Broternal Order Of Different Helmets/Honest Liar

{Cut to the BODH in the Pillquarters Metallix, all looking depressed.} I can't sing and play the guitar. I can't make an elaborate instrument out of a food pile. I can't play the keyboard. I can't edit music with my computer. I can't draw an electric guitar with my magic sketchbook and use it to play solos. I can't make a drumset out of waffles. RABITE: I can't play the oboe. I can't be a band manager. {pause} ALL: LET'S START A BAND! Okay, mark off "Opposite Hour" from today's To-Do List. Got it! Time to make Honest Liar a reality! Honest Liar? What is this, a Löded Diper bootleg? No. I would have to know what Londie Dipstick sounds like to rip him off. Wait a minute. We don't have a bass player. Don't worry, I got it all covered. (Cut to a shot of Homestar holding a bass guitar) So wait, what are we be's do'sing exactly? The tiny man said something about bland fracas. No, I said band practice. We need to come up with a debut song good enough to at least make it onto the Top 100 list... in Molavia. What should it be about? Oh, how about a 27 part rock ballad about Canadian Bacon? Nah, let's save that for our 8th album. How about a cover of a bunch of ad jingles? That's probably been done before, I want something new! {starts playing his guitar; singing} I can't think of our first song. Something fresh, original, and greaaat. I need something to sing along. Or else we could be too laaaate! (Singing and strumming.) I don't know how to keep this song going good. Now that I've got your attention, I'm gonna do what I should! (Gfd starts playing his instrument... with his head.) {picks up some spaghetti and plays it like a guitar, while shaking a bag of popcorn for percussion} Chorus thyme! This is our first song tonight! I think we'll make it all right! I don't know how to sword-fight! ALL: This is our first song tonight! My instrument I can bite! It's hard to purchase a flight! But airplanes fill me with fright! ALL: This is our first song tonight!! Guitar solo!! {EDITED Video Greg squeedles on a drawing of a guitar} This is our first song tonight! I think we'll make it all right! I don't know how to sword-fight! ALL: This is our first song tonight! My instrument I can bite! My grandpa bought me a Lite-Brite! I'm really scared of heights! ALL: This is our first song tonight!! That's right! {The song ends.} Woo! That was awesome! Was anyone recording that? Oh right. Sorry. Forgot. WHY YOU— {sigh} From the top, everyone. {singing} I can't think of our first song. Something fresh, original, and greaaat— {Cut to the BODH at a record store, where Millionaire Record Man is listening to the song} So what do you think? Millionaire Record Man: It's good. Do we have a deal, Millionaire Record Man? {wink wink} MILLIONAIRE RECORD MAN: Why are you winking? Oh, no reason. {pulls a dollar bill out of his hat and drops it} OOPS, I just dropped $50. (Millionaire Record Man drops a piece of paper) Millionaire Record Man: OOPS, I just dropped a 4-album contract. All right! I mean, uh, oops. {Cut to the Pillquarters} So what should our first album be called? I've got it! Honest Liar! That's just the name of the band. Yeah! A self-titled debut album! Isn't that a bit cliche? Crap! How about Music-Thyme with Those Guys? That sounds like the name of a kids album. And that's exactly why we shouldn't name our album that! How about "Apple"? That's all you could think of, Apple? Let's just take a buncha cool-sounding words and mash 'em together. {gets out a notebook and pen} Thoughts? Uh... vortex? {writes it down} Good, good. Keep 'em coming! wait how about Justified Braticide One more, rule of three, rule of three. Waffle! Got it! (He shows his notepad, which has a poorly drawn image of the band with text saying "Vortex Justified Braticide Waffle") That's not a name, that's a moody teenager's Scrabble hand! How about the Broternal Album of Different Songs? Brother MX, I'm gonna count from 3, and after that, I'll say what I think of it. I'm both worried and excited. 3... (SRMX12 starts typing on his computer, nervously.) 2... Well, it's been nice knowing you. 1... GULP! BRILLIANT!! ALL: Hooray! So what should our second song be? I don't know, there has to be something we can base a song on. Uh, Supreme Overlord... We've been singing songs since day 1. What are you talking abou-OOHH, the chant! That sounds great! The BODH Theme Song, coming right up! We have a theme song? We will as of several seconds into the future! Vivat galea armabuntur. (Music starts playing) All: (Singing) Ever and more, ever and more, ever and more... Singing ever and more, ever and more, ever and more... ALL: Ever and more, ever and more, EVER AND MORE! {singing to the same tune} Broternal friends, having a time, that's what we are! We wear helmets, because it does make us a star! We talk about pants and have PowerPlays. And we sing this shanty chant every single day! All: Ever and more, ever and more, ever and more... Singing ever and more, ever and more, ever and more... Ever and more, ever and more, EVER AND MORE! Honstlar wears a purple shirt, and waddles all the time. Gfd eats everything, including gross old slime. SRMX12 has a feather in his hat. Edited Video Greg knows where it's at. Stom gives waffles most half-hours. Rabite has humanizing powers. We're the Broternal Order, but no, that's not all of us. Say hello to the B-Team before they get thrown off a bus! {speaking} Why would you throw them off a bus? I'm the dean of CGNU. Homestar's a terrific athlete too. Dooble has no one to rhyme with. {crickets} Of course, maybe that's a myth. And we have an ally, of course I don't mean to brag. But say hello to my father, Arsene Video Greg! That last rhyme was kind of a stretch, Pat Sajak makes me wanna wretch! All: Ever and more, ever and more, ever and more... Singing ever and more, ever and more, ever and more... Ever and more, ever and more, ever and MORE! We also have a nemesis, Get ready for a lyric you shouldn't miss! (Speaking) Come on Grinny, take it to the fridge! (Rapping) My name is Grindolo and I'm here to say, I'm gonna kill the BODH someday! I've got a cool blue robe and glowy eyes, and a real knack for stealing stuff and telling lies! Now I'd like to introduce you to my second-in-command, his name is The Pretender and he's got a robot hand! How I like to spend my time when I'm not doing evil deeds, is writing delusional YouTube comments no one will believe! I like to pretend that I created Free Country, USA— But really he's just crazy. Don't listen to what he's gonna say! Hey!! I'm Daleford Dando, fresh from the skids, and I'M GONNA GET YOU CRAZY KIDS!!! I'm the Cleansing Geek and I'll never be moved. THIS ENTIRE ALBUM IS NOT APPROVED! Let's not forget my minions, the Ungraits. Their glowy eyes are made of hate! ALL: Ever and more, ever and more, ever and more... That's right! ALL: Singing ever and more, ever and more, ever and more... One more time!! ALL: Ever and more, ever and more, EVER AND MORE!! (Speaking) And then some! Spectacular! What should we make into a number 1 jam next? {pulls a cell phone out of his hat} I'm sure there are tons of musicians who are willing to collaborate with us. Let's call up Limozeen! Since when have you had Limozeen's phone number? Since 5 seconds ago. Well, what are you waiting for, man? Call 'em up! {dials a number} {Cut to the Space Machine interior. Limozeen is watching TV.} Mary: I love these alien cooking shows! Gary: You're only saying that because you like Fossilized Flungolium. Teeg Dougland: I'm afraid I've got some bad news, boys, you're getting a call from that blue guy again. Larry: Again?! But he called us L-l-l-l-last week! GARY PALARONCINI: Put it up on screen. {Gfd's face appears on the window} Hey, rockm'ns! I got another question for you. PERRY PALARONCINI: Not again. So, my friends and I have started a band in the Earthula-1 system... would you like to come by and maybe collaborate? Larry: (Nervously) Uh, sorry, we're too busy, uh... we're too busy we have a gig on-um... Skaro! Teeg: I'm afraid I have some bad news, boys, we don't. Larry: Fine, we'll do it. {Cut to the Pillquarters Metallix. The Space Machine descends onto the floor and the door opens. Limozeen walk out.} LIMOZEEN!! I'm your biggest fan! I've always wanted to meet you! Will you sign my arm? Can I have a million autographs? LARRY PALARONCINI: Get outta here, purple-face! We're supposed to be collaborating with some cool metal band! Yeah, that's us. GARY PALARONCINI: Aw man. We thought you were some cool guys with leather jackets, blond hair, electric guitars, and pyrotechnics. We can do that. Hey Stom, got any pyrotechnics? Will exploding waffles work? {throws a waffle that explodes in midair} That'll work. Man, this is so great to finally meet you guys. You guys are so great, I'm almost even considering not making you pay for the hole in our ceiling. MARY PALARONCINI: Hey, we had to get our floaty van into this pill somehow! Larry: So, what kinda rockin' type song will we be singin' for this collab? Only the best song idea you've ever heard come out of an armless guy. Grab your badges and bring plenty of jackets, we're on Party Patrol! LARRY PALARONCINI: Now that's an idea I can get behind! We'll give this thing the most metallic lyrics we've ever sung! {They start playing their instruments} LARRY PALARONCINI:{singing} Broken glass, leather high-heels, walkin' on the concrete with my guitar squeals, The rock of a mountain, the mind of a troll, You better watch out, 'cause we're the... All: PARTY PATROL! Larry: (Speaking) That's right. All: PARTY PATROL! Larry: You better get ready. All: PARTY PATROL! Larry: One more time! All: PARTY PATROL! Larry: Ya dang straight. GARY PALARONCINI: Solo time! {squeedles an impossible guitar solo; sparks fly out of his guitar} {whispering aside to Honstlar} Is that a combination of a diminished-demonished-six-thousand-and-fourty-ninth and an arpeggiated seventh? {whispering aside to Gfd} They banned that chord in Prance because peoples' fingers kept falling off!! {whispering to both} They say it requires twenty seven fingers, your left foot, three elbows, superhuman reflexes, and greasy blond hair! {whispering to the wall} That man is all heart. LARRY PALARONCINI:{singing} An eagle soars above the magma, Pierced with a dagger by a goblin bandana, A shoestring's face, electric roll, Get out of the place, 'cause we're the... All: PARTY PATROL! Larry: You got it! All: PARTY PATROL! Larry: Prepare your sodas! All: PARTY PATROL! Larry: What are we called again? All: PARTY PATROL! Larry: We got it goin' on! {Gary starts playing another solo} LARRY PALARONCINI: Yeah, now you guys do the next verse! It's your collaboration, after all! (Singing) Red Solo cups are all that I see, The redneck next to me says they're the bee's knees. This boring drinkware drives me out of control, For the sake of this get-together, I'm calling the... All: PARTY PATROL!! {singing} Nobody's dancing to the song, to be perfectly honest, it's kinda wrong. Everyone's sitting around and eating the bowl. To get this party started, let's get the... ALL: PARTY PATROL!! Everyone's watching a hockey game, No offense to the North, but it's kinda lame. As soon as that toothless guy scores that goal, I'm gonna grab the phone and call the... All: PARTY PATROL!! We're running out of chips and cake. Now this party seems like such a big mistake. Who can save us all? Who can pay the toll? You don't need to fear, we'll get the... ALL: PARTY PATROL!! When I throw a party, I do it right, This one I'm at is terrible and fills me with fright. This stink of rotten fish really hurts my soul, First I'll get a clothespin, then I'll find the... All: PARTY PATROL!! There's no good times around for miles. This party's losing all of its cool cool styles. We need someone to get us out of this hole. Who can do that? Of course, the... ALL: PARTY PATROL!! My party plan refuses to work, The host is acting like a giant jerk. Santam'n's probably gonna give him coal, Instead of killing him, I'll just send him to the... All: PARTY PATROL!! The food is burnt, the crowd is mild. Unfortunate because a party should be wild. There's a severe lack of rock-and-roll. I'll get some assistance from the... ALL: PARTY PATROL!! I was promised chocolate fondue, Instead, all I got was jack-diddly stew. Delicious fudge is my one and only goal, And to feed my desires, I'll need to get the... All: PARTY PATROL!! My shoe is full of tampered cream, I don't know how a cavity would seem. A crate of pudding in the laundry mole, Pie is very great, just like the... ALL: PARTY PATROL!! Larry: You got it! All: PARTY PATROL!! Larry: We're gonna rock the roof off! All: PARTY PATROL!! Larry: We're almost done here. All: PARTY PATROL!! Larry: Open 24/7. All: PARTY PATROL!! (Music ends.) LARRY PALARONCINI: You're pretty groovy dudes. That wasn't half bad! Only, like, a quarter bad! Which isn't half bad! Thanks, Larry! Think you could fix that hole in the ceiling though? LARRY PALARONCINI: No prob, man! {uses a space laser to repair the ceiling} Ooh. Fancy 'lectronics. {Limozeen gets into the Space Machine} LARRY PALARONCINI: Keep on zeenin'! {The Space Machine flies up, making a hole in the ceiling} We will, Larry, we will. Now what? Can I do a song? Sure- (Honstlar is dragged away by Greg and SRMX12.) What are you thinking?! You know for a fact that he can't sing. But he sang during that last number, and he did it pretty well. Eh... we can try it. Just this once. All right, Garbledina, it's all yours! {A spotlight shines down on Gfd} {singing} GFD'S IMPROVISATIONAL MUSICAL MASTERPIECE SONG!! WHY WON'T YOU ALL THE TIME PEOPLES ALWAYS SING ALONG?! WE'RE DOING A THING! WE'RE HAVING A TIME! WE'RE I DON'T KNOW A SOMETHING ABOUT A THING HOW TO RHYME!! {closing his eyes} End it now. I don't deserve this. ON NOVEMBER 27 I FARTED A LIME!! THEN I HAD SOME SHORT SHORTS SEASONED WITH THYME!! PIZZA'S MY FAVORITE UNITED STATE!! MY AMAZON ORDERS ALWAYS ARRIVE LATE!! It's like paper nails on a chalkboard. This is the best film noir rom-com I've ever smelled! MY NAME IS UNPRONOUNCABLE!! I DON'T HAVE TWO TIMES OF PRONOUNCABLE!! UM, RHYME RHYME RHYME RHYME RHYME! THYME THYME THYME THYME THYME! EVERYONE LOVES THE GFD! I AM ME, AS YOU CAN SEEE!! EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!

{punches himself in the face repeatedly} When will the universe end? I'M GLAD I DON'T HAVE A NOSE!! CAUSE IF I DID I WOULD WANT TO EAT MY TOES!! MY HAT IS PURPLE AND THE BLUE PART GIVES NURPLES! MY POOPAH'S MIDDLE NAME IS DURPLE FLURPLE!!! I demand that someone kill me with a forklift! I'd rather stare into the Ark of the Covenant!! DEE DEE DEE DOH DEE DOH DEE DOH BLEE BLAH BLAH BLEE BLAH BLAH DOOOO!! HEE BAH BLARGLE GARBLES GARBLES IS MY NAME, NO WAIT GARBLES IS ACTUALLY MY LAAaAAaAaaaST NAME! RIGHT?!!

{turning green and rocking back and forth} Uggh... I... I need to leave for a second. I feel nauseous. {leaves} (A burp is heard.) DON'T FORGET THE JUMPERS!!!!! (The nightmare finally ends.) Encore, enco- (Greg, Stom, Dean, and Erin beat the crap out of Homestar.) O-kaaay... let's pretend that didn't happen and move on to the next song. Who's up for another collaborasche? I got sloshy's phone number just now! Like right just now! {walking back in} Wait, who? (Strong Sad walks in) SS undefined Allow me to elucidate! Ugh, here we go... SS undefined One soggy evening in 2002, some high school friends named Mitch Douglas, Clark Brianface, and Dan Dansworth tried out some instruments. They started a band in their garage, with Mitch singing and playing lead guitar, Clark speaking backup vocals and playing bass guitar, and Dan playing drums and dealing with finances. They called themselves "rectangle blue". Then they changed their name to "concrete". Then "fontmaster", "computer sciences 101", "postbox", "mild mold", "eagle beagle", "solstice", "marmalade jams", and finally settling on "sloshy". They released their first single, We Don't Really Even Care, in 2003, and then... Okay, that's enough of that. Mitch: (From the phone) Yeah, who is it? CLARK: And how did you find our personal cell phone number? We were wondering if we could collaborate on a song with you folks. We're a rock-and-roll ba— sorry, a lo-fi obscure indie alternative rock album. Dan: So you're like, a sentient album? That's pretty rad. No, What I meant to say was that we're a mixed genre band. Mitch: Good enough. CLARK: All right, we'll be there in a time. {Cut to a black screen reading "ONE TIME LATER..."} {sloshy's van arrives inside the Pillquarters. The members step out.} MITCH: So, what are we here for again? A collaborasche! We're the band Honest Liar. You may have heard of us. CLARK: I've never heard of— We're going to do your song "Art Troll"! An all-time classic. MITCH: All right. 2, 3, 4... {They start playing their instruments} Mitch: (Singing) Yeah. Clarke: He said yeah. MITCH: Yeah. CLARK: (He said yeah again.) MITCH: Yeah. CLARK: (He's still repeating yeah.) MITCH: Yeah-ah-ah! CLARK: (That was an extra long yeah.) Mitch: Art troll, art troll, trollin' around. (Singing) Art troll, art troll, looks like a clown. MITCH: Art troll, art troll, what do they do? Art troll, art troll, me and you! DAN: Vocal solo! MITCH: Doot doo doo doot DOOT doo, doot DOO doo DOOT doo... doot doo doo doot DOOT doo, doot DOOT DOOT DOOT doo... Once I met an art troll on the run. He stole the art on my computer with a gun!

MITCH: Art troll, art troll, trollin' around. Art troll, art troll, looks like a clown. MITCH: Art troll, art troll, they're bad at their job. Art troll, art troll, they're prolly part of a mob! Art troll, art troll, they smell of cheese. Art troll, art troll, SHUT UP, PLEASE!! Art troll, art troll, they are the worst. Art troll, art troll, I wish they would burst! MITCH: Backing vocals solo! CLARK: (Art troll. That's right. Art troll.) CLARK: (Art trolls are the worst. Uh. Um. Yeah. Art troll. That's it.) {The song ends} Woo! That was great! Nice job, guys! I can't wait to put this onto a record and distribute it to the entire world! MITCH: Oh, uh, yeah, you kinda can't do that. CLARK: We're too obscure. We don't want to sell out or anything. Well, that's inconvenient. What format should we sell it in, then? (Honstlar is visibly furious. But you wouldn't know that because this is for an audio-only episode.  ) I have an idea - lets make it an MC Bushpig triple collab. No one will ever hear us over the realistic tortured screaming. Can't get more obscure than that. No. How about a VideoNow exclusive? MITCH: Guys! Guys! All right. Hear me out. We'll put one copy of the song on our dad's computer. It'll be an illegal low-quality bootleg. We encode our song file with viruses, so you have to hack the computer to listen to it. Then we put it on a singular USB drive. We bury that USB in the core of the Earth, along with a thousand decoys. All of them are encased in concrete bricks. Also, the USB will self-destruct 5 minutes after anyone finds it, so you have to be as quick as possible. Oh, and the backup vocals won't be on the USB. They'll be at the bottom of the Mariana Trench on an old record player. To sync it with the rest of the song, you need to start playing it 7 minutes and 41 seconds earlier. How's that? CLARK: Pretty obscure, Mitch. I like it! (Very loudly) WILL YOU GUYS GET OUTTA HERE AND LET US RELEASE THIS ALBUM ON FORMATS OTHER THAN WAX CYLINDER!?!?! Mitch: Ooh, wax cylinder. Clarke: That's so Edison. OUT! (Sloshy speeds off.) Okay, next song. What song should we do next...? Do you know those musical numbers in movies? The kind where they sing about pie and anchovies? No, the kind where one spontaneously breaks into song... ...And everyone nearby just happens to sing along? They don't know the lyrics, the rhythm, the tune... ...And yet they can sing by the light of the moon! I hate those films! They're so coincidental. The mere thought of watching is enough to drive me mental! It makes me grind my teeth, and I'll have to fix my dental. It makes me want to go back home and smash video rentals! Precisely! Everyone somehow happens to rhyme... ...Without fail or hesitation, I tell you, every time! It's unrealistic! That can't happen in real life. No one can continue a song without a bit of strife! If I had to finish a song, I would pause... The only person capable is maybe Santa Claus! It's impossible to rhyme a sentence without stopping to think. If this occured in real life, the song prolly would stink. Hey, I just realized we're doing this precisely now! Oh, really? I didn't know! Oh, I really wonder how. This doesn't seem quite possible! We can't rhyme impromptu. Except we can. We're doing so. All of us, me and you! How's this happening? How can you guys rhyme so precise? A rhyme pops into my mind, and I say it oh-so-nice! In real life, these songs would be a real hit-or-miss. In fact, I think it would go something like... this! {Pause} {whispering} Hey SRMX12, you— you go next. Oh! Uh, well. Everything is like... uh, sometimes and bliss! Wait no, I think you're supposed to make a new rhyme. Oh. What should I say? Like, uh, "If this happened in real life, I couldn't think of anything to say." That sounds like too many syllables. But okay. "If this happened in real life, I couldn't think of anything to say." So, does the next person rhyme with that? Yep. Because if— {simultaneously} The thing is— {Pause} Wait, who should go first? I don't care, you go. N— no, it's fine, whatever. Okay... wait, what do I have to rhyme with again? "Say". I think. A'ight. "This song... um, I think... is going not okay." {Pause} {whispering} Uh... tha— that's the next line. Oh. {Long pause} Who wants to, uh, sing the next line? This song is going terribly. Is that, like, a line of the song? No, I'm just saying it. Oh. {pause} Let's just stop. Okay. Hey, Gfd, you know any other musicians? Sure! I could call up Taranchula... Peacey P... whaddayoothink? Let's go with Phencyclidine. Got it! (Cut to Peacy P on his boat.) {The phone rings} PEACEY P:{picks it up} Y'all, who dis is? {A squiggly line goes down the center of the screen, showing Peacey P on the left side and Gfd on the right} Hey there, P comma Peacey! It's your old pal Garbles J. Garbles! PEACEY P: I neva heard o' you in my life. By "old pal", I mean I listened to one of your songs once. PEACEY P: How'd ya get my phone num'er? Internet stalking. PEACEY P: Wha— ANYWAYS! Would you like to rap a collaborasche with our band, Honest Liar? PEACEY P: Nah, foo'. I got my own songs to make. {takes the phone} We'll buy 1000 copies of your latest album! PEACEY P: Sweet deals, y'all biscuitheads. I'll be right over. {hangs up} {The left side of the screen disappears, and the screen shifts back to the Pillquarters} Great! He should be here any minute now. {Peacey P walks up} PEACEY P: So, what kinda song we be doin' here? You know, standard rap song with an obligatory Tenerance Love verse. PEACEY P: Ah, the usual. Well, I's got a idea I've been wanted to do for a while... Biscuithead Blues, y'all! We're recording! {A hip-hop beat starts playing} PEACEY P: Yo, Peacey P once again in the stu-jo, workin' wit' some heads made outta biscuit dough. Some dumb aminal characters wit' bread fer brain, I gots to rap a song fer y'all once again!

My head's not made outta biscuit dough, it's all brains and skulls inside there, yo! I can rap just as well as you, but you wouldn't know that now, would you?

PEACEY P: Y'all rhymed "you" with "you"! Don't do that, man! That's the numba one rule of makin' a good rap song! Sorry about that, CHORUS TIME!!! PEACEY P: I'm-a rappin' up a song wit' dem biscuitheads. That's totally wrong, our heads ain't made of breads! PEACEY P: Y'all's heads' the most biscuity I ever seen. That's entirely false, and also pretty mean! PEACEY P: Y'all biscuitheads. R&B BREAK!! (Cut to Tenerence Love.) Tenerence Love: It's Tenerence Love, here to testify, My love for you and also apple pie. If you're wondering why I'm always with Peacey P, It's because it's in my contract to constantly collaborate, Remainder 3. PEACEY P: I'm-a rappin' up a song wit' dem biscuitheads. That's totally wrong, our heads ain't made of breads! PEACEY P: Y'all's the most biscuitheady in the whole Earth. My face is made of skin, and it has been since birth! PEACEY P: Y'all biscuitheads. PEACEY P: And I'm out! {drops the microphone and walks away} That was nice. What now? I don't know. I have an idea. Well, tell us, man! I can't. Why? I forgot. NOOOOOOOOO!! I guess we'll just have to do a cover. Which song? I have an idea. (Cut to inside of Marzipan's house, where we see Greg wearing a ski mask) Hey Greggins, why are you wearing a ski mask? (Whispering) I'm trying to snatch the notes to that Al Sharpton song my dad sung a while back. Oh, good. Plagiarism is the best. {searching through drawers} It should be in here somewhere... Try comically throwing stuff out of the drawers! It worked for Homestar. {comically throws stuff out of the drawers} Well, great. Now we've made a cluttered mess of pages on Marzipan's floor. That didn't work at all. Yeah, now Marzipan will think we broke into her house. We did break into her house. {Pause} AAHHH! {dials 911} I'm turning myself in! I'm getting out of here!! I found it! Oh! Great. Thanks. Hello, 911? Nevermind, we found it. {hangs up} Now let's get out of here. {They walk out with the music page} {...Just as Marzipan walks in.} Ugh. The Cheat!! Did you drink too much soda and spaz out all over the living room again?! (Cut to the HQ) {They start playing} {singing} When I'm walking down the street, seeing people blink. I imagine some really pointy things, what a weird thing to think!

Knives are sharp, Spikes are sharp! Everything is sharp! Blades are sharp, Claws are sharp! Everything is sharp! When I step on a nail, I almost always shout. And when I touch a needle, red plasma comes out.

Knives are sharp! Spikes are sharp! Everything is sharp! Quills are sharp! Arrows are sharp! Everything is sharp! {electric guitar solo} AL SHARPTON!! That's right! AL SHARPTON!! Every night! AL SHARPTON!! Outta sight! AL SHARPTON!! Without a fight! EVERYONE: Knives are sharp! Spikes are sharp! Everything is sharp! Points are sharp! Pencils are sharp! Everything is sharp! BLINK SOLO!! {Nothing happens} Uh, Honstlar, aren't you supposed to do the blink solo? I am! I'm blinking as hard as I can. I don't hear anything. I don't blame you. No one can blink as well as my dad. No one... Except you. Okay, I'll try... (Intense blink solo) {The BODH's heads explode} Whoa. This is the coolest thing I've ever heard. I'm not even mad my head is gone. This is just amazing! My brain simply can't comprehend any of this percussion masterpiece. It's too much! {walks in; gives a thumbs-up} Oh man, I could only hope to be half as good a blinker as you! {leaves} All: AL SHARPTON!!! {The song ends. The BODH's heads grow back.} Woo! We did it! We did the song! Nice blinks, Greg! I didn't even know I could do that. I guess blinking skills are hereditary. Yeah, it runs in the fambly. "Blinking Joe" Video Greg, they called my grandpa. Legend has it he could play an entire concert with the wink of an eye. So... is that all the songs we're doing? Or are we doing some more? Honstlar? What do you say? Cheese pizza. (Everyone laughs then, for some reason, the BHTGK intro begins.) SINGERS: In the not too different present, 2018. There was a guy named Honstlar, Slightly odder than you or me. He ruled the Broternal Order, Just another face with a horned bowler. They were bored while surfing the channels one day, When they decided to rip-off Mystery Science Theater 3K. We'll watch some cheesy movies, And whatever else we find. (La, la, la.) We're gonna sit and watch them all, As we slowly lose our minds. (La, la, la.) Now keep in mind, he doesn't know how the movies will start or end. (La, la, la.) He'll try to keep his sanity with the help of his hat-wearing friends. BRO-SIS ROLL CALL! SINGERS: New Dean! I record. SINGERS: Coach E! Somehow here! SINGERS: EVG! Built like a funnel. SINGERS: STOOOOM {cutting off before he can say anything} and these guys too! The originals! SINGERS: If you're wondering what he eats or drinks, and other science crap, (La, la, la.) Then repeat to yourself "It's just a script, I should really just relax!" For Broternal Helmet Theater G000! {twang} (END.)

(Cut to Homestar playing the piano.) (Singing) Secret song, I can't believe it's you I never knew it was true Oh Se-cuh-ret Soooong (Piano solo) Secret So- Sooooooooooooong You're the secretest song on the album Secret Song...

Songs are made of Easter eggs... and this is hidden in one, secret song... {speaking} Secret song? I found you. In my browser. I don't want to see it end... this Easter egg... is all that mends. W— wait, does that make sense? No, it doesn't. But it rhymes, so whatever. (END.)