Pixstar Runner/Scripts

Whenever is working on a new Pixstar Runner toon, he always creates a script for it before doing the majority of the Scratch animating; either on Windows's Notepad application or Kindle Fire's word-processing app. These scripts do not always match the final product exactly; SRMX12 may change, add, or delete lines or actions in the actual toon. The following is a list of past scripts for toons that have since been released.

Note: whenever invisocomment notation appears in a script, the comments were actually written by SRMX12 in the original script as side notes.

First Draft
SRMX12 originally started making the first Pixel Strong Bad Email without a script; however, he eventually scrapped his original idea and wrote an improved script for the final version. This is a transcription of the original. "..."s are in place of action that was kept in the new version. ...

STRONG BAD:	{typing} Anyway, unpronouncable name, it's no secret that The Cheat and I have been working on creating a functional time machine for some time now. {clears screen} And when I say The Cheat and I, I mean mostly The Cheat. All that quantum mechanic-ing is hard work, man. Anyways, I oughta go see how he's coming along.

{Strong Bad gets up from his chair. Cut to Strong Badia, where The Cheat is painting "thyme?" on a cardboard box with a clock duct-taped to it. Strong Bad walks in from the left of the screen.}

...

STRONG BAD:	Alright! Now let's get this thing off the ground!

THE CHEAT:	Meh mehneh?

STRONG BAD:	Let's go back a few generations and see if we can mess with some history!

THE CHEAT:	Mreh!

...

STRONG BAD:	The Cheat! I think we've entered transwarp! {pause} So what, do you think, like, Trogdors are gonna rule the Earth or something?

THE CHEAT:	Meh!

...

STRONG BAD:	Whoa! I think we've landed in the... pre...mezoic era.

THE CHEAT:	Mreheh meh?

STRONG BAD:	Let's look around, and see if we can find some primitive lifeforms.

{Strong Bad and The Cheat walk offscreen to the left. Cut to another scene in the Storybook The Field, where The Homestar Runner is standing.}

STRONG BAD:	Ooh! There's one.


 * "Oh no! It's-a Strong Bad!" exclaimed the no-armed whitey.

STRONG BAD:	Yes, well, shut up. What do you make of this guy, The Cheat?

{As The Cheat responds, Tiny-Handed Strong Bad walks onscreen from the left.}

THE CHEAT:	Meh! Mehehmeh!


 * "Shut up your face, loser-type!" commanded More-Different Strong Bad.

STRONG BAD:	Did you just call me "loser type"? Let's get outta here, The Cheat. These morons are too B.C. for me.

Final Script
The new version ended up being quite similar to the final version of &mdash; the most major difference being a segment at the end of the script that was not included in the toon. {The computer room is shown, with the Lappier on the table. After a second or two, Strong Bad walks onscreen.}

STRONG BAD:	Well... I'm finally finished not checking my email. Guess I should maybe... check my email. {sits down at computer} Whatcha got for me, Lappier? {brings up the email}


 * Dear Cool Bad,
 * have you ever built a time machine?
 * What time would you travel to if you had one?
 * With correct grammar and spelling,
 * Gfdgsgxgzdrc

STRONG BAD:	{typing} What, are you Fhqwhgads's twin brother or something? Jeez. Anyway, unpronounceable name, if I had a time machine, I would probably travel back into the...pre-middle ages. When Trogdors ruled the Earth. And a dollar was worth like fifty golden nuggets. {clears screen} And...coincidentally, I just so happened to have commissioned The Cheat to build a functional time machine about a week ago. So let's go see how he's coming along.

{Strong Bad gets up from his chair. Cut to Strong Badia, where The Cheat is painting "thyme?" on a cardboard box with a clock duct-taped to it. Strong Bad walks in from the left of the screen.}

STRONG BAD:	Hey, The Cheat. Ooh! Looks like you're almost finished.

THE CHEAT:	{The Cheat noises}

STRONG BAD:	Yeah, looks pretty legit. Nice use of duct-taping a clock to cardboard. Um... did you subverse the polarons to account for interspace flux?

THE CHEAT:	{questioning The Cheat noises}

STRONG BAD:	I dunno. That sounds like science, right?

THE CHEAT:	{affirmative The Cheat noises}

STRONG BAD:	Alright! Is this thing ready for a little test-flight?

{Cut to a closeup of Strong Bad and The Cheat, now in the box.}

STRONG BAD:	You ready for this, The Cheat?! {pause} Um, how do you make this thing go?

THE CHEAT:	{The Cheat noises}

{Zoom back out. The time machine has started rapidly vibrating up and down.}

STRONG BAD:	Whoa!

{The time machine launches and flies off the left side of the screen. It is then seen flying through several scenes; The Stick, Bubs' Concession Stand, and the computer room with Homsar floating upside-down in it. The screen fades to black, then the time machine is shown flying through a purple space.}

STRONG BAD:	The Cheat! I think we've hit transwarp! {pause; looks around} Whoa, these visual effects are awesome! Look at those... quantum particles.

THE CHEAT:	{enthusiastic The Cheat noises}

{Fade to black again, then fade back in to The Field. The time machine materializes in midair, speeding toward the ground.}

STRONG BAD:	Pull in for a landing, The Cheat!

{The time machine comes to a stop on the ground. Strong Bad and The Cheat look around.}

STRONG BAD:	Well, that was the coolest thing ever. How far back did we go? Like, three or four millenia?

THE CHEAT:	{The Cheat noises}

STRONG BAD:	Two or three days?! The Cheat! I told you to use more endurium! change this word

THE CHEAT:	{either angry or ashamed The Cheat noises}

STRONG BAD:	Now these {holds up two dollar bills} two dollars will probably only be worth three ounces of copper. Oh well. That's enough to buy, like, a platinum guitar. consider changing Let's go.

{Cut to the Basement of the Brothers Strong, where Strong Sad is sitting on the couch, watching TV. Strong Bad and The Cheat enter from the right.}

STRONG BAD:	Ooh, look, The Cheat. An early lifeform from the pre-mezoic era.

STRONG SAD:	That's a new one. What are you guys up to?

STRONG BAD:	{turning to The Cheat} It seems to be using some primitive form of communication. What do you think, The Cheat?

THE CHEAT:	{disapproving The Cheat noises}

STRONG SAD:	Ugh, never mind. insert some witty remark

STRONG BAD:	Fine! I didn't want to hang around here anyway, Cave-nerd.

{Strong Bad and The Cheat walk away. Cut to The Field, where Homestar Runner is looking at the time machine. Strong Bad and The Cheat enter from the left.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER:	Oh wow! What a great new invention!

STRONG BAD:	Hey! Homestar! Get the crap away from our thyme machine!

HOMESTAR RUNNER:	{turns around and jumps in place with excitement} Ooh, ooh! A futurem'n from the twentiest century! Can you replicate me an autograph?

STRONG BAD:	Uh, I'll cut you a deal. You can have our time machine for... fifty gold nuggets.

HOMESTAR RUNNER:	Sweet bargains! {throwing a sack labeled "GOLD-FASHIONED" down at Strong Bad's feet} A-sold! {picks up the time machine, puts it on his head, and starts to walk away} Thanks, space type!

STRONG BAD:	{picks up the sack and looks at it} Whoa, look at all this solid-ness! Bet I could buy, like, a something with this mess!

THE CHEAT:	{jumps into the air; triumphant The Cheat noises}

STRONG BAD:	Although I still kinda wish we'd gotten to travel back and kill Strong Sad's grandparents.

THE CHEAT:	{annoyed The Cheat noises}

STRONG BAD:	Oh, yeah. I guess they'd be my grandparents too.

{The Papier comes down. After five/ten seconds, Strong Bad from the past walks onscreen from the right.}

PAST STRONG BAD:	Hey! What the crap are you doing here?

STRONG BAD:	{looking around wildly} I-- whoosit-- habita-- {tossing the sack towards Past Strong Bad} Take this and forget you saw me! {Strong Bad and The Cheat run offscreen to the left}

PAST STRONG BAD:	{picking up the sack} Wow. I oughta try talking to myself more often.

First Draft
SRMX12 started writing the script for this toon on his Kindle Fire, as shown by a photo he released during production.

Homestar Runner 20th Anniversary Special
{Loading screen: the word "load" in pixelated Bauhaus 93 font against a black background; the number 20 is written inside the letters in blue and red. I know loading screens aren't usually in transcripts but oh well.}

{Opens in the basement of the Brothers Strong. Bubs, the King of Town, and Strong Sad are on the couch. Coach Z, Strong Mad, the Poopsmith, Pom Pom, and Marzipan stand behind the couch, and The Cheat sits in front of the couch.}

BUBS: Hey, the King. Didn't you order pizza a couple hours ago?

THE KING OF TOWN: Pizza? {looks around} Oh, yes. {burps} It came.

COACH Z: Ah, for cryin' out loud. {Pom Pom bubbles} Try havin' a proper reunion pratty with this guy around.

STRONG MAD: I WANT ANCHOVIES!

MARZIPAN: Hey, does anyone know where Strong Bad is? Someone invited him, right?

STRONG SAD: It wasn't me.

{Cut to Homestar Runner standing in front of the Telebision.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Ahem. My good friends, colleagues, and accolades. It is such a special honor to be gathered here in celebration of--

{Cut back to view of the couch. Strong Bad is now standing to the left of the screen, apparently having just walked in.}

STRONG BAD: Hey. What are y'alls doing in my basement?

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Happy days reunion, Strong Bad! [Maybe omit "days"-- don't necessarily want to reuse the joke.]

THE CHEAT: {The Cheat noises; to Strong Bad}

STRONG BAD: Twentieth anniversary?! That's today? That's this year?

HOMESTAR RUNNER: That's right that's right! Two-thousand-twenty-kay-sixteen! This year, our {holds up the original book} scrappy children's book selves are headin' for that big 2-0!

COACH Z: Just one year away from legal Ones age! {holds up a bottle labelled "Very Old One"}

STRONG BAD: Shouldn't several years of completely not activity not count toward anniversaries?

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {frowns} I dunno about your show. But all the classic hremails came out between aught eleven and aught fourteen. Decemberweener? Pants-leg? Hremail207?

STRONG SAD: Not to mention! The Strong Sad fanbase hit its greatest amount of users ever at almost negative two!

STRONG BAD: Yeah, that's not--

HOMESTAR RUNNER: So where was I? Oh yes. On a special occasion like this, it is important to deflect back on some of our finest memories. It all started two decades {puts emphasis on second syllable} ago--

{The background fades to the Storybook World, where storybook Homestar Runner, Strong Bad, and Pom Pom are seen. Modern-day Homestar stays in the foreground. The Fat Bee flies overhead as Homestar talks.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: --when three special people decided to enter a contest. Now, I don't remember who those people were, {fade to the scene from the original book where Homestar takes The Cheat out from under the grapes} or why that block of cheese kept showin' up, but I do know that that day... was a day... that a legacy was begun!

{Strong Bad enters the screen and pushes Homestar off.}

STRONG BAD: Get out. Then, {screen changes to some scene from Marshmallow's Last Stand} after the less dorkier of my two brothers was born and we pummelled Homestar in some boxing match, a few more dumb cartoons happened, {dramatic voice; background changes to several Strong Bad Emails at different computers, some of which never happened} and then began my slow empirical domination of the website's popularity! {As he speaks the last few words, fade to a picture of Strong Bad's head against a firey background, probably with some cool slogan in his handwriting.}

{Coach Z pops up in the middle of the screen.}

COACH Z: Hold on! You forgort the part where I skyracketed to the top o' the charts as a legendary rap-hop sensation! {As he speaks, background changes to a (maybe stylized) picture of Coach Z with a microphone. A generic-looking chart flies by, labelled "THE CHARTS", with Coach Z's head at the top. The scene is captioned "COACH Z / legendary rap-hop sensaysh!".}

{Maybe insert a few more characters' dialogue here, like Bubs, the King of Town, and Marzipan. Then cut back to the basement.}

STRONG BAD: Well, we've certainly had some good times. Spouting random nonsense... making fun of dumb stuff... {looking at Homestar} making fun of really dumb stuff...

HOMESTAR RUNNER: That is... sniff... so true. I hope you will all join me in a rousing rendition of our classic jam.

{Everybody poses in various ways.}

ALL: Everybody! Everybody!

BUBS: Happy birthday to us!

STRONG BAD: Aww... you too, Bubs. {pause} Now, get out my basement. Go. Everybody. Get out. {He prods people as they leave the screen to the left. Homsar walks out from behind the couch and exits as well. The screen fades to a grandiose ending screen celebrating 20 years of homestarrunner dot com. No two people are not on fire. Awww.}

Amendment
After animating the first part of the toon, SRMX12 wrote a second script for the latter half, which altered the ending that was originally planned. The first half remained the same. NOTE TO SELF: SAY WOUDS WIDE!

...

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Now, I don't remember who those people were, or why that block of cheese kept showin' up, but from that day came a fruited era of cartoons with bad plots and bad graphics. {Sniff} I'm moved to an emotion.

{Close-up on the Storybook Field, with like a larger view of Storybook Homestar and Strong Bad.}

THE HOMESTAR RUNNER: {captioned in that sweet Storybook way} "This is the twentiest anniversary I've ever had!" jubilated The Homestar Runner.

TINY-HANDED STRONG BAD: {same deal here} "I'll twentiest YOUR anniversary, loser-face!" inserted Strong Bad. {Storybook The Cheat walks up to him while he speaks.}

THE HOMESTAR RUNNER: {Modern-day Strong Bad walks onscreen in the foreground during this line} "Oh no, it's-a Strong Bad!"

STRONG BAD: Ah, let's skip past that boring mess. After a few dumb cartoons, I bought a crappy computer, and thus began my meteoric, or possibly asteroidic, rise to the domination of the website's popularity. {Starting at "crappy computer", the background changes through several Strong Bad Emails, starting with "some kinda robot"-- some of them never happened. It ends with a cool picture of Strong Bad's head surrounded by flames and stuff.}

{Coach Z pops up.}

COACH Z: Papularity? Only until I came in and broke the charts as a lorgendary rap-hop sensation! It was the era of the Z! I had to shut myself up in my lacker room to keep the ladies away! {While he speaks, the background is replaced with a stylized picture of Coach Z holding a microphone with the words "DRAP IT!" on it. The caption "COACH Z / leg'dary rap-hop sensaysh!" appears below.

STRONG BAD: Ugh. You broke something, alright.

...

STRONG BAD: Now, now, everyone. The point of an anniversary isn't to brag about false past accomplishments. {He pauses and looks around.} Okay, well, maybe it is. But it's also to celebrate our many years of togetherness and being together and... um... {falters and looks around again.} Never mind.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {He's in the foreground (non-silhouetted) with Strong Bad now} Thank you, Strong Bad. Here's to great times, good times, and a some lot years of stupid stuff!

EVERYBODY: YAY!

HOMESTAR RUNNER: I hope you'll all join me in a rousing rendition of our timeless reveille-- a-everybody, everybody.

EVERYBODY: Everybody, everybody! {Instead of being subtitled, a colorful caption in Bauhaus93 pops into existence.}

{Some minor partying happens-- if nothing else, some confetti rains down. Maybe Coach Z drinks a bit.}

STRONG BAD: Alright, now get out. Go on. Get outta here. Go. {He prods everybody towards the exit during a slow fade-out. Homsar floats out from behind the couch and also exits. Fade into some cool ending screen.}

Happy Ween Time!
Near Halloween 2016, SRMX12 attempted to make a short animation in celebration. Although he finished the script and started the animation process, it was not finished before the end of Halloween. Several revisions of the script were made at different points.

Happy Ween Time!
{The toon opens on a closeup of Homestar Runner standing next to Strong Bad in The Field at night, and slowly zooms out as he speaks.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Hey, Strong Bad. Somethin' looks different about you.

STRONG BAD: What are you talkin' about? I always look this cool... and... low-rez.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Hold, hold on! It's nighttime! And we aren't wearing any stupid costumes! What's happened to us?

STRONG BAD: {eyes lowered} You do realize it's three full days before Halloween?

HOMESTAR RUNNER: What'sat got to do with it? I thought the full moon always transformed us into outfits from obscure '70s shows!

STRONG BAD: Maybe YOU do. What are we even doing out here?

HOMESTAR RUNNER: I dunno. October spirit.

STRONG BAD: Whatever. I'm gonna go have some lying-on-the-couch-playing-video-games spirit. {He walks offscreen.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Suit yourself! I'll just stand here motionless for three more nights. I'll let you know when I start to turn into !

{The words "Happy sometime before Halloween!" appear at the bottom of the screen.}

Take 2
{The toon opens on a closeup of Homestar Runner standing in The Field at night. The scene slowly zooms out as Homestar speaks.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Oh. Man. There's only more hours until All Hallow's Ween! I'm so pumped! I'm so inflated! I just can't wait to put on a prancy blue costume and go on a hilarious Halloween adventu--

Take 3
{The toon opens on a closeup of Homestar Runner standing in The Field at night. The scene slowly zooms out as Homestar speaks.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Oh. Man. There's only zero more hours until All Hallow's Ween! I got my {takes out his Mr. B Natural hat and shakes it} prancy blue costume all ready! I'm so pumped! I'm so inflated! I can't wait to go--

STRONG BAD: {walking in from the right} Homestar, what are you still doing out here?

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {frowning} Still? What are YOU only-just-NOW doing out here? {normal} I'm all of a flutter {gestures with the hat} for tonight's hilarious Halloween adventure!

STRONG BAD: {eyelids lowered} You do realize that all that junk happened three whole days ago?

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Wait, what? How did that happen?

STRONG BAD: I dunno man. Halloween came early this year. Don't you remember? You made the experience about a trillion times more painful.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Hmm... Last I remember, I was being possessed by a giant orange mushroom. I think I blacked out.

STRONG BAD: Wish that would happen more often. I'm gonna go finish my last dregs of Halloween candy. I think I still have a Zagnut stowed under the second couch cusion... {he walks off}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Okay! I'll probably just stand here until next Halloween.

{The words "happy 'ween!" appear at the bottom of the screen.}

Like, the second Pixel Strong Bad Email had an early draft that didn't get very far before it was scrapped, and then a complete version later on. Both scripts played on the same theme at the beginning, but with slightly different dialogue.

cheeseburgers
alternate title: fatten up

Script
STRONG BAD:	{singing} I'm gonna check my email, my email, my email, I'm gonna check my email toniiight! {brings up the email}


 * Dear Muscular Strong Bad
 * Bubs is a fat man. Give him 100
 * cheeseburgers please! I wanna see
 * my blue man fattened up.
 * Come on, man!
 * With love
 * A super nice girl named Coach E
 * xxx

STRONG BAD:	{clears screen; typing} I'm sorry E... the words "coach" and "super nice girl" just don't mix well. I hope for your sake that you live in a nicer locker room. {clears screen} To address your...request, you certainly seem to have inherited Coach Z's more-than-slight creepiness. But I'll see what I can do...

{Strong Bad gets up from his chair. Cut to Bubs' Concession Stand, as Strong Bad walks up to Bubs.}

STRONG BAD:	Hey ol' Bubs. I got a fan on the line here who wants you to eat a hundred broigers.

BUBS:		{irritated} Another one? {close-up on Bubs} How many times have I told you people? I'm on a diet! I only eat stuff in sets of fifty or below! {wide shot} Besides, the last time I tried a stunt like that, I couldn't fit into my weight-loss belt for a week and a half!

STRONG BAD:	{looks left, then right; raises his arm and speaks persuasively} It's from a super nice girl...

{Close-up on Bubs.}

BUBS:		{raising his arm and dropping his irritated manner} Anything for the fans!

{Static cut to the set of The Show, where Homestar Runner is standing on the podium with his usual microphone.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER:	Welcome back, many viewers! You guessed it-- it's time for the Weekly Semi-Weekly Total Gorge-a-thon! {smiles at the camera} Let's have a look at our spry young contestants!

{Homestar steps off the podium and walks to the right, arriving at Bubs sitting at a table that is labeled "BUBS!".}

HOMESTAR RUNNER:	Contestant Number Only, your name Bubs!

{Close-up on Bubs.}

BUBS:		That's a fact! {switches head} All the ladytypes know that the only thing better than Bubs is a lightly fattened Bubs!

Second Draft
A few elements of this script were not kept, including a short section at the end of the The Show scene, and two Easter eggs.

cheeseburgers script
STRONG BAD: Oh, email me until the morning light...


 * Dear Muscular Strong Bad
 * Bubs is a fat man. Give him 100
 * cheeseburgers please! I wanna see
 * my blue man fattened up.
 * Come on, man!
 * With love
 * A super nice girl named Coach E
 * xxx

STRONG BAD: {clears screen; typing} Whoa, whoa, whoa. Coach... super nice... girl... what?? Everything I know about the universe is falling apart right now. It's almost like that dream I had about Strong Mad becoming a Yale professor. {shakes his head; clears the screen} Well {thinks for a second} Edna, the only places I've seen people insane enough to do that are at those televised eating contests. The ones where you win a [something probably humorous] for eating twice your weight in {pause} lobster rolls. I still haven't figured out what those are. Anyway, I can't guarantee anything, but I'll try it.

{Cut to Bubs' Concession Stand. Strong Bad walks up.}

STRONG BAD: Hey there, ol' Bubs. I got a fan on the line who wants you to eat a hundred cheesebroigers.

BUBS: {Close-up on Bubs} {annoyed} Another one? How many times have I told you people? I'm on a diet! I only eat things in sets of fifty or below! Last time I tried a stunt like that back in aught ten, I couldn't fit into my weight loss belt for a week and a half!

STRONG BAD: {Inside view of the concession stand. Strong Bad looks to the left and right.} Hey, Bubs. A super nice girl wants you to eat a hundred burgers.

BUBS: {Close-up on Bubs, who drops his annoyed tone and raises an arm} Anything for the fans!

{Static cut to the set of The Show. Homestar Runner stands on the podium, with his usual microphone.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: And welcome back, many viewers! Now for the moment some of you might have been waiting for-- it's time for the Annual Semi-Annual Food-A-Thon! Allow me to--

{Pan right to where Bubs and The King of Town are seen behind tables. Bubs's table has a banner labeled "BUBS the returning champion from '010!" and The King of Town's has a banner labeled "the kay OH tee!"}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: --introduct you to our luscious contestants... Bubs and The King of Town!

BUBS: {Close up on the contestants} {To The King of Town} Back in my heyday, I used to eat twenty eating contests without breakin' a sweat!

THE KING OF TOWN: Oh yeah? I ate my castle twice for breakfast this morning! And for dessert, I--

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {Interrupting; alternating his head position with each phrase} Gentlemen! You know the rules. Both have equal portions. No shoving. No biting. No wagering. Whoever finishes one hundred burglars within five minutes will be the winner! {Close-up on Homestar} On your marks... get set...

{Pom Pom is shown to the left of The King of Town's table holding his pistol.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {From offscreen} Go! {Pom Pom simultaneously fires the pistol into the air (possibly blowing him away from the force).}

{A montage of shots is shown as Bubs and The King of Town start eating cheeseburgers. Bubs takes burgers from beneath his table and stuffs them into his mouth, while The King of Town seems to use suction to vacuum them from below.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {simultaneously; commentating} And they're off! Bubs takes an early lead in the first inning! Passes the ball to Reg! Score!

{"Bip" cut to Homestar still commentating a bit later. Pom Pom stands behind him, looking annoyed.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: They're neck and neck! Turn onto the last straightaway-- they're heading for home plate!

[Possibly ease up a bit on the constant sports references-- make it easier to follow and remind the audience that they are watching an eating contest. Still keep it funny.]

{Cut to Bubs and The King of Town still chowing away, slower and/or visibly tired out. The numeric displays above their tables show that Bubs has eaten 99, and the King has eaten 95.}

{Cut to Coach Z cheering Bubs on.}

COACH Z: Go on, big Bubson! Swallow that last bite and you win!

{Cut to back to Bubs putting salt on it or something. Suddenly, cracks appear in the floor beneath both contestants, and they fall through the floor. The King gives a surprised "Doo!" Homestar, Pom Pom, Coach Z, and Strong Bad look surprised (although maybe Pom Pom's laughing).}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: It's a draw! {The words "IT'S A DRAW!" appear and confetti rains.}

BUBS: You kidding me?! That crack in the floor was mine! Give me the trophy!

THE KING OF TOWN: Doo! In your dreams! That, my friend, was the fall of a king!

{The screen darkens and the Blubb-O's logo appears.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {these words might just appear on the screen} The Annual Semi-Annual Food-A-Thon sponsored by Blubb-O's. The Show provided through the generosity of Coach E, and of biewers like you. {A female-looking Coach Z replaces the logo, with an "E?" emblem and the slogan "Super nice girl since 1983"}

{Cut back to Strong Bad typing}

STRONG BAD: Bubs and the King of Town both received a 300 dollar coupon to the Pea Palace as a consulation prize. I haven't enjoyed watching an eating contest so much in years! Thanks, Coachie! Maybe I should sign myself up for it next year. Next {pause} semi-year.

{The Papier comes down.}

Easter Eggs
Click on "Yale professor" to see a drawing on lined paper of Strong Mad in a suit and glasses giving a lecture. Click on "Pea Palace" to see a logo for the place. Click on "King of Town" to see a scene of him at the castle ticked off about his prize.

The document containing the script (named simply "Decemberween toon") also contains notes and an outline for the cartoon. The toon itself followed the script fairly closely, save for some minor tweaks and an Easter egg that was not included.

= Decemberween toon =

Idea Deals
WORKING TITLE: The Year Without a Thnikkaman So we're going to play off the classic "Christmas will have to be cancelled" theme that's like in every Christmas movie ever. 'Cept this time it's Decemberween.

Plot? Outline??
[X] Strong Bad starts out writing a letter to the Dethemberween Thnikkaman telling him what he wants for Decemberween. [X] Strong Sad walks in and scoffs at him, saying there's no such thing as the Dethemberween Thnikkaman. Strong Bad tries to defend him, hurt. [X] Strong Bad goes outside to mail his letter (it's snowing, yay!!), where he sees people like Homestar Runner, Marzipan, etc who all say that the Thnikkaman isn't real and are lacking in holiday spirit. Strong Bad is disheartened. [X] Scene with Strong Bad and The Cheat walking (near the brick wall), saying that he just doesn't get why nobody seems to have any Decemberween cheer. [X] Strong Bad finds out from the Thnikkaman that Decemberween is cancelled because nobody believes in him, etc etc. *Maybe he finds out via a letter, or maybe the Thnikkaman comes to him, or some dream sequence happens or something. [X] Strong Bad is shocked and saddened and is determined to bring Decemberween spirit back to Free Country, USA so he can get presents. The Cheat helps him. [X] He goes around to different characters (Bubs included) to try to convince them that they have to save Decemberween. Responses at first are not too positive. [X] At last, with night falling (it's D'weve and time is running out), Strong Bad has a sudden revelation and reveals some solid proof of the Thnikkaman's existence to the characters. *Perhaps he finds the Thnikkaman's cool shades somewhere, or a letter written by him... something. Probably the cool shades. [ ] The other characters are all like "Oh! He's real! We never should have doubted you! It's a miracle!" etc. Maybe Homestar's still skeptical, but that's just Homestar besing Homestar. [ ] Everything turns out okay. Decemberween finally shows up. Probably some joke at the end.

Script in Progression
{Open on a view of Strong Bad's computer room wall. Slowly pan down to see Strong Bad sitting at his desk, with a piece of paper in front of him. He writes on the paper with a pencil as he speaks.}

STRONG BAD: "Dear Dethemberween Thnikkaman..."

{Cut to a view of the paper as Strong Bad continues to write.}

STRONG BAD: "It's me, Strong Bad (aka Cool Awesome Wrestleman Supreme). How you been doin', man? I am proud to inform you that I have been very awesome all year, so I expect a minimum of no less than 21 gift-wrapped boxes this Decemberween. Some of the essentials of my list include high-velocity firearms, a laser-equipped robot suit, and $899 in cash or chocolates. I hope you have a safe ride... or... creep. {Cut to a front view of Strong Bad as he finishes writing} "Tenaciously yours*, Stro--" {He is interrupted by Strong Sad's entrance.}

STRONG SAD: Hey Strong Bad. What are you doing in here?

STRONG BAD: {all defensive} None of your business, Dumpian Gray. I'm writing my letter to the Dethemberween Thnikkaman.

STRONG SAD: The Dethemberween Thnikkaman? You write letters to him? Everybody knows he's just a children's story to scare little kids!

STRONG BAD: Wait, what are you saying? You don't believe in the Thnikkaman?

STRONG SAD: No! The cool shades... the unmarked van... the sneaking into town in the dead of night... it always seemed really sketchy to me.

STRONG BAD: Unbeliever! He'll show you on Decemberween morning when you wake up and find a slipper fulla blank Sandisks! {He walks out of the room.}

{Cut to Strong Bad walking in The Field in winter, covered with snow and such. He's dressed in a hat and sweater and stuff, and holding an envelope. He reaches a red mailbox, with Marzipan standing nearby. A sign lies face-down on the ground.}

MARZIPAN: Oh, hi Strong Bad. I just mailed my five-cent donation to the Depressing Old Person holiday fundraiser.

STRONG BAD: Isn't this my mailbox?

MARZIPAN: I don't think so. Who are you writing to?

STRONG BAD: Oh, I'm just mailing my list to the Dethemberween Thnikkaman. Gotta be sure I get the appropriate amount of present-loot, you know.

MARZIPAN: There's no such thing as a Dethemberween Thnikkaman, Strong Bad. I find that idea offensive. I prefer to celebrate Decemberween for more spiritual reasons, like frenzied consumerism and marketing greed. {She picks up her sign, which has the words "Put the WEEN back in DECEMBERWEEN" on it, and walks away.}

{Wipe to Strong Bad and Homestar Runner standing at The Stick, which is decorated for Decemberween.}

STRONG BAD: ...and then she just up and walked away!

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Oh man, I know, right? Marzipan can be such a total drag. {Change in composure} Who did you say you wrote a letter to?

STRONG BAD: Uh, the Dethemberween Thnikkaman?

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {suddenly frowning} The Thnikkaman? I don't believe in that guy! I don't think he exists!

{Wipe to Strong Bad at Bubs' Concession Stand, which is probably in some way decorated for Decemberween.}

BUBS: The who?

STRONG BAD: The Dethember--

BUBS: {interrupting} The Dethemberween Thnikkaman? Never heard of him!

{Wipe to Strong Bad at the Poopsmith's pile. The Poopsmith shakes his head at Strong Bad. Slow zoom-out.}

STRONG BAD: The Thnikkaman is real! You'll see! You'll all see!

{Less-abrupt transition to Strong Bad and The Cheat walking by the brick wall, slowly.}

STRONG BAD: I just don't understand it, The Cheat. Nobody believes in the Dethemberween Thnikkaman. {exaggeratedly} It's like there's no holiday cheer left in Free Country, USA! {They stop walking; close-up} Not that I care or anything. As long as I get my annual supply of lethal and awesome weapons, who cares if these heathens--

{An envelope hits Strong Bad somehow.}

STRONG BAD: Ow! The crap's this? {He opens it up and reads it; close-up on the letter and pan down. A ghost-image of the Thnikkaman appears on it, all emotionally-style.}

THE THNIKKAMAN: "Hey, kid. There's no holiday cheer left in Free Country, USA. No peoples believes in me anymore. Therefore Decemberween will be cancelled. Sorry to crush your spirit unmercifully, The Dethemberween Thnikkaman. Yeah, shut up, kid."

STRONG BAD: Oh no! {wide shot, revealing not The Cheat in front of Strong Bad} Decemberween is c-- {pauses and turns around to where The Cheat is} Decemberween is cancelled! A whole month of being awesome for nothing! He didn't even give three weeks' notice!

THE CHEAT: {The Cheat noises}

STRONG BAD: Come on, man! This means no presents! No heavy-duty artillery! No packages, boxes, or bags!

THE CHEAT: {more The Cheat noises}

STRONG BAD: Hmm, yeah! Maybe we could somehow convince the rest of everybody that the Thnikkaman is real... within five hours, maybe Decemberween will be un-cancelled! Somehow. {close-up} Come on, The Cheat! It's up to us to save Decemberween!

{Cut to a dramatic shot of Strong Bad standing with The Cheat on the soapbox, which reads "Like, Eighteen*". Silhouettes are seen in the foreground, preferably obscure enough not to show who they are. Some kinda dramatic pan down/zoom out while he speaks.}

STRONG BAD: Good peoples of our nation! Also lame peoples of our nation! Harken to my sounds! Decemberween is in dire trouble! {strikes a dramatic pose} Remember, my friends, listen to me, because I pass this way but once!

{Reverse shot, revealing that Strong Bad is talking to Homestar Runner, Homsar, the King of Town, and Coach Z.}

COACH Z: Dire trouble? What a load of malarkaroni!

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {frowning} Decemberween? I don't believe in Decemberween! I think it's an elaborate hoax!

HOMSAR: IIiiiII buried my troubles in the toast box!

STRONG BAD: No, for real! You guys gotta believe me! If we stop believing in the Thnikkaman, Decemberween will be cancelled... and ruined... and the worst ever!

THE KING OF TOWN: You youngstersnappers have it all wrong these days! The Decemberweens don't come from any Stickaman! They come from inside, along with a half-dozen lightly-braised holiday turkeys, smothered in glazed gravy! {zoom-out to show everyone else looking at him} The true meaning of Decembers-ween!

{Cut to the basement of the Brothers Strong, where Strong Bad is sitting with The Cheat.}

STRONG BAD: Well, that totally didn't work. What now?

THE CHEAT: {tired The Cheat noises}

STRONG BAD: You kidding? We can't give up now! It's almost Decemberw-- {quick zoom to a clock, which shows that it's very close to midnight} Holy crap! It's almost Decemberween! We gotta get our presents! {different shot, somehow} I just know that we'll find a way to bring back the Thnikkaman by taking another random walk in the snow in the middle of the night. Let's go! {They get all up off the couch and walk off; probably a quick fade-out}

{Cut to The Field in winter at night. It's fairly darkish and snowing pretty hard. Strong Bad and The Cheat walk and walk, with a sweet side-scrolling animation.}

THE CHEAT: {maybe he's wearing a cardigan or something} {shivery cold The Cheat noises}

STRONG BAD: Just hang in there, The Cheat. I'm sure we'll find a miracle somewhere around here... somewhere... just gotta keep-- {They've come to the weird shrub, which Senor Cardgage is standing weirdly nearby.}

SENOR CARDGAGE: Oh, handy, Belissa. Could I borrow your thin physique?

{Pause, then they keep walking.}

STRONG BAD: Oh, forget it! It's hopeless. Decemberween is totally cancelled. Let's just go home, cry ourselves to sleep, and not get up until at least New Year's. {By this point they've reached a darkened Bubs' Concession Stand... a clump of snow is seen to the left.}

THE CHEAT: {affirmative The Cheat noises}

STRONG BAD: Wait, what's that? {quick zoom-in on the clump of snow; they walk up to it} It's more snow! And underneath that more snow... {clears the snow and reveals the Thnikkaman's cool shades, which he picks up} I refuse to believe it! It's a pair of cool, cool shades! These belong to the Thnikkaman! He must've dropped them! {wide shot} Come on! We gotta go show the townsfolk!

THE CHEAT: {enthusiastic The Cheat noises}

{They dash offs. Cut to a close-up of Strong Bad's glove holding up the cool shades, with a dramatic zoom-out/pan-down.}

STRONG BAD: Behold! The esteemed and cool-awesome eyepiece of the D'thween Thnikkaman himself! Proof, beyond all unreasonable doubt, that there is a Dethemberween Thnikkaman! Who exists, and is real! {By this point it has zoomed out enough to show the characters he's talking to, which include but are not limited to Marzipan, Homestar, and probably Coach Z. Not Bubs.}

COACH Z: I repent all my sins! Have mercy on me, oh great and powerful Thnikkaman!

MARZIPAN: At first I doubted you, Strong Bad, but now that you've shown this unequivocal evidence, I can no longer rationally deny it! I'll try to deny it using other means.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {You know, try to put on an air of bad acting-ish here} Oh Strong Bad, we never should have doubted you! I think you've shown me the true meaning of Decembers-ween!

STRONG BAD: Wait, shut up. What's that sound?

HOMESTAR RUNNER: You mean the sound of the freshly-driven snow?

STRONG BAD: No,--

COACH Z: I hear it! It's risin' up over hill and dayrle!

{They all listen intently. Slight zoom out leftwards as the words "Here Comes the Dethemberween Thnikkaman!" dance across the screen.}

THOSE HIGH-PITCHED SINGERS: Here comes the Dethemberween Thnikkaman!!

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Definitely drifted snow. {During his line, the Thnikkaman's unmarked van pulls in to the snow next to them, with the Thnikkaman himself in the window.}

STRONG BAD: The Dethemberween Thnikkaman! You came!

THE THNIKKAMAN: Somehow or other, I came just the same!

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Oh hey there, definitely all the time Bubs. Have you come to give us gifts of frankincense and/or myrrh?

THE THNIKKAMAN: What are you talkin' about, kid? I ain't no Bubs! You's got the wrong guy!

STRONG BAD: But Thnikkaman! I thought Decemberween was cancelled! Did you change your mind?

THE THNIKKAMAN: Nope, it's still cancelled! {Strong Bad and maybe the other characters look shocked for a few seconds} But who cares? Nobody tell the Thnikkaman what to do! I'm bringing ya's presents anyway!

MARZIPAN: Um, then why was it cancelled in the first place?

THE THNIKKAMAN: Alright, I gotta go. I got lawn tools to borrow! So long, kids!

STRONG BAD: Thankth, Dethemberween Thnikkaman! {close-up} And I heard him exclaim, ere he rode off of screen,

THE THNIKKAMAN: {as the van drives off in the distance} Shut up to all, and happy not Decemberween!

{Quick pan-down to The Field's bushes, which say "end" on them. Maybe somewhere below, "happy not decemberween!"}

Click on something for the a scene with Homestar and Strong Bad in the basement of the Brothers Strong...

STRONG BAD: Wait a minute! So how did I find the Thnikkaman's cool shades if he had them all along?

HOMESTAR RUNNER: What? Oh, that's not a plot hole. He probably keeps a spare pair just in case he needs to prove his existence to anybodys.

This script, not containing Marzipan's greeting, was followed fairly closely, with mostly just minor wording adjustments.

Message 1
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Oh, say, Marzipan. This is Homestar. There was, um, a question I wanted to ask you... uh, it's kinda urgent... is it "I could care less" or "I couldn't care less"? I mean, I'm pretty sure it's "I could care less". But, I really kinda need to find out, 'cause like, you know. Okay, so just let me know whether it's "could" or "couldn't", and whether or not I won fifteen bucks. I mean, I didn't say that part. I mean, bye! {beep!}

Message 2
STRONG BAD: Yes, hello, this call is for Miss Marzipan. This is, um, Steve Techperson... from the Legitimate Technology Corporation. I'm calling to save your computer. Uh, you may have noticed that your computer has one to three applications running at one time. You may have also noticed that your device has one to three little lights on... at one time. This-- that is the first stages of a very deadly virus, that will leave your computer paralyzed from the keyboard up within one to three weeks. So, uh-- so what you got to do is download our free legitimate anti-virus software, and that'll get rid of your virus. Alls you need to do is, uh, call back and give us some basic information... like your name, device model, your credit card number, your social security number, and um... the social security numbers of any living relatives. You got that? Just give us all that, and we'll hook you up with our legitimate software. Anyway, call back soon! Your virus is multiplying as we speak! {beep!}

Message 3
STRONG SAD: Hello? Hey, Marzipan... this is Strong Sad. I just wanted to know how you were doing, and um... also, is there any chance you could stop by sometime? With a lock-pick? Or maybe, you know, an axe? I mean, um... I'm kind of locked in the basement right now, and I'd really appreciate being liberated, I mean, whenever it's convenient for you. Strong Bad tricked me down here a few hours ago... told me my Latin library collection was down here... and, it was, but then he also deadbolted the door shut. It's not been so bad, really. I've been able to catch up a lot on my reading. But if you could just swing by sometime and let me out... that'd be really super.

STRONG BAD: {distant} Strong Sad, who are you talking to down there?

STRONG SAD: Oh! I can't let Strong Bad know I have a phone down here. {beep!}

Message 4
SENOR CARDGAGE: Oh, Aloe Vera. I must have gaven a long turn. I don't mean to hobble you... is this celophane brooched?

Message 5
BUBS: Hey there, Marzipan! It's Bubs. Listen, I had a question I was hopin' you could answer... "I could care less", or "I couldn't care less"? It's "couldn't care less", right? No big deal, but I've got fifteen dollars riding on this with Homestar, and I really need that money! I think someone tipped off the police about my non-combustible matches! So if you could get back to me on this one, I'd thank you a million. Uh-- times. A million times. {beep!}

Message 6
COACH Z: Uh, hey there, Marzipan. This is the Coach Z. I was just callin', just 'cause-- I don't know what anyone may have told you, or what you may have heard, but uh-- just remember that peoples sometimes overstate the truth. Not that anything happened, o' course, no reason, but there have been a few rumors goin' around, you know, like they do, and-- they're probably exorggeratin'. I didn't do anything worth rumorin' about. Okay. Just thought I'd let you's know. Have yourself a great day!

Easter Egg
{Homestar and Bubs are standing behind the concession stand. Homestar is holding a phone.}

BUBS: You sure Marzipan is gonna answer our question soon? I'm gettin' all jumpy!

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Marzipan? Oh, she would NEVER not check her answering machine. Always has before!