hpe/dvd4/deleted

Photo Booth
I originally had Cus sneak into the photo booth to speak to Jaundice Jerry. The scene was cut because it was kinda complex and not that funny, and it was a lot simpler to just have them hear Jerry from outside the booth.

GOBLIN: SHUT UP ABOUT PLAN A! {clears throat} Cus, you go into the&mdash;

{Wide shot, revealing Cus has left}

GOBLIN: ...Where'd he go?

''{Cut to Cus sneaking inside the photo booth. The Cheat is hiding a pile of taffy, and Cus stealthily jumps into the pile without being noticed. The Cheat walks out.}''

HP: {through a speaker} {imitating static} Kggh. This is Agent G speaking to Agent C. Agent C, do you copy? Over. Kghh.

CUS: {growls}

HP: {through a speaker} Yeah, I know I could. But Agent C just sounds cooler. Anyways...

''{Cut to the Halloween characters. HP is holding a walkie-talkie.}''

HP: We need you to contact Jerry and Gabby. If they haunt everyone's photo, they'll get scared and give us our booth back. Over. Kggh.

CUS: {through the walkie-talkie} {growls}

HP: Kggh. Great, thanks. Over and out. Kggh.

GOBLIN: Actually, "over" means "you speak now", and "out" means "we're done talking". So "over and out" is an oxymoron, and it should just be "out".

HP: Whatever.

{Cut to the inside of the photo booth}

CUS: {growls}

JAUNDICE JERRY: {echoey voiceover} I'm sorry, are you talking to me?

CUS: {louder growls}

JAUNDICE JERRY: {echoey voiceover} I can't understand you.

CUS: {growls into the walkie-talkie}

GOBLIN: {through the walkie-talkie} Oh, you want me to talk to him?

CUS: {affirmative growls}

GOBLIN: {through the walkie-talkie} Sure, Cus. Hey, Jerry, would you mind doing a favor for us? And for you? Mostly for you?

JAUNDICE JERRY: {echoey voiceover} I guess. What is it?

HP: {through the walkie-talkie} Can you haunt every single photo of these dumb animal characters? We need 'em to get scared and return our photo booth.

JAUNDICE JERRY: {echoey voiceover} I'm afraid I can only do that if they repeat "Jaundice Jerry will never marry" three times. I could get fired for doing otherwise.

{Cut back to the Halloween characters}

HP: Well, rats. There's gotta be some other way to scare 'em into giving us our booth back...

HP: Uh oh. {into the walkie-talkie} Attention, Agent C. We have a penguin. Repeat. We have a penguin.

GOBLIN: We have a what?!

HP: I dunno. Spy movies always use bird names as secret codes, right? {into the walkie-talkie} What I mean is, someone's coming! Hide!

''{Cut back to Cus. He hides in the taffy pile as the King of Town walks in.}''

THE KING OF TOWN: Doo! Taffies!

{Cut to the Halloween characters}

GOBLIN: Oh no. Oh no. The King is eating the taffy. The taffy that Cus is hiding in. {into the walkie-talkie} Don't blow your cover, Agent C! Repeat! DON'T BLOW YOUR COVER!

{Cut back to the King of Town}

THE KING OF TOWN: {holding a taffy with a gold tooth in it} I should take a picture of myself eating this nasty taffy!

''{He takes three photos and steps outside. The photos have a ghost glare on them.}''

THE KING OF TOWN: Doo! A ghost! What is this, some kind of haunted photo booth? {drops the photos}

Finale
The Goblin's answer in the game show was originally too long, so I shortened it. It's a fun idea for an email show episode, but it's not easily communicated in a quick synopsis like this.

BOSS: Thank you for your thoughts, Gfd. Goblin, if your inbox is empty and you had to write an email for yourself to answer on the show, what would you write?

GOBLIN: "Dear Goblin, what's the worst thing that ever happened to you?". I could, uh, talk about some minor inconveniences like stubbing my toe, then talk about how I haven't really suffered that much in my life... {speaking quickly} then in a twist of irony, my computer explodes, and I'm evicted from my house which burns down, and all this bad stuff happens. Then I come to conclusion that I was jinxed by that email, and I try to get someone to send another one that's the opposite. So I get an email asking what's the best thing that ever happened to me, and suddenly everything turns out great. I begin to catch on that the emails I receive are becoming real, and I start asking people to send emails like "Hey Goblin, here's a million dollars" or "Here's a time machine", so those things would happen. Then the episode could end with an email asking, like, "Dear Goblin, how would you feel if the last 24 hours of your life was undone?" and suddenly everything's normal again. I think that's a fun idea with a neat story and some potential for situational humor.

BOSS: That's too many words. I'll ask the question again, so try to be more succinct this time.

At the time of the final email, there was one last message left in the inbox. I considered working it into the email this way, but I ended up figuring out a more interesting way to do it.

GOBLIN: I think the reason we're having trouble coming up with a good finale is because we don't have any content to work with.

HP: You're right, I should check another email.

HP: Uh... yes. I guess I am. How do I even respond to that?

GOBLIN: Well, it was worth a try.

Originally, the boss and the next email show tease were a much less significant part of the episode, and would have only shown up in an Easter egg. But at the time I wasn't sure exactly what my next email show would be, so with a short deadline (I wanted to release the email on the series' tenth anniversary), I decided to make that indecision into part of the episode. Here's that old Easter egg.

''{Cut to the smoky office. The lights are off, and a silhouetted figure sits behind the desk with a Homestar-like body, an upside down egg-shaped head, and a small bowler hat. In front of him sits a steaming mug with "THE BOSS" written on it. He ominously takes a sip and puts the mug back down. After a few seconds, a door is heard opening and closing. Another silhouette sits in front of the desk.}''

BOSS: Ah, I see you've recieved my offer.

OTHER SILHOUETTE: Uh, yeah. It is a bit strange that I was offered the position, since... I never applied for this job interview.

{The boss takes another sip from his mug.}

OTHER SILHOUETTE: ...Th&mdash; this is a job interview, isn't it?

BOSS: Yes. Yes it is.

OTHER SILHOUETTE: Then why are the lights off?

BOSS: For dramatic effect. {lightning strikes}

OTHER SILHOUETTE: And how is there lightning indoors?

BOSS: DRAMATIC EFFECT!

OTHER SILHOUETTE: All right. Sorry for asking. So, erm, what's the position exactly?

BOSS: I simply wanted to ask if you would like to participate... {the camera rotates as it zooms into a close-up of the boss's silhouetted face} in my next project. {lightning strikes again}

OTHER SILHOUETTE: Why did you say that so ominously?

BOSS: DRAMATIC EFFE&mdash;

''{Cut to TV static. "2022" flashes on the screen for a split second.}''