Broternal Order Of Different Helmets/The Somewhat Edible Adventures of Gfdgsgxgzgdrc

{Open on a sunrise next to Gfd's house} {offscreen} This is a story about my best friend and cousin, Gfd. He may not be that smart, but he has a big heart... {Cut to Gfd in his kitchen eating a giant plate of pancakes} ...and a big stomach. That was some grooooood pancakes. Let's see what else I can eat today... {Wipe to Bubs' Concession Stand} Howdy, blue man! Hey there, other blue man! You got any food-style items? All kinds, I got dry food, wet food, damp food, fruit food, potato food, space food, sliced crayon and seasoned cement food... Well then, I'll take dry food, wet food, damp food, fruit food, potato food, space food, sliced crayon and seasoned cement food. So, everything we have in stock? Every last crumb. I knew you'd order that. So I put all my foodstuffs in a truck in the back! Thanks, Bubsness! {Gfd walks around the stand and gets in the truck} {to himself} I've never driven before, but it can't be too complicated, right? {Cut to Honstlar and his fish Boobtube watching TV in his house} Wait for it... {Bonking noises} {laughing} THAT GUY GOT HIT IN THE HEAD WITH 50 COCONUTS! {The truck crashes in} Whoops. {Gfd smashes into a building and knocks it over} Oh dear. {Gfd turns around, only to bump into another building, causing the whole city to collapse like dominos} I gotta get outta here!! {He drives as fast as he can, only to send himself flying off a cliff. The screen dims.} NARRATOR: Will Gfdgsrxgwhatever make it out of this situasche? {a question mark appears over the screen} Tune in right now to find out! {Cut to the truck at the bottom, completely intact} How is that thing not obliterated?! That's it. I'm never driving again. {starts climbing the cliff} {Cut to the top of the cliff. Gfd climbs onto it, exhausted.} {looks toward the camera} Uh oh. {Cut to a reverse shot from Gfd's point of view, looking at the city, demolished in fiery ruin} That's not very great. {Honstlar appears flying with his helmet's propeller} What have you done? I've broken the universe. {pause} No, not the universe, just the city. I don't seem to recall Free Country, USA having so many buildings. I think I drove out of Free Country and into New Prance City. POLICE OFFICER: FREEZE! Here's an idea, RUN!! {Gfd runs} I'm gonna make it! I'm gonna make it!! {Cut to Gfd in jail. The door slams shut.} I didn't make it!!! Ahem. (Pan to Honstlar in a prison uniform) What the—?! Excuse me, Jailm'n... GUARD: What is it, city destroyer? May I ask, why is Honstlar in here? He didn't do anything wrong. GUARD: He was found near the scene of the crime. Research showed he was your "Supreme Overlord". He must have told you to destroy New Prance City. That's a five-thousand-year sentence. FIVE THOUSAND?!?!?! I won't even live that long!! GUARD: That's the law, evil overlord. You won't leave this cell for another five millenia. How about a deal? You free us, in exchange for... {takes his hat off and looks into it} five grilled cheese sandwiches. GUARD: Absolutely not. Tell you what. I'll throw in a half-eaten, seventy-six-year-old sock... and an empty bottle of mustard. (Pause.) Guard: Deal. (Cut to Honstlar and Gfd walking out of the prison.) I told you prison guards will do anything for cheese. You're a genius, Garbles! I sure am. {They approach the jail door, which is guarded} GUARD 2: Excuse me, who are you? Jacques G. Fernández III, PhD. And this is my associate— What? No, you're Honstlar Waddler. And I'm Gfdgsgxgzgdgfgzg...g... Garbles. GUARD 2: Ah, the five thousand year-ers. Who gave you the authority to leave? I believe his name was Guard Jones. He let us go on the count of cheese. GUARD 2: Makes sense. Have a nice life. {opens the door} {Honstlar and Gfd walk outside} Ah! I haven't breathed fresh air in a long time. What was it, like an hour ago? Yep. Ahhh... it's nice to finally be free. What should we do now? I don't know, try to eat a skyscraper? Cover Kyoto in ketchup, whatever you normally do. Eat a skyscraper? Yeah, but I do that every day, and... WAIT. What if... I can eat New Prance City back to normal? That's ingenious! {They look at the ruins of New Prance City} That's a lotta destruction. It'll take a while to eat it all. But... how can you possibly eat something back to normal? Cuz', you're underestimating my eating abilities. (Gfd pulls out the Garby Orb) {...and eats it, transforming him into Garby} Now I just need to eat a good skyscraper-repairman. And I know juuust the guy... {Cut to Bubs in his concession stand} (Singing) Doo-do-do-do-doo, I'm not digested, doo-do-do- {jumps in front of the stand} Ah-HA! Bwah!! Uh— salsa-filled pants! Bubs, I'm not asking you to inspire me. I'm just going to eat you. Oh thank goshness, that's a relie— wait what?! {devours Bubs and turns into him} Now to go fix up that city! {walks offscreen} {Cut back to New Prance City} So, Bubs-Kirby-Garbles, how we gonna fix dis? We'll start at the tip, and work our way to the tup! Wow, you really are Bubs. You know it! Now let's start fixin'! {Garbubs gets out his fixing supplies and starts hammering nails into one of the fallen buildings} {Fade to the same place at night. It looks completely the same, except one of the buildings is slightly less destroyed-looking. Garbubs is exhausted and still working.} {wheezing} I... thought Bubs would be... faster than this. Yeah, you'd think so, but you're forgetting one thing: he's Bubs. Not some super-fixer-man. Super fixer man... Honstlar! You're a genius! I'm a what now? {spitting out Bubs and turning back into himself} 'Scuse me a moment. I have an arcade machine to break. {runs off} {Cut to a slow zoom-in of the exterior of Strong Bad's house at night. Cut to Gfd and Honstlar in burglar costumes outside the door.} So, uh, how should we get in here? And why should we get in here? You'll see. No, but seriously, how do we get in here? Just knock on the door. {knock knock} {whispering} AHHH! What are you doing?! You're going to get us caught!! {Cut to Strong Bad walking across the hallway, sleepily, to open the door. Cut to a close-up of his hand on the knob. He turns it... opens the door... and...} SB undefined Aw man, no one here. Must've been some pranksters or squirrels or something. {slams door closed} {Cut to Gfd and Honstlar in the basement} See? That distracted him, so he didn't even notice us come in through the window! So, we found the arcade-a-machine. What do we do now? {gets out a pipe} This! {smashes the arcade machine to bits with the pipe} GFD!! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! HAVE YOU GONE CRAZY?! I'm afraid not, my dear Waddler. This is going exactly as planned... But... but you broke it! Why?! That'll be so expensive for Strong Bad to fix! Look, you even broke the fan! Did I, though? {The arcade machine turns into Trogdor as his theme begins} AAAHHH! GFD, WHAT HAVE YOU DONE? I'm fixing New Prance City, of course. I've fought Trogdor too many times! I can't bear to do it again! D'worry, we don't gots to fight him. We just gots to get some logic in him! I don't think dragons' minds are capable of processing much "logic"... They just want to burninate everything. That's what you think. {gets out a logic board} A logic board? I don't think you should be messing with that, considering your history with radiation. That's the point! {swallows a jar of glowing chemicals} Isn't that dangerous? I'm Gfd, remember? I've eaten worse. {inserts the logic board into the Trogdor machine} {The screen flashes white} {Strong Bad walks down the stairs} SB undefined {yawn} Oh man. I just heard this big explosion. What happened down here? I'ma check it ou— WAH! What are you guys doin' in here?! Uh oh. Now's our time to leave. {Gfd and Honstlar run away, breaking a hole in the wall. Cut to them running in The Field, alongside pixelated areas and video game characters.} What happened to Free Country, USA? Did you just break two cities? Quite the opposite, acktchly. You seem so confident and unworried about all this. It's making me nervous. {They arrive at The Poopsmith's pile. He is wearing a pixelated hard hat.} Excuse me, Mista Fixit, but, uh... {whispering to Honstlar} help me out here, how do I say it? Excuse me, Mista Fixit, but Gfd here just broke an entire city. PS undefined {holds up a sign reading "An entire city?! How is that even possible?"} Turns out, New Prance City buildings aren't very stable. They can be knocked over by a simple truck. And in unrelated news, Bubs should never trust me to drive a truck again. So, since the city is broke... we needed someone to fix it. And we immediately thought of you! PS undefined {smiles} Would you like to come with us and fix a whole bunch of fallen buildings? {Mista Fixit disappears, and a pixelated message reading "MISTA FIXIT HAS JOINED YOUR PARTY" appears} Wah! Where'd he go? He's in our party now. What does that mean exactly? Like... where is he? You know, it's like he's in our inventory. All the things we have and can use at any time, without actually having them or carrying them around. I have a lifetime's supply of chocolate bars in my inventory right now! {pulls a pixelated chocolate bar out of nowhere and eats it} {Wipe to New Prance City. Gfd and Honstlar arrive.} Fix it, Fixit! {Mista Fixit appears and starts repairing the buildings} It's working! {Eventually, the city is restored to how it used to be} Whoa, look! He even fixed all the people who died in that horrific accident! Everyone's alive and well! New Prance City is exactly the same as it used to be! That man's fixin' powers are truly incredible. {Mista Fixit walks up to Gfd} So I guess you're done, huh? You can go back to... whatever game you came from. PS undefined {shakes his head and holds up a sign that reads "$$$$$$$$$$$"} Daw, crap! (Cut to the two in a bank.) 'Scuse me, bankm'n. I need moneys. And fast! BANKM'N: No can do, I'm 'fraid. Aw man. What do we do now? How do we pay that fix-'em-up man? Nothin'. We have no options right now. We'll just spend the rest of our lives in severe debt. {Gfd and Honstlar sit down sadly. They think. Suddenly, Gfd jumps up with an idea.} Hey, wait a second. Remember when I merged the real world and the video game world? A few minutes ago? Yeah, of course. I never undid that, so the world is still merged with video games! Is that bad? No, it's good! What are the things you find most often in video games? Power-ups? Close. Mushrooms? Not quite! COINS! Ding-o! We'll go on a wild goose hunt to find all the coins in Free Country, USA, and use that to pay Mista Fixit! Of course! And since he's a video game-type character, he'll probably accept video game currency! Let's away! {They leave the bank} {Montage music plays. Gfd and Honstlar prance around the Field. Gfd approaches Bubs' Stand.} Ooh, there's probably a cavalcade of coins hidden in these bricks! {gets out a pixelated bomb and blows up the stand, revealing lots of coins} Ooh! Sweet dollars! {jumps around, collecting coins} WHAT DID YOU—?! THAT WAS MY STAND! YOU'RE STEALIN' MY LIFE'S SAVINS, MAN!! Relax. You'll get it back when I get rid of this video gameyness. {turning red} JH—!! DGB— I J— HCK—! B—?! {angry stuttering; walks back and forth in a predictable pattern} Uh oh. An enemy. {shoots a fireball at Bubs} {Bubs leaps up and falls off the bottom of the screen} Ooh yay, I got 6000 points! {Cut to Honstlar below a levitating pixelated rainbow box with an exclamation mark on it} Hey, check this out! A box floating in midair! That's gotta have somethin'! {Gfd walks over. Honstlar hits the box with his head, and a pixelated glowing orb pops out.} Ow. Jeez, how do video game characters hit these things so often without getting a splitting migraine? {walks over to orb and gets a pixelated jetpack} Whoa! I can fly! You could fly before. You have a propeller cap, remember? Yeah, but check this out! {flies all over the screen} Can't do that with a propeller cap! Look how cool it looks! It does look pretty cool. {walks away} I'ma check out— {appears to bump into something, knocking him back} D'OOF! {A block becomes visible in front of Gfd} OW! Video games are dangerous! {sits up} Oh, an invisible block, huh? Well, taste my invisible fists! {he kicks the block, causing a ladder to rise up} Would ya look at that. It's a ladder to the skies! {blasts upward} Oh, come on! You can already fly with your propeller. Can't you give me the jetpack? {starts climbing ladder} 'Course I'm the one who has to use the ladder. Grumbledy grumble. {Cut to the top. The ladder stops at a cloud platform. Honstlar is smiling energetically, as Gfd slowly climbs, exhausted.} I... {gasp} I made it. Any coins? Nope! Just a minigame. Let's try it out! Okay! (A giant blue version of Dooble's head appears.) Haloshe! Dooble! My favorite ambiguous relative! How's things been, man? I spew at you! Have at it, Josephine! {spits a fireball at Gfd, hitting him} Ow! My health points! What was that for? Twice up, mister! Work those thumbs! I'm not paid to get any younger! {spits a bunch of fireballs and coins} Okay, from the looks of it, we need to avoid the fireballs and collect the coins. {rapidly getting hit by fireballs} Wait, really? I thought it was the other way around. {a short tune plays as he falls off the screen} {looks around frantically} No! Gfd! Don't you have any extra lives? This is no walkabound! This is serious taskmanship! Look, I'm trying, okay? I have to say you're not exactly making this minigame any easier. Ptoo! Ptow! Pwah! {expertly jumping and dodging} Whoa, Dooble, calm down! Too many fireballs, man! {The text "YOU WIN" blinks on the screen} Hey, I survived! 1000 points! {jumps off the platform, onto the ground} I am not doing that minigame ever again. Hey! Gfd! You're not dead! What gives? I had an extra life. Now let's keep coin-hunting! {Dooble falls from up above, looking completely normal} You look to need of service! Dooble! Hey, why aren't you a floaty blue head no mores? Maybe it's only when he's in the minigame. That makes sense. Hey, he should come along with us! He's a video game. He prolly knows tons of stuff about collecting coins! That I do! {holds up a round fruit} Harken the sounds of this cantaloupe! {holds it to his ear} {slowly leaning back} Uh... yeah. That's a... a great idea, Dooble. See? The guy's a natural! (Cut to an 8-Bit map where we see a red line going from a spot labeled "LEVEL 1" to a spot labeled "LEVEL 2") {Cut to the trio in a pixelated land of snow.} Good ol' ice level. An integral part of all video gamery. Check out these slippery platforms! {slides around} Look! Penguins! Aww. {walking toward the penguins} Look at the little— {touches a penguin and flashes red for a moment} OW! I just touched it, and it hurt me somehow! It didn't even bite me or anything! Yeah, that's how video game enemies work. Since when are penguins enemies? What do they have against video game protagonists? Take that, you evil beings! {jumps on a penguin and collects a coin} Hey, I killed it and got a coin! Sweet! Gfd, no! Did you just kill an innocent penguin?! A video game enemy penguin. What did it ever do to you? It made me lose one health point. I mean... uh, besides that. Well, the game gave me a coin, so it must've been a good thing. This game rewards you for brutally beating innocent creatures? Yeah! Cool, right? Yep! Collecting coins will be easier than ever! {sees a tunnel underground} Whoa! A secret underground tunnel! You know what this means, don't you? No. A secret chasm filled with coins and power-ups! Ooh! Well, in that case... {Gfd and Honstlar jump in the tunnel, revealing a small cave filled with coins} Coins! Coins galore! {They run around collecting the coins} Hey, 100 coins. I got an extra life! Well, that's all of 'ems. Now let's get back up to the level. {They crawl up the tunnel, back to the ice} GASP... wheeze... cough. Climbing up a vertical tunnel is harder than it looks. The games make it look so easy... Oh good, a checkpoint! {touches the checkpoint and saves} Now my game is saved. If I die, I'll come back right here! Awesome! Let me do that! {runs to touch the checkpoint, but slips on the ice and falls down a pit} Oh wait no no waaaAAAAHHHhhhh... {Cut to the first level. Gfd appears at the beginning.} CRUEL IRONYYY!! French Narrator: Several mans later... {Cut to a pixelated desert} I... {wheeze} I... made it. I finally... {gasp} caught up with you. Nice work! You made it to level 3 in such a short time. You oughta do speedruns! (Cut to TurchKid03 getting up from bed.) TurchKid03: Oh my word! I sense a disturbance in the seasoned corn force. TURCHKID03: {looks out the window} Huh. The world's merged with video games. Weird. {looks at his computer and sees "GFD0001" and "HONSTLARW" in the highscore menu} Gasp! Someone's broken all my speedrun records!! WHO HAS DONE THIS?! I'll get those cheaters if it's the last thing I do! Computer! Boot up program "Dooble 2"! {pause} Oh right. My computer doesn't have voice command. {goes to the desktop and clicks a "Dooble 2" icon} {Cut back to Gfd, Honstlar, and Dooble in the pixelated desert} Man, the boss fight with that sphinx was intense! I know! What do you think, Dooble? I thought it was a twice chance! Paste it away, and you can— {turns into his pixelated form and runs offscreen} What the?! How did he do that? Maybe someone is playing his game! He's been possessed by a Dooble 2 player! {Cut to Turchkid03's screen, speedrunning with Dooble} TURCHKID03: Oh my word, you guys... I have no idea what game this is. I guess Dooble escaped his game or something. Hey, I'd recognize that pizza face from a mile away, It's that Turchkid kid! He must be doing one of his speedruns! Come on, we have to beat him! What? Why? He's going to beat our speedrun record! If we win this level with the best record, we get a hundred coins! Why didn't you mention that earlier?! I was thinking about pancakes. Let's go! {They runninate across the countryside, runninating over platforms, runninating all the enemies, and their glowy POWER-UPS} TURCHKID03: Oh my word. That purple midget and the hungry blue guy are catching up fast. I gotta speed it up. There's the finish line! We're almost theeere! PAUSE Hey, what's the big deal, Jerkchkid! You're not the only one allowed to have high scores. TURCHKID03: Yes, I am. I've been the top speedrunner in Dooble 2 for almost two years! But... this isn't Dooble 2. TURCHKID03: Oh, right. What game is this, then? It's the real world. It's been merged with video games. TURCHKID03: Oh. Oh, okay. Nevermind. I guess I don't have to get my speedrun record back. Now can you please unpause this so we can move again? My legs are falling asleep. TURCHKID03: Yeah, yeah, sure thing. {unpauses} {Honstlar and Gfd cross the finish line} WE DID IT! {turns back into his non-pixelated self} Hooraysche! {They get 100 coins} How many do we have now? {looks up at the coin number} We have a combined total of 319. Aw man, that's not even a fraction of the price Mista Fixit wanted! We need to speed up our process. But how? Have you ever heard of the Ultimate Power Crunch? Yeah, no. Legend says there's a power-up at the end of Stinkoman 20X6 level 10 that gives you infinite coins! But that level's not finished yet. So what? We'll finish it! Now let's get inside that game. But how? I picked up a warp tunnel power up earlier. {a pixelated tunnel appears} Now might be a good time to use it. {They crawl inside the tunnel. Cut to the inside of a blueish stone castle. Skeleton-like enemies roam the halls. Gfd and Honstlar come out of a tunnel.} Well, here we are. Stinkoman 20X6, level 10. SKULLM'N: Hey! Whatchoo fellas doin' back 'ere? Dis level's not open to da public fer anudda several days at least! Move over, Skullm'n. We have bigger fish to fry. {fries a rather large fish} SKULLM'N: How'dya know my name? It says it before all your lines in this transcript. SKULLM'N: Yeh, fergat about dat. Anyways, yer not authorized on these premises! We have come to find the Ultimate Power Crunch. We're getting to it, with or without your approval. So I suggest you step aside. SKULLM'N: Whoa, dat sounded real cool. Yeah, sure, whatever. I don't get paid much fer dis job anyways. {steps aside} {Gfd and Honstlar walk past him} SKULLM'N: Good luck witchaselves. Be sure to give me some a da profits! Since I did kinda help ya get to the Powa Crunch an' all dat. I'd ask fer at least 20 quintillion dollas. {They get to a precarious-looking platform made of cracking wood and tape} Looks like this part's not finished being built yet. We'd best be cautious. {steps on a skull platform that cracks} You're right! This platform is almost breaking! I think that's the point. Step a few more times and see what happens! {Gfd stomps on it until the platform breaks, and the two tumble down to a new area} THURGOOD EACH: Buh? Whuh you fellas doing in restricted area? No one allow here! We're getting the Ultimate Power Crunch, Thurgood Each. So I kindly suggest you step to the side. THURGOOD EACH: Buh huh? How you know Thurgood Each name? {holds up a book} An illegal copy of the updated Stinkomanual. I found it by the entrance. THURGOOD EACH: Thurgood Each have orders. Not let people to crunch. Sorry, but you have leave. {spits out wind-up skulls} Argh! Rightades! You got any fireballs or anything? Nope at all! How are we s'posed to finish this level without any cool video game powers? Allow me to insist! Oh, right, Dooble. Forgot you were here. Hey, you're a video game character. Could you shoot this Each? If you assist. But don't twice around... this could get chalky! THURGOOD EACH: Buh huh whuh? {Dooble shoots a fireball at Thurgood Each} THURGOOD EACH: Hey! That against rule! Not allow to fire employees. Come on, Doobs! Just a couple more times. I'ms think to chance it! {shoots another fireball} THURGOOD EACH: Oof! Thurgood regret all life choices! One more time! {Dooble shoots one more fireball at Thurgood Each, blowing him up} Great! Now let's go! {They continue to find... nothing} Great. There are no platforms here yet. Now what do we do? I guess this level hasn't been programmed fully. {pops up from the floor} Did someone say programmed? SRMX12?! What are you doing in level 10? Videlectrix hired me. I'm coding part of it. Did I never mention that? Well, of course I didn't, it's supposed to be a secret. Oh wait. Oops. We need to cross this chasm to find the Ultimate Power-style-Crunch. Can you code some plat-style-forms? Only if you stop putting "style" in the middle of words. O-style-kay. {tappity type type} Now, I'm coding pretty fast, so the platforms may be highly unstable, and there's a good chance you'll fall to your doom. But give it a try and see. {Black platforms with glowy green outlines appear over the pit, with green binary inside them} So we just hop over to the Crunch? Indeed. Well, here goes nothing. 'Cept, you know, our lives. That's kinda something. Fine. Here goes something. {jumps} {Honstlar, Gfd, and Dooble jump onto the platforms} Hey, they work. {Jumps onto another platform, but passes right through it.} AAAAAAAAA-- {Respawns on the platform he jumped from.} --AA--what? It works! I just coded an edge-fall respawn feature, so you only lose one health bar if you fall! You coulda said that earlier. {They continue hopping across platforms} You comin' with us, Serms? Well, I don't know... I have to keep coding. It's my job. But Ultimate Power Crunch! I— I can't— I gotta— mmph— rrgh— I ACCEPT! {SRMX12 races across the platforms and collects the Power Crunch} YES! WE DID IT! INFINITE COINS! BUFFALO CHOWDER! (Cut to Turchkid surrounded by bags of Oh My Word chips.) Turchkid03: SEASONED CORN CHIPS!! (Cut back to SRMX12 with the Power Crunch.) So, uh, why were you guys looking for this anyway? What were you planning on doing with it? Oh. Uh... this plot got so sidetracked, I kinda forgot. Weren't we gonna pay Mista Fixit for fixing that city you broke? Right! That's it! {Wipe to Mista Fixit, still standing in the middle of the city, bored. The four walk in.} {hands Mista Fixit a wad of bills} Here's your eleven dollar signs, Fixit! PS undefined {gives a thumbs-up and disappears, along with all other video game objects} Well, we paid the guy... but we didn't lose anything. Since this stuff's infinite, we still have as much as before. Oh, right. We can do whatever we want with this stuff!! That give me an idea... (Surf music starts playing, as we cut to Honstlar, Gfd and Dooble surfing on a wave of money.) SO MUCH BILLS!! MY FACE IS OF GREEN! {Cut to Gfd walking up to Bubs' Concession Stand} Hey, Bubs. I'll buy fifty thousand more food trucks. You got it! {Cut to Honstlar watching as the Pillquarters gets renovated into a gold-plated mansion} You guys done yet? CONSTRUCTION WORKER: Almost. We're pouring the melted gold on all the tables right now. Well, I'll give you ten billion more dollars if you finish within the next fifteen milliseconds. CONSTRUCTION WORKER: It shall be done! {Cut to Gfd walking into the King of Town's castle} Hi, I'd like to buy the town. {hands him some dollars} I'm set for life!! {The montage ends. Cut to Gfd, Honstlar, Dooble, and SRMX12 standing in the gold-coated Pillmansion, wearing crowns, fancy robes, gold jewelry, and sunglasses.} Sure is nice being infinitely rich, and leader of the planet, and such. Uh, hey guys... how much did you pay to renovate the Pillquarters? It cost a billion dollars, but I was generous and gave them 173 septillion instead. I mean, it's not like we're ever gonna run out of money. What about the town? I paid googol dollars for it. And all those food trucks in the basement? I paid them Graham's number dollars. And I paid TREE(3) dollars for Mars. The planet, not the chocolate. But yeah, also the chocolate. {starting to sound concerned} Any other large purchases I should know about? Why does it matter how much we spend? We have infinity! We'll never run out. Just tell me. Well, I've been handing jillion-ferzillion dollar bills to random people on the street. 'Cause why not? It'll make no difference to us. {worried} How many people? Everybody! Everybody! ...And by that I mean, yeah, pretty much everyone I know. NOOOO! Why "no"? I keep telling you we won't run out of money. Yeah, but neither will they. Pardon? Applesauce? Right now, we have infinite money, so currency is essentially meaningless to us, right? Everything's free, basically. Yeah. If you make everyone as rich as us, the same will be true for them! They can buy anything they want! Prices will skyrocket! In five minutes, a single loaf of bread might be worth a trillion dollars! In time, all concept of value will become meaningless to everyone around the world, and without prices or relative values, the planet and its citizens will descend into violent chaos! The world as we know it will end! What have you done? But we can still stop it, right? Maybe. I assume the damage isn't too bad right now, so we might be able to— {A meteor crashes into the Pillmansion, decimating it. The four stand up from its ruins to find the sky has turned red and the citizens of Free Country, USA have become crazed and maniacal, beating each other up over scraps of garbage.} Nevermind. We're doomed. {They walk over to Bubs burning piles of money} Bubs! Those are semptillion-krillion dollar bills! What are you doing?! Haven't you heard?! It ain't worth nothin' no more! Nothin's worth anything! But how will you survive? Like this! {steals Gfd's hat and runs away} HEY!! That gazmillionaire just stole my precious hat! I had fifty tubes of pineapple-flavored ointment all up in there! And a length of twine! You see what I mean? Your hat is simultaneously worth nothing, and everything! It has no value, yet everyone needs it! You've broke all the rules we've built and established over thousands of generations! Now what do we do? Just live in a crime-ridden, insanity-filled, unstable, valueless apocalypse for the rest of our lives? Yes. Unless... What? To the thyme machine! {They run to the decimated Pillmansion to find SRMX12's Pixstar Runner cardboard thyme machine} Yes! Now we can finally restore the world to its former— {The King of Town runs by and steals it. Strong Bad steals it back, and the two fight over it until it rips in half.} Nooo! That time/space-continuum-channeling four-dimensional-cardboard-alloy took me years to program! Is there any other way we can time travel? We might be able to use the Game Boy in a blender. {A meteor hits it} Or that weird remote control thing from Helmet Quest. {A meteor hits that too} Well, that's it. We're doomed. You're right. Earth is in shambles. I might as well eat it up. That's it!! What? I should eat the Earth? Great! I do that all the time! No, no, no. Do your eating abilities have any limitations? Like, can you eat, for instance, intangible byproducts of reality? Oh, yeah, I can eat those. They taste like syrup. So... you can eat time?! Yeah. Why? Do it!! Um, okay. Like, a small bite, or a big bite? Doesn't matter! {Gfd takes a huge bite of the universe, and the background reverts back a few seconds. His hat appears back on his head.} IT WORKS!! I undid the acopolypse! Amazing! Can you do anything else with your time-eatery? Like, can you time travel or go to different timelines and stuff? I don't know, I haven't really tried. Whenever I eat time, it just erases the time I ate. Like the thing that just happened. What if you somehow ate time in a different way? Maybe if, instead of eating all of specific amount of time... I ate a hole through time so it wouldn't affect anything... we might be able to travel through the time hole into another time period! Brilliant! Try it out! Eat a hole in time! All right. {He takes a bite and the landscape changes slightly.} Hey, I think it worked! Did it work? Are we in the past? I didn't erase anything, did I? {typing} Nope! The present is still fully intact. We're a day the past! This means we can time travel to whenever we want! And you know what that means! Gfd and Honstlar and Dooble and SRMX12's Excellent Adventure! I was thinking Honstlar and Gfd and Dooble and SRMX12's Excellent Adventure, but that's good too. {Cut to the Order sitting at tables in the bar.} So, my dad says that it's like a tricycle, but with nineteen wheels instead of three. That sounds delicious! ORDER! ORDER! I hereby call this meeting of the BODH to order! {Present-day Gfd, Honstlar, SRMX12, and Dooble enter the room through a bite-shaped time portal.} So this is the past. Neat. PAST HONSTLAR: Bah! Who are these monstrosities? You take that back! We're you guys from the futuristic year of 2019! Wait, shouldn't this be causing some kind of paradox? Nope! Gfd is simply eating through the fabric of time, so this is a separate timeline than the one we originated from. So we can do whatever we want! I can finally see what I taste like! {eats his past self} Butter chicken! My flavorite! PAST HONSTLAR: That Garbles just ate our Garbles! This episode wasn't very interesting. Another! {Gfd chomps forward in time and steps into the Field, which has been Tappatok'd.} Whoa. When was this? I don't remember our planet turning white with Tappatok written all over everything. That's 'cause you were a robot. I told you all about this, remember? Oh, right. PAST HONSTLAR: So what do we do first? PAST GRINDOLO: Maybe we can infiltrate Tappatok headquarters, and see if we can shut down the system. PAST HONSTLAR: Good plan. How do we do that? PAST GRINDOLO: Here, I'll turn us invisible. Then they won't catch us. Yeah, that won't work. They can track your heatwave signatures. PAST GRINDOLO: Wait, what? Honstlar, you didn't tell me you survived twice. PAST HONSTLAR: Gfd, I thought you were a robit! Yeah, I probably was. Allow me to explain. We're merely tourists from the future. We mean you no harm. Or, like... very little harm. Not too much. PAST HONSTLAR: So, based on your presence here... we must've succeeded in the future, right? Can you tell us how to beat Tappatok? You need to ask to be assimilated. Polka music isn't their weakness, so don't bother trying. Instead, you need to trick the Cleanser Geek into entering the migration chamber... PAST GRINDOLO: Cleanser? She's alive too? Yeah, she's actually in charge of this whole thing. PAST GRINDOLO: Oh, I am so firing her. With their leader gone, the Tappatoks will go crazy and the system will start destroying the planet. You'll have a few minutes to get to the cyclocron or whatever it's called, press a few buttons, and turn everything back to normal. PAST HONSTLAR: Thanks. But shouldn't this be causing a paradox or something? Nah. We're from a different timeline, so 's fine. PAST HONSTLAR: Nice! Thanks. This is fun! Which episode should we go to next? I dunno. You choose. I can't decide. Surprise me. All right. Here we go! {Gfd chomps another hole in time and they disappear.} PAST HONSTLAR: That was weird. {Zoom out of a security camera. Cut to a Tappatok robot watching it. A hologram of the Cleanser Geek appears.} TAPPATOK #7256: Supreme Tappatok, I regret to inform you that the traitor and the ghost have been informed of future events by travellers from another timeline. This could lead to our downfall. Curious. Where are these timeline travellers now, #7256? TAPPATOK #7256: The blue one bit a hole in the four-dimensional spacetime fabric. I cannot detect their current location in time or space. They escaped through a hole, you say... TAPPATOK #7256: Affirmative. Excellent. Gather every last Tappatok. I have a new plan. TAPPATOK #7256: And what of the two traitors? Dispose of them. We have no need for more robots. We have everything we need already. {Cut to Gfd and friends arriving inside SRMX12's computer, where their past selves have morphed into Power Helmets and are fighting Dark Jimley Omega.} Hey, I remember this. Summon Pantso! > Pantso flies up and kicks Dark Jimley Omega in the head repeatedly. His health is now 572/650.

He spits out a riddle: The window to the soul is the weakest part of a vegetable. Hey, we've solved this riddle before. Anyone remember the answer? Wasn't it his eye? Try riding Beestburdin into his eye. HECTOR: Aw man! Riding Beestburdin into a ghostly end boss's evil eyeball has always been my dream! STEVENS: {trumpet noises} The future. KOVITCH: Oh. SUMMON BEESTBURDIN > You summon Beestburdin, hop on, and ride him at breakneck speed right into Dark Jimley Omega's twisted, evil eyeball, destroying it in a big, firey ball that's visible from space. His health is now -17/650. {The ghosts start disappearing, and everything returns to normal.} PAST GFD: Hey, you did it. Thanks, future me. So Dooble doesn't take all the credit in this timeline... all is right with the world. PAST EDITED VIDEO GREG: Feels like an anticlimactic deus ex machina to me. I mean, future selves from another timeline swooping in out of nowhere to save the day? So contrived. Oh, and I almost forgot... this was like a minute before I found out Dooble was related to me! PAST GFD: Wait, Dooble is related to me? Well, good luck with the rest of your timeline. We're going to a new episode. {Gfd chomps another spacetime hole and the present-day gang disappears.} PAST GFD: That was fun. So... what now? PAST HONSTLAR: I dunno. We could make Dooble a member of the B-Team, or... {The Cleanser Geek comes out of another spacetime hole followed by an army of Tappatoks.} PAST HONSTLAR: The Cleanser Geek? What are you doing here? And who are those weird talk bubble robots? This time period... belongs to Tappatok. {Ominous music begins as the past BODH are replaced with Tappatok robots and the surrounding area turns bland and white.} PAST HONSTLAR: All hail Tappatok. {Cut to the present-day gang as they teleport into a volcano.} When are we? What episode did you send us to this time? {The past BODH are fighting alongside Strong Badman to defeat superpowered versions of Grindolo and his minions.} Oh yeah, the Superium Orb thing. How did we beat these guys again? We got another Superium Orb to increase our superpowers, then we got two more Superium Orbs and made Duplicato reverse them into Anti-Superium Orbs, then they exploded and took away everyone's superpowers and made Grindolo's gang weaker. That is an overly convoluted plan. How'd we ever pull it off? Like this. Watch them. {Past Gfd speeds off with his superpowers, then reappears.} PAST GFD: I... {gasp} I just ran around the world... {wheeze} fifty times. PAST HONSTLAR: Why?! PAST GFD: To find this! {pulls out another Superium Orb} PAST SRMX12: Whoa! We're going to get DOUBLE superpowers? No, we are. {Present Gfd touches the orb and the present-day gang turns into their Helmet Squad counterparts.} Speedo has returned! And Flyguy! Eggs Plotion! Robonic! PAST GFD: Hey, you just ruined our plan! Yeah, but now we have superpowers! Come on, let's time travel again! Is it just me, or is this plot getting hard to keep track of? What's hard to keep track of? We're time travelling to all our previous episodes, and also we have our superpowers again, and also a bad guy from before has followed us through the timeline and spreading their influence throughout time and space. Wait, what? Oh, did I forget to mention? I saw Tappatok following us through the time portals earlier. {An army of Tappatok robots enter.} There they are now. It's okay, this is another timeline. Any changes Tappatok makes will not cause any paradoxical effects. {The Cleanser Geek steps out of the time portal.} Is that so? It is. I've done extensive research on the subject. As have I. Thanks to your time portals, I've already taken over the universe in not one, but three time periods. My army has increased several trillionfold. The more I convert to Tappatok, the faster I can take over each time period. We will follow you through time and space until you have nowhere else to go, and all of time and space is Tappatok. {The army begins transforming the landscape into Tappatok.} Make that four time periods. Uh oh. Gfd, take us somewhere else! Quick!! {Gfd chomps another hole in spacetime, and they end up in Helmet Quest.} Hey, look at that. It's our animated adventure. {Tappatok enters and takes over the universe. Gfd chomps into another time. Everyone in the Homestar Runner universe is fighting dark clones of themselves with glowy red eyes in an interdimensional battlefield of several universes.} What is this? This hasn't happened yet. Must've bitten into the future. {Tappatok enters and takes over the universe again. This time, the effect spreads throughout all universes.} Let us away from this madness! {Gfd continues chomping into different time periods, and Tappatok continues following after.} WHAT DO WE DO?! I— {chomp} DON'T— {chomp} KNOW!! {As they run through time, SRMX12 types at his computer.} Tappatok has infected the universe in 914 time periods. Now it's 1,096. It's growing exponentially. The more portals we open, the more territory Tappatok conquers. WHAT— {chomp} WE— {chomp} DO?! {chomp} If we stop, we'll become Tappified. If we keep going, they'll gain access to even more time. I'm afraid there's nothing we can do. {Grindolo runs next to them.} But there is something I can do. {Another Grindolo appears.} Me too. {More Grindolos appear.} We can help. We'll stop them. Don't worry about us. WHAT'S— {chomp} HAPP— {chomp} ENING?? {chomp} I just remembered, Grindolo is immune to Tappatok! He's teamed up with versions of himself from other time periods! Ding ding ding. I'm from September 4th, 2018. March 21st, 2021. August 17th, 2017. All right, Grindolos, on three. Ready? One... two... three! {The Grindolos use their power to create a force field around Gfd, Honstlar, SRMX12, and Dooble.} {chews and swallows} Phew. I never thought I'd get tired of eating, but here we are. They can't keep this shield up forever. What should we do? Gfd... if you bite a hole to our regular timeline, this alternate timeline should cease to exist after a while. But until then, the portal will remain open, and our world will be vulnerable to Tappatok's influence. We can't risk it. We should go to the pasture times and stamp on it! It's not that simple, Dooble. Tappatok has invaded thousands of times. If we want to stop them, we'll have to destroy millions of robots in each time period. Unless... What? We destroy the timeline. Gfd will eat the remaining time periods, and since Tappatok will never have existed, they'll disappear forever. What about all the people who live here? This timeline is merely what is known as a "potential reality". As such, it's not "real" in the way you and I are, and thus there is no real consciousness to destroy. So no one dies. Cool. Let's destroy the timeline! The only problem is... we'll be stranded outside of time. And without access to our timeline, we won't be able to go back. We'll be stuck in an endless void for eternity. That's great! I love eternity. {Gfd starts sucking up reality.} You'd better hurry. If all of these alternate timeline Grindolos can't keep this shield up, we'll be enslaved by Tappatok from all time periods. This plot is a jam of many flavors! Yeah, the story has gone a bit off the rails, hasn't it? {Eventually Gfd finishes chewing, leaving everyone in a white void.} What happened? I've consumed your timeline. Your Tappytalking robots can't take over the world now! This is merely a roadblock. We will find a way out of here, and when we do, all timelines will bow down to— {Some of the robots begin to vanish.} Hey, what are you guys doing? Vanishing is strictly prohibited under Tappatok law. Oh yeah, their timeline doesn't exist anymore. That means they were never created, were they? {The Cleanser Geek herself begins to disintegrate.} You fools... you'll pay for this! You may have foiled my plans in this timeline, but I have confidence in my other selves. The Cleanser Geek of your timeline will get her revenge, I assure you. You won't get away... with... {disappears fully} {Gfd, Honstlar, SRMX12, and Dooble stare out at the infinite space that lies around them, now completely empty.} So... what now? It's exactly as I warned you about. We are now existing in a state of limbo outside of the flow of time. And because there is no time, nothing can happen, ever. But on the bright side, that means we can't die, right? I'm not sure if that's preferrable to spending an incomprehensibly interminable span of time with you three. Couldn't the void of timelessness at least have Wi-Fi or something? Well, I guess we're going to have to get used to our new home for the next several, thousand, billion, gajrillion, whatever years. I'll sleep in that patch of nothing over there. Aw man, I wanted that patch of nothing. Hey, how did he get here? (Pan to the Goblin dancing while the Goblin music plays.) Oh, I'm pretty sure he's just some omnipresent cosmic deity, nothing to worry about. So how are we going to survive the next eternity seconds/years without going insane? It'll be great! We have an entire infinite void of nothingness to ourselves. We can do whatever we want! {Gfd coughs up EDITED Video Greg's magic sketchbook.} I forgot I ate that. You're right, with this sketchbook, we can turn anything we want into reality! We can create our own universe! We can moisten a salad! THE GOBLIN: {dances} That's a terrible suggestion, Goblin. Yeah, they don't even have parking lots, let alone meter maids! {Fade to later. An entire city has been drawn to fill the empty void. Gfd sits atop a giant castle in a throne made of cheese. Honstlar lives in a luxury mansion. SRMX12 flies around in a spaceship. Dooble sits in a can of beans.} Subjects of Honstgfdsrmxdooblia, I hereby decree that all cream puffs created within this province shall be donated as a tax to Prime Emperor Garbles. Hey, you said that about donuts last month. Besides, we don't even live in your province anymore, remember? Your decrees no longer apply to us. That's right, I forgot you seceded back in Marchember 301.8. Well, I suppose my army is going to have to invade your province, then. Go ahead. Honstopolis has been building a force field protecting its twelve major cities, which should now be fully operational. You don't stand a chance. {A sketched army of robot soldiers bursts out of Gfd's castle.} Ready the spacefleet, Vice Grandmaster! Our citizens must evacuate to the 52nd shelter site! Leave none behind! But Honstopolis alone has a population of 1.2 million, not to mention all the other territories! What about those beneath the Dooblius caverns? They survived the invasion of Septobruary 27.1, they should be in no harm. Now go, protect the Honstopolians from our Prime Emperor's forces! GOBLIN: {dances} No, Goblin, Waddlus-4 is several galaxies away from Garbloid Major. That's just not feasible. (Dooble throws a moonrock at Honstlar.) Hey, Big Jim! Arch-Tyrant Dooble Supreme! I thought our nations had an alliance! How could you break our 1,500-yearnth truce? There are no beans in this agreement! Attack, strudels! {An army of strudels rises from under the ground.} No! Dooble has been building an army of super strudel soldiers for the past 1,500 yearnths! {Complete war breaks out between the nations. Cut to the Pillquarters.} Where's Gfd, Honstlar, SRMX12, and Dooble? They're supposed to be here. If we want to find them, we have to think like them. What would Gfd do? If I was Gfd, I would purchase a truckload of food items, then accidentally topple a city down with that truck. I'd fix the city by merging reality with video games and paying Mista Fixit with the Infinite Power Crunch, which bestows endless coins. This infinite money would cause the economy to collapse, but I would use my eating powers to reverse my mistake, then go on a time travelling adventure just for fun. Unfortunately, Tappatok would chase us through time, and my only course of action would be to consume the timeline, leaving us stranded outside of time in an eternal void of nothing. How do you know? Just a hunch. {Cut back to the void beyond time.} {Gfd, Honstlar, SRMX12, and Dooble are flying around in spaceships crashing through different planets.} You can't get away from me! I will have those cream puffs! {A stack of strudels blocks the spaceships.} No, Dooble's army of strudels is blocking the barrier to the 217th sector! How will we circumnavigate the forces of Honstopolis-12? {A portal opens and the rest of the BODH walks out.} Hey, nice timeless void. You guys draw all these planets yourselves? Dang, looks like they've set up a whole system of government, and its factions are currently waging war over the consumption of pastries. Who would've expected anything less from these guys being trapped in an eternal void of nothingness? How long've you been here, anyways? Invaders from beyond our realm! Attack! {The spaceships begin shooting beams down at the BODH.} Ow, hey, stop! It's us, the BODH, remember? The BODH? That sounds... vaguely familiar, doesn't it? Yeah, didn't we know these guys before the whole "trapped for eternity in our own dimension" thing? Wow, they must've been here a long time. Technically they've been here for no time at all, since this place is outside of the flow of time. That's why it was no time at all in our world, but potentially millions of years in theirs. Weren't we in, like, some kinda club? Yeah, come on. You're late for our meeting. But I just made a military strike against the keepers of the cream puffs! I must see this plan through to the end!! We have cream puffs at the Pillquarters. Oh. Well then, count me in! Oh yeah, that reminds me, where's my hoverboard? Your what? I believe you left it in the 2.7th dimensional sector during the Invasions of District S7-14R. Ah, of course. {a keyboard protrudes from his hat; he types on it and a hoverboard appears} Now we can leave. Don't forget my wealth of the billion hyperdoubloons! That was sent back in time by the mechanical faction of the Zar'aight province, remember? I'm not sure I want to know any more about what's been going on here. It's okay, you're not missing much. It's only been, what, 20,000 yearnths? Yearnths? Yeah, we had to make up a new unit of time measurement 'cause it's been so long. So how many days is a yearnth? This unit of measurement isn't compatible with any other systems of measurement. Calculation is impossible. Exactly. Yearnths function on a non-linear spacetime quantification. Time works differently here, you see. So, uh, how 'bout those cream puffs? Yes! Cream puffs for all!! {Everyone walks through the portal, with Honstlar flying on his hoverboard.} {Cut to the BODH in the Pillquarters.} And that's what happened to all those cream puffs. Uh, Supreme Overlord, that story made no sense at all. What part didn't make sense? I dunno, maybe the part where you destroyed and rebuilt an entire city? Or became infinitely rich and caused the apocolypse? Or the bit where a robot army took over the entirety of the timeline? Or that section where the cream puffs all just spontaneously combusted for no reason at all? That was a true part. What's with the crumbs on your face? It's a fashion statement. Can we end the episode now to make it ambiguous as to whether the story actually happened? Sure, whatever. {Cut to a black screen with text reading "the somewhat edible end". A bite is taken out of the text.}