Broternal Order Of Different Helmets/Waddlemania

Season 1: Episode 4

The Order becomes wrestlemans, fights each other, makes gimmicks, and gets interviewed.

Cast (in order of appearance): Honstlar, Homestar Runner, Strong Bad, EDITED Video Greg, Senor Cardgage (voice only), Coach Z,, Coach E, SRMX12, Strong Sad, The Announcer, Homsar, The Umpire

Places: Pillquarters, Gymnasium

Date: Sunday, April 30, 2017 - Thursday, July 27, 2017

Running Time: 9:43

Transcript
{Open to a scene from the previous episode}

HONSTLAR: Now let's hear frooom... SRMX12!

{Cut to SRMX12's spot, which is empty}

HONSTLAR: Earth to Brother SRMX12! Where is he?

COACH Z: Whort's this about Syore Mix-A-Lot?

HONSTLAR: Oy, this guy. No offense, Sister E.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Thewe he is! {"points" to the wall}

HONSTLAR: It's just a wall.

STRONG BAD: Homestar, were you just doing that so you could quote that stupid movie?

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Pretty much.

EDITED VIDEO GREG: STRONG BAD! Don't talk about that movie like that! He'll get to us... Let me undo any damage by saying: COOL CAT IS COOLER THAN PAPA CARDGAGE'S PUDDIN' PATCH!

SENOR CARDGAGE: {from a distance; upset} Where is Tompkins... where is coleslaw... here I am.

HONSTLAR: Thanks for the save, Brother Greg! We were almost a Broternal-Order-of-Different-Helmets-and-a-cat sandwich!

''{Cut to a wide shot. Crickets chirp.}''

STRONG BAD: That was not funny.

{SRMX12 walks in}

HONSTLAR: Okay, let's move on! We should advance our reach by creating a BODH stable in AWMPSCE! We'll be as famous as both The Shockmaster and Rocky Miavia rolled up in a Mr. America tortilla! But what should our individual gimmicks be? We can't start as our own dang selves!

GFDGSGXGZGDRC: Ooh! I could be, um, "The Guy With Two Hats"! My gimmick would be that I would wear two hats all the time! Or maybe I could be "The Guy With A Shoe Taped To His Face", and have a shoe taped to my face... all the time. Alternatively, my wrestling gimmick could be "Stampy Two-style". I would... um... be... like... doing stuff... like saying "Stampy Two-style". Repeatedly. That's a good gimmick! ...Right??

HONSTLAR: Oh! Maybe you could be The Tongue Twister! You know, cause nobody can pronounce your name, right?

GFDGSGXGZGDRC: Hey, that's a great gimmick! I can't even pronounce Gfrgsd... Ggfdsj... Grgzdrc... my name. And my signature wrestling move could be... the Tongue Twister 5000, in which I jump into space, grab a meteor, ride on it back to Earth, spin around several times in a cool-style way, and throw it at my opponent whilst I do my victory dance! I'm not sure how exactly to do that yet, so I'll need a bit of practice.

HONSTLAR: But what should my gimmick be?

GFDGSGXGZGDRC: Why don't you be... uh... Strong Bad? Oh wait. That name's taken already. I guess you could be Coach Z then. That's a good wrestling name, isn't it?

HONSTLAR: How about Waddlem'n? Because I waddle when I walk. I could wear a shirt that's the same color as the one I already wear, but it would say "wrastle". And my finisher would be "Edgardo's Choice" which consists of a spin kick, a top rope jump, a complete 360, an Atomic Leg Drop, and an "I-Don't-Have-A-Claw Mandible Claw".

GFDGSGXGZGDRC: That's a great idea! Together, we'll team up and form... the "The-Tongue-Twister-And-Also-Waddlem'n-Trio-Starring-These-Two-Guys-Called-The-Tongue-Twister-And-Waddlem'n! ...Team!". So, when's the tournament?

STRONG BAD: Me being a veteran crafty ring veteran, I know AWMPSCE's schedule inside out! It's in a couple of seconds.

ALL: A couple of seconds?!

{Everybody, everybody runs to the Gymatorium}

THE ANNOUNCER: {voiceover} The following contest is scheduled for one fall!

{Gardenboy slowly walks towards the ring}

THE ANNOUNCER: {voiceover} Making his way to the ring...

{Honstlar, in full Waddlem'n mode, grabs Gardenboy and throws him offscreen}

STRONG SAD: Douglas!

THE ANNOUNCER: {voiceover} From out of nowhere, weighing in at two-hundred and tooty-two pounds, Waddlem'n!

{Waddlem'n gets in the ring}

THE ANNOUNCER: {voiceover} And his opponent... weighing 19 pounds or tons, it's The Tongue Twister!!

GFDGSGXGZGDRC: Wait, we're opponents?!

HONSTLAR: Yeah, The Jack 'Em Up Kid canceled at the last minute. Said something about a club or something.

GFDGSGXGZGDRC: Okay, this might hurt a lottle.

{Bell rings}

THE ANNOUNCER: {voiceover} The fight begins!

GFDGSGXGZGDRC: {attempts to jump into space and grab a meteor but fails, hits the ground and sustains a terrible head injury}

HONSTLAR: {sitting with his feet up on a table, drinking water with an umbrella in it} I think I'm winning!

''{Honstlar finishes the drink and walks over to Gfd and stands him up. He "punches" Gfd in the chin.}''

THE ANNOUNCER: {voiceover} Ooh, an uppercut!

''{Honstlar then performs "Edgardo's Choice". Gfd starts choking before pausing.}''

GFDGSGXGZGDRC: That's one tasty sock!

{Gfd returns to choking, then faints}

THE ANNOUNCER: {voiceover} The shoulders are down!

''{Honstlar then goes for the pin. Coach Z in a black and white striped tracksuit runs to the ring and slaps the floor.}''

COACH Z: One, two, tree!

{The bell rings again}

THE ANNOUNCER: Here is your winner, Waddlem'n!

HONSTLAR: Yes!

''{Cut to backstage. Gfd is lounging near the snack machine, looking good as new. Honstlar walks in.}''

HONSTLAR: We need to cut a promo to show that we are a team and&mdash; wait, where are the others?

{"Pomp and Circumstance" plays as EDITED Video Greg enters, wearing an Andre the Giant/Trashman singlet, a toga and those things people with togas have in their hair, and Plankton's antenna}

EDITED VIDEO GREG: It's my character. I'm Ivyboy. My gimmick is that I went to college.

''{The music stops. Honstlar and Gfd stare dumbfounded.}''

EDITED VIDEO GREG: Hey, it really is the most fantasticmagiorial thing I could think of.

GFDGSGXGZGDRC: Anyone want a half-eaten sock?

HONSTLAR: LOVE the gimmick, just love it! But, what about SRMX?

SRMX12: {walks in} 12! You're not pronouncing the 12! My number is just as important as my letters! What's this about gimmicks? I love gimmicks! I can do the gimmickiest of gimmicks in the history of gimmicks. I can be the Three Different Wrestlers&mdash; and my gimmick is that I'm secretly only one wrestler. The wrastling ring won't know what hit it! Then there's my signature move&mdash; the Supreme Four-Point-Seven. I don't know what it involves yet, but what my opponent doesn't know won't hurt them!

HONSTLAR: Ohhh. Mick Foley styles. Noice! And sorry about the lack of 12s. Now, all we need is our own entrance music like Ivyboy. Got any ideas?

GFDGSGXGZGDRC: Is mayonnaise an entrance theme?

HONSTLAR: I think. Is it?

GFDGSGXGZGDRC: Then my theme is mayonnaise!

{Mayonnaise starts playing}

GFDGSGXGZGDRC: What about you, Honst&mdash; Waddlem'n?

HONSTLAR: Either "Medal", Hulk Hogan's old theme that turned into a Bonnie Tyler song, or "We're All Together Now". What about you SRMX12? What theme would you use?

{SRMX12 thinks as the Final Jeopardy music plays}

HONSTLAR: Is this your music?

SRMX12: No, it's not my entrance music, it's my thinking music!

HONSTLAR: Oh.

EDITED VIDEO GREG: May I propose Dust Devil by D-Code? Maybe your gimmick could be The Adult Swimmer, you obsess over cartoons that have had barely any new activity in years but somehow still have fans. ...I just got chills. I feel like I made some sort of poignant comment...

{Music finishes}

SRMX12: I've made my decision!

EVERYONE ELSE: Hooray!

HONSTLAR: So, what's your entrance theme?

SRMX12: It is...

{Dramatic music}

SRMX12: ...a song!

{Music ends}

EDITED VIDEO GREG: Yes, we know, but which one?

GFDGSGXGZGDRC: I can help with suggestions if you'd like! Personally, if I were you, I'd go with that ol' '70s classic, "Bread is a Good Time (For Me)".

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {pops into screen dressed up as the Jack 'Em Up Kid} Hey, that's already my theme!

COACH Z: I'd choose my newest hip single, "One Two One Two, One Two One Two, And I'm Out"!

GFDGSGXGZGDRC: Izzat the name or the lyrics?

COACH Z: Both! It's like two moist towels crampled up into one moldy lacker!

GFDGSGXGZGDRC: Yeah, I'm just gonna walk away now. Slowly. And backwards.

HONSTLAR: How about "Because, It's Midnite"?

GFDGSGXGZGDRC: {singing painfully off-key} I GOT THE WINGS OF THE LIONS, AND THE HEART OF SOME STUFF BECAUSE IT'S SOMETIMES!!

{Everyone covers their ears in pain}

HONSTLAR: Never. Sing. Again.

GFDGSGXGZGDRC: Sorry, I couldn't remember some of the words.

HONSTLAR: Now we are ready! Now let's cut a promo!

GFDGSGXGZGDRC: The cameram'n has arrived!

{Cut to Homsar, upside down, holding a camera}

HOMSAR: DaAaAaAaAah'm the warm laundry in the shoe pile!

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Sewiously, Com Com, that guy is fweaky deeky!

HONSTLAR: He ain't heavy, he's my brother! Sort of.

{Cut to the Announcer and the BODH standing in front of the blue curtains with the golden WWF AWMPSCE logo}

THE ANNOUNCER: Ladies and gentlemen, we are about to meet the oddest stable to barge into AWMPSCE territory, the... what's your name again?

HONSTLAR: The BUTTKICKING Order of Different Helmets!

GFDGSGXGZGDRC: Hey, we never agreed on that. I thought we'd call it the "Gfd-is-Great" Order of Different Helmets or something. Rolls off the tongue! ...Twister.

HONSTLAR: Can we talk about the name after the promo?! ...I mean WELL YOU KNOW ANNOUNCERMAN? We are psyched!

THE ANNOUNCER: Excellent!

HONSTLAR: We here at the... Well, you know, are about to make a mark not only in AWMPSCE, but in all of sports entertainment! Am I right, guys?

ALL: Yeah!

HONSTLAR: Now, I'm not the only talker, take Ivyboy for example. {passes the mic to Ivyboy}

EDITED VIDEO GREG: Umm... word talk?

{Cricket noises}

EDITED VIDEO GREG: Let me try that again. {clears throat and begins to speak} Catch Ivyboy in "Sorority Going Down", this Friday only on Cable Music Channel.

''{Awkward silence. Honstlar whispers to Greg.}''

EDITED VIDEO GREG: ...What do you mean it's not that kind of promo? All right, let's try this again... is wrestling a sport? I never quite passed high school athletics, does this count as valid credit? {passes the microphone to Gfd}

GFDGSGXGZGDRC: So, whats I say?

HONSTLAR: Just, you know, talk about yourself, your wrestling techniques, how happy you are to be part of the tournament... stuff like that.

GFDGSGXGZGDRC: I like pancakes. {pause} That's all I have to say. It's what defines my personality. In fact, that'll be my wrestling slogan. "The Tongue Twister &mdash; I like pancakes!" Man... that sounds so cool.

HONSTLAR: Oookay, now let's hear from the Three Different Wre&mdash;

GFDGSGXGZGDRC: Hold on hold on! I'm not done. I also like socks. Especially when they're filled with butter. They have such a sweet, moist, sweaty flavor... Okay, now I'm done.

{Cut to the rest of the BODH, who are all confused and/or traumatized}

HONSTLAR: Okay, that was gross. Now the Three Different Wrestlers get to talk!

EDITED VIDEO GREG: ...He seems to be gone. I'll take over. Not like he specified what three wrestlers. {takes the microphone and prepares to speak}

THE ANNOUNCER: Well there you have it, wrestling fans, the newest stable taking AWMPSCE by storm? Stay tuned for more info...

{The camera stops rolling and The Announcer leaves}

EDITED VIDEO GREG: OH COME ON!

GFDGSGXGZGDRC: Nooo! Come back! I was just about to explain all the condiments you could use on melted gym socks to enhance its pungentness!

{Greg gives Gfd a shocked look}

HONSTLAR: The nerve of some people! Randomly ending the interview before Greg could say a thing...

EDITED VIDEO GREG: But I told the guy&mdash;

HONSTLAR: That doesn't count!

THE UMPIRE: {walks in} What do we have here?

HONSTLAR: Oy, this guy.

GFDGSGXGZGDRC: What do you want, Manilla-Paper Man?

THE UMPIRE: I run AWMPSCE now for no real reason and I want you to work for me and become an official stable.

HONSTLAR: Really?

THE UMPIRE: Uh... yes.

HONSTLAR: Finally, I can fulfill my childhood dream of becoming a pro wrestler!

EDITED VIDEO GREG: I'm not sure about this. I mean, what's in it for me?

THE UMPIRE: Uh... you getting paid to beat the crap out of people on TV?

EDITED VIDEO GREG: Okay, I'm in.

''{The Umpire pulls out a contract out of hammerspace. The only thing written on it is "I be a wrestler."}''

THE UMPIRE: Just sign here.

HONSTLAR: {picks up the contract and signs it} We're in!

{Everyone jumps in the air and freezes, then SRMX12 walks in eating a sandwich.}

SRMX12: Hey, what did I miss?

{Cut to a screen reading "END."}

Inside Reference

 * The plot is based on yes, wrestling.
 * EDITED Video Greg mentions Papa Cardgage's Puddin' Patch.
 * There are cricket noises after Honstlar tells his joke and after Ivyboy attempts to word talk.
 * Some of Gfd's proposed gimmicks include doing things all the time.
 * One of the identites Gfd thinks of is "Stampy Two-style".
 * Honstlar's wrestling identity is Waddlem'n, and he refers to Homsar as the cameram'n.
 * "The-Tongue-Twister-And-Also-Waddlem'n-Trio-Starring-These-Two-Guys-Called-The-Tongue-Twister-And-Waddlem'n" "...Team" is an overdescriptive noun.
 * Strong Sad says "Douglas" while being tossed aside.
 * Waddlem'n weighs two hundred and tooty-two pounds.
 * Gfd says "This might hurt a lottle", from magic trick.
 * Gfd chokes on a tasty sock. He also says he likes socks filled with butter.
 * Coach Z was a referee in montage.
 * Ivyboy's gimmick is that he went to college.
 * "Bread is a Good Time (For Me)" is a reference to origins.
 * Coach Z mentions moist towels.
 * Gfd suggests and painfully sings "Because, It's Midnite".
 * The Umpire pulls a contract from hammerspace.

Real-World References

 * Wrestlers The Shockmaster, Rocky Miavia, Mr. America, Mick Foley are mentioned.
 * Some of the wrestlers' entrance themes or suggested themes include Pomp and Circumstance, Medal, We're All Together Now, and Dust devil.
 * Ivyboy wears an André the Giant singlet and Plankton's antenna.
 * The line "Is mayonnaise an entrance theme?" is probably a reference to that SpongeBob SquarePants episode.
 * The Jeopardy! music plays as SRMX12 thinks.
 * EDITED Video Greg mentions Adult Swim.
 * The "He ain't heavy, he's my brother" comment is a reference to a Canadian anti-drug PSA created by the non-profit organization, Concerned Children's Advertisers (now known as Companies Committed to Kids).