what kind of activities will there be?

CARDBOARD MARZIPAN: The old classic. Stand around and comment on each other's costumes!

LAPPIER: And remember, I'm still looking for more votes. If you haven't yet voted on IODNIS episode 7, go do so right now!

''{The camera zooms out. The names of each object pop up along with their costume}''

[Humidibot as Robot (Lost in Space)]

HUMIDIBOT: Hey, hey guys, I realized no one ever loaned me the five bucks to join the Homestarmy!

CARDBOARD MARZIPAN: Isn't it just awful? That old washed-up Homestar never does a body a favor. Here.

{She hands Humidibot an expired coupon for cat food}

HUMIDIBOT: Wow! If I was a cat and it was five years ago, this would be useful! Thanks!

CARDBOARD MARZIPAN: Anytime, my friend.

[Cardboard Marzipan as Cardboard Michael Jordan (Home Alone)]

LAPPIER: You should have been here in episode 1B. You would have dominated those Blubb-O's.

CARDBOARD MARZIPAN: I actually think basketball is oppressive to women.

F-SACK: Can I get some of "Michael's Secret Stuff" or did Bugs Bunny get the last of it?

CARDBOARD MARZIPAN: Stop it! Get some help!

[F-Sack as Felix the Cat's Magic Bag]

HUMIDIBOT: Hey F-Sack! If I reach in there, what will I get?

F-SACK: A crowbar to the face maybe.

HUMIDIBOT: Danger, Will Robinson! Danger!

[Scotty Titi as Not Me (Family Circus)]

STRONG BAD: {peeks his head in} Alright, who broke my good window?

LAPPIER: Not me!

FRANK BENEDETTO: Not me.

CARDBOARD MARZIPAN: It was Biscuitdoughhandsman!

STRONG BAD: I knew it!

{He retreats offscreen}

[Drive-Thru Whale as Moby-Dick]

DRIVE-THRU WHALE: From hamburger's heart I serve thee; for shake's sake I spit thine change at thee.

HUMIDIBOT: Call me Humidibot!...cuz I'm Humidibot!

[Frank Bennedetto as Snoopy Sno-Cone Machine]

HUMIDIBOT: Can I have a sno-cone?

FRANK BENEDETTO: I'm still a popcorn popper. I just dressed as a sno-cone machine.

HUMIDIBOT: Does not compute! Does not compute!

LAPPIER: It's not that hard to understand, is it...

[Lappier as Nintendo DS]

LAPPIER: Check it out. I got Pokemon Mystery Dungeon running on here.

{His monitor displays the Explorers of Sky version of the game}

HUMIDIBOT: Ooh, ooh! Where's my stylus?!

{A giant stylus pops out of F-Sack's sack}