HousemoonEmails/Marshmallows

Email No: 1 Released: 28th August 2018 Page Title: Crescent 500!!! Computer: Crescent 500 = = {Housemoon is searching through the dumpster, looking for something. While he's doing this Weak Good walks onscreen} WEAK GOOD: Housemoon, what are you doing? HOUSEMOON: I'm trying to find my lucky day if you don't mind! WEAK GOOD: Dude you've been doing this for 5 years now! You might want to give up... {Suddenly, while Weak Good is talking, Housemoon finds the Crescent 500 in the dumpster} HOUSEMOON: Gravy jones! I just found a computer! WEAK GOOD: Housemoon... HOUSEMOON: What a nice logo! WEAK GOOD: Housemoon... HOUSEMOON: Wow! TWO contrast knobs! WEAK GOOD: {screaming} HHHHHOOOOOUUUUUUUSSSSSSEEEEEMMMMMOOOOONNN!!!! {Housemoon is suddenly surprised and scared} HOUSEMOON: GLUP... WEAK GOOD: {screaming} THAT COMPUTER IS AT LEAST 35 YEARS OLD! AAAAANNNNDDD WE THREW THAT OUT BECAUSE IT HAD RANDOM SHUTDOWNS! {pause} HOUSEMOON: Even more the reason to use it! {Weak Good puts his head in hands while in dismay} HOUSEMOON: Now if you excusez moi! I'm gonna answer some esnails! {Housemoon walks to the left offscreen} WEAK GOOD: {screaming} IT'S EMAIL! AND HOW DO YOU ANSWER EMAIL ON A 35 YEAR OLD MACHINE! HOUSEMOON: {offscreen} MAGIC! {Cut to a desk without anything on it. Housemoon walks in and places the Crescent 500 on the desk} HOUSEMOON: Finally got him of my trail! {Housemoon clears his throat} HOUSEMOON: {singing} IT'S TIME FOR THE EEEEEMMMMAAAAAIIIIILLLLL!!!!!! {Housemoon reads the email} HOUSEMOON: Well Bretty, my favo food is MARSHMELLOWS! Like, where are you gonna find anything better? WEAK GOOD: ASDA? HOUSEMOON: {angrily} I thought you went away... WEAK GOOD: Nah... I hid under the desk. HOUSEMOON: {horrified} Wha... Wha... WHAT WAS I PUTTING MY FEET ON? WEAK GOOD: My head... HOUSEMOON: Jibblie... Jibblie... Jibblie... Jibblie... Jibblie... {Housemoon jibblies offscreen} WEAK GOOD: Huh! {pause} Weird! {The Papo comes down, after 15 seconds Housemoon comes onscreen} HOUSEMOON: What is that? WEAK GOOD: The floating piece of paper? Yea, I found him in the dumpster too... {long pause} HOUSEMOON: Cool...