Broternal Order Of Different Helmets/Monster Squad III

Idea by: RasterOfMandomness

Trogdor's wreaking havoc on the countryside! So it's up to the BODH Monster-Busting Department to stop him!

Costumes
Honstlar as Dave Lister from Red Dwarf

SRMX12 as Riker from Star Trek: TNG

Gfd as Pac-Man

Stom as Anger from Inside Out

Coach E as Peregrine Mandicant from Homestuck

EVG as Kyon from Haruhi

The Poopsmith as Ech-Ech-Ech-Ech-Ech-Ech-Ech-Ech from Red Dwarf

The Dean as Raven from Teen Titans

The King Of Town as That Pig That Danced To Bad Romance from Sing

Homestar as Mister Metokur

Strong Bad as Lord Zedd from Mighty Morphin Power Rangers

The Cheat as Bojack Horseman as Secretariat

Pom Pom as Filthy Phil from Spongebob

Bubs as Aleksandr from Compare the Meerkat

Strong Mad as the WB Shield

Strong Sad as the Picture of Dorian Gray

Marzipan as Um Jammer Lammy

Homsar as the Koosalagoopagoop from Dexter's Lab

Coach Z as Big Shaq

Transcript
{We open up with Greg and Dean in the only place they ever seem to be in nowadays} Ah, Halloween, the holiday that goths go crazy over. Hey, you wanna see how many people we can upset today by saying Halloween is bad so we can have more candy? Do I? THIS HOLIDAY IS SUCK!! SOME VOICES: RUN OFF A CLIFF!! Wow, 16, a new record! {A bunch of candy is thrown into Greg's hands} It worked!! {The doorbell rings} I'll get it. {Dean opens the door revealing Honstlar} Happy Halloween, Hallodean! I see what ya did there. Come on in! For the Halloween riff... the scariest TV episode of them all. PICKLE RICK. Have to wait, buddy. We can't do it in the script anymore, remember? {Cut to the drawing of Trogdor in Strong Bad's house. In the background we hear audio from commercials for laundry pods, that Three Bears cartoon, a commercial for McDonald's then-new teriyaki dipping sauce, the KOT yelling "SAUCE!!", and Jake Paul diss tracks followed by the drawing of Trogdor disappearing from the piece of paper. A shadow of Trogdor roars.} TROGDOR: {in a robotic voice} THE. TROGDOR. HAS. COME. IN. THE. NIGHT. {Trogdor is very briefly dressed as the Black Beast of Arrgh before destroying it} NARRATOR: Wait, we did that already. {Trogdor retreats back to drawing and moves around as the drawing instead. Cut back to Greg, Dean, and Honstlar.} DAHHH! What was that? I don't know. I feel a disturbance like a great power has been unleashed onto this mortal realm, and it isn't happy. {Dean is burninated for no discernible reason} Aw, man. Dean burned up. Well, gotta get some groceries. {walks away} {Greg is left standing in shock. Cut to the grocery store.} Ooh! Parsley. And sage. Rosemary... and— Excuse me, I can't seem to find the power tools. I think they're in aisle 13, on the right. Thanks. I've really been craving— {burninated} {Honstlar slowly backs away. He trips on a sheet of lined paper...} Gee wiz, dropped my shopping list. {And he looks NEXT to that to see...} Oh geez. I've seen this before back in the great ninja pirate zombie robot attack of '07. We gots to do something. What's this? {He realizes it's the piece of paper Strong Bad used to draw Trogdor, but without Trogdor} Oh egads! Trogdor has escaped!! But how? VOICE: {robotic, hard to understand} Hello, peasant. who are you VOICE: {robotic, hard to understand} I am your worst night-a-mare. {burninates Greg} AHHH! The fire on me is burning! {turns into a pile of ash} Aw man. Not Greg too. {looks at his grocery list} Ooh! Forgot eggs. {SRMX12 stands there in shock} Honstlar! We have to stop the burninator! But how? {Strong Sad walks through the store, looking for depressing items} SS undefined You know, blogs seem to be trip and hendy again. That's it. Strong Sad's counterculture enough to defeat that oversaturated dragon. I loved that blog unironically. Who'd he say that to? And where'd Greg come from? I came back to life for plot convenience. Oh, that's good. Excardon me, Mr. Sad, but I have a favor to ask of you... Can you prove your worth as the ultimate normal person here? SS undefined Come again? A blog, I mean. We need you to make a post on your blog. SS undefined Oh, I don't know... I'm not sure if I'm ready for all the fame and stardom that would result. Come on, man! A beefy-armed wingaling dragon has just been released on the countryside due to the power of internet jokes! Your blog may be the only thing that can stop it! SS undefined Well, if you put it that way... Sure, I guess I'll do it. We're saved!! SS undefined I just have to remember my BlogThing password. We're boned. SS undefined But don't you worry a bit! I'm sure I can remember. It was the number of pixels on my computer screen, plus the number of times I had said the word "the" at the time of my last post, divided by six-million-four-hundred-and-twenty-three-thousand-and-something, then my great-aunt's middle name. so it should be no problem to remember. It'll only take a few days, trust me! Oh, come on! Okay, while you remember your password, we'll try to take down that Trog-ghost. SS undefined Luckily, I just happen to know a great ghost hunter! She can help you guys. {dials his phone} Hello? Sharpdene? (Cut to Strong Bad in his Sharpdene get-up holding the phone.) SB undefined Anudder ghost-huntin', you say? Sounds like a job for my name Sharpdene! 'Cause my name Sharpdene. {hangs up} {Cut to the Field at night} SB undefined So explain the situasche to ol' Sharpdene. Trogdor has returned because of the Internet. Now he's a ghost or something, and burninating anyone who— {Coach E is burninated} GWAH!! See? This happens all the time! SB undefined Sounds like you need Sharpdene! (Trogdor attempts to burninate Sharpdene, but an invisible force protects the ghostbustin' coat rack) SB undefined I'm flame-retardant. On the count of my name bein' Sharpdene. Nice! Can we do that? SB undefined A'course. The first step is changin' yer names to Sharpdene. Okay, Sharpdene. Are you talking to me, Sharpdene? No, I'm talking to Sharpdene. Which Sharpdene? The coat rack-looking Sharpdene, Sharpdene. Ohh. That Sharpdene. What's the second step, Sharpdene? SB undefined Second step is you need these force field machines. {gives small devices} Just put 'em in yer pockets or whatever. All right. Anything else? SB undefined Yep. Third step is... well, ignoring the first step. You don't actually have to change your name. Oh. So I'm Honstlar again? SB undefined Yeppers. Unless you still want peoples to call ya Sharpdene. Oh, that's a relief. That's one trip to the Name Change Place that I won't be taking. I still wanna be called Sharpdene. But with a space in between Sharp and Dene. SB undefined Now let's get a ghost huntin'! It'll be hard doing this without Garbles, Coach E, or Dean. So, how do we hunt for ghosts? Do we get cool technology, or are there special techniques, or what? SB undefined I dunno (my name Sharpdene). I haven't thought about (Sharpdene) it all that much. Don't worry, I've got us covered. I've seen Ghostbusters. {The Ghostbusters theme starts playing, set to a montage of the remaining BODH and Sharpdene getting equipment and uniforms} {singing} If there's something odd, in Free Country now, who you gonna call? ALL: MONSTER SQUAD! {singing} If there's ghosts up here, and you don't know how, who you gonna call? ALL: MONSTER SQUAD!! (Guitar solo) I ain't afraid of Trogdor. Uh... how does the rest of the song go? Is that it? Oh there's more... (Singing) If you see a demon, riding a bobsled, Who can you call? All: MONSTER SQUAD!!! A three-eyed troll, eating all your bread, Who can you call? All: MONSTER SQUAD!!!!

When there's fourty trolls, in a purple bed, who is super great? ALL: MONSTER SQUAD!! If an evil pie eats your neighbor's face, who can stave it off? ALL: MONSTER SQUAD!! {Guitar solo} I ain't afraid of Trogdor. {Another guitar solo} All: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah! {Music ends as Greg walks in.} You do know that Trogdor has killed like, 5 people since you started singing, right? Oh. SHARPDENE: Well, we'd better get movin'. On account o' my name bein' Sharpdene and all that. Well, now that we have the ghost-hunting equipment... how do we find Troggie? SHARPDENE: Turn on yer ghost frequency tracker. {Everyone takes a machine out of their pocket and turns it on. Beeping noises are heard.} SHARPDENE: The closer we get to Trog'r, the faster these beeps will sound. That sounds easy enough. Sharpdene: But sometimes that thar thing gets confused, sometimes it Trog'r, sometimes it's just an Arby's. Seems weird to get those mixed up. SHARPDENE: Shut yerself up, Sharp Dene. Arby's happ'n to be very easy to mistake for Trog'r. Now let's find that ghost! {turns around} The beeps seem to be comin' from this-a-way. {Everyone goes that-a-way} SHARPDENE: Ooh, dem beeps gettin' faster! 'Cause my name Sharpdene. {They run toward Trogdor... but it's an Arby's} Hey, this place burninates your insides...so...success? STOM: I want some curly fries. SHARPDENE: Yeah, Sharpdene's got a cravers for some flavors. Let's get a bite, you-know-it's-'cause-my-name's-Sharpdene. {They walk inside} Yeah, I'll take some chicken strips and a crapload of curly fries. Cashier: {In a hard to understand robotic voice} Will that be all? Well, seeing as we're pretty hungry, we'll probably need some moOOOOOOOORE!!!!! (Cut to Trogdor in an Arby's uniform.) SHARPDENE: Whattayaknow. That thar machine did find Trog'r after all. RUN FOR YOUR LIVES, EVERYBODY!! We have force field machines, remember? Ohhhh right. False alarm. {Trogdor attempts to burninate them, but his flames bounce off them} HONSTLAR: Defeat the Trog-menace! {Everyone charges toward Trogdor, then stops} Uh, how, exactly? Do I even need to say it? SRMX12: What, Strong Sad's blog post? {Cut to Strong Sad walking around the Field at night with a computer, as characters are burninated around him} SS undefined My password is... does it start with a 1? No, it's a 2. And then... {Cut back to Arby's} Honstlar: No, I guess I will have to say it. IT'S MORPHIN TIME! {They morph} And now, a kick to the face! {leaps up to kick Trogdor, but flies right through him and hits the wall} Ow, my face. Right. He's a ghost. We can't hit him. Yeah, but we can stave him off until Strong Sad remembers his passwoid. I got it! Eh, Troggy! TROGDOR: {computery voice} What is it, peasant? Guess what? We're a-peeling... POTATOES!! {EDITED Video Greg fires an avalanche of potatoes at Trogdor} Trogdor: TOO MUCH STARCH!!! Hey Greg, why are you shooting potatoes? Gfd shoots potatoes, not you. Yeah, but Gfd was burninated, so I have to fill in for him. Well, don't stop now! {Trogdor becomes buried in a pile of potatoes} SB undefined WE DID IT! {Trogdor breaks out of the potatoes and roars} We didn't. {They run out of the restaurant, and Trogdor chases them around the countryside at night. They are now de-morphed.} What do we do? We can't touch him! He's a ghost! SB undefined Well, we got ghost-huntin' 'quipment. We just gotta trap 'im in some sorta box er some'n, and I'm Sharpdene. And hope that Strong Sad remembers his password in time. That too, Sharp Dene. Can you tell me how this ghost-catching equipment works? SB undefined Well, first off (since my name's Sharpdene), you press this button. Then you pull this wire, and connect it to this one over here, and press the small button three times, but hold it down the third time. Then you gotta type "GHOST" into the little keyboard that pops up, then you gotta push the controls to the left, which will... WHY MUST GHOST CATCHING BE SO COMPLICATED?!?!?! SB undefined Or you can just say "Hey, ghost machine" and it automatically happens. It's voice-activated. You could've said that earlier. SB undefined Hey, ghost machine! {Everyones' ghost-catching devices get ready to get Trogdor} SB undefined Stom! I mean, Sharp Dene! Press that thar button on the side to tie 'im up! {presses a button, which causes a rope to come out and tie up Trogdor} SB undefined SRMX12! Press that li'l button to keep 'im from escapin'! {presses a button, stopping Trogdor from moving} SB undefined And now, Honstlar... SB undefined Press both buttons at the same time to get 'im in yer ghost box! {presses both buttons} {Trogdor floats up and becomes absorbed by the box} We did it! We captured Trogdor! {The box starts shaking} ...For now. Will that thing escape? SB undefined Oh, yeppers. I give it... ten, twenty seconds, tops. So, basically we did this for nothing? SB undefined Nopers. If that dump fella remembers his password soon, Troggy might be done fer good. {The box shakes more vigorously, and Trogdor's roar is heard. Cut to Strong Sad's room.} SS undefined Ah-ha! SSDepress1987! I knew it all along! {types the password in} Now to make my triumphant return to the blogging world... {Strong Sad starts typing}

Been A While - 10.31.2017 posted at 11:32pm current mood: http://homestarrunner.com/sadjournal/sadicon3.gif existent current tunes: Helmet Quest: The Soundtrack Greetings, all you negative two Strong Sad fans out there. I realize I haven't updated my blog for a little while. "A little while", in this case, meaning over a decade. My most recent post has already reached its teenage years. I hope it behaves itself. When Strong Bad was a teenager, he punched me in the forehead every morning, promptly at 8:47. Although I suppose he's even worse now. The teenage years aren't so bad, now that I think about it. I doubt anyone's reading this. Are you reading this? How? Have you been stalking my blog for the last 13 years just waiting for an update? That's depressing... you should rethink your life choices. Oh wait, I mean-- That's depressing... keep doing that. Depressing things are awesome. They make me happy. Wait, what? That sounds like a bit of a conundrum, if I'm to be perfectly honest. It's like my whole life is a meaningless paradox, which is depressing, which is nice. A lot has happened since I last updated my blog. I've started a novelique saga about the philosophical contemplations of Rondell, a man who has yet to meet his doom. I'm currently on book XVIII: Ubiquitous Ruminations of Needless Loquatiousness. I've also become a decent chef. No, not a good chef, a decent chef. As in, I've become somewhat mediocre. Now, my food is only mildly burnt. Before, I burned the house down several times. Although it's kind of annoying to eat burnt yogurt. Or to serve your brothers burnt yogurt and get hit in the kneecap forty times. That's one of Strong Bad and Strong Mad's favorite activities nowadays. They call it "40 Times Soolnd Slapdown", and they race to see who can hit me in the kneecap fourty times first. Oh dear, I spelled it "forty" the first time and "fourty" the second. I don't even know how to spell a simple number. I'm doomed. I notice it hasn't rained in Free Country for a couple weeks. That makes me less depressed, which, of course, makes me more depressed. I enjoy going outside and standing in my front yard, feeling the cold rain dribble down my forehead. It really helps with the soreness of the 8:47 AM punches. The rain also helps me think of poetry. I see the gas molecules form into water droplets, kerplunk to the ground and splatter into pieces, and turn into clouds again. It reminds me how meaningless life really is. We're all water droplets, endlessly cycling through a routine we will never escape. In closing, here is a haiku I wrote just now: Damp room, darkéned lights Gloomy weather out of sight Not going outside

SS undefined {presses Enter} Ol' Double-S, you have really outdone yourself this time! {A box pops up, reading "Are you sure you want to submit this?", with buttons reading "Yes" and "No"} SS undefined Hmm... {Cut back to the BODH. The ghost box continues trembling.} SB undefined She's gonna blow! {Cut back to Strong Sad. He puts his hand on the mouse.} {Cut back to the BODH} SB undefined 5... 4... {Cut back to Strong Sad. He slowly moves the mouse forward.} SB undefined {voiceover} 3... 2... {Cut back to the BODH. Trogdor breaks out of the box.} SB undefined 1! We're all gonna die!! Save us, Strong Sad! {Cut back to Strong Sad's screen. He moves the cursor over the "No" button.} {Cut back to the BODH. Trogdor opens his mouth, with an orange glow coming from it.} He's going to burninate us! {Cut back to Strong Sad's screen. He slowly moves the cursor to the "Yes" button.} SS undefined {voiceover} Should I post this? {Cut back to Trogdor. Sparks come out of his mouth as he prepares to burninate.} {Cut to Strong Sad's hand, about to click the mouse} {Cut to Trogdor, then to Strong Sad's hand, then Trogdor, then Strong Sad's hand... and he clicks the mouse} {The box on the screen reads "Posting...", then "Posted."} {Cut to Trogdor. He starts burninating, but then starts fading away.} What's happening?! He's disappearing! Strong Sad saved us all!! HOORAY! {Pause} So, what do we do now? Yeah, what about all those burninated people? SB undefined Oh right, those. SB undefined Don't worry, I'll fix this promblem or my name ain't Sharpdene! AndmynameisSharpdene. But how? They're burned to a crisp! You can't just— SB undefined Oh look, this ghost-catchin' machine has a "ressurect" button. That's handy. {presses it} {Gfd, Coach E, Dean, and a bunch of other characters appear} Garbles! Dean! Me! You guys are alive!! I know, right? Being ashes is really uncomfortable. Wait, that thing has a "ressurect" button? Why haven't you used that before?! It could solve all the world's problems! SB undefined Um, it only works once. That's a terrible machine. SB undefined Sure is. Also, it causes some side effects. Wait, what?! Gfd, you haven't noticed any side effects, have you? No, not at all. I feel great! Especially when I destroy all humans... Pardon? I said, uh, we should get some more eggs at the store. We're running out. Great idea! It looks like everything's okay now. ALL: YAAAY! {They jump in the air, then freeze frame.} Seriously, all humans, watch out!

{Fade to the forest.} { as Peregrine Mandicant from Homestuck} Hey Coachy, I really like your kidnapping victim costume. And, like... wrapped in duct tape. Costume. Wait, so does that make you some kind of a tape-leg? So, I have a question for the only other "Homest" around here... is he a terrific athlete? { as Pac-Man} Waka waka waka. Awww snap, here comes Gfd. What are you talking about? I'm already here. Nevermind. 'S a reference. { as Riker from Star Trek: TNG} So, Starmx-twelve, what's that thing you have? It looks like a waffle coming out of a small toaster. Helmets Log, Earth-date not-nearly-Halloween-enough: I demand me some toasted waffles. {hands SRMX12 a waffle} Thank you, Ensign Stom. { as Dave Lister from Red Dwarf} Honstlar, you have a real dirty coat. {In an accent} Don't you dare insult my coat, you smeg-head! What's smeg? That stuff sounds delicious! [Stom as Anger] So. Stom. Fire comin' out of your head? Looks painful, man. You should get that checked out. See a doctor. You have all the symptoms of spontaneous head burnination. A rare and delicious disease. Or wait, is that part of your costume? Setting fire to your head? Some real dedication there, my friend. Shut up already! This isn't even real fire!! DON'T REPLACE ME! I'M THE ANGRY CHARACTER ON THIS SHOW!! Don't worry, big fella, it's just for this one Halloween. [EDITED Video Greg as Kyon] Oh man, the Greg of Capitalized Video Editing. You're dressed as anime hair man! And... fancy suit man. You know, from the Anime-Hair-And-Fancy-Suit-Man Show? It's a classic, a real classic. [Homestar as Mister Metokur] GAH! Homestar, what happened to your face? Oh, that? I was just going to dress up as Headphones McBaseballman, but someone with red hands, green eyes, and a name that rhymes with Strong Bad decided to replace all my towels with erasers! Lookin' at you, Marzipan! [Strong Bad as Lord Zedd from Mighty Morphin Power Rangers] Woah, Strong Bad, nice Lord Zedd 'stume! Lord Zedd? Sounds like my type of guy! [Strong Mad as the WB Shield] Hey Graw Mad. I really like your W. C. Fields costume. SS undefined He's not W. C. Fields, he's W. B. Shields! Right, right. What does WB stand for anyway? Whole-wheat Bread? Weclome Back? Wandering Blissfully? Warbly Blarbly? Weird Blobs? Warning Brethren? Wghxhfgh Byzgsgqrc? That's my cousin's name! Ooh ooh! Warner Broternals! That's totally gonna be the name of my movie studio! I guess WB's full name shall remain a mystery for millenia to come. {hysterically} MOVIE... LOGOS... Logos of a movie... LOGO! LOGO!! [Coach Z as Big Shaq] Two plus two is four, minus one dat's tree, quick maerths. SB undefined You may know math, but I'm pretty sure you flunked English class. Wart are you tacking aboot, String Bod? SB undefined I rest my case. Three plus nine is four, times spheven, that's fhlarb. Divided by shlurfteen and two halves equals ninety ninety oneteen! Quick maths! SB undefined You, on the other hand, fail every class. Ever. [Pom Pom as Filthy Phil from Spongebob] Hey, Pom Pilot, I really like your green fish man who probably lives in a storage locker with crap on the walls cos- (Homestar sniffs) Eww... Why do you smell like the basement of an anime fan's garage? [The King of Town as That Pig That Danced To Bad Romance from Sing] Is anyone going to say something about my costume? Like that I'm even more of a pig now? No? Honestly, I was waiting for you to try to eat yourself. And I was waiting for me to try to eat yourself! Something's wrong. The real Gfd wouldn't even have waited to try. Nah, man. I already did it so fast, the versions of me that did and didn't eat him continuously battle for existence. [Bubs as Aleksandr from Compare the Meerkat] *click* Simples. [Strong Sad as the Picture of Dorian Gray] SS undefined Hey Strong Bad, you're dying to write all about the fact that I'm so ugly, the real me outside the basement must be a stud! SB undefined ...No. I wasn't. On this date, this year...Strong Sad became self-aware. [Homsar as the Koosalagoopagoop from Dexter's Lab] HS undefined DaAaAahh, cram a Pepe Wrap down a juvenile's gullet!