Review Revue/Whatsit Pile Tikes Cereal

The universe is all about balance. Land and sea. Sun and moon. Muffin tops and bottoms. That’s why the next logical, equalizing step for FYE after making a picturesquely peaceful Marzipan cereal would have to be something both revolting and soul-squirming.

Perhaps forged from society’s collective reaction to Maple Bacon Donut Cereal, Whatsit Pile Tikes Cereal will bring upchuck-inspired marbits to enjoy in your kitchen, bathroom, or vomitorium.

As always, FYE is known for releasing $10+ collectible cereals like these, boasting pop cultural icons and generally generically flavored cereals that make better curio cabinet staples than pantry stockers. Whatsit Pile Tikes Cereal changes the typical oat-ringed equation slightly, swapping in “Crazy” rosy rice crisps. And for all the initial gross-out power the barf-bit marshmallows bring, there’s no indication that they’re anything more than colored sugar cylinders.

Guess they couldn’t reach the folks at Bertie Botts in time.

And in true WBT fashion, there are trading cards inside, as well. I’m not much of a fan of the series itself, but as long as this line has nothing to do with the uncanny creepiness of the Whatsit Pile Tikes Movie, I’m content condoning this cereal—mostly for its historical value as the first, and hopefully last, cereal themed after human bodily fluids.

Now I can safely shelf my idea for a Strong Badman ice cream-colored cereal themed after the four humors.