Inanimate Objects in Decidedly Non-Inanimate Situations/Everybody Kinda Lost Interestravaganza!

Plot: Celebrating 4 glorious months of no updates!

Transcript
''{The scene is Strong Bad's computer room. The wrestleman takes his seat and opens his browser to Twitter}''

STRONG BAD: {singing} What you gonna do when a hundred 30-something nerds tweet you? You gonna read em, of course...

{He scrolls through the messages}

STRONG BAD: Ooh. Got one from @KevMcDerm! He tweets me this image of an irregular Boston Baked Bean that looks kinda like Homsar's hollerin' head. Gonna have to animate that!

{He scrolls to the next one}

STRONG BAD: @SesqyX3 says, "@StrongBadActual When's the last episode of IODNIS comin out?! The object show community is baiting with waited breath!"

{He clicks reply and types along with his response}

STRONG BAD: Come on, you guys! Everybody know I'm not responsible for that business! You'll have to ask Lappier, or his executive producer Haysi Fantayzee. On second thought, just ask Lappier. Haysi would just answer in... rejected DEVO lyrics.

{He sends his response}

STRONG BAD: Yeah, Lappier, whatever did happen to that show of yours? Did your pay-per-viewverseries get a good buyrate?

{Lappier's pixelated face appears on the screen}

LAPPIER: Yeah, it's kinda semi-hiatus, semi-cancelled now. Everybody kinda lost interest.

STRONG BAD: {smiles} You know what that means?

LAPPIER: No sequel?

STRONG BAD: It's time for the 0th Annual EVERYBODY KINDA LOST INTERESTRAVAGANZA!

''{Curtains are drawn over the scene. The curtains open to reveal a telethon-like stage}''

LAPPIER: {holding a microphone} That's right Bob, the Everybody Kinda Lost Interestravaganza is on the air and our phone lines are open! If you want to make a pledge, cast a vote, or attempt a prank call, dial 1-888-OBJ-ECTS. Our operators are ready.

STRONG BAD: We have got boatloads of entertainment lined up for you all today. Officer Bennedetto takes us behind the scenes of the Homestarmy. Cardboard Marzipan shows off some arts and crafts magic.

LAPPIER: And coming up next, Humidibot hosts the Fangoriously World-Class and Grand TV Auction!

STRONG BAD: Take it away, Humbidibot!

{The camera pans to Humidibot standing by a big board, with auction items and prices written on the panels}

HUMIDIBOT: Hey thanks, Strong Bad! I sure am Humidibot! Anyway, here are some of the items up for bid!

{The camera focuses on one panel at a time, as Humidibot announces them}

HUMIDIBOT: Our first item is the lovely basketball from Episode 1b - At the Top of the Key. It's a little deflated and has some Humidibot spit on it, but it would make a lovely centerpiece. {change panel} Second, for just 7 dollars, you can have two tickets to Bubs' Ha-Ha-Halloween Comedy Club, where we filmed Episode 5 - This Guy Cracks Me Up! Now let's see the third item. {change panel} Next is eh-- {cuts off}

{The panel reads, in Strong Bad's handwriting, "HUMiDiBOT - 50¢ or any leftover pizza you got"}

HUMIDIBOT: ...That's not funny!

STRONG BAD: {offscreen} BAH HA HA!

HUMIDIBOT: I'm worth at least a whole box of spicy wings plus soda.

STRONG BAD: Just givin' the peoples an unbeatable deal!

HUMIDIBOT: Moving on. {change panel} Last item on the board is the deluxe 3-disc DVD of AWMPSCE April to Dismmbapril. Featuring pre-match interviews, bonus matches, the On Point Objects doing... whatever they do, and some much more!

{The scene returns to Lappier and Strong Bad on the stage}

LAPPIER: Domo arigato, Humidibotto. Now, do we have any calls?

{A phone rings and the caller is put on the air}

CALLER: Hello?

LAPPIER: Hello, you're on the air.

CALLER: Am I the 27th caller?

LAPPIER: {confused} Eh, does that matter?

CALLER: The answer is Dustin Hoffrenchman!

STRONG BAD: Uh, what's goin' on here?

CALLER: Isn't this Numbitty 902 WA3D FM, "The Sturge"?

STRONG BAD: No, you're on this live TV telethon thing I forget the name of.

CALLER: Oh dang it!

{He hangs up}

LAPPIER: Welp.

STRONG BAD: What we got for pledges?

{The pledge board reads $0.00}

STRONG BAD: Wonderful, how generous of you all!

LAPPIER: Now, for more fun, let's catch up with Cardboard Marzipan for her arts and crafts hustle.

{The scene switches to Marzipan's living room, where Homestar has his cardboard cut-out of Marzipan set up at a crafts table}

CARDBOARD MARZIPAN: Thank you, Chauncey. Today, I'll teach you how to hot glue an empty soda bottle to some dry ramen to, uh... clean scratches off your phone, or sneak food into the movies or something.

{She shows off the array of random and baffling supplies on the desk}

CARDBOARD MARZIPAN: First, we're gonna need this.

{She picks up a tube sock and ties it over the top of a small box, then pulls it off again}

CARDBOARD MARZIPAN: Uh uh! A box is too easy! Here, we'll need something that rolls around, like a ball. Like a bowling ball. But a liquid bowling ball.

{She dips the sock into a small dish filled with blue liquid, then pulls the sock out dripping wet, tying a knot at the bottom}

CARDBOARD MARZIPAN: That's kind of... weird. A liquid bowling ball? Where am I gonna find that?

STRONG BAD: {offscreen} Cardzipan, do you have even a molecule of an idea what you're doing?

CARDBOARD MARZIPAN: No sir!

STRONG BAD: That's what I thought.

CARDBOARD MARZIPAN: Well, at least this is a more useful hack than anything you see on internet craft videos.

LAPPIER: {offscreen} Burn!

CARDBOARD MARZIPAN: Back to you, host with the boast.

{Back to the telethon stage}

STRONG BAD: Thank you, thank you. Let's take another call from the audience...

{The phone rings and it is picked up}

STRONG BAD: Hello?

STOP SIGN: Hi, it's me.

STRONG BAD: Ah, how's my favorite sign doing?

STOP SIGN: Most of my bones have knit by now. Anyway, me and the boys were about to come ruin your show, but uh... looks like it's crashing and burning without our help.

STRONG BAD: We're still having fun out here.

STOP SIGN: Well, how about if I swear a cuss on live TV? T--

{Lappier snips the line with a pair of scissors}

LAPPIER: That's enough of that.

STRONG BAD: {disappointed} Aw man! Stoppy swearing a cuss might have actually IMPROVED our ratings.

LAPPIER: Let's just move on. Our pledges are currently...

{The pledge board still reads 0 dollars}

STRONG BAD: Wow, we're almost to our goal! Our goal being, "any money at all".

LAPPIER: Now here's the Homestarmy.

{The scene moves on to the Homestarmy, comprised of Frank Bennedetto, Strong Sad, Homsar, and the Painting of a Guy with a Big Knife}

FRANK BENNEDETTO: The Homestarmy! Elite team of crack commandos, led by our one and only Col-o-nel... where's our colonel?

{beat}

STRONG SAD: Homestar?

{Homestar runs in, very out of breath, mistakenly holding a wire brush instead of his orange spoon}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {panting} Doing two roles... is hard... work.

FRANK BENNEDETTO: {saluting} All present and accounted for!

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {straightening up} Ten-hut! Five-bucks-havers, at attention!

STRONG SAD: Uh... aren't we supposed to be doing a bit for the Lost Interestravaganza?

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Oh yeah. Attention viewers, these are sensitive state secrets, so if you're our enemies, um... go watch Maury or something!

HOMSAR: Dyaah, Ronnie Texaco, you are NOT the farmer!

HOMESTAR RUNNER: This is the secret home base of the Homestarmy, right next to our top secret aircraft carrier and top TOP secret antiques shop!

STRONG SAD: It's the Field.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Speaking out of turn to your Col-o-nel? That's a demandment!

HOMSAR: DAaAaA, we demand registration for all slime hustles!

FRANK BENNEDETTO: ...Maybe explain what we do exactly?

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Oh right! In the Homestarmy, you can wear cool camos, invade Strong Badia, and avenge the tragic death of Third-Style Private Frank Bennedetto!

FRANK BENNEDETTO: I got better.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Well, then we'll avenge the tragic still-alive of Frank Bennedetto!

FRANK BENNEDETTO: That's more like it.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Join today!

{Back to the telethon stage}

LAPPIER: Welcome back!

STRONG BAD: After that car wreck, we must have some new pledges on the board.

{The pledge board reads negative 32.50}

STRONG BAD: I'm willing to call that a success.

LAPPIER: If you fudge the definition of "success".

STRONG BAD: Thank you all for watching the 0th Annual Everybody Kinda Lost Interestravaganza! And be sure to read the previous episodes of IODNIS again, and vote on the latest one if you haven't already!

LAPPIER: And thank you! Good night!