Inanimate Objects in Decidedly Non-Inanimate Situations/Episode 1a

Plot: The cast has some random meetings and then learns about the newest competition

Transcript
{The toon opens with F-Sack and Tony Stony in the Field}

HUMIDIBOT: {rolling in} Hey F-Sack, hey F-Sack! {he trips over Tony and falls over} F-Sack!

F-SACK: What do you want now?

HUMIDIBOT: First, could you set me, Humidibot upright again?

F-SACK: Oh, horse puppies. Not again.

{He opens his sack mouth and a crane arm comes out to lift Humidibot back on his wheels}

HUMIDIBOT: Thanks, thanks. Hey F-Sack!!

F-SACK: Whaaaaat?

HUMIDIBOT: I just wanna say hi to my good buddy cuz I'm Humidibot!

F-SACK: You came all this way just for THAT?

HUMIDIBOT: I just love to talk a lot for no reason at all!

TONY STONY: {blinks} I should go now. Yeah.

{He stands up on object-show arms and legs and walks off}

HUMIDIBOT: He's my good buddy too!

{Cut to Doreauxgard and the Drive-Thru Whale}

DOREAUXGARD: Can't you say any sense, rust bucket?

DRIVE-THRU WHALE: {crackly and distorted voice} Please play the 7th Guest. Would you like a gameFAQ?

DOREAUXGARD: I never could make heads or pencils of that game!

{Tony Stony walks in}

TONY STONY: What craziness... is going on here?

DRIVE-THRU WHALE: Don't forget to waste away.

DOREAUXGARD: {rolls his eyes} Just the usual drivel from this guy.

TONY STONY: Maybe I can figure out what he's saying.

{He walks up to the speaker}

TONY STONY: Helloooo?

DRIVE-THRU WHALE: Please leave your protruberances in the parking lot, ma'am.

TONY STONY: Nope, I understood none of that.

{He hears a printing sound and turns around}

THE PAPER: {printing out} > everybody shut it! > Onion Bubs just showed up!

''{Pan over to Onion Bubs. The stock sound plays of crowds cheering and yelling "ONION BUBS!"}''

ONION BUBS: Nobody can resist the charms!

{Frank Bennedetto, now with limbs like Tony Stony's, walks up with a medal in his hands}

FRANK BENNEDETTO: I bestow upon you the Homestarmy Medal of Having Many Fives of Bucks!

ONION BUBS: Hot time!

{Back to Humidibot, who has just encountered the outline of Scotty Titi}

HUMIDIBOT: Hey, hey, do you wanna be the good friend of Humidibot too?

{Scotty is imaginary and doesn't answer}

HUMIDIBOT: It's okay if you're shy! Take your time!

''{A bark startles him. The cookie jar Trivia Time stands at his wheels}''

HUMIDIBOT: Oh, wow a super cute pet!

{Trivia Time opens his lid to take in the humidifier fluid Humidibot is spitting out}

HUMIDIBOT: I wouldn't do that! I think that stuff is toxic!

''{There is a sharp whistling sound that causes everyone to turn around. it turns out to be the Lappier}''

LAPPIER: Hey.

TONY STONY: {rubbing his "ear"} Can you do that again? I can still hear outta this one.

LAPPIER: Let's play a game!

{A wide shot of everybody standing with blank expressions, except Humidibot}

HUMIDIBOT: I love games!

LAPPIER: Lemme be more specific. How'd you like to win a chance to be a Homestar Runner main character?

{Back to the wide shot, and now everybody is cheering with excitement}

LAPPIER: That's right! You could bust in on a Strong Bad Email, or shoot the crap with Bubs, any time you want! You even get a character video!

F-SACK: But wait... how are you gonna decide?

LAPPIER: That's where the game comes in. You guys are gonna compete to see who gets the privilege.

ONION BUBS: And the losers?

LAPPIER: {spooky voice} They will suffer a horrible fate! Whoooo!

THE PAPER: > That's a risk I'm willing to take.

DRIVE-THRU WHALE: We only got four minutes to save the world.

FRANK BENNEDETTO: {salutes} I've made my peace. Sign me up, General Lappissimo!

LAPPIER: Great. Now... form two teams!

THE PAPER: > I CALL ONION BUBS!!!

TONY STONY: Yeah yeah, me too!

ONION BUBS: Just don't hold me back, slow-mos.

{Humidibot peeks at F-Sack from the side of the screen}

HUMIDIBOT: Hey F-Sack, can we--

F-SACK: Absolutely not! I'm forming a no-Humidibot team.

DOREAUXGARD: Count me in, sack. I hate that spit-mouthed machine.

HUMIDIBOT: Okay, I'm going over here now!

{He sits on Onion Bubs' team}

DOREAUXGARD: Who else?

F-SACK: Bennedetto should be on our team.

FRANK BENNEDETTO: If I join, I'm bringing this K-9 unit as well.

{Trivia Time barks and joins the team}

{Meanwhile, only Scotty and Drive-Thru Whale haven't been picked}

DRIVE-THRU WHALE: Sorry, the World Tree is out of order.

DOREAUXGARD: Oh man... I guess we should pick the whale. At least he's real life.

DRIVE-THRU WHALE: That'll be 96 tears, sir.

{Scotty Titi stares at Onion Bubs}

ONION BUBS: Shut up! You play 8th base!

{Scotty floats beside the team}

LAPPIER: Alright guys. Now your teams need names.

THE PAPER: > obviously, we are gonna be the Onion Bubses!

{The other four members cheer for Onion Bubs, and The Onion Bubses logo appears}

LAPPIER: {to Doreauxgard} What about you guys?

DOREAUXGARD: Hmm, I don't know.

F-SACK: Should be snappy and easy to memorize...

DRIVE-THRU WHALE: Welcome to Blubb-O's! Would you care if I died tomorrow?

{The logo Welcome to Blubb-O's appears}

LAPPIER: We are ready to start, guys!... next episode! Sorry, gotta wait awhile longer.

{Everyone groans}