Other Chiropractor Email Gent Delabor/the ladies

Summary
Gent's new PRODUKT(tm) allows Shifter to get the attention of the ladytypes.

Cast (in order of appearance): Gent Delabor, Leg Delabor, Marzipan, Rode Delabor, Sted Delabor, Mom Delabor

Places: Gent's Parents' Basement, Gent's Studio, Marzipan's Living Room, Outside Gent's Parents' House

Page Title: ARE YOU A STRIKE OUT?

Release Date: February 7, 2010

Transcript
GENT DELABOR: Hello, wealthy consumer, and welcome to Disc 1 of our THORAX WEDMAIL STARDOM instructional videotapes. Let's start with a mail from this fella.

Hey Gent, I am a real strike out with the ladies. Do you have some crazy product to assist me? I will pay cash or Paypal. Thanks, Shifter

GENT DELABOR: Thank you, Shifter, for your exclamation. We don't has any products for sale at this time; however, we has a new PRODUKT(tm) for sale or rent as of right two (2) seconds ago!

{cut to Gent in his studio}

GENT DELABOR: Introducting, Gent's Guide to ROMANTIC STARDOM. These videos will reveal the latest hints, tips, and playing strategies for today's hottest games. And by games, I mean female persons! Cash is accepted, but being my Pal costs extra.

{fade out/in, Gent's studio, on video tape}

GENT DELABOR: Step 1 of my romantic steps for men is: call a female person on your telegraphone. Stupid? NO PROLEM!! {the words flash on the screen as he says this} Anybody named Michelle, Tiffany, or Leg is probably a girl!

LEG DELABOR: {entering the frame} I resent that remark.

GENT DELABOR: Sorry, but Contract 28, Article IV, Section 8, Chapter 11, Season 6, Episode 16 states that only the acting CEO and Chief Executive Officer of THORAX CORPORATION LLC,,. may resent, resemble, or hate on any remarks made by Gent Delabor Sr., LLC,,.

LEG DELABOR: {quietly} Gotta start stopping signing all those contracts... {leaves}

GENT DELABOR: Okay, so first, you call a lady. Uh, {looks at a phone book} eenie, meenie, meinie, mo... {pointing to Mark Zapann} -town. Motown. {pointing to Marzipan} Strange name; she must be with Motown.

{cut to Marzipan's living room}

MARZIPAN: {to offscreen} That's it, Homestar, from this point on you are banned from my cloning machine!

{phone rings}

MARZIPAN: Wow, usually I'm not home to answer the phone. {picks it up}

GENT DELABOR: Hello, Marzipan {chuckles}. Are you related to Doezipan or Little Lambzy Divey?

MARZIPAN: No, I'm not, and who is this, anyway?

GENT DELABOR: I am CEO of WWW.THORAXCORP.COM, Gent Delabor Sr., calling on behalf of a valued customer calling himself Twister, and we would like to interest you in our new Stardom Solution, ROMANTIC STARDOM INCORPORATED(tm).

MARZIPAN: Twister, huh? I wonder if he knows about the funny kid from the extreme sports cartoon.

GENT DELABOR: {incredulous} Wait, are you telling me that I was wed paged by the Twister of Rocket Power fame?

MARZIPAN: I don't think so, but-

GENT DELABOR: {interrupting} My brother and Executive Manager Rode Delabor loves that show! I think he compacted me to ask if I could give him some hints on attracting female persons.

MARZIPAN: Well, I haven't seen more than a few episodes, but I think I have some solutions for his young heart.

GENT DELABOR: I'd sure like to hear them apples, apple cakes!

MARZIPAN: Well, first, he could grow a few feet, and get his hair fixed up. But not too fancy, or they might get the wrong idea for his personality. Then, he can just give a nice girl his age a nice flower, or a picture he drew himself, or something.

{silence}

GENT DELABOR: So no date then?

MARZIPAN: Sorry, but I'm a bit too old for him. Thanks anyway. {hangs up}

GENT DELABOR: I guess I have to go at this another weigh. Maybe if I pander to his generation...

{fade out/in, Gent's studio, on a different video tape}

GENT DELABOR: Introducing our newest PRODUKT(tm), "Buff" Gent's Second Income X-TREEME! It's just like Second Income Streams(tm), but I pasted on some pictures of Tony Hawk and Bucky Koston from {holds up the magazines} Leg's teen mags! I can just here him now: {imitating Leg} "Oh, J-Lo, my rub for you is second (2nd) only to working for Gent Delabor Sr., CFO Global Stardom Federation!" Check out this X-CLUUUSIVE video of our resident freek (get the hint?) Sted Delabor!

''{A grainy cell-phone quality video. Sted, wearing heavy safety gear, stands motionless on a Razor Scooter. Rode, Leg, and Mom Delabor are watching. Gripping the handle bars tightly, Sted perfoms a small bunny hop.}''

GENT DELABOR: Wasn't that the nasty good fa-rizzle? Order now and you'll recieve 8 HOURS {words flash} of glorious stunts and glutenous hitting Leg in the head with a phone reciever! Now on BASF T-160 - Just Like Mama Used To Record On(c)(qu)! {words flash} (Offer knot valid to persons who squash the heels of their shoes down instead of working them down inside. And as always, NO DELABORS! {flash, flash, flash!})

back to front

Easter Eggs

 * Click on NO DELABORS at the end to see Gent and Rode talking.

GENT DELABOR: Oh yeah...she's with Motown, right? Yeah, I played with her, too, gotta nice voice.

RODE DELABOR: No, no, hold on Gent. She's not with Motown.

GENT DELABOR: Yeah, well, I'm not from here, man. Like, I'm from Mundelow, man. I don't know too many local dudes.