Stinkoman Email/4

Stinkoman Email #4: Beyond

Summary: When asked about the tenth level, Stinkoman starts to act a bit unusual. As if he's trying to access a vague memory, but can't quite fully remember it.

Cast (in order of appearance): Stinkoman, 1-Up, Tampo, Brody, Stlunko, Nebulon, Shadowy Figure, Pan Pan

Places: Stinkoman Headquarters (Interior), The Field, The Kitchen, Stinkoman Headquarters (Exterior), The Moon, Stinkoman's Bedroom

Date: June 15, 2020

Stinkoman Email #4: Beyond
''{Camera pans down to Stinkoman typing on his holographic computer. He activates his email client as he sings a little song.}''

STINKOMAN: Habila-HUP!

''{An emails pops up on the projected holographic screen. Stinkoman reads it.}''

Dear Stink Man (that's your name, right?)

Have you ever beaten level 10? If so, what lies beyond the end of the level? Could there be a level 11?

Your unpronounceable pal,

Miitsumaatsu, Master of the Quintuple Deuce

{He immediately stops reading after "Stink Man".}

STINKOMAN: Stink man? That better of been a typo or else you'll get a face full of my DELETE DEUCE!

1-UP: I don't think it works like that. You can't just put "deuce" at the end of something as if it's a new superpower.

STINKOMAN: Sounds like you're asking for a "kick you out of my house with my foot in your face" ...deuce.

1-UP: I'll be good.

''{Stinkoman finished reading the rest of the email aloud. He stumbles a bit trying to pronounce "Miitsumaatsu" and then jumps back a bit startled when he's fully done reading.}''

STINKOMAN: {typing} The Quintuple Deuce? Surely nothing of the sort has ever been attempted by mortal man! A single deuce was thought to be too much until I attempted the first ever double.

1-UP: Can you teach me the double deuce, Stinkoman?

STINKOMAN: 1-Up. You don't even have any visible arms.

1-UP: Oh, yeah. Right.

STINKOMAN: Actually, about that. I've always wondered... how do you pick things up?

1-UP: Oh-ho-ho-ho, Stinkoman. You silly goose! {Pause.} Actually, to be perfectly honest with you, I don't have any idea. I just kind of tackle things until they start to float in an upward direction.

STINKOMAN: I guess that explains why you keep dropping things.

1-UP: Yeah. It's not really the type of thing that we're supposed to question. Hey, weren't you answering an email!

STINKOMAN: Oh, right. I should get back to that.

{Stinkoman starts typing again.}

STINKOMAN: I assume you're referring to that time in my life where I was all weirdly pixelated and had to rescue 1-Up and Pan Pan after they got kidnapped by a... {echoey voice} ...mysterious shadowy figure.

{Stinkoman clears the screen.}

STINKOMAN: Those were some weird times. My adventure was broken up into various "levels" like some kind of old retro video game. I remember it all pretty clearly.

''{Everything goes all wavey and the screen fades to a new scene. The implication being that this is a flashback. Stinkoman is standing around in the field next to a large robot with a brain visible inside of it.}''

STINKOMAN: During my morning walk, I was approached by a robot who inquired about a challenge... so, I uh... I puncha-puncha-puncha'd!

''{Stinkoman jumps up and punches the robot repeatedly until it is all busted up. Time-skip to when Stinkoman has left and the brain starts float out of the metallic exterior through the cracked glass dome and grow large. A montage occurs of Stinkoman fighting the giant brain, Tampo.}''

TAMPO: This is what you get, Stinkoman!

STINKOMAN: Then after a rematch which I won as well, I went home for a bowl of celebratory chicken soup.

{Cut to Stinkoman and 1-Up eating chicken soup messily with "nom-nom-nom" sounds back in Stinkoman's kitchen.}

1-UP: That makes sense!

STINKOMAN: Then I choked on a chicken bone and immediately came to the conclusion that I must challenge the chicken who dared make me choke on its bone!

1-UP: Phrasing!

STINKOMAN: After I beat that chicken, 1-Up informed me that Pan Pan had been kidnapped!

1-UP: Oh, yeah! I did do that, didn't I?

STINKOMAN: Then, I ran into a wall and naturally concluded the wall was asking me for a challenge!

1-UP: Oh! That makes absolutely no sense whatsoever!

{Sure enough, in the flashback, Stinkoman is repeatedly trying to jump over or is just plain running into a small antennae-like wall from different angles.}

STINKOMAN: So, I powered up! And propelled myself into the sky!

1-UP: This is making less sense by the second!

''{View of Stinkoman falling from the sky. Everything that Stinkoman states falls from the sky to his left and his right as he mentions them.}''

STINKOMAN: There was bread, apples, soap, ears... P's...

1-UP: Oh, crap. I think we broke Stinkoman!

STINKOMAN: Uh, let's skip ahead to the part where 1-Up was on the moon and had to fight a giant space alien with terrible sense of style.

1-UP: How could you possibly remember something you weren't apart of?

{The flashback montage continues with what's being described by Stinkoman happening in quick succession.}

STINKOMAN: Yeah, you're right. There's not much of a coherent thread to any of this. It's almost as if the story was a secondary priority to making an enjoyable gameplay experience.

1-UP: What are you TALKING ABOUT?

{Cut back to the present very suddenly with a record scratch.}

STINKOMAN: Uh, I don't know. Maybe... maybe I am broken? I remember fighting a tornado with sunglasses in the clouds, then a giant fridge in a world made over floating trees and ovens... and I was sad in a wall?

1-UP: What level was that?

STINKOMAN: Negative zero?

1-UP: So, your recap went backwards? How does that even work?

STINKOMAN: I don't know. My memories after that are weirdly foggy. I think... I think maybe the shadowy figure erased part of my memory.

''{The screen gets shaky as Stinkoman starts to panic. The camera zooms in on his terrified face. It is eerily realistic with reddened, veiny eyes and the material of Stinkoman's mask being subtle, yet clearly visible. Sweat goes down the middle of his face as his eyes dart around the room. His ball-like fists press up against the sides of his face. He wants to scream. There are flashes on-screen of other parts of the game, Stinkoman 20X6. Stinkoman fighting the various level bosses, getting almost stomped to death by a Jaro. He tries to remember the Shadowy Figure's face, but it's blurred in his memory. It seems to resemble Coach Z, but the features are too fuzzy to make out in his mind. Suddenly, he collapses to the floor.}''

1-UP: STINKOMAN!

''{Fade from black a short while later, Stinkoman wakes up in his bed and looks around the room. 1-Up and Pan Pan are standing by his bedside.}''

STINKOMAN: Wuh-what happened?

1-UP: Well, you said a bunch of nonsense, mumbled something about a glitch city and then passed out.

STINKOMAN: Pan Pan?

PAN PAN: {Badalang, badalang, badalang.}

STINKOMAN: Come again?

PAN PAN: {Badalang, badalang, badalang.}

STINKOMAN: Oh. That explains everything! Thanks for explaining in elaborate detail why I can't remember. So, I really did beat the tenth level? And I got to see the eleventh? What was it like?

PAN PAN: {Badalang, badalang, badalang.}

STINKOMAN: Wow. What a satisfying answer! I really did go BEYOND! Bahahahahahaha!

{They all laugh.}

1-UP: {stops laughing} I don't get it.

{Cut back to Stinkoman at his holographic computer, typing out his final thoughts on everything.}

STINKOMAN: Well, there you go, Miitsumaatsu. An elaborate, satisfying answer to an age old question. Man, oh man! I wish you could have seen Level 11. It blows all the other levels out of the water and then some! With that being said, this has been Stinkoman and... uh, like, comment, subscribe? Did I do it right? I don't... I don't even know anymore.

Fun Facts

 * This whole email is a love letter to the online Flash game Stinkoman 20X6, featuring references to multiple cutscenes and story elements from the game.
 * The references to Level 10 are in relation to the fact that currently the game does not have a tenth level (as of the posting of this Stinkoman Email) and fans have been wanting it for a very long time. There have been a few teaser trailers in recent years, but they were not referenced in the email.
 * It can be argued that this episode is an example of the Writer Cop Out trope in which a writer builds up a story to an implied meaningful conclusion or particular climax and then opts for the less ambitiuous ending instead. Obviously played for laughs in this case.
 * As fans typically like to adopt things Homestar Runner characters say as jokes into genuine canon, Level 11 would exist somewhere between Level 10 and Level 12: FRONT HALLWAY. Mentioned in Fan Costumes '07 in which the end boss is "a vase full of peacock feathers".
 * This is the first on-screen appearance of Pan Pan in Stinkoman Email having previously been mentioned in Stinkoman Email #1: Challenge.