Broternal Order Of Different Helmets/BoardTernal Order/Commercial

{Cut to the Pillquarters.}

HONSTLAR: {badly acting sad} I'm bored...



SRMX12: {badly acting sad} I'm suffering from a severe lack of board game-age. I may need to be hospitalized.

ANNOUNCER: Not no more!

{Everyone looks around in confusion to find where the voice is coming from.}

ANNOUNCER: Introducting the new board game from Boardelectrix, BoardTernal Order!

{The board appears on the table.}



ANNOUNCER: It's the new board game from Boardelectrix, BoardTernal Order!

ZASCUB: Cool, a board game. What's it called?

ANNOUNCER: It's the new board game from Boardelectrix, BoardTernal Order!

STOM: Yeah, but who was it made by?

ANNOUNCER: It's the new board game from Boarde— nevermind. Let's move on.

{Cut to the board.}

ANNOUNCER: BoardTernal Order is a game where YOU can control a member of the BODH! Pick a card! Collect helmets! Recruit members!

{Cut to the characters hopping around on the board.}



HONSTLAR: Not likely. I've got the most helmets!

SRMX12: I'm about to get the Golden Fedora! Just you wait!

ANNOUNCER: But watch out, because Grindolo is trying to foil your plans!

{Grindolo poofs onto the board.}

GRINDOLO: What am I doing here?

ANNOUNCER: Whoever has recruited the most members is the winner in this competitive game for 2-12 players.

GRINDOLO: But listen, if you only have two players, I won't be here. It breaks the game.

ANNOUNCER: With like a jillion types of cards and tokens, you might expect to pay five million dollars for this incredible game.



ANNOUNCER: I— I was going to say it's free.

So I don't get paid?

ANNOUNCER: Nope. Just download the documents and print away! Watch this actual gameplay footage!

{Cut to the characters gathered around the Pillquarters with the game set up, speaking in poorly-acted monotone.}

I choose to get one. {takes a token from the bank}

HONSTLAR: Now you must... what's my line? Move.

Thanks to my B-Team card... {reads card} "Dean's Adding Machine", I get to add one move, which means I have 11. What fun.

{Gfd moves his piece over to Stinkoman's space.}

{puts his tokens in the bank and draws Stinkoman's card} Stinkoman's character card lets me fly to any space. I'll move over here. ''{moves his piece to the other side of the board; turns his character card sideways to show that it has been used}''

HONSTLAR: My turn. But since I'm trapped in Castle Grindolo, I must move Grindolo.

{Honstlar rolls the dice and moves Grindolo over to Coach E's space.}

COACH E: Oh, the horror. Now I am Grindolo. {moves her piece to Castle Grindolo}

HONSTLAR: Now I am free. {moves his piece to the Pillquarters}

{Pause.}

HONSTLAR: Is that a wrap?

{Cut back to the board.}

ANNOUNCER: But that's not all! For the price of $0.00, you also get two additional features: customizations and minigames!

{Cut to the characters sitting around the board, acting poorly.}

HONSTLAR: Man, it would be so cool if Grindolo was some different character.

What that number is, I don't know. But it's definitely a number.

HONSTLAR: Oh the joy. What else can we do with these pieces?



HONSTLAR: That is the greatest thing I have ever heard with my ears.

{awkward pause} Yes.

{Cut to a shot of the board.}

ANNOUNCER: BoardTernal Order! Print it out for free when it releases... erm... uh, hold on... lemme think...



HONSTLAR: That is a day, so sure, I'd call it that.

''{Cut to a splash screen with the board, game pieces, $0.00 price tag, and Decembruary 32nd, 3058 release date below. Fade out.}''