Broternal Order Of Different Helmets/Honstlar vs. Raltsnoh

Inspired by the HDOB incident, Grindolo creates his own Raltsnoh that could spell the end of Honstlar.

{Cut to a flashback. The Helmet Squad and Strong Badman are fighting Duplicato.} DUPLICATO: You wanna play dirty? I'LL SHOW YOU DIRTY! {Opposite versions of the BODH appear} STRONG BADMAN: Who the crap are they?! RALTSNOH: I apologize, it wouldn't be polite to kill you before introducing ourselves... I am Raltsnoh Alpha! Raltsnoh? What kinda name is that? It's almost as unpronouncable as Gfgdsgzgxdsgrc! I mean, Gdgfgsxgzdgdrc! I mean, nevermind. Isn't "Raltsnoh" Honstlar spelled backwards? CRD: Indeed it is. I am called Crdgzgxgsgdfg. It would be a pleasure to kill you. Who are you guys?! Why are your names our names spelled backwards? DUPLICATO: I duplicated you. But I used a special technique... I inverted your clones' DNA, making them the opposites of you! That doesn't sound scientifically plausible. GERG OEDIV DETIDE: We are known as... HDOB: THE HEINOUS DISORDER OF OBNOXIOUS BADGUYS!! Disorder, wouldn't that mean you don't get along? NAED: SHUT UP, IT'S THE BEST WE COULD COME UP WITH!! {Zoom out to reveal Grindolo is viewing the flashback through a magic portal} Pretender. Meet me at my throne room in 5 seconds. {5 seconds pass. The Pretender enters the room, exhausted.} What is it, master? I've been thinking... About the Superium incident. Yes? This... "Duplicato" fellow. He's created his own Broternal Order. A reversed version. They call themselves... the Heinous Disorder of Obnoxious Badguys. Bad guys? Hey, that sounds cool. They could work for us! That is precisely my plan, Pretender. They currently reside in ASU, Yrtnuoc Eerf... ASU, Yrntc— what? The reversed version of Free Country, USA. Right, of course. We shall find them, and they shall help us destroy Honstlar and his friends for good. {Cut to the Pillquarters} {chews and swallows} And that's how I eat all the galaxies I don't like, eventually leading to my eternal reign as intergalactic overlord of all existence. Well, that was extremely shocking and disturbing to watch. Anyway, what else is in this meeting? {Zascub pulls out the schedule.} Well, we were going to speculate the size of the Robotnik mustache Jim Carrey is going to wear in the Sonic movie, but I guess that can wait another hour. Good, because I have something to announce. Ahem. Behold! {holds up an enhanced version of the Game Boy in a blender} I upgraded our alternate universe machine to be faster and more energy-efficient, with 50% less quantum space-time tearing for optimal atomic regularity during cross-dimension traversing! You can even set precise coordinates to the specific universe you want to go to. Cool! What should we do with it first? How 'bout we go to a universe with infinite waffles, a lifetimes' supply of chalkboard erasers for Garbles to consume, countless pieces of technological equipment for me, million-dollar bills everywhere... basically the greatest universe in existence! That sounds great! Entering coordinates. {presses some buttons} Now it's calculating the four-dimensional space-time folding... processing optimal reality shifting point... subversing positive electrons for the continuum scattering field... opening interuniversal vortex in 3... 2... 1... {A portal opens. Grindolo walks out of it and closes it.} GRINDOLO!! SRMX12! Did you do that?! No! I didn't! I don't understand! What are you doing here? I teleported myself here to take your machine. I need it for one of my... projects, so to speak. Would you be so kind as to hand it over? Never! Are you sure that's a wise decision? You have two choices. One: I will have the machine, and you will be fine. Two: I will have the machine, and you will be badly beaten. Right now, you seem to be choosing the second one. Yeah! The second one! Wait... Very well. If you want a fight, I shall give it to you. And you shall give me the blender. Willingly or otherwise. Helmets, attack positions! {The BODH gets into a cool pose, ready to fight} Are you ready?! Without a doubt. We will win this. Good. Now... FIGHT! {Grindolo knocks them all back with a lightning blast and takes the machine} Thanks. See ya. {teleports away} Gob... DANNIT! Your swears just keep getting weirder and weirder... {Cut to Castle Grindolo} Pretender. I have gathered the means necessary for quantaminated interdimensional traversal. Sweet! Now let's go get those backwards brothers! Yes. {Pause.} Let's do it. {Longer pause.} Why aren't we doing it? I dunno. I'm just waiting for you to start the machine or whatever. I'm waiting for you to start the machine. What? You're the science type! You do it! How? I've never used this thing before! Press buttons or something, I don't care! Hmm. Liquify? Go for it, man. {The Pretender presses a button and a swirly portal appears.} I think it worked! Get in there! All right. {Grindolo walks to the portal and voips away. Cut to a universe with infinite waffles, a lifetimes' supply of chalkboard erasers, countless pieces of technological equipment, and million-dollar bills everywhere.} What? Where am I? This looks nothing like USA Yrcount Feerf or whatever it's called! {Cut to the Pretender typing into the blender in Castle Grindolo.} Sorry. That must be the last place the BODH loaded into this thing. Try this. {presses a button} {Grindolo voips to the Old-Timey universe.} THE HOMESTAR RUNNER: My oh my. A ghostm'n. Pretender! You sent me to the past! {Grindolo voips to Yonder Website.} SB undefined Look here, Character 1! The vengeful spirit of an ancient warlock has come to join along with us. Let's all have some soothing mediation, that's right. Breathe in... and a-breathe it all out, far out. Shut up, disembodied voice! CHARACTER 2: {gasp} Baybobahbuhbadeybobatuh. SB undefined We don't say the "shut up" word here in Yonder Website, far out. It's disrespectful. Let us fix your temper with five more minutes of breathing exercises, that's far out right. Hey, Pretender, this universe is way too soothing! It's not edgy or angry at all! {Grindolo voips to Xeriouxly Forxe.} Now this is my kind of universe. I always regretted that I wasn't around during the '90s. Stupid cave. {Grindolo voips to an infinite plane full of mashed potato lizards and those car-washy things at the gas station.} LIZARD: Froomp tharblar 6 - -]]] {opens a cosmic portal and unleashes several bad fashion choices} {The floor turns to parsley as an old-timey radio descends from the sky. The land then shifts to the fourth dimension, as Grindolo is flung through time and space and shifts through various forms, such as an elk and a laundry hamper.} PRETENDER! What did you doo00 0 0\ geerf mlerg {Cut to the Pretender, panicking as he types frantically on the blender and various machines in his lab, glancing at holographic screens.} Sorry, sir! I'm tracking down the universal signature of the opposite universe. It's harder than it looks... {He attaches more robot arms and types on several machines at once, looking around frantically and reading all the holographic text that pops up. Suddenly, he presses a button and freezes.} That's it! I found it! {turns around and starts typing into the blender} {Cut to duplicates of Grindolo squeezing through seven dimensions in a cosmic plane beyond comprehension. He crashes through a wall of time-space, shattering it and sucking him into a void of nothingness.} H H HE help meeee E {Cut to the Pretender pressing a button on the blender. Grindolo voips to a pleasant dinner table of floppy disks.} FLOPPY DISK: {turns toward Grindolo} Quinimetry. {Cut back to the Pretender.} Sorry, I mistyped a digit of the universal signature. It's a G, not a 6. {types again, then presses a button} {Grindolo voips to ASU, Yrtnuoc Eerf} {mildly glitching} Phew. That was insane. I never want to convert my atomic structure into the nineteenth dimension beyond the cosmic void of spacetime ever again. {catches his breath, then stops to look around} Hey, this must be ASU, Yrtn— Yr— nngt— I'm not even gonna bother. Now where could those backwards bad boys be? {from a speaker} They're the opposite of the BODH. That's a good starting point. Right. If I was a BODH member... where wouldn't I be? The BODH meet in a pill. So, maybe the HDOB would meet in... I dunno... A bottle of prescription cream? Maybe. Why? Because I see one right over there. Oh. Then what are you standing around for? Go to it!! {Cut to the inside of the headquarters.} HDOB: {speaking monotone} Never and less, never and less, never and less! RALTSNOH ALPHA: That was the most awful chanting I've ever heard. You pathetic fools are getting worse all the time. 21XMRS, what is first on our evil agenda? 21XRMS: AGENDA IS PAPER WITH WORDS. RALTSNOH ALPHA: No, you numbskull, I'm not asking what an agenda is, I'm asking what is ON it. 21XRMS: ME SAID. WORDS. RALTSNOH ALPHA: What words?! 21XRMS: {shrugs} RALTSNOH ALPHA: 21XRMS, you're demoted. Who wants 21XRMS's job? ELBOOD: As you all well know, I have several doctorates in all varieties of fields. I have no uncertainty that I will do more than sufficiently at timekeeping and regularly reciting our planned activities. RALTSNOH ALPHA: Excellent, Elbood. Tell us, what is our schedule today? ELBOOD: First off, we are to rob Sbub's Software Store. Afterward, assuming we have time, we once again invade Olodnirg's apartment and beat him to a pulp. CRDGZGXGSGDFG: Sounds good to me. 21XMRS: IS FINE. NAED: Me likes the sounds of this. PAT SAJAK: I've got no qualms with this plan. MOTS: POTATO SALAD! {Everyone nervously hands Mots plates upon plates of potato salad.} BUCSAZ: Oh yes, I am very much on board with this plan as well. RALTSNOH ALPHA: Looks like we're all in agreement here. Let us begin our— {Grindolo walks in.} RALTSNOH ALPHA: Who are you, why are you in our Prescriptionickels, and why do you look like Olodnirg? NAED: He don't looks like Olodnirg. He look likes... Olodnirg's opposite or somethings. Olondirg... hey, that's my name spelled backwards. RALTSNOH ALPHA: Weird coincidence. Now get out of our meeting or you won't spell anything backwards again. NAED: 'Cause you'll be's dead. If you didn't gets the subtle hint. Joke's on you. I'm already dead. As I was saying, my name is Grindolo. I am Olondirg's opposite from Free Country, USA. RALTSNOH ALPHA: Free Country, USA? You mean there's somewhere out there where everything is reversed? That's weird. You've been there, remember? You fought the Broternal Order and they beat you? E HCAOC: We don't like to be reminded of that day. I assume you want revenge on the BODH for humiliating you. Well, right now they don't have superpowers or a Strong Badman to help them like last time. They are unsuspecting and vulnerable. The perfect time to strike. 21XMRS: ME LIKE THIS SOUND. CRDGZGXGSGDFG: Just say "I like the sound of that" like a normal person. Honestly. RALTSNOH ALPHA: So, just to be sure... you're on our side? Indeed. I hate the BODH just as much as you do. So what do you say? You want to join me? RALTSNOH ALPHA: We'd be happy to. Let's— {An alarm goes off.} E HCAOC: Olodnirg has been spotted at a local grocery store! RALTSNOH ALPHA: GET HIM! {Everyone runs off, leaving Grindolo behind.} The heck? That's not cool. {from a speaker} What happened? They totally bolted. So annoying. Fine. We don't need them anyway. But we came all this way! I had to glitch through multiple dimensions in a cosmic plane and turn into an elk! Sorry, man. At least you got to visit a cool new universe. Indeed. {presses a button on the blender} {Grindolo gets teleported back to his base.} What a disappointment that was. And it was working out so well. Hey, you gonna eat that? What? That food you're holding. {holds up a plate of potato salad} What is this? Looks like potato salad to me. I know what it is. But... what is this? I must've accidentally grabbed it on the way out. The one called "Mots" kept demanding potato salad. Which is really weird. Yeah, it is weird. But the writers wouldn't have made it happen if it didn't serve a purpose in the plot. You're right. I must've grabbed this plate for a reason. It makes more sense, narratively. You think it's superpowered potato salad? I highly doubt it. {scans the food} It's not superpowered, but it does contain traces of extrauniversal DNA. The polar opposite of Waddler's, to be precise. What does that have to do with anything? I dunno. We could use this DNA to... make an antidote for Honstlar and, uh... maybe if he eats the opposite of his DNA, he'll explode or whatever. Or we could just clone it. You know, sometimes I forget you're an absolute genius. Remember it. Remember it well. Let's go downstairs to those old cloning chambers where we made all those extra Unguraits. Maybe we can still use them. {Cut to the BODH.} ...And then, we throw some potato chips at him. But, like, really sharp potato chips, so they're all stabby and stuff. So then they stab him and he's like "Ow! Pointy!" and then when he's distracted, we grab the blender and use it to teleport to the land of the apricots. And we'll hide in the apricots so he'll never find us. No offense, but that's a terrible plan, and you're a terrible person, and you're dumb and I hate you. No offense. None taken. Does anyone have any real plans to get our blender back from Grindolo? {A floaty spirit in a white hoodie appears out of a portal.} SPIRIT: I might. AAHH!! It's Strong Sad's ghost come back to haunt us again, again!! SPIRIT: Oh, oh, I'm so sorry! I apologize sincerely, I'm terribly sorry, really, I didn't mean to frighten you. Please forgive me. I mean no harm to anyone, ever. Either this guy is the polar opposite of Grindolo, or he's from Canada. SPIRIT: B—both, actually. My name is Olodnirg. I think I'm the opposite of this, uh... "Grindolo" person. I'm from ASU, Eerf Yrtnuoc. That's not Canada. OLODNIRG: It is in my universe. So, uh... my universe's BODH, the Heinous Order of Obnoxious Badguys... We know them. We mopped the floor with them a few months back. Correction: Strong Badman mopped the floor with them. OLODNIRG: ...Uh, they snuck up on my in the grocery store and tried to gouge my eyes out. Which isn't really possible, since I'm a spirit, but I still feel a bit nervous about their frequent attacks. This kind of thing happens practically every hour, on the hour. That's awful! OLODNIRG: So, uh... if you don't mind my asking, of course... you're more than welcome to say no if you desire... you don't have to help, you have no obligation to whatsoever, but I just wanted to ask if, uh... Of course we'll help you! Wait. Something seems odd about this. How? It's a ghost from another universe teleporting into our headquarters to ask for assistance. This kind of thing happens pretty much every episode. Think about it. Grindolo steals our alternate universe portal. A few minutes later, his opposite shows up to get our help. This doesn't seem like a coincidence. Because our universes are the opposites of each other... Olodnirg's actions must be a reflection of Grindolo's. Which means... Grindolo is teaming up with the HDOB! Oh. That complicates things. Hey ghostm'n, we decline. We're not helping if Grindolo is involved. Shut up, Garbles. Yes, we're helping. OLODNIRG: Don't worry. We're all the opposites of each other, so it'll be an even fight. I even got my friends to help. {A businessman with a robot head, a young scholar, and a excellently-sketched lady walks out of the portal.} OLODNIRG: These are Redneterp Eht, Odnad .Rm, and Keeg Resnaelc Eht. REDNETERP EHT: It's a pleasure. ODNAD .RM: I'll say! It's always lovely to have company. KEEG RESNAELC EHT: That's right! So how do you propose we stop the HDOB? We can try sneaking into Castle Grindolo and seeing what they're up to. And taking back our blender, while we're at it. But Castle Grindolo is on the moon. Plus, he has magical awareness of his surroundings, so sneaking would be useless. Well, do you have any other plans? As a matter of fact, I do. {Cut to Grindolo and the Pretender going down a spiral staircase.} Sometimes I regret making this castle so huge. I mean, 129 flights of stairs to get to the cloning room? {typing into his wrist panel} Sending a request for internal teleporters on every floor. That would've helped, like, months ago. Anyway, we're here. {They step off the stairs and into a dark room full of large vats of green fluid.} The cloning vats are still intact. This should work just fine. {The Pretender places the potato salad in a chamber and closes it. He then opens a holographic computer and begins typing.} Done. Our Raltsnoh should be fully cloned in 2-3 hours. Hours? It takes 15 minutes to preheat the cloning fluid, plus an extra hour for the spices to dissolve into the broth, and— Spices? Well, yeah. What if our clone is unsuccessful? If we make it flavorful, it'll at least have some use. That's disgusting. Hey, it's practical. {Pan to a drone in the window, spying on them from afar. Cut to the BODH watching a live feed in the Pillquarters.} So he's cloning his own Raltsnoh. I guess his team up with the HDOB didn't work out. That's good. I just want to know where we got that space camera drone. {holding up a prototype} Do you really have to ask? {looking at the feed} Hey, they're leaving. Now we can use the drone to, like, contaminate the cloning vat or something. OLODNIRG: Hey, that's not a bad idea. {Cut to the drone. It flies over and picks up some garbage scraps, and drops them in the cloning vat. Cut back to the BODH.} Perfect! Now they're just cloning garbage. So, now what? OLODNIRG: I'm a pretty apathetic person, so Grindolo must be persistent and determined. We have to prepare for his next attack, whatever that may be. {Fade to Castle Grindolo. The Pretender gets an alert on his robot suit.} Oop. It appears we have interference with our clone. What does that mean? Someone plopped a bunch of discarded power cells into the cloning fluid. So what do we do? Absolutely nothing. The power cells will speed up the cloning process, and help make our clone more powerful! Is that it? Are there any downsides? Well, since the power cells are contaminating the DNA samples, it probably won't be an exact clone, but it'll be close enough. But other than that, everything's going great. Great. Find the Ungurait who did it and give them a promotion. {pulls up a security hologram} It wasn't an Ungurait. A drone? Someone must be helping us from the outside. We have a secret ally. Seems that way, sir. Anyway, the cloning should be done about now. Perfect timing. {Cut to the cloning room. The two bad guys walk in. The Pretender presses a button, and the fluid drains from the container. A claw lifts the clone from its container, revealing it to be an infant.} What?! We did all that to clone a baby? Hate to tell ya, that's how cloning works. I thought you knew. Does that mean we'll have to wait decades for it to grow?! No need. I engineered it to grow at an accelerated pace. He should become a full-sized adult in a matter of days. In fact, due to the power cells, he could age in a few hours. But we have to raise it until then? That's right. It may be a good idea to get the diapers. (Zoom out to reveal Killian.) Wait, if he ages faster, wouldn't that mean he'll be an old man in like, 3 hours? Well, the short answer is no, but the long answer is- How long have you been standing there, Killian? Oh, you know, like... five days or so. That's gross. I HAVEN'T SLEPT SINCE LAST THRUESDAY. You don't have to stand here all the time, you know. Oh, that's a relief. Thanks! {skips away} {Pause.} So... now what? RALTSNOH CLONE: Dada! Look at that, his first word. I'm not your dada. I'm your evil overlord. Can you say "evil overlord"? RALTSNOH CLONE: Evil dada! Close enough. RALTSNOH CLONE: Want cookie. You can't have a cookie. We're raising you with a diet of spinach and steak so you'll grow to become a big, strong killing machine. RALTSNOH CLONE: Otay dada. Cookie? No cookie. RALTSNOH CLONE: {screams and hits Grindolo} Hey hey hey! No hitting, kiddo. Actually, this is good practice for him. Oh right. Keep hitting. Hone your murder skills and nothing shall stand in your way. RALTSNOH CLONE: I a astranaut! {runs off} You're a what? Yep, he's probably about three at this point. RALTSNOH CLONE: Yeah, thwee times bedda than you! (Raltsnoh runs The Pretender over with the diamond-tipped drill from Dangeresque 3.) Ow, my skin! Excellent motor skills, kid. That barely even qualified as a regular skill! WHO ASKED YOU!? {The clone grows suddenly.} RALTSNOH CLONE: I want a evil lair! That's my boy. What? We can't give him his own lair! I mean, he's around 5-7 right now. We've never given him a single birthday present. I feel like such a deadbeat dad. He ran me over! Exactly. He's been a good boy. {The clone grows again. He gains acne and long hair.} RALTSNOH CLONE: You guys are lame. Hey! Don't sass back at me, Raltsnoh. RALTSNOH CLONE: Whatever. You old dudes don't get it. {walks out} That's just disrespectful! Raltsnoh Geraldine Warraki, go to your room! RALTSNOH CLONE: That's where I'm going. {Raltsnoh walks out. Then he walks back in.} RALTSNOH CLONE: I don't have a room. Well, good. {Raltsnoh grows again.} RALTSNOH CLONE: Father, I know we haven't been too close lately, but can you help me with my student loans? What? You haven't even been to college! I think it's just a natural part of life. Once you enter your twenties, your mind matures, your body stops growing, and you enter crippling debt. Oh, right. I remember learning that in biology class. (Cut to Homestar's old Life Science textbook in the spooky woods, which has opened on a page with a green mitochondria.) Coach Zee: {speaking as the book} The mordocollera is the powerhouse of the luxury tax. (Cut back to Raltsnoh.) He should be entering optimal supervillain age in 3... 2... 1... {Raltsnoh transforms into an evil Honstlar-like monstrosity.} RALTSNOH CLONE: I must destroy Honstlar Waddler. We did it! We raised him right! Now go forth, Raltsnoh, and destroy Honstlar and company! RALTSNOH CLONE: I am no mere Raltsnoh. I am superior. I am... RALTSNOH OMEGA. Ooh, I like that. Has a nice ring to it. {Raltsnoh Omega disappears.} Wait, he can teleport? Raltsnoh Alpha can't do that. His first teleportation. I'm so proud. (Cut to Strong Bad, Strong Mad and The Cheat at the Stick.) SB undefined I'm tellin' you, man, it's foolproof. {The Cheat noises} SB undefined What do you mean, "unproven"? How could it possibly fail? You ask someone to borrow their wallet, you spend it all on vintage action figures, sell them at an inflated price and bam! Instant profit! Get-rich-quick scheme of the century! I WANT SKELETOR! {Raltsnoh Omega appears next to them.} SB undefined Hey, you're not a mint-quality vintage figurine. RALTSNOH OMEGA: Direct me to the location of the one called "Waddler", that I may decimate him and his friends, and tarnish his legacy foreverforth. SB undefined You mean Honstlar? That guy's always sittin' around in his giant pill. You're prolly best off finding him there. RALTSNOH OMEGA: I thank you for your wisdom, wrestler of Mexican descent. May we meet again in the days beyond. {Raltsnoh Omega walks offscreen. Pause.} {The Cheat noises} SB undefined Nah, everyone and their dog and their dog's grandparents have a Boba Fett. I'm talkin' about the ultra-rare finds. The ones at the bottom of the comic book store bargain bin with scratched paint and missing limbs. {The HDOB walk onscreen.} SB undefined Hey, you guys don't have scratched paint or missing limbs. In fact, you guys've got more limbs than 90% of the people around these parts. RALTSNOH ALPHA: We have received word that the spirit of Olodnirg has fled to this dimension. Have you any clue where he may be hiding? SB undefined I dunno about any Olodnirg, but most of the weird stuff that happens around here has something to do with the giant pill over eastways. 21XMRS: THANK, MASK-GLOVE. ELBOOD: That cowardly hero will not escape our wrath for much longer. {They walk offscreen. Pause.} {The Cheat noises} SB undefined Nah, I don't even want to know what that guy's got in his wallet. I vote Pom Pom. He's got the fancy velvety lining on there. FAUX LEATHER!! {Cut to the Pillquarters.} Alright, Brother MX, let's go over the checklist one more time. Bazooka? Check! Shot off sawgun? Check! Homsar duct-taped to a baseball bat? (Pulls up said item.) Checkity! HS undefined AAaaAAaaAAaa! I rejected my blood beat's engraving sheet! OLODNIRG: Are you quite sure we must resort to violence? I wouldn't like to cause harm to this "Grindolo" fellow... KEEG RESNAELC EHT: That's right. I approve of a peaceful resolution. ODNAD .RM: That's not a bad idea, you intelligent grown-ups! {whispering} I'm beginning to see a problem with working with backwards supervillains. You guys, Grindolo is a magic ghost who tries to kill us and take over the planet daily. He's not interested in a peaceful resolution. OLODNIRG: Oh, dear me. That's not very nice of him. If we must come to blows, I suppose I'll allow it. {Raltsnoh Omega teleports into the Pillquarters.} RALTSNOH OMEGA: Waddler. We will end this, once and for all! What do you mean, "once and for all"? I don't even know who you are! Yeah, this isn't "once and for all", this is... twice and for some. You look familiar. You wouldn't happen to be a TV actor, wouldja? He looks like Raltsnoh Alpha, but... mutated. He must be the result of the garbage we tossed into the cloning machine. RALTSNOH OMEGA: Garbage? Wait, you guys are the source of my power? What a turn of events. I must thank you heartily... you have given me powers beyond human comprehension. OLODNIRG: Oh my. This may not end well. RALTSNOH ALPHA: {offscreen} You're right, it won't. {The HDOB enter the room.} The Heinous Order of Obnoxious Badguys? What are you doing in here? RALTSNOH ALPHA: You left the door unlocked. Oops. I meant, why are you here? 21XMRS: KILL OLODNIRG. What do you guys have against Olodnirg anyway? NAED: He's goods guy! He's always stops our evil plans! OLODNIRG: I apologize sincerely, I never meant to upset you. Would you please be so kind as to leave us be? ETIBAR: No. E HCAOC: {pointing at Raltsnoh Omega} Who's that creep? RALTSNOH OMEGA: I am Raltsnoh Omega. I have come to destroy Waddler and friends. RALTSNOH ALPHA: And we're here to destroy Olodnirg and friends. Maybe we oughta team up! RALTSNOH OMEGA: I support this decision, inferior self. Let us do battle! (Two white boxing gloves emerge from Honstlar's helmet.) Yes, let's. {They fight. Olodnirg gently taps Raltsnoh Omega.} OLODNIRG: Please, sir, take this! {pause} Was that too much? I apologize sincerely if I harmed you at all. {Raltsnoh Omega fires laser eyes at Olodnirg.} OLODNIRG: Oh dear. That was harmful. He has laser eyes? Well, you don't have laser eyes, so the opposite of no laser eyes is laser eyes. The logic is sound. Pat Sajak: (Offscreen) It really is! You stay out of this! {typing; his computer dings} I've compiled a list of things you don't have... telepathy, invincibility, super hearing, X-ray vision, arms, hygiene, omnipotence... Wait, so these guys are basically omnipotent? I'unno. Could be. I'm not entirely sure how opposites work. We need to even the odds. Maybe if get superpowers, our opposites will become less powerful, because backwards. You're saying we need one of these? {holds up a Superium Orb} You've had that this whole time? I keep two dozen in my hat at all times for sustenance. {The orb explodes, giving the BODH superpowers.} There we go. The opposite of superpowered is... powerless. There's nothing you guys can do. Raltsnoh Omega: That’s what you think! {Gfd superspeeds around the room and ties everyone together with rope.} You're right, it is what we think. 21XMRS: WHY I NOT GET OUT? You don't have superpowers like we do. Now you're even weaker than we are. Mots: I’ll be the judge of that! ATTACK! {They all squirm around in their ropes.} MOTS: Hold on. Just give us a sec. {SRMX12 opens a portal to the opposite universe, and Dean telepathically pushes them through the portal and closes it.} I've sent them back to their own universe. They won't be bothering us no more. I mean, they could still come back to our universe and become recurring villains or something. Shouldn't we have arrested them? Darn, I should've thought of that. I blame my faulty processors. OLODNIRG: Well, regardless of whether they may return, I'd like to extend my sincerest gratitude and apologies for the troubles I've caused of you. I hope we may continue to be friends in the future. Me too, except, like, acquaintances or something. You're just kind of annoying. No offense. OLODNIRG: None taken. I suppose I'll be returning to my home now. {Another portal opens, and the tied up HDOB fall onto Olodnirg.} Pat Sajak: Does anyone else feel something... squishy? WHAT?!? HOW DID THEY GET BACK HERE?!? Raltsnoh Omega: That would be my doing. (Teleports out of rope) Told you we should've arrested them. But I thought the opposite of superpowers was no superpowers! RALTSNOH OMEGA: You're half-right, my reverse-named friend. Your fancy new abilities may have weakened our forces somewhat, but we still have all the powers you lack. Uh, SRMX12? What powers do we lack? Running a search... {ding} Opening portals while tied up, teleporting out of rope, creating an army of muskrats, turning into a croissant... the list goes on. So basically, our superpower-have accomplished nothing. Yep, they're still pretty much omnipotent. NAED: Takes this, yous! {creates an army of muskrats} Not so fast! {mind controls the muskrats} They're on our side now. {The muskrats attack Etibar, who turns into a croissant to defend herself.} Aw man, I wish I could turn into a croissant. Hey, SRMX12. You wouldn't happen to have foreshadowing as a superpower, would you? Huh, I suppose I do. Due to my lightning-fast android brain, I can analyze the current situation and determine possible outcomes. That's great. We can use that to our advantage. There is a 98.3% chance that Mots will unleash a wave of potato salad that will devour us all. Well, tell me something I didn't know. Hey, Gfd? Might want to get your chewing mandibles ready. Foolish mortal, my chewing mandibles are always ready. {Mots unleashes a wave of potato salad, and Gfd sucks it into his mouth.} Well, what do you know, it worked. What else do you predict? I also predict that the HDOB are going to escalate the battle by...at least 40%. How so? By my calculations, either with knives or machine guns. {The HDOB begin shooting knives out of machine guns.} It's worse than I feared. {Gfd zooms around the room for a second, then stops.} There. I ate all the knives. That sounds unpleasant. Yeah, it always slices up my internal organs a bit, but it's nothing a little surgery can't fix. {to SRMX12} So, if you can calculate the opposites' next move, can you also calculate how we can defend ourselves in advance? I can try. Let's see... there's an 81% chance Honstlar should move to the left by three inches. {Honstlar moves to the left by three inches, and a knife flies by his head.} Hey! Gfd, I thought you ate all the knives! Sorry. That one just slipped out. {burp} Sure, anyone can predict that Gfd's eating habits are going to kill us all, but can you predict the backwards brawlers? The reverse curse? The opposite... uh, what rhymes with opposite? Blopposite. Eh, I guess that works. {Greg blinks.} {The HDOB fly through the wall.} Wow, laser eyes and blinking powers? Your eyes are forces to be reckoned with, I'll tell you what. Hey, Robonic, can you tell us what? Sure, I'll tell you what. The HDOB will come inside with flamethrowers and missiles, which I will deflect with a force field, leaving an opening for Greg to blink at them, sending them to jail once and for all. {That happens.} We did it! We arrested the HDOB! (Raltsnoh appears behind Honstlar.) Raltsnoh Omega: Not all of them. Floddannit, how long is this going to take?!? Raltsnoh Omega: Long enough for me to destroy you, but this time you won't have your pathetic excuses for friends to help you. Wait, wha- (Raltsnoh and Honstlar disappear.) Welp, Honstlar's gone. Dibs on his refridgerator. Too late, already called dibs on his refridgerator last week. Where did he go, I wonder? {Cut to a glowing arena, stretching out between two universes, a cosmic void filling the space between them. Honstlar and Raltsnoh appear.} Where are we? RALTSNOH: This... is the bridge between our realities. Where light becomes dark. Where opposites meet. Where one world will meet its demise, while the other emerges victorious. Looks pretty neat. RALTSNOH: Good, because this realm will be the last sight you will see. Oh no! I'm going to go blind? RALTSNOH: I meant I'm going to kill you. But yeah, it's also theoretically possible that you might also go blind. Aw man, I knew I should've picked the interdimensional cosmic battle arena. RALTSNOH: That's not related to— never mind. Let's fight. Can we work out a deal that somehow doesn't result in my death? Like, what if you die instead? RALTSNOH: I will not accept such a negotiation. What if I throw in... {fishes around in his pockets} five moist dollars and a candy wrapper? RALTSNOH: Why are the dollars moist? I spilled some juice all over myself a couple of days ago. RALTSNOH: And you couldn't even bother to get some dry dollars? It's a tempting offer, but the juice is a deal breaker for me. But it's orange juice! Don't you like orange juice? RALTSNOH: I'm your opposite, so I hate orange juice. You do? I'm afraid there's no other choice, then. We have to fight. {They charge toward each other and duke it out.} {Honstlar kicks Raltsnoh Omega.} That's for hating orange juice! {Raltsnoh throws Honstlar across the cosmic void.} RALTSNOH: That's for being the opposite of me in every way! That's not fair! I had no choice! RALTSNOH: That's not true. You made the choice not to join me, and for that, you must perish. More like, you perish! {Raltsnoh is spontaneously sent flying backward into a cosmic boulder.} RALTSNOH: Ow, my susceptibility to scathing comebacks! Found your weakness, have I? Looks like I'm the one who will win this fight! {Raltsnoh faceplants into the ground.} RALTSNOH: Please, no more! I can't recover from the devastating logic of your quippy one-liners! More like, you can't recover from... my... very great at, uh, fighting you...? RALTSNOH: All right, that one was just lame. I'm not affected by such pitiful— ...Nerd! RALTSNOH: {falls down again, embedding a crater in the ground} Ow, all my dignity! I am incapable of reasoning against your snappy retorts! Wait, I think I just figured it out! We're opposites, so you have all the powers that I don't... but you also have all the weaknesses that I don't! Orange juice attack! {Honstlar tosses a bottle of orange juice at Raltsnoh, who stumbles backward in a daze.} RALTSNOH: Nooo, you found another one of my many 7,256 weaknesses!! And so, the fight between Raltsnoh and Honstlar tips in favor of... the second one. {Raltsnoh begins to recover, but Honstlar grabs him and starts to toss him around. Raltsnoh tries to free himself.} You're not getting away this time, Fake Gyllenhaal! RALTSNOH: Oh yes, I will. For, you see, though your strengths may be my weaknesses... my strengths are also your weaknesses! I don't have any weaknesses! RALTSNOH: That you know of, perhaps. But since persimmon sandwiches raise my power significantly, that must mean... {Raltsnoh Omega throws a persimmon sandwich at Honstlar, causing him immense pain and suffering.} OW! I never realized I was so weak to persimmons! RALTSNOH: That's right... for every weakness you don't have, there's a weakness you do. You don't know your own weaknesses, your own limits... but I am the opposite of you in every way, therefore I know everything you do not. All the techniques, the strategies you don't know... I know them all. And that's why you'll never beat me, Honstlar. Everything you are, everything that makes you you... it will all be your downfall, and your pathetic friends will not be here to witness your equally pathetic demise. Or will they...? {to himself} If my weaknesses are his strengths... all I have to do is call upon my greatest strength to be his greatest weakness! I call forth... MY FRIENDS!! {The BODH teleports to the arena.} RALTSNOH: Impossible! I call forth my own allies! {pause} I said come here, you idiots! What are you, deaf?! {The HDOB teleports to the arena.} 21XMRS: WHAT YOU CALLS US? RALTSNOH: You lot are a bunch of daft morons! I summoned your assistance thirty seconds ago, and you're only now arriving?!? BUCSAZ: I didn't hear a please. MOTS: Throw in some potato salad, and I might consider helping. RALTSNOH: I am your leader!! What I say goes, and that's final! CRDGZGXGSGDFG: Who's to say I can't be the leader?! It's not like you do that great of a job anyway! {The HDOB begin fighting each other.} Raltsnoh: On second thought, maybe I should just erase them from existence right now. NAED: Yous talkin' 'bout us or thems? RALTSNOH: You, you dimwits! You think I need your help?! Pah, I say, pah! As if I couldn't beat Honstlar and his puny "friends" on my own! MOTS: You— you can't erase us from existence! I never got my potato salad!! CRDGZGXGSGDFG: Think of all the great times we've had! Working together to kill people, hating each others' guts... uh, remember that one time we got burgers together? E HCOAC: You tried to poison mine. CRDGZGXGSGDFG: Only because you poisoned my burger first!! RALTSNOH: My acquaintances, I'm sorry to inform you... your time in this plane of existence has expired. Permanently. That will be all. {The HDOB vanish in a puff of smoke, with only Raltsnoh Omega remaining.} RALTSNOH: Now, where were we? Uh, we were coming up with a plan to defeat you, I believe. Starting with a distraction... Look over there!! RALTSNOH: {looks behind him} Where? {Stom throws a waffle at Raltsnoh, knocking him to the ground.} You're my opposite, after all. I can resist the old "look over there" trick, which means you can't. And being Honstlar's opposite also makes you vulnerable to waffles! {EDITED Video Greg begins drawing in his sketchbook.} RALTSNOH: Pah, you really think drawing is going to stop me? Doodles do not fall under any of my 7,256 weaknesses! Sure, but you see, Honstlar knows my sketchbook is magic... {takes a cage out of his sketchbook} ...which means you don't. {EDITED Video Greg slams the cage over Raltsnoh.} RALTSNOH: How... how can this be? And WHY CAN'T I ESCAPE?! Oh yeah, the cage is made of cardboard — as flimsy as I could make it. Honstlar can easily escape it, so it stands to reason that you can't. RALTSNOH: This is impossible! I CANNOT ALLOW THIS!! Come back, my Heinous Disorder of Obnoxious Badguys, ASSIST ME!! You see, that's the biggest difference between me and you. I HAVE FRIENDS! RALTSNOH: Keep working, little man. Soon I'll make it out of this cage, and when I do— Technically speaking, your friend-have isn't the biggest difference between you and Raltsnoh. It's the fact that you exist. RALTSNOH: What? {Raltsnoh Omega vanishes.} He is your opposite, after all. There's no way you can both exist simultaneously for very long. Erasing his team from existence... it must've erased him as well! And only by being trapped could his fate take hold. A tragic ending... but a deserved one, frankly. Guy was kind of a jerk. Now that that's done, who wants unpoisoned burgers? I know I do's!   {Laughs} {The camera pans down through the ground until it reaches a purpley void. Raltsnoh pops into the void.} Raltsnoh: Well, this is just swell! Not only did I accidentally on-purpose write my underlings off of the show forever, but I'm now stuck in the center of the earth for some reason! Mark my words, Honstlar, there will be a sequel, and I WILL have my revenge! {Maniacal laughter.} {Iris out, then fade to a greyscale image of Pat Sajak with text reading "1946-Whenever the crap you're reading this cartoon" written below it.} {END.}

(Click on the "4" in "1946" to see an extra scene with Grindolo and the Pretender.) {Cut back to Grintender and The Predolo Grindolo and the Pretender in the same positions they were in during their last scene. Cricket noises are heard.} Did- Did it work? Is Waddler dead yet? Is it safe to move again? Oh yeah, no doubt about it. No way Raltsnoh could've lost. Like, there's no reason to even bother checking. Excellent point, Pretender. ANOTHER VICTORY FOR GRINDOLO!! {A splash is heard.} {Offscreen} That's what I get for jumping over a pool of stink juice before suddenly freezing in mid-air. We have a stink juice pit?