hpe/19

Hpemail #19

Thems guys watch Later That Night....

Page Title: The Sandy 0.4

Running Time: 2:34

Date: January 3, 2017

Script
HP: Woah. {coughs twice} It's been a while now, hasn't it? Well, time to check the mail.

''{Horrible Painting presses a button on his computer and the Sandy 0.4 logo appears with startup noises. The screen goes blank.}''

HP: All right... how do I do this again?

GOBLIN: If I recall correctly... you might need to "type" something. Whatever that means.

HP: Uh... {presses a button on his keyboard and the letter "g" appears.} Woah. This machine makes letters. I think I can do this.

''{He types "gfdgtyqwhqmlgawfhqwhgadsfohdgkgz" and presses Enter. The computer responds with "Bad command or filename. Please try again.}''

HP: Oh, oh, oooohhhh. I remember now. {types "horrible_email.exe", singing to the tune of "Dooblie Doo"} Email, and email, and email me nice! Email, and email, and email me twice!

HP: {reads the email slowly and pronounces everything as spelled} Uh... what in what? Are you implying that me and The Goblin are married? Also, what do you mean, "the new hween toon"?

GOBLIN: I'm pretty sure he means the Halloween toon on homestarrunner.com. I haven't seen it yet. I hear it's pretty good though.

HP: {not typing} All right then. Let's watch. ''{types "homestarrunner.com", clicks "come on in", and clicks "halloween toon!" on the What's New? button}'' It's loading.

GOBLIN: It's loading.

HP: It's still loading.

TEXT: 43 minutes and 6 seconds later...

{The toon is shown on the screen}

MARSHIE: {in the toon} &mdash;Flavored-Banana-Bread Malloweens!

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {in the toon} And who can forget the delightful wedding of The Goblin and the Jibblies Painting?

HP: What the&mdash;?!

GOBLIN: Th&mdash; That's... us!

HORRIBLE PAINTING: {in the toon} He accepts me for who I am.

{HP closes the window and returns to the email}

HP: Wha&mdash;cgj&mdash; habbkjh&mdash; hbllykj&mdash; wha-wha-whaaat was that?!

GOBLIN: How come The Brothers Chaps didn't tell us about this?

HP: Oh man... I think I know what to do. {gets a big '80s-looking cell phone} I got this "cellular telephone" recently. It's the newest technology.

GOBLIN: Woah! It doesn't even have a cord!

HP: I know! Isn't science something? {dials some numbers}

MATT CHAPMAN: Uh, hi, this is Matt.

HP: Horrorguy here.

MATT CHAPMAN: Horrorg&mdash;? Come on, Jibblies Painting, you know nobody calls you that.

HP: Well, I'd really appreciate it if you'd start calling me that. Understood?

MATT CHAPMAN: Yeah, yeah, fine. What is it?

HP: Me and Gobbles here&mdash;

GOBLIN: {quickly, quietly} Don't call me that.

HP: &mdash; have a concern about the new Halloween cartoon.

MATT CHAPMAN: Uh, yeah, all right. You mean the wedding thing?

HP: Yes, right. That scene is totally not real.

MATT: Sorry, but I can't remove the scene. I don't like to change the cartoon too much after it's released.

HP: Well, maybe we'll make a cartoon about you then!

GOBLIN: I know how to use Flash...

MATT: Yeah, sure. I'm kinda busy right now, so bye. {hangs up}

{Cut to the Sandy 0.4}

HP: {typing} So there you have it, uncool-man deuce. {mumbling} What kinda name is that? {normal voice} That scene from the "new hween toon" didn't happen. Mike or Matt made that scene without us knowing about it. {stops typing} Come on, The Goblin, let's start animating. {Horrible Painting and The Goblin walk to the right}

GOBLIN: {quietly from far away} I think this was one of the worst emails ever.

HP: {quietly from far away} At least it wasn't as bad as "Why".

{The Napkin comes down}

Easter Eggs

 * If you wait 5 seconds, The Goblin will say quietly from offscreen "Yeah, but Army was pretty bad too."
 * Click on the Sandy 0.4 at the end to see an extended version of HP's intro song.
 * HP: {singing to the tune of "Dooblie Doo", at his computer} Email, and email, and email me nice! {music starts playing} Email, and email, and email me twice!
 * {Cut to HP with The Liekand as a fat mouse}
 * HP: Email, and email, and email me mice!
 * {Cut to HP eating a bowl of rice}
 * HP: Email, and email, and email me rice!
 * {Cut to HP with containers labelled "PARSLEY!", "SAGE!", "RoseMARY!", and "And THYME!"}
 * HP: Email, and email, and email me spice!
 * {Cut to HP playing a board game with Cus and rolling the dice}
 * HP: Email, and email, and email me dice!
 * {Cut to HP holding a box with a price tag that says "$11.01"}
 * HP: Email, and email, and email me price!
 * {Cut to HP holding out a slice of orange}
 * HP: Email, and email, and email me slice!
 * {Cut to HP with dots in his hair}
 * HP: Email, and email, and email me lice! {A caption appears below, reading "Or maybe don't", and disappears quickly}
 * {Cut to HP giving The Goblin a large ice cube}
 * HP: Email, and email, and email me frozen water! {The Goblin lowers his eyelids} ...What?


 * Click on the cell phone to see their animation.
 * {A title screen says "pOWEReD by the GOBLiN!"}
 * PBTG MATT: I put the painting and Goblin in cartoon!
 * {The Goblin and HP chase after him and he runs away}
 * PBTG HP: Yay!
 * PBTG GOBLIN: We did it!
 * {The screen changes to "the eNd."}
 * {Cut to the computer room, with the cartoon being shown on The Goblin's computer}
 * HP: {eyes lowered} I thought you said you knew Flash.
 * GOBLIN: Yeah, but I never said I was good at it.

Explanations

 * The Liekand is a boss from Stinkoman 20X6.

Trivia

 * The main page seen on the Sandy 0.4 is Main Page 19.

Inside References

 * HP types the letter G.
 * When HP types a bunch of jumbled letters, "gfdg" and "fhqwhgads" can be seen.
 * "Why" and "Army" are old Hpemails.
 * "PARSLEY! SAGE! RoseMARY! And THYME!" is from do over, and a reference to the song "Scarborough Fair".
 * The price tag is another appearance of $11.01.
 * "pOWEReD by the GOBLiN!" is an appearance of lowercase i's.