Broternal Order Of Different Helmets/Rage Against The Pom

Season 1: Episode 10

The unthinkable happens... Pom Pom finds out.

Cast (in order of appearance): Honstlar, Honstlar's Clones, EDITED Video Greg,, SRMX12, Homestar Runner, Pom Pom, The Goblin (Easter egg), Coach Z, Strong Sad, Strong Mad, Bubs, The Poopsmith, Senor Cardgage (Easter egg), Strong Bad (Easter egg, voice only)

Places: Pillquarters, The Street, Weird Shrub (Easter egg), Pom Pom's Mansion (Easter egg)

Date: Thursday, September 21, 2017 - Wednesday, September 27, 2017

Running Time: 5:09

Transcript
{Open to the Order in the Pillquarters}

HONSTLAR: New episode time!

HONSTLARS 2-21: NEW EPISODE TIME!

HONSTLAR: Gfd! The flying elves&mdash; I mean clones are back!

EDITED VIDEO GREG: Oh no, I'm sick and tired of hearing about elves. Particularly the area where you can store them for a Christmas. Get out here now or so help me I'm not buying cookies anymore.

HONSTLAR: Why would you? We already have enough rations for thirty years.

EDITED VIDEO GREG: Well my friend, we gotta introduce you to brand namenocomicd with this little video I whipped up.

''{He holds up his phone and plays the video. After an opening credits sequence it displays the title screen of C.H.E.A.T.}''

EDITED VIDEO GREG: WHAT THE&mdash;

HONSTLAR: Hey! Check out this funny thing I made for those of you who know nothing about the tradenomincs vidya!

''{He holds up his Pom Pilot, showing an image macro with a screenshot of Greg with a suit and cigar. The text reads "This image is funny because somehow despite it being the title I never say the words TREDONIMICS AND YOUR PLEASANT SELF in the film."}''

EDITED VIDEO GREG: THIS IS ENOUGH! I'm sick of you all passing this crap off as the hot new Internet joke. Come up with something better to lighten up the workplace or I will tell everyone we still haven't paid the rent!

SRMX12: I thought it was our taxes.

EDITED VIDEO GREG: This is a house, remember?

HONSTLAR: Wait, do we have a roommate time styouashay with Orange Boy? Shouldn't we technically be in college in that case?

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {pops into the frame} We're going to college?!

{Honstlar's face slowly turns red, and he starts steaming out of where his ears would be if he had any}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Well, are we?

HONSTLAR: NOT IN THIS SCRIPT!

{Pom Pom bounces in with his lint earmuffs on his "neck"}

POM POM: {bubbles}

{The screen dims}

NARRATOR: For the rest of this scene, Pom Pom's dialogue will be translated.

{The screen undims}

POM POM: What are you doing in my basement?!

HONSTLAR: Um, eh, this isn't what you think!

POM POM: Get outta here, you guys. Or I'll call the police fireman.

That's, like, hardly ever! And I don't even that much often all the time steal the food from your fridge!

SRMX12: You can't throw us out of our club meeting room! Isn't that not the right thing to do?

Doesn't it say in the law or something that if someone breaks into your basement every week, you should allow them to form a different-helmet-wearing broternal order and, on some occasions, rent out the under-the-desk area to people who are willing to pay ninety-and-a-half cents a month for it?

''{Cut to the Goblin under the table with a sleeping bag and a few peanuts. He does the slightest jig.}''

HONSTLAR: Yeah, what they said! We demand our freedom! Freedom to choose where we hold our semi-weekdaily meetings, even if it's inside your basement! You can't take our most important place from us!

{Cut to the BODH out on the street with a "splat" sound}

EDITED VIDEO GREG: I choose to look on the bright side of our situation. Now we have plenty of time to think of a maymay better than that one about the Christmas toy. Any thoughts?

HONSTLAR: I think we should try and find a new HQ, but for now... {pulls a cardboard box labeled "BODH" out of hammerspace} Get in.

{Cut to inside the box, looking similar to the S.S. Imagination from SpongeBob.}

HONSTLAR: If we want to make a good meme, we gotta start thinking of stuff the net likes to see.



HONSTLAR: They used to for some reason.



HONSTLAR: GROSS!



''{Cut to Gfd's search history, which is all cheese-related. Cut back to the BODH.}''

EDITED VIDEO GREG: Have you always been this weird?



HONSTLAR: Okay, let's get back on track.

SRMX12: So, adding up the data, here's our dank meme! ''{shows a picture of a cheese cat that's dripping with pudding and drinking green sauce with the words "LAUGH!!!" written on it.}''

HONSTLAR: I CAN'T TAKE THIS ANYMORE!! We cannot work under these conditions! We need to show that oversized latex bubble that nobody craps with the Broternal Order of Different Helmets! We are going to take back what is rightfully ours!

EDITED VIDEO GREG: It's not our house.

HONSTLAR: Exactly! That's why we are going to layeth a smackdown so hard on Pom Doge, that he will have no choice but to give us full control of that highly modified transforming, time traveling, helmet having, big ol' headache medicine! Are you with me?

ALL: Yeah!

HONSTLAR: THEN LET'S GO IN THERE AND SHOW THAT BLOB WHO'S BOSS!

''{Cut to the interior of Pom Pom's basement. Coach Z is wearing a gladiator's barbute, and Strong Sad is wearing his astronaut helmet.}''

COACH Z: Well, it's like a tricycle, but with nineteen wheels instead of three! {pronounced "tree"}

STRONG SAD: Coach Z, that's a horrible recipe!

COACH Z: Lemme run this one by ya. We start with a pound of rubber cement...

''{Cut to another view of the table, with Strong Mad, Bubs and The Poopsmith. Strong Mad is wearing a Nacho football helmet on top of his head, Bubs is wearing a fire helmet, and The Poopsmith is wearing a Judge Dredd helmet.}''

BUBS: I haven't been able to fit into my lucky pants for almost ten years! That's why come I'm in such a bad mood all the time!

STRONG MAD: I CAN LET OUT THE WAIST {Holds up needle and an extremely short length of thread} A LITTLE BIT FOR YOU!

BUBS: Hey, that'd be a sweet deal I couldn't refuse!

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {offscreen} Order!

''{Strong Mad, Bubs and The Poopsmith pay attention. Cut to Homestar, who's wearing his horned Viking helmet and banging a turkey drumstick on the table.}''

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Order! I hereby call this meeting of the Broternal Order of Different Helmets to order! Now let us begin with a rousing rendition of our frothy, shanty chant. {waving drumstick like a conductor's baton} And one, two, three&mdash;

{Honstlar opens the door, visibly angry}

HONSTLAR: WHAT IN THE NAME OF TROGDOR IS GOING ON?!

POM POM: You broke into my house and turned it into an unholy cross between the TARDIS and The Magic School Bus, so you can't have a club anymore!

HONSTLAR: You're ripping us off! NON-CANON! NON-CANON! SRMX12, give Bubble Boy a speech!

SRMX12: Ahem!

{Dramatic music begins to play}

SRMX12: Pom Pom, I know we've had our differences in the past. Or&mdash; maybe. Probably. But my point is, if a rag-tag group of weirdos and nerds decided to squat in my basement to form an insane club without paying rent, would I let them? Probably not, seeing as I don't even have a house. {music falters, then starts again} But my point is... Pom Pom... that no matter who you are, you have, um... there's, um... {turns to the others} Right, uh... what am I arguing again? {he gets out his laptop and starts typing at it, as a nervous habit}

POM POM: OKAY! {pulls out the deed to the house} I was gonna move to my mansion anyways. You can keep your stupid club! {takes off his helmet and bounces away}

HONSTLAR: It's good to be back! Now to take care of business! {pulls out that gold plot device} I-wish-we-didn't-have-to-pay-the-taxes. {the bills disappear} Good! Now, Greg, take care of the members. I have something to do...

{Cut to Homestar being kicked out of the Pillquarters, helmetless, as it turns into a Transformers-esque robot that starts punching Homestar}

HONSTLAR: NEVER! PRETEND! TO BE! THE SUPREME! OVERLORD! EVER! AGAIN! SORRY! HOMESTAR! I WILL MAKE IT UP TO YOU! NEXT SCRIPT WE GO TO COLLEGE! PARSLEY! SAGE! RoseMARY! And THYME!

{Cut to a screen reading "THE END."}

Easter Eggs

 * Click on the "T" to see what happened to the Goblin.
 * : But hey wait, what happened to the Goblin? Does he still live here?
 * {Cut to the Goblin walking through the Field, carrying one of those bags tied to a stick. You know. He stops at the weird shrub, which has a sandwich board reading "Very Great Motel" next to it.}
 * SENOR CARDGAGE: {rises out of the bush alongside traffic sounds} Fraudulence, Belizabeth. Would you paste to stamp your graditudes?
 * {The Goblin does his signature dance}
 * SENOR CARDGAGE: Hulk on a saggin', Elizabarren. We's slipped sam vegetables and minerals...


 * Click on the period at the end of "END." to see what happened to Pom Pom.
 * {Cut to Pom Pom inside the mansion, which to his horror is filled with thousands of Elves on the Shelves, as well as pickles and a book labelled "TOTALLY LEGIT TIMES MOVIES SAID THE NAMES THE NAMES OF MOVIES IN THE MOVIES"}
 * POM POM: Man, if only somebody had made a wiggity-phat meme to replace these crappy ones...
 * {Homestar slowly moves closer to Pom Pom while holding a picture of the cat meme the BODH made}
 * HOMESTAR RUNNER: Cheese Caaat?
 * POM POM: NO! {bounce-runs offscreen and crashes into the fridge, and bottle of Smarty Juice falls on him, turning him into Character 9} Bubbledebubblebubblebubblebubble. {faints}
 * HOMESTAR RUNNER: OOH! SLEEPOVER AT DOGE DOGE'S NEW HOUSE! {pops into his jammies and a sleeping bag appears on the floor which he slides into} Pom Pom, your my biggest deputy!
 * STRONG BAD: {from afar} WRONG SPELLING!
 * HOMESTAR RUNNER: There are different spellings?!