Strong Bad's Disk 4 of 12/Match Em' Up! ft. Homestar

{A live-action case filled with 5 inch floppies sits on a desk next to an old computer. The disk in the front has a handwritten label reading "Disk 4 of 12". Strong Bad's gloves reach into the shot, open the case and begin rifling through the contents.}

STRONG BAD: {singing} When I check my email,

{Strong Bad holds up a disk labeled "Old Game".}

STRONG BAD: —there are some old games.

{Strong Bad inserts the disk into a disk drive and then types on a keyboard with boxing gloves on.}

STRONG BAD: Now I'm gonna play them for you.

{The monitor comes to life, showing a screen reading "Strong Bad's Disk 4 of 12". A disk reading noise plays.}

{Gameplay footage of various vintage games begin to play. The first shows a man in a giant cotton candy machine. He gets struck by a wooden beam and his head swells and explodes.}

STRONG BAD: {voiceover} Hello there, what's—NO! Wow! That is not what I wanted to happen!

{The game switches to a wrestling game where grayscale sumo wrestlers lie on the floor of the ring sleeping.}

STRONG BAD: {voiceover} Aw, it's baby Strong Sad taking a nap. {imitates snoring sounds}

{Game now switches to a toilet inside a shower. The showerhead is running.}

STRONG BAD: {voiceover} Turn this on. Spaghetti noodles that are uncooked shootin' out of there.

{Game now switches to a two-color game. A man in a swimsuit is standing at the top of a purple cliff and dives off.}

STRONG BAD: {voiceover, imitating Dangeresque} Looks like I'm gonna have to cliff-dive! Whoooooaaa...

{The game switches back to the first game, where the player confronts a giant bee.}

STRONG BAD: Do you want some cotton candy, bee? {The bee stings the player, causing the player's head to swell and then disappear entirely} Nope, you want to kill me still.

{The game is now a primitive dungeon crawler where the player is holding a sword. The player leaves a room into a hallway.}

STRONG BAD: {voiceover} This game is about collecting crosses, and turning vermin—

{The scene cuts to another room where the player strikes mice, turning them into white mushrooms.}

STRONG BAD: {voiceover} —into mushrooms.

{The game is now a primitive Battleship game with three levels and a grid made of letters.}

STRONG BAD: {voiceover} Look at that battleship! That thing's amazing!

{The game switches to an athletic obstacle course game. The player is leaping over a row of barrels and takes a dive, causing one of the barrels to fly out from the row and break.}

STRONG BAD: {voiceover, singing} Full-body hoodie... whoa-ho-ho! Those are some accurate physics!

{The game is now a black screen reading "What Is Your First Name Captain? (Enter Your Name And Then Strike The Enter Key)".

STRONG BAD: {voiceover} Enter your name and then STRIKE the enter key! Strike it down with extreme prejudice!

{The game now shows a screen where the player is looking into a series of bright lights as the silhouettes of doctors look down. A heart rate line blips.}

STRONG BAD: {voiceover, laughing} What? That is an orange slice that's shooting out some... oil... slicks.

{The screen now does a checkerboard wipe. The game now shows a face on a monitor reading "Mayor Vincenzi" and "Hunter, We've had more reports come in of kids dying..."}

STRONG BAD: {voiceover} There's like a real-life old man staring right at me!

{The text momentarily changes to "...all were horribly disfigured like my... (gulp) ...my poor daughter." before the game switches back to the dungeon crawler from before. The player walking into a river and transforms into a yellow skeleton.}

STRONG BAD: {voiceover} Doo doo doo. Augh... wait, what?

{The screen goes black, with the text reading "Y u Drowned!"}

STRONG BAD: {voiceover} Why you drowned? I dunno!

{Cut back to the computer monitor, now inactive. The title screen for Strong Bad's Disk 4 of 12 returns with a beep and a disk reading sound.}

{The game's screen reads, "Player #1, Please Enter Your First Name And Then Strike Enter Key".}

STRONG BAD: "Player 1, please enter your first name." {typing} Oldenbut. {hits enter, and a prompt for player 2 appears below}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: "Player 2, please enter your first name." You know I gotta go with my all-time favorite, {typing} Bernau. {hits enter}

''{The screen briefly reads "One Moment While I Generate A Game Board", then a game board consisting of eight rows (numbered 1 to 8) and five columns (lettered A to E) prints. A prompt reads, "BERNAU, What Is Your FIRST Choice?" A message at the bottom of the screen reads "Strike  To Leave This Game".}''

HOMESTAR RUNNER: "Bernau, what is your first choice?" I'm going with D7.

''{Space D7 is revealed to be ROLEX CAMERA, worth $90.00. The prompt now asks for Bernau's second choice.}''

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Ooh, a Rolex camera! I know they're trying to fool me, but I know the match is at D8.

''{D8 is revealed to be 6 PACK/COORS. The message reads, "SORRY BERNAU, But No Match". The board resets and Oldenbut is prompted for his first choice.}''

STRONG BAD: Did that say a "Six-pack of coors?" "Oldenbut, what is your first choice?" Let's go over here to B6.

{B6 is VOLKSWAGEN, worth $5,500.00.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {The Show announcing voice} A horrible Volkswagen! {singing The Show theme} Doo-doo-doo!

STRONG BAD: Shut up. Uh, this thing's definitely at D4.

{D4 is MOBILE HOME.}

STRONG BAD: Mobile home?!

{The board resets; Bernau is asked for his first choice.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: I'm going with A4.

{A4 is GOLD RING, worth $300.00.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Gold ring! I betcha that increases my defense!

STRONG BAD: It's not that kind of a game, Homestar.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: They always try to fool me&mdash;I'm going with A5.

{A5 is TRIP TO JAPAN.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Trip to Japan!

{The board resets; Oldenbut is asked for his first choice.}

STRONG BAD: Ugh. Are you always just gonna check the one right below the one you just picked?

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Yes ma'am.

STRONG BAD: Ugh. A2. Six-pack of coors! That's right! It's right over there! D8! Nice!

{A2 is 6 PACK/COORS, worth $3.15.}

STRONG BAD: {excited} Six-pack of cold ones! It was over there, at D8!

''{D8 is 6 PACK/COORS. The prompt reads, "ALLRIGHT, A Match !! OLDENBUT, For $3.15 In Prizes, Guess My Secret Number ".}''

STRONG BAD: Nice! "Oldenbut, for {laughing a little} three dollars and fifteen cents in prizes" &mdash; ooh! That's a cheap six-pack! &mdash; "guess my secret number, 10 to 99." You know I gotta go with 54.

{54 is "Sorry, Too High. But Still Your Turn."}

STRONG BAD: Still too high?

''{The board now has spaces A2 and D8 missing. Oldenbut is prompted for his first choice.}''

STRONG BAD: Okay, I get to go again. Uh, B6.

{B6 is VOLKSWAGEN, worth $5,500.00.}

STRONG BAD: That Volkswagen. Did I already do that?

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {singsong} I'm not telling!

STRONG BAD: {pained} What if Homestar's right and it's the one right below it? Aaagh, you got in my head!

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {smoothly} That's what I do, Strong Bad. It's allll mind games.

STRONG BAD: I'm doing it! B7!

{B7 is FRIENDLYWARE.}

STRONG BAD: D'awh! Friendlyware?!

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Haha! My turn! D3. An MX-80 Printer! Preeow.

STRONG BAD: Oh, man! That doesn't take this game at all!

HOMESTAR RUNNER: And let-me-think-about-it, D4.

STRONG BAD: I'm going with C5. Corvette! Yes! Alright! Gonna be an E...7! Friendlyware?!

{The board resets; Bernau is asked for his first choice.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Ooh, now I know what that is. B7...

{B7 is FRIENDLYWARE, worth $49.95.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: And E7.

''{E7 is FRIENDLYWARE. Bernau is asked to guess the computer's secret number for $49.95 in prizes.}''

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Ding ding ding ding ding! Whoa, Friendlyware costs $49.95?!

STRONG BAD: And thems 1983 dollars.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: "Bernau, guess my secret number, 10 to 99!" Uh, 23.

''{A message reads "Congratulations BERNAU You WIN !!!" before every space on the board is revealed and the message changes to "Strike Any Key To See Your Prizes".}''

HOMESTAR RUNNER: "Congratulations Bernau! You win!"

STRONG BAD: What the crap?! You can just guess a stupid number and win the game?! Aw man. I coulda won a Betamax, a brick home, whatever a Tampa nugget is... and a turkey farm!

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Hey, check it out! The MX-80 printer actually followed my double-up style!

STRONG BAD: {emotional} You cheated me out of my turkey farm, Homestar! Least I got my six-pack of cold ones.

{End title card for Strong Bad's Disk 4 of 12.}