AWMPSCEIRLOMGG/Week 4 (2nd half)

Wrestling Observer News

 * On WWE Smackdown this week, Bradshaw and AJ Styles defeated Edge and Chavo Guerrero inside a big steel cage. Though Bradshaw did win, he did sustain a hernia in his groin during the match which will slow him down. Though he will still continue to wrestle.
 * Also on the card, Mr. Kennedy, Kurt Angle and Daivari beat Stevie Richards and MNM, with Kurt Angle getting Nitro in the Ankle Lock.
 * In gossip news, Daizee Haze and Mitch Franklin, both wrestling for Ring of Honor, are dating together! We wish the couple good luck.
 * As for injuries, Ryan Eagles of Riot City Wrestling suffered a nerve entrapment of the elbow, leaving him out of action for six months. And Athena, of Women Superstars Uncensored and Florida Championship Wrestling, tore her shoulder blade and she'll be out six months as well.
 * Hirotaka Yokoi has officially left to train for his MMA fight! Luckily, he is not contracted to any wrestling promotion right now so he can concentrate on his current passion.
 * There have been quite a few walk-outs during this half of the week.
 * Orlando Jordan quits IWA Mid-South
 * Boris Alexiev quits OVW
 * Damian quits IWA Puerto Rico after being denied a paycheck
 * Jason Temple bails on Border City Wrestling
 * Mitch Blake bails on Windy City Pro Wrestling
 * A faction in DDT, The Italian Four Horsemen, has finally split up after several years, to move on to solo careers.
 * At the end of the year, a few broadcasting contracts have ended. WWE Smackdown has ended on Canadian network The Score, AAA Sin Limite has ended on Galavision, and TNA is no longer showing its pay-per-views on DirectTV.
 * This week on NOAH Di Colosseo, Naomichi Marufuji and Minoru Suzuki defeat Yoshihiro Takayama and Akira Taue, with Suzuki having the standout performance.

Year-End Awards

 * Wrestler of the year goes to Chris Jericho for his consistently amazing performances all year, especially when teamed with Batista.
 * Company of the year has gone to New Japan Pro Wrestling. Their greatest match this year was on an episode of World Pro-Wrestling, where Brock Lesnar and Hiroshi Tanahashi beat Katsuyori Shibata and Yuji Nagata of DASH DASH DASH.
 * Tag Team of the year has gone to Rob Van Dam and Rey Mysterio, with their standout match being a ladder match against Chris Jericho and Batista on Raw.
 * Match of the year has been awarded to a match on WWE Raw where Chris Jericho and Batista defeated Mark Henry and John Cena.
 * Show of the year has been awarded to Survivor Series 2007, especially its main event, Batista vs. Mark Henry vs. Jericho.
 * Chris Masters has been awarded Young Wrestler of the year, with his best match being a wild brawl with John Cena on Raw.
 * Veteran Wrestler of the year is Akira Taue. His best match, airing on NOAH Di Colosseo, was him and Naomichi Marufuji suffering a loss to Minoru Suzuki and Katsuhiko Nakajima.
 * Yoshiko Tamura has won the coveted Female Wrestler of the year award. Her best match was a win against Manami Toyota and Mayumi Ozaki on OZ Academy.
 * Most Improved Company of the year has gone to Ring of Honor. They have had a great year, and their best match was Low-Ki defeating Nigel McGuinness for the Pure title.
 * Independent Wrestler of the year is Aja Kong. Her standout match was a defense of her OZ Universal title against Manami Toyota on OZ Academy.
 * Manager/Personality of the year has gone to Johnathan Coachman, who always gets a laugh on Raw with his weaselly peronality.
 * Kintaro Hirakawa has been given Announcer of the year for his work on Zero1-Max and OZ Academy.
 * Color Commentator of the year has been awarded to Paul Heyman, who currently sits beside Jim Ross on Raw.
 * Referee of the year is Rafa El Maya, currently working for CMLL and Toryumon Mexico.

Inside Empty High School Gymnasium...
{Inside Empty High School Gymnasium, the Free Country gang gather as Haysi makes another anouncement}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {looking around} Huh? Where's Torrie?

STRONG BAD: Oh, you know. Those human types got "obligations" and "families" to go to. Crappy stuff like that.

BUBS: Not everybody can live here like us.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {sing-songy} Sleepin' on the merch table, oh, the keychains are kinda pointy!

MARZIPAN: Hush, Haysi is speaking.

HAYSI: Cats and kittens, the time has come to bring in more fresh blood to mold into bizarro, bombastic attractions that will make the crowd go bizonkers!

THE KNIGHT: ..."Bizonkers"?

HAYSI: Shut up, it's cool. Please welcome Steve Madison, the "Modern Miracle"!

{Steve stands out from the crowd and waves}

STEVE MADISON: Ready for action. Try and keep up.

HAYSI: He's fit and trim and got amazing technical wrestling skills. I know he doesn't have the name recognition but I see something special about him.

STRONG BAD: More jobbers then?

HAYSI: No, I got some special plans for him.

SEÑOR: Ooh! A pet project!

HAYSI: Next guy, is named Chad Collyer, also goes by Chad Malenko...

CHAD COLLYER: {holds his arm up} Hi.

HAYSI: He's an extremely straight-laced and professional ring technician. He cost me a buncha money, so I'll be using him in big matches right away.

HOMSAR: AaAaA, how's his verdant pasturage, Blossom?

CHAD: Eh?

HAYSI: You better get used to him, you'll be seeing a lot more of him.

CHAD: This crew better have some serious competitors or I'm out.

HAYSI: Oh, we are.

STRONG MAD: I'M A SERIOUS GUY!

HAYSI: Right on!

STEVE: When is the next event?

HAYSI: First Sunday of next month.

STEVE: Good to hear.

HAYSI: With our mix of real and wild, 80's interview style, truly surreal moves and wise men speaking truths! I'm in the zone, baby!

HOMESTAR: Speak that truth!

{The Poopsmith has his fist up}

HAYSI: See you both at the house show!

*AWMPSCE has hired Chad Collyer and Steve Madison.*

Later, in Haysi's office...
{In Haysi Fantayzee's office...}

HAYSI: {reading papers} Phew boy...

{The Poopsmith knocks and enters}

HAYSI: Boss man?

{The Poopsmith approaches and looks down at the papers}

HAYSI: Oh, you're interested in these?

THE POOPSMITH: {folds his arms}

HAYSI: Our finances, right... This month we... lost 782 dollars.

THE POOPSMITH: {mimes a sigh}

HAYSI: It's not that bad, right? It's chump change. I can pay it outta my own pocket, see?

THE POOPSMITH: {nods}

HAYSI: Right! No need to be disappointed in me!

{The Poopsmith exits}

HAYSI: Oh man. He sure got serious ever since being given a position of power.

*Minor failure: AWMPSCE ends the month with a $782 deficit.*