AWMPSCEIRLOMGG/Week 1 (1st half)

Wrestling Observer News

 * The main event of this week's WWE Raw was Mark Henry and John Cena defeating Reverend D-Von and Samoa Joe, in yet another straightforward Cena win.
 * On the same card, in a tables match, Chris Masters, Batista and Chris Jericho defeated Christian, RVD and Rey Mysterio when Mysterio got Batista bombed through the table. And Trish Stratus defeats Lita, in a match that proves the divas are becoming as popular as the male wrestlers.
 * The latest episode of ZERO1-Max First Strike saw Shinjiro Otani and Katsuhiko Nakajima defeat Masaaki Mochizuki and TAKA Michinoku. The program is only a year old and already getting massive ratings.
 * Big title match occurred on Dragon Gate Infinity, as CIMA defended the Open The Brave Gate title against Naomichi Marufuji, Heat and Magnum TOKYO in a serious, evenly matched bout.
 * Mai Ichii has left the business temporarily to train for her upcoming MMA fight, which is coming up in 5 months. She will return to OZ Academy soon after her fight.
 * WWE Smackdown had a four-way dance that seems odd but was surprisingly entertaining. The Undertaker defeated Bradshaw, AJ Styles and Chavo Guerrero in a solid match.
 * Before the main event, Daivari made a clean defense of his Cruiserweight title against Palmer Canon, to a big crowd pop.
 * Nick Dinsmore is going to do a stint in Pro Wrestling NOAH, hoping to show off his skills as himself rather than "Eugene" for once. We'll see if he makes an impact.
 * Dawn Marie has officially retired from wrestling after being unable to land a solid wrestling job for a year or more. She is still available as a manager or in-ring personality.
 * For all you gossip fans, there are rumors that Maryse and Jóse López are going to date. The same rumors suggest Mariko Yoshida and Masaaki Mochizuki are an item as well.

In a random event center in Georgia...
{The Knight and The Cleric are seen in the backstage area of an unfamiliar stadium, looking around in amazement at their surroundings}

THE KNIGHT: Wow. Everything here pops out at you with so much detail.

THE CLERIC: 'Tis a genuine miracle that we were sent here. Now I'm not saying this proves the existence of Deity but you'd better pay more visits to my chapel when we return home, just in case.

THE KNIGHT: Gotcha-roonie.

{They come across a sign with an arrow, reading Locker Room - Men's}

THE KNIGHT: This is where we're supposed to be.

THE CLERIC: Let us enter and introduce ourselves to our fellow ring gladiators.

''{They enter the room and see some wrestlers changing into their ring gear, having some waters or just chatting. The room falls silent when the pair enters}''

THE CLERIC: {bows} Salutations, and good faith be with you.

THE KNIGHT: Hiya!

{Beat as the wrestlers give them some odd looks}

SCOTT LOST: ...The heck are those things??

JOEY RYAN: I'm not wrestling that.

JACK EVANS: Why's one of them wearing full plate armor?

THE CLERIC: Now now, no need to make such a fuss over us. We are simply here to, er, "do the job"? Is that the correct term?

THE KNIGHT: We're just here to get twenty extra bucks before we begin our first show at AWMPSCE.

ZOKRE: Did you come from that gymnasium that fell out of the sky last week in Atlanta?

THE CLERIC: Why yes, I do believe you are speaking of the very same--

{A belch and a grunt interrupts them, coming from three wrestlers in the corner, who look like the most hardcore guys in the room, that the undercard wrestlers are giving plenty of space}

THE KNIGHT: Who are they?

PHOENIX STAR: They're ECW guys.

THE SANDMAN: Hey, I don't care you dressed like some baby toys as long as you take a bump worth a crap.

NECRO BUTCHER: Just don't suck in the ring, man, that's all I can tell ya.

MAD MAN PONDO: We're gonna get so wasted after the show, you can come along but you're buyin'.

THE CLERIC: {clutching his scroll} Sir, I am a man of the cloth.

{The hardcore wrestlers start laughing out loud}

THE CLERIC: Remind me to stay away from hardcore wrestling promotions, good sir knight.

THE KNIGHT: Let's just get through this and call it a day.

*The Knight and The Cleric appeared at a local independent show.*

Angel Fashion defeats The Knight (Rating: 16)

Shinjitsu Nohashi defeats The Cleric (Rating: 17)

Inside Empty High School Gymnasium...
{Inside Empty High School Gymnasium, Haysi Fantayzee and Homsar once again address their friends and acquaintances, with the exception of Pom Pom}

HAYSI: Fabulous! Everyone's here!

HOMSAR: AaAaA, we're hauling this leather as wonderwall!

HAYSI: Now let's set up the hierarchy around here. My major stars will be il Cartographer and Mr. Cheatayama...

STRONG BAD: Which is the understatement of the century!

HAYSI: Jack 'em Up Kid and Gary the Legend...

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Hoo yeah! Hoo yeah! Jack 'em up Dan!

HAYSI: Magnificent Marzipan...

MARZIPAN: I won't let you down. Girl power!

HAYSI: And me!

STRONG SAD: Uh, can you even wrestle?

HAYSI: I can probably figure it out by our first big event.

COACH Z: So, what else you gat to say dere?

HAYSI: Okay, so teams. Gary and Jack 'em Up are a team of course... Grape Fairie and giant bee are together... Sad Kids as well... me and Homsar will also be together as our new wave band!

STRONG BAD: Not me and Graw Mad?

HAYSI: I plan to put the Sizzleweight strap on you anyway.

STRONG BAD: {singing like Strong Mad} You are forgiven!

HAYSI: Now I have an idea. The King of Town and his servants will be a stable... except for The Knight and Blacksmith, who will be a heel team, The Of Town Rebellion!

THE KNIGHT: Wow! An actual storyline! You're getting good at this.

HAYSI: Last thing. We're going to be doing some free house shows each week, featuring our lesser stars, in this gymnasium! We'll eat a lot of debt, paying you guys each time, but hopefully it will turbo-boost our popularity so we can start charging money later. We'll keep it going as long as we have spare money in the hole.

{The crowd voices their approval of the idea}

HAYSI: Now let's get ready for the first show, keep it steady as we go go go! We'll all be superstars on a rocketship to Mars!

HOMSAR: WeEeEeEe're the suture of office supplies, cakemeister!

*Success: AWMPSCE now has a full roster.*