Broternal Order Of Different Helmets/Christmas What?

Season 2: Episode 2

When Mr. Dando forces the King of Town to outlaw Decemberween, it's up to the BODH to save Decemberween and Christmas at the same time.

Cast (in order of appearance): Honstlar,, EDITED Video Greg, Homestar Runner, The King of Town, The Poopsmith, Homsar, Senor Cardgage, Mr. Dando, SRMX12, Coach E, Stom, Dean, Coach Z, Grindolo, Poopertroopers, The Pretender, The Cleanser Geek, Police Firemen, Bubs, Strong Bad

Places: Honstlar's House, Mr. Dando's House, The King of Town's Castle, Pillquarters Metallix, The Field, House of the Brothers Strong, The Stick, Dean's Video Dungeon, Locker Room

Date: Sunday, December 4, 2017 - Sunday, December 19, 2017

Running Time: 18:11

Transcript
{Fade into a shot of Honstlar's house decorated for Christmas.}

HONSTLAR: {humming to the tune of Jingle Bells}

{The doorbell rings.}

HONSTLAR: Someone's at the door. It better not be that annoying Telemarketer's Witness again. {opens the door}



HONSTLAR: Cousin! Come on in!

{holds up an empty cardboard box}

HONSTLAR: A cardboard box? You do care! Merry Christmas&mdash; I mean Decemberween!



HONSTLAR: Are you saying you don't know what Christmas is?



HONSTLAR: I call bull honkey for two reasons. One, the word has been thrown around for years. And two, I sent you letters every December back when I lived in Dockoville!



HONSTLAR: Look, allow me to explain.

FRENCH NARRATOR: One explanation later...

HONSTLAR: ...And then Santa returns to the North Pole to prepare for next year.



EDITED VIDEO GREG: That makes sense.

Where'd you come from all of the suddens?

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {walks in from the left, holding a sandwich, as he leaves the house} I've been giving him lessons on breakin' into people's houses when it's convenient.

HONSTLAR: Sweet styles.

I've always wondered why they aren't called Decemberween lights.

EDITED VIDEO GREG: Some people got upset at the fact that the former name used our King of Town's name in vain.

{The King of Town appears dressed as Santa, with the Poopsmith as a reindeer.}

THE KING OF TOWN: What's this about veiny body parts that should be filled with sauce?

HONSTLAR: Poopsmith, man, you don't look so good crossdressing.

THE POOPSMITH: {holds up sign reading "What?"}

HONSTLAR: Don't you know that despite the lies Rankin-Bass told you, Kingta's reindeer are actually female and therefore means Rudolph was in fact&mdash;

EDITED VIDEO GREG: Who the actual giblets puts research into this crap?

''{Homsar and Senor Cardgage appear, dressed as the devil from Santa Claus vs. the Devil and Chris Christmas Ridriguez respectively. Greg has also inexplicably donned Nostalgia Critic's outfit from the "I Love Christmas" song.}''

HONSTLAR: Oh, come on! What is this, "Which Ween 2: THOSE Ween Costumes"?! It seems every time I'm here Greg has us all dress up!

He can only express himself in existing IP, remember?

EDITED VIDEO GREG: Don't worry, you guys don't have to dress. But I felt I should explain: the KOT complained about the name Christmas when he was the Prince of Town so we changed it. That's it.

HONSTLAR: That makes no sense. Christmas didn't have the Thnikkaman! Christmas didn't have legal trouble with Listerine! PEOPLE WOULD NEVER GET AWAY WITH LOCKING THEIR BABY BROTHER IN THE BATHTUB SO THEY WOULDN'T EVER BE HAPPY ON CHRISTMAS!

EDITED VIDEO GREG: Woah, calm down.

HONSTLAR: Sorry guys, I just get really angry about that kinda stuff.

{Cut to a shot of a telescope looking at the events currently happening.}



MR. DANDO: But not by me. I've always hated Decemberween. The whole dang season! I hate the Thnikkaman. I hate the mouthwash. I hate the blank media. And I especially hate the noise, noise, noise. If there's one thing I can't stand, it's al the noise, noise, noise, NOISE! That's it! I'm banning Decemberween!

{Cut to the King of Town who is wearing an "Anti-Sauce Joke Patch".}

KING OF TOWN: You want me to do what?!

MR. DANDO: You heard me, Kingy! Ban this terrible holiday once and for all!

KING OF TOWN: Hmm. Well, I don't see why not! {bans Decemberween}

''{Cut to the BODH, sans Honstlar, celebrating Decemberween in the Pillquarters. Dean is dressed in Jovie's mall outfit from Elf.}''

ALL: Decemberween, Decemberween, you're 55 days after Halloween!

{Cut to Honstlar lying down outside.}

HONSTLAR: It's Christmas but nobody is celebrating.

{Cut to inside.}

Guys... did you hear that?

COACH E: It sounded like...

SRMX12: Decemberween disappearing forever!



DEAN: Well, this isn't a big loss in my opinion. I mean, you guys were just complaining about how it's conflicting with this "Chris-mattress". I mean, just recently when I tried to get a Now We're Just Desperate for Publicity Gingerbread Spice Latte from Blubb-O's, they were complaining about no Thnikkaman references on the cup.

SRMX12: You do realize that's just Bubs when sleepwalking right?

EDITED VIDEO GREG: What?

SRMX12: He admitted to it last Halloween, remember?



COACH E: So what we does now?

HONSTLAR: {walks inside} There's only one thing we can do... we must save Decemberweenstmas!



SRMX12: First we need to figure out our plan.

{gets out a piece of paper and appears to scribble on it for one second, then gives it to SRMX12}

SRMX12: It just says "mayonnaise" repeatedly.

Luckily I've come prepared. {pulls several jars of mayonnaise out of his bowler hat}

EDITED VIDEO GREG: Yeah that's great. Isn't there anything else we can eat? That's hardly even a food. More like a condiment or a sauce.

KING OF TOWN: {poofing out of nowhere á la Donut Unto Others} SAUCESAUCESAUCESAUCESAUCESAUCE

STOM: Now look what you've done.

HONSTLAR: Where's an Anti-Sauce Joke Patch when you need one?

FRENCH NARRATOR: Later...

HONSTLAR: Okay, gang, we need to save the holiday and replace the holiday!

EDITED VIDEO GREG: What are you talking about?

HONSTLAR: If we introduce Christmas to Free Country while we legalize the holiday that replaced it, we can combine both into a super Christmas!



HONSTLAR: Let's split up! Greg, Dean, you guys will try to find out the specific reason Decemberween was banned so we can unban it. Garbles, SRMX12, you guys need to make a list, check it two times, make presents, and deliver them all in the Pillmobile. Coachy and Stom, you guys will help me teach the rest of the people about Christmas. Let's go!



{Cut to a piece of paper that just says "List".}

SRMX12: I got nothing.

Now we just need to check it. One... two. Done! That was quick. What else?

SRMX12: We have to to deliver presents.



SRMX12: NOT A BOWLER HAT OF MAYONNAISE. Besides, the short guy said we need to use the Pillmobile, remember?

Well, it's a good thing I brought the keys! {pulls out a VCR remote}

SRMX12: That's a remote, not keys.



NARRATOR: Meanwhile...

DEAN: Okay, I'm searching for anything relating to the ban. What are you doing?

EDITED VIDEO GREG: Binge-watching Kill La Kill. Just gonna mute it so Pom Pom doesn't hear, and&mdash; where's the remote? {pulls out a universal remote} There it is. {mutes it}

DEAN: Didn't Pom Pom move out?

EDITED VIDEO GREG: Oh right. {turns it up}

TV: DON'T LOSE YOUR WAY!!

DEAN: STOP IT!

EDITED VIDEO GREG: Sorry. {turns it down}

Got any presents me and Deany could deliver?

EDITED VIDEO GREG: Why do you have the Pillmobile remote?

I'm not taking that risk again!

DEAN: How many things do you have in your bowler hat?

{pulls it out of his bowler hat} 7,256, not including nonexistent items or objects that can only be seen in other dimensions.

EDITED VIDEO GREG: This show is getting boring. {changes the channel}

We gotta think of something to deliver to the peoples!

EDITED VIDEO GREG: Shh... I'm trying to figure out which movie this is. What is this? ...Oh, another meteor-crashing-into-the-Earth plot. So cliché.

Gerg, you just gave me an idea!

EDITED VIDEO GREG: We give them meteors?



DEAN: Xtremix? That's not a word, that's a hot mess.

That's a good idea.

EDITED VIDEO GREG: Oh no, we already got into enough legal trouble with Hot Vanilla, I can't do another nickel. How does that board game work even?

You know what that is?

EDITED VIDEO GREG: Ah, yes, I remember beating my dad at it. Now leave me alone, I've got a bad movie to make fun of. {watching} Aw great, lemme guess: Santa saves the meteor.

DEAN: I still wanna watch Murder the Murderer...

EDITED VIDEO GREG: We talk during the commercials.

DEAN: This is the same tape we watch every year, you know how the commercials go. We're skipping them this year.

EDITED VIDEO GREG: If you wanna talk, wait until we watch Home for Decemberween again.

DEAN: I still think A Christmas Story is worse.

EDITED VIDEO GREG: WHAT DID YOU SAY, PUNK?

DEAN: It's outdated and mean spirited.

EDITED VIDEO GREG: Just for that, no Videlectrix Swap for you this year.

DEAN: Hey, there's an idea.

I-dea. THAT'S IT! {pulls out a VHS tape}

EDITED VIDEO GREG: Eyedea Goes To Hell?

DEAN: Wasn't that the movie that inspired Haddi-Man: The Musical?



EDITED VIDEO GREG: I liked Haddi-Man: The Musical.

DEAN: We are on a roll! We'll have plenty of presents for the big Christmas delivery!

FRENCH NARRATOR: Meanwhile...

{Cut to Honstlar, Coach E, and Stom in the Field.}

HONSTLAR: ...And everyone tries not to eat the gingerbread house!

STRONG BAD: Question: what makes the pudding so "figgy"?

HONSTLAR: No one knows...

STRONG BAD: Besides, it's not even pudding. Like Canadian bacon would be ashamed!

{Cut back to Greg's man-cave section of the Pillquarters.}

EDITED VIDEO GREG: So I don't understand, what are we giving as gifts again? And are we even allowed to say hell?



EDITED VIDEO GREG: What stuff?

And this half a grape. People love those kind of type of sorta things!

EDITED VIDEO GREG: Well, can't argue with logic.



EDITED VIDEO GREG: Um, I think you misunderstood those comments.

{pulls out an Amibo of  sigh   Sonichu}

MYSTERIOUS VOICE: CRAYOLA MODEL MAGIC!

{Honstlar and Stom walk in.}

HONSTLAR: I'm done educating the populace. So what types of things do we have to do now?

Unfortunately, I only have one piece of paper, so we're going to have to cut it up into equal-sized pieces and tape a piece on each present. That'll work, right?

HONSTLAR: Ugh. Why do I always have to come prepared? {pulls some conveniently Christmas themed wrapping paper out of his helmet}

EDITED VIDEO GREG: Since me, Dean, and Stom are the only ones with arms, we shall do the wrapping.

STOM: Can we sing the Wrap Rap?

EDITED VIDEO GREG: NO!

STOM: Thank goodness.

{EDITED Video Greg and Stom start wrapping the presents at breakneck speed.}

FRENCH NARRATOR: 5000 gifts later...

STOM: We did it!

HONSTLAR: Our butts are safe! Now, Dean, give me the info on the ban. Who banned Decemberween and why?

COACH E: {walking in} Hey guys, need any help with arm-have tasks? I have arms, and can— {sees a pile of 5,000 wrapped presents} oh.

HONSTLAR: Right.

COACH Z: {peeking his head in from the left} I guess you jorbs don't need my help either, do you?

EDITED VIDEO GREG: Why would we need your help?

COACH Z: {walks into the screen, revealing his costume} 'Cause I'm da RAPPING PAPE—

ALL: {groan}

DEAN: Ahem, you guys! I'm supposed to be saying some lines here! I'm ready to reveal the reason why D'ween was banned!

HONSTLAR: Then spill the beans!

DEAN: It was because the King of Town never got invited to play himself in the annual pageant. And the one who convinced Kingy-Ding to ban D'ween was... none other than MR. DANDO!

HONSTLAR: Frickin' Dando! {raises his head to the ceiling} DANDOOO!!

{ba-dum-tss}

{Crickets.}



COACH E: What could have possibly convinced poor old Mr. Dando to do such a thing?!

FAMILIAR VOICE: Well, you crazy kids...

{A portal-like screen appears.}

GRINDOLO: ...It was me!

HONSTLAR: Grindolo! I shoulda coulda woulda known!

SRMX12: Ah! Grindolo! I still haven't completely figured out who this character even is yet!

Since when do you call us "you crazy kids"?

HONSTLAR: Could this means...

SRMX12: Are you...

GRINDOLO: That's right... I am... ''{reveals his true identity... the live action Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle}'' It's Christmas Eve and all my friends are here We're wrapping up presents, it happens once a year

ALL: AAHHHHH!!

GRINDOLO: {turns back into himself} Gotcha! I wasn't anybody, I just wanted to throw you off!

HONSTLAR: Why do you want to ban Decemberween?

GRINDOLO: I don't like it.

EDITED VIDEO GREG: But why?

GRINDOLO: Okay, that doesn't matter! It was actually Dando's idea.

HONSTLAR: Well, Dando or not, we are gonna save Decemberween and sorta replace it with Christmas!

GRINDOLO: Yeah, right.

HONSTLAR: Is that a challenge?

GRINDOLO: Yes. If you can do what you say you're gonna do in under 24 hours, I will stay away from this holiday for all of time, but if you lose, I KILL YOU!

EDITED VIDEO GREG: But you don't know the meaning of death!

GRINDOLO: I do now! {pulls out a book}

EDITED VIDEO GREG: "Death for Dummies"? CRAAAAAAAP!!

GRINDOLO: The deal is on. Good luck... {disappears}

HONSTLAR: Well, we don't have much time left, Let's split up again! Dean, Greg, you two will track down the King and force him to unban D'ween. You may have to morph into your Power Helmet forms. Stom, Coachy, now that the town is willing to change their holiday, you two will set up a Christmas party that everybody is invited to (except for Dando). SRMX12, Garbles, you two will help me deliver the presents while dressed up as elves. LET'S GO!

SRMX12: Great! I'm practically dressed up as an elf already! This'll go smooth as silk! So wheres we going first?

HONSTLAR: TO STRONG BAD'S HOUSE!

{The Pillmobile turns into a sleigh with robotic reindeer and a hatch opens to reveal SRMX12 and Gfd as elves and Honstlar as Santa Claus.}

HONSTLAR: Let's go-ho-ho!

{The Pill Sleigh speeds off.}

The Strongs don't have a chimney. How will we ever break into their house and give them stuff?

HONSTLAR: I think we may need a breaking-into-Strong-Bad's-house expert...

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {pops up from the bag of presents} Did somebody say my name?



HOMESTAR RUNNER: Allow me, boys!

{Homestar throws the present and it somehow materialises under Strong Bad's tree.}

HONSTLAR: You're good, whitey!

''{Honstlar and the gang continue to deliver presents. Cut to the outside of the King of Town's castle.}''

EDITED VIDEO GREG: Commence Operation: Unwrapped!

DEAN: But what about the Poopertroopers?

EDITED VIDEO GREG: We can handle it!

DEAN: {quietly} That's only true for one of us.

EDITED VIDEO GREG: Huh?

DEAN: Nothing!

EDITED VIDEO GREG: {knocks on the drawbridge}

{Silence.}

EDITED VIDEO GREG: See? Nobody noticed.

{Greg and Dean sneak in.}

EDITED VIDEO GREG: Shhhhh. Be very, very quiet, we're hunting royalty. {laughs}

{Poopertroopers jump in from the ceiling.}

POOPERTROOPER #1: Intruders detected!

DEAN: Aah! It's the many clones of Dr. Poopsmith!

POOPERTROOPER #2: Prepare to suffer!

EDITED VIDEO GREG: Not on my watch. It's morphin' time! {does a backflip as his Grego Anchovy samurai metal stuff appears on him} Let's go!

DEAN: Ditto! {the Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers morphing thing happens} Planet K Power! {her Sailor Dean suit appears}

POOPERTROOPER #1: Get them!

{They start fighting.}

EDITED VIDEO GREG: Batter up! {grabs a Poopertrooper and holds him like a baseball bat}

DEAN: And here's the pitch! {throws a curled up Poopertrooper at Grego}

EDITED VIDEO GREG: SWING'D!

{The "bat" hits the "ball" at another Poopertrooper.}

POOPERTROOPER #8: OW! MY ENTIRE BODY!

{They continue until all the Poopertroopers are destroyed.}

EDITED VIDEO GREG: That's another one for the rekkid books!

{The two demorph.}

FRENCH NARRATOR: Meanwhile...

{Cut to the Pillquarters.}

STOM: Okay, the waffle stack is finished, the lights are set up, the Santa hats have all the name tags on them, is there anything left?

COACH E: Don't we need invitations?

STOM: Silly Erin, nobody sends invitations anymore, they send emails.

COACH E: But isn't that the same&mdash;

STOM: Shut up. All that matters is that everybody knows we are hosting a party.

HONSTLAR: Silly Stom, no one ever sends emails anymore, they send Tweets!



SRMX12: Silly you guys, no one ever sends texts anymore... wait, what's everyone doing these days?

STOM: What are you guys doing here? Get back to your jobs!

{Honstlar, Gfd, and SRMX12 run off.}

COACH E: I suggest we just make a list of everyone who's coming.

STOM: Done. {writes "everyone 'cept dando" on a sticky note}

COACH E: What is it with unhelpfully short and/or ridiculously long lists in this cartoon?

STOM: Unintentional running gag, I guess. Then what?

COACH E: Now write the time and place of the party.

STOM: What is the time and place?

COACH E: Remember? We decided: Trubsday, Decembuary 32th, at 3:02 AM.

STOM: 3 AM? That's ridiculous! No one will come at that time. And the place?

COACH E: The Pillquarters.

STOM: {adds the time and place to the sticky note}

COACH E: Now I'll go stick it to The Stick so everyone will know to come!

STOM: NO WAIT WHAT ABOUT THE PRETENDER AND THE CLEANSER GEE&mdash;

''{Cut to the note on the Stick. Zoom out.}''

THE PRETENDER: Christmasberween Party? Sounds nice.

THE CLEANSER GEEK: Let's go there.

THE PRETENDER: Ya comin', boss?

GRINDOLO: Nah, I don't want to interfere with the bet. And if you still want to have an intact robot leg, I suggest you let the idiots have an ill-fated party in peace too.

THE PRETENDER: Yes, my liege!

{Cut to EDITED Video Greg (dressed in Rolf's fursuit from Ed, Edd n Eddy's Jingle Jingle Jangle) and Dean (dressed as Yeshmiyek) in the Video Dungeon.}

EDITED VIDEO GREG: So, what happened after we beat the Poopertroopers? Did we unban D'ween?

DEAN: Uhh...

EDITED VIDEO GREG: Please tell me you didn't forget that very important detail!

DEAN: I didn't forget that very important detail. {pulls out a piece of paper with "Unbanned: Merger Pending" stamped on it}

EDITED VIDEO GREG: Clever girl.

FRENCH NARRATOR: Meanwhile...

{Cut to the party.}

ALL: Santa's coming tonight-tonight, Santa's coming tonight!

STOM: Come on, everybloody, let's keep ripping off SpongeBob until Santam'n arrives!

ALL: Santa's coming tonight-tonight...

{Cut to the Pill Sleigh.}

HONSTLAR: Well, that was the last present.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: And we still have 3 hours left!

HONSTLAR: Suck on that, Grindolo!

SRMX12: Uh, Honnie Claus?

HONSTLAR: What is it?

SRMX12: Homestar miscalculated again.

HONSTLAR: Of course. How much time do we really have left?

SRMX12: Well, it has a 3 in it, but...

HONSTLAR: {loudly} HOW MUCH!?!

SRMX12: 3 minutes.

HONSTLAR: Oh crap, we gotta get to the party before it's too late! {pulls out a pill-shaped communicator} Saint Nick to Flat Stanley, come in Flat Stanley!

{A video screen opens revealing Greg and Dean.}

HONSTLAR: {offscreen} How did the paperwoik turn out?

EDITED VIDEO GREG: The ban is lifted and the merger is ready!

{The screen switches to Stom.}

HONSTLAR: {offscreen} Waffle House, are the townsfolk filled with the spirit of the holiday?

STOM: Filled to the top!

{Honstlar closes the Pill-Com.}

SRMX12: We've finished the job...

HOMESTAR: ...I've got a sack of monkeys in my pocket...

HONSTLAR: ...And all systems are ready to go!

''{The Pill Sleigh flies off as the song "Here The Engines Roll Now/Burning Rubber Tires" from Pod People plays. Cut to the moon base.}''

GRINDOLO: I have to win this bet, but I can't interfere. CURSE YOU, DEMON DEAL RULES!

{Cut back to the party.}

THE CLEANSER GEEK: That fat guy better hurry up!

{Cut back to the Pill Sleigh.}

SRMX12: 2 minutes left!

{pulls lever, activating light speed}

{The Pill Sleigh flies through hyperspace.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: My tweez is going into my brain!

SRMX12: 1 minute left!

HONSTLAR: Crap! Time moves faster in lightspeed.



{Cut back to Grindolo.}

GRINDOLO: Foolish mortals, I will be victorious!

SRMX12: 5!

{Cut to Stom.}

STOM: Come on!

SRMX12: 4!

EDITED VIDEO GREG: I hope this works!

SRMX12: 3!



HONSTLAR: Not on my watch!

SRMX12: 2!

{The Pill Sleigh pops into the party.}

ALL: YAY!

{Cut back to Grindolo.}

GRINDOLO: NOOOOO!!

{Cut to the inside of Mr. Dando's house.}

MR. DANDO: What's this I feel, is it the holiday spirit?

{Dando walks out of his house and looks at the tree.}

MR. DANDO: Festive lights?

{Pan to Honstlar Claus handing a present to the Pretender.}

THE PRETENDER: Thanks, chump.

HONSTLAR: You're welcome!

MR. DANDO: Goodwill towards all?

{Pan to the rejected characters carolling.}

MR. DANDO: NOISE?! They not only brought back Decemberween but also brought in Christmas? I'M IN HELL!

{Dando gets handcuffed.}

POLICE FIREMAN: More like, "you're under arrest for manipulation of royalty".

MR. DANDO: And I'm arrested? I'LL GET YOU CRAZY KIDS!

POLICE FIREMAN #2: Tell it to the judge!

{Cut back to the party while "O Christmas Tree" plays.}

ALL: {singing} O Christmas Tree, of Decemberween, you're 55 days after Halloween!

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Glass baubles and some pretty lights, {Cut to the King of Town holding a fork next to a tree star with a bite taken out of it.} THE KING OF TOWN: I wish this star was supersized. {Cut back to the gang.}

ALL: O Christmas Tree, of Decemberween, you're 55 days after Halloween!

EDITED VIDEO GREG: Being nice is what it's about, {Cut to Strong Sad frolicking through the snow.} HONSTLAR: So that's why I let Strong Sad out.

ALL: O Christmas Tree, of Decemberween, you're 55 days after Halloween!

{Cut to a shot of Gfd giving something to the Cleanser Geek.} BUBS: We give our friends some crazy crap, {Cut to Strong Bad holding a copy of Deep Impact.} STRONG BAD: Once again I got Deep Impact.

ALL: O Christmas Tree, of Decemberween, you're 55 days after Halloween!

SRMX12: It's something only two guys hate, {Cut to a boarded up alien bathtub on the moon.} GRINDOLO: {from the tub} I'm not allowed to celebrate. {Cut back to the gang.}

ALL: O Christmas Tree, of Decemberween, Coach Z's been drinking Listerine!

{Cut to the locker room where a drunk Coach Z with a 5 o'clock shadow sits next to a pile of empty bottles of Cool Mint Listerine.}

COACH Z: {drunkenly} Maury Christmasween, orveybody!

COACH E: God-Dad, go to bed, you're drunk.

COACH Z: I can stop whenever I want. {collapses}

COACH E: {looks at the camera} Well, you heard the man. Merry Christmas!

{A fancy title card appears that says "THE END".}